Narrowing The Gap Up North

By Sniffles

We cats understand that we might have to explain a few things about Canadian politics. Not that we're experts, mind you, but we try.

First, gentle American readers, in Canada the whole red-versus-blue thing is reversed. The Liberal Party's official color is red while the Conservatives (Tories) are blue. The Bloc Quebecois also likes blue, although they spell it bleu. The National Democratic Party (NDP) has lately leaned toward orange.

However, since the Liberals and the Tories are the two biggest parties, polling tends to focus on them alone. Which means that the match-up reflected above is pretty interesting. Looks like the Liberals, whose death warrant Canadian pundits were all signing last week, now are only six points behind. Hm!

In a Parliamentary system, the elections are blessedly short. This one will last about five to six weeks. But it's long enough to ensure that the ever-unappealing Tory Prime Minister Stephen Harper has cancelled plans to attend the Royal Wedding. (Aw, gee, Wills and Kate — try to buck up, if you can.)

We cats have often pointed out the similarities between the Harper Tories and the U.S. Republican Party. Well, gosh — turns out that Harper is having to explain today why a crooked guy who's being investigated by the RCMP is managing his campaign in Alberta. Boing!

And speaking of Tory hypocrisy, here's another interesting nugget. If a party wins the most seats in Parliament but not a numerical majority, the other parties can try to band together and form a coalition government. Stephen Harper just totally bitched about this scenario the other day, but back in 1997, he was all for it.

Finally, just in case we all need to know this, the guy who's currently head of the Liberal Party bears the unlikely name of Michael Ignatieff. That's pronounced Ig-KNOT-tee-eff. It took us cats awhile to learn this. And yes, every time we see a picture of him, we think he's going to be handsome — and then we realize, no, he's not.

Tiers of the Clowns

By Baxter

Well, this is intriguing. What do all these polls we're seeing lately — the ones with Mike Huckabee (groan!) atop the Republican Presidential field — really mean?

The most recent poll has the Hefty Huckster pummeling the Blubbery Mr. Barbour in Haley's home state of Mississippi. But it's only one of several Public Policy Polling surveys that have been dribbling out of late. They're happily roiling things up on the GOP side — because Hucklebunny, who seems to be in the lead every time, doesn't yet appear to be running.

But back to our original question. We cats think that, outside of the hard-core base, the broader Republican electorate (including Republican-leaning independents) isn't paying attention yet. So when they're asked, here's what races through their tiny little minds. They don't take the famous killer from Alaska seriously. They're uncomfortable about Romney, although they probably couldn't explain why. But they have vaguely warm and fuzzy thoughts about Huckabee, who therefore does well in these (largely meaningless) polls.

So, knowing all that, what conclusions can one draw? We cats believe that despite the wide-open 2012 field, the Republicans continue to be a hierarchical, pick-the-next-guy-in-line party. And depending on how you interpret the events of 2008, Romney, Palin and Huckabee are the obvious next-in-liners. So we take these early polls as potential bad news for Romney and Palin.

Yep, we admit, the PPP polls are probably time-wasters. But at the very least, they're keeping the clown college that passes for a GOP Presidential field in an unsettled state of volatility and flux. Which is a good thing. We cats PURR.

Expressing Appreciation

By Miss Kubelik

Now we cats know why our mothers taught us to write thank-you notes. At first glance, we found the latest political headlines disgusting and depressing. But once we looked closer, we realized that there's a lot of good stuff to be grateful for. So we'd be remiss if we didn't say:

Thank you, Bill Sammon, for finally proving that FOX "News" is nothing but a Republican lie, the biggest misnomer of the century (and maybe ever), and a smarmy organization devoutly to be shunned.

Merci, America, for figuring out that the teabaggers are a bunch of extremists who believe in making all our lives nasty, brutish and short.

Gracias, crazy guy from the New Hampshire Liberty Caucus, for deciding that his state simply has to replicate Representative Steve King's recent right-wing nutfest in Iowa. We can't think of a better way to drive New England moderates to President Obama in 2012.

And finally, danke, GOP, for the biggest class of clowns we cats have ever seen in a Presidential candidate pool. (And we've been around for awhile.) That motley group just keeps getting weirder. Donald Trump? John Bolton? Michele Bachmann? Surely you jest — and here's the topper. Rick Santorum's daughter (not the crying one) has a terminal disease. But he's sticking to the campaign trail. Now, that's what we call "pro-life."

(IMAGE: Sketchfu.com)

Then And Now

By Zamboni

We cats don't usually go in for the "what if?" school of history and current events. But the hysterical reaction to Libya in the media and blogosphere — not to mention in Congress — has been SO silly. Therefore, we're tempted.

Why, we wondered? Oh why oh why oh why can a Republican do things like take action against a horrible dictator, and get laurels and hardy handshakes — but if a Democrat (particularly a black Democrat) does it, we all have to tear our hair out and scream?

The answer to that question remains elusive, so let's just get on with the game. Finish this sentence: If Reagan were still President and he decided to attack Libya....

• Congress, especially the Republican House, wouldn't utter a peep. (Well, maybe Dennis Kucinich.) And by the way, Ronnie did not get Congressional approval when he bombed Ghadafi in 1986.
• The media would be out-and-out celebrating the recent rebel advances.
• John McCain would be saying, "We are all Libyans now."
• Nobody would be accusing the President of not explaining the mission. (For the record, President Obama already has done so in an initial statement, three press conferences and a Saturday video.)
• There would be no talk about exit strategies. That's because Republicans and their media enablers know nothing as fun as beating the crap out of somebody. When the GOP is in charge, they couldn't care less about casualties or how much it costs.
• The media would relentlessly cite previous atrocities that weren't prevented, complete with gory pictures.
• The "I" word not only would be verboten, it would be completely unimaginable — and totally marginalize whoever was foolish enough to raise it.

"Liberal media"? "Country first"? Give us a break.

UPDATE: Silly us. How could we have forgotten these?

• FOX "News" would be the lead cheerleader.
• Everyone would be wearing yellow ribbons that say, "Support the air strikers."

Tidbits and Cat Treats — Slightly Snowy Edition

By Sniffles

We cats awoke this morning to a half-inch dusting of snow. By midday it had all melted, and the guy across the street was mowing his lawn. We think it's probably time for spring to have sprung. Until it does, however, here are a few news items to ponder.

Didn't we just wonder if the opposition parties in Canada would try to tar the recently fallen Conservative government as right-wing Republicans in Canadian clothing? Guess what! Bloc Quebecois leader Gilles Duceppe wasted no time doing just that. "Stephen Harper and his disciples," he said yesterday, are "a populist, retrograde Tea Party" and "think the Flintstones is a documentary."

Hairball alert: The recent story about Republican cartoon character Haley Barbour getting all weepy over abortion makes us cats want to gag. First, we long ago stopped treating seriously any male opinion on the issue. (Get a womb, fellas.) Second, we highly doubt that the bulbous Mr. Barbour would care about our aborted litters since every one of those kittens would have grown up to be a Democrat. Finally, have you seen the infant mortality figures in Mississippi? The state's 10-year average for 1,000 live births is 6.8 for whites and 14.7 for blacks. (The U.S. average is 6.1.) In 2006, Mississippi had the highest infant mortality rate in the nation (10.6). Would that Hefty Haley cared as much about babies after they're born.

Speaking of hot-button social issues, there have to be some pragmatists in the Republican Party — you know, people who understand that you have to win not just a nomination but a general election — who are not happy about what's going on in Iowa these days.

Finally, did the haters from Wichita picket Elizabeth Taylor's funeral, or not? We cats are curious. Although the Phelps idiots have been known in the past to be no-shows, we're hoping that, not realizing Taylor had converted to Judaism in 1959, they were caught off-guard by the speed of the service. Or maybe they were just too busy trying to repair their hacked website. Any day that that filth is removed from the Internet is a good day by us. We cats PURR.

Geraldine Ferraro, 1935-2011

"Sasha and Malia will grow up in a more equal America because of the life Geraldine Ferraro chose to live." —President Obama

Election Canada: A Few Observations

By Baxter

We cats are mindful that True North politics are good for an easy laugh south of the border. Think of Kramer on "Seinfeld," claiming he had to watch a T.V. show in Jerry's apartment because his own set was busy recording the Canadian Parliament.

Well, tant pis, as the French would say. The debate on Parliament Hill this week has been raucous, and much more entertaining than the usual soporific proceedings of Congress. There's been a ton of name-calling, taunts and good old-fashioned insults of the "whited supulcher" type. We cats were waiting for the thunking of members' walking canes and the tossing of wigs.

Long story short, today the Harper government fell. An election is set for May 2, and conventional wisdom has it that this may be the Conservatives' final and best opportunity to win a majority. We cats aren't so sure. But we have a few questions.

The Canadian punditheads are doing a big eye-roll and saying that the voters, being totally not into an election, will return the Tories to power. But what if, after five years of minority stalemate, Canadians decide they're ready for something different? (We cats wonder, particularly since the no-confidence vote occurred not just on a budgetary question but, for the first time in history, amid allegations of contempt of Parliament.)

If not, is it possible that following a Tory victory all three opposition parties will be headed by Quebec politicians — Justin Trudeau (sigh) for the Liberals, Thomas Mulcair for the NDP, and quiconque for the Bloc Quebecois? (Sorry, folks, we just can't keep all those Bloc guys straight.)

Will Stephen Harper attend the Royal Wedding? We know he's been invited. But how can he leave the country less than a week before Election Day? And especially since he needs to protect the 11 seats that the Conservatives currently hold in non-Windsor-worshiping Quebec?

Are we cats allowed to pine for the days when a Prime Minister called on a Governor General who wasn't an old white guy?

Will the opposition parties invoke the Republicans to demonstrate the perils of right-wingers in charge? Sounds like a good campaign strategy to us!

(IMAGE: Stephen Harper is an unappealing Pillsbury doughboy, so we went with Justin. Sue us.)

Lambrain

By Miss Kubelik

Goodness gracious, Republicans are the essence of mendacity. If you thought the fake "I was attacked by an Obama supporter" incident back in 2008 wasn't embarrassing enough, you will love this.

Back in February, some nitwit named Carlos Lam — who, by the way, was not a nobody but, astoundingly, a deputy prosecutor in Johnson County, Indiana — e-mailed the certain-to-be-recalled Wisconsin Governor, Scott Walker, with some curious advice.

“If you could employ an associate who pretends to be sympathetic to the unions’ cause to physically attack you (or even use a firearm against you), you could discredit the unions,” he wrote. "God bless, Carlos F. Lam."

What's interesting to us cats is not only that this fool deemed a "false flag" operation appropriate — it's that the e-mail was written within days of Walker's phone conversation with the prankster posing as right-wing billionaire David Koch. In that talk, "Koch" asked Walker about "planting some troublemakers" among Wisconsin union protesters. "You know... we thought about that," Walker says. Gee, ya think?

Meanwhile, after initially denying he sent the e-mail, Lam has perhaps envisioned a life lived on his last name and has confessed and resigned his job. Of course, he's only the second Indiana prosecutor to disgrace himself with such foolishness: Remember Jeffrey Cox and his "live ammunition"?

Ugh. We cats aren't crazy about baths, but we're thinking of taking one.

The Wrath of Khan

By Zamboni

Here we go again: Now it's a McGill University student who has forever enshrined his personal jackassedness via new media.

We're sure it won't get much coverage, because the student in question is neither a blonde female nor flashing cleavage on YouTube. But it's probably more serious than that stupid girl's anti-Asian rant at UCLA, because it involves threats.

The student, a lamebrain named Haaris Khan, tweeted angrily about fellow students who were watching a political documentary he disagreed with. "I want to shoot everyone in this room," he said. "I should have brought an M16. The jihad starts today."

It's not as if the atmosphere wasn't already kind of charged: Khan posted his tweets during McGill's annual Israeli Apartheid Week, in which students organize events in support of the Palestinians. As you'd expect in such a potentially incendiary situation, the university and Montreal police are investigating. And Khan now is groveling and penitent.

We cats say to the officials of McGill: Toss this jerk. In the wake of horrific shootings like Dawson College in 2006 and the Ecole Polytechnique massacre in 1989, idiots like Khan — and all the morons who have shot their mouths off on Twitter and YouTube — should learn a lesson.

Free speech is not just a precious right. It's a tremendous responsibility. Grow up.

(IMAGE: The 14 women who lost their lives to a woman-hating gunman at the Ecole Polytechnique.)

Fear of Art

By Sniffles

Perhaps emboldened by his fellow Republican Governors' assaults on labor, the teabaggy Governor of Maine has decided that a Judy Taylor mural has to go.

The mural, on display at the state's department of labor, is too pro-union, Mr. Teabag says. (We cats refuse to give him the dignity of naming him, because he's an idiot.)

Above are three panels from the 11-panel piece. But already you can see how subversive it is. For a complete look, click here.

You know what? It is un-American to attack working men and women. It is cowardly and stupid to go after a commissioned work of art. But it's particularly disgusting 1) on the eve of the Triangle Shirtwaist anniversary and 2) after brave nuclear plant workers in Japan have been hospitalized for risking their lives on the job.

We cats HISS.

Ghosts Of The Past

By Zamboni

With the hundredth anniversary of the Triangle Shirtwaist fire fast approaching, we cats would just like to say that The New York Times has done an outstanding job covering the event. From the fire itself to its influence on labor rights to a history of women's shirtwaists, The Times' writing, reporting and editing have all been commendable.

We cats will refrain from making obvious remarks that dead teenagers on New York's 1911 sidewalks represent the fruits of deregulation. Good heavens, we don't have to go back 100 years — all we have to do is trot out pictures of the Deepwater Horizon inferno to make that point.

Instead, we'd like to take this opportunity — especially, post-September 11, 2001 — to observe the Triangle anniversary as a salute to the resiliency of New York. As an NYU student observed outside the Triangle building today: "I guess it’s like all of New York. It has a lot of history and you can’t really escape, and our place of learning is in that place.”

To paraphrase Ghostbuster Ernie Hudson, we love this town.

(PHOTO: Eric Michael Johnson, The New York Times)

A Salute to Maggie the Cat (and Friends)

By Baxter

We cats have mixed feelings about the passing of Elizabeth Taylor. Her admirable work on behalf of AIDS victims is, for us, nearly wiped out by her bizarre personal life, her (mostly scenery-chewing) performances in a bunch of not-great movies, and her dubious gift to the Commonwealth of Virginia of a Republican U.S. Senator.

But we feel we do have to pay tribute to Maggie the Cat. With Taylor's death, the wonderful actors who brought "Cat On a Hot Tin Roof" to pulsating life are nearly all gone now. (And have two more gorgeous people ever spent an entire movie not sleeping together?)

To Taylor, Paul Newman, Burl Ives, Jack Carson and Dame Judith Anderson, we cats PURR. And to Madeleine Sherwood, a Montreal native and the only remaining cast member, we cats say, just stay on that hot tin roof... 'long as you can.

P.S. Of course we cats must also mention that after co-starring in 1950's "Father of the Bride," Elizabeth Taylor and Spencer Tracy thereafter addressed each other in private life by their affectionate onscreen nicknames: "Pops" and "Kitten."

Tidbits and Cat Treats — Everyone's Upset Edition

By Miss Kubelik

What is it? The fickle spring weather? March Madness? An overdose of news about Charlie Sheen? Whatever the explanation, we cats think people are getting way too testy these days. Here are a few examples.

Vladimir Putin is shocked, shocked that the Western allies are preventing Ghadafi from slaughtering his own people in Libya. Note to Vlad: Good heavens, you jerk. If you're so offended by this, why didn't Russia simply vote "no" in the UN Security Council? You doth protest too much, we thinks. (Ditto to you, China.)

And Dennis Kucinich, shame on you.

Meanwhile, on the weenie Republican side, the potential 2012ers are either fulminating or keeping mum about Libya. (Something we wish Dennis Kucinich would do.) Gee. We cats are wondering what happened to the Republican self-identification with beleaguered peoples. Where is the candidate declaring, "We are all Libyans now"?

On that note, allow us cats to be vexed with something ourselves.

We've tried not to pay too much attention to the famous killer from Alaska and her trip to India and the Middle East — mainly because she clearly has no desire to be President (too much work), and we think that she's teasing the media with the possibility of a 2012 run because it suits her financial purposes.

But we find it amazing that a half-term Governor who never built a profile in the American-Israeli community can score some easy media coverage by showing up at the Western Wall and meeting with that pain in the ass, Bibi Netanyahu (who also should be ashamed of himself, by the way). Puh-leez. Did she ever visit a synagogue while campaigning for Governor of Alaska?  Is there a Jewish place of worship in Wasilla (population, 10,000)? How many Jewish events did she do while running for two months for Vice President? How many other paid commentators on FOX "News" (besides Fat Mike Huckabee, who's a minister) get coverage of their trips to Israel?

Dennis Kucinich, move over.

P.S. The Reagan vest? Tsk! If Nancy were coherent, she'd die.

Calling Roger Ailes

By Sniffles

Is it possible that people can still be driven from polite society in shame? That stupid blonde cleavage-flasher with the anti-Asian YouTube rant says she's leaving UCLA. Although the university has chosen not to discipline her, Alexandra Wallace claims the post-video harassment she's endured is making life at school impossible.

While Ms. Wallace (what an apt last name!) apparently has apologized for her racist tirade against people who currently are suffering beyond imagination, we cats find it hard to feel sorry for her. Mainly because we're certain that FOX will offer her a show next week, on which she'll spend most of her time whining about political correctness and free speech and the liberal media and blood libel.

You heard it here first.

The Apple Falls Far from the Birch

By Zamboni

We cats have always adored Birch Bayh. Those blue eyes! Those dimples! Those classically liberal beliefs! Back in the good old days (i.e., the 1970s), when we could name every member of the U.S. Senate, Birch always stood out as one of our total faves.

Unfortunately, it appears that for all his fine qualities, Birch Bayh was a terrible father. Witness the sad, sad case of Evan Bayh. The former Indiana Governor and Senator, a Democrat, has just announced he will join FOX "News" as a paid political "analyst."

This makes us cats want to throw up — and as you probably know, cats are champion barfers, so that's saying a lot.

It wasn't enough that Evan has always been a tad, um, dull. (Some years back, we were invited to an Evan meet-and-greet at a major Democratic donor's South Florida home, and almost passed out from ennui.) Then the lunkhead announced he wouldn't run for re-election to the Senate in 2010, effectively handing his seat over to Republican Dan Coats. Then, he refused to share his vast campaign war chest with struggling Democratic candidates in a tough Democratic year. And now, the FOX gig. Evan, why don't you just switch parties, and be done with it?

We cats HISS at Evan Bayh and wish him nothing but ill. As for his daddy, we can only hope that he's walking around with a paper bag over his adorable head.

Unnecessary Roughness

By Baxter

One of the most depressing things about e-mail, Twitter, YouTube, and the Internet in general is that we all get to quickly realize how mean people are.

Whether it's that idiot girl at UCLA who seems to think that there's a superior mode of behavior known as "American manners," or Gilbert Gottfried (whoever the heck he is, we cats can't be bothered), the ease of hitting the "send" button means that there's very little self-censorship going on. But we cats feel compelled to point out that Republicans have raised nastiness to the level of high art.

The latest episode to catch our attention is the pig-shaped man (see above) who was GOP cartoon character Haley Barbour's press secretary until he was caught joking in his e-mailed press clippings about the tsunami in Japan and former Attorney General Janet Reno.

First, let us cats set aside the screamingly obvious issue of why any adult professional would put such adolescent drivel in writing and send it out to the world to read. Because his choice of targets just really struck us as unbelievably below the belt. Why would you pick on a country that's grappling with a triple-whammy disaster and probably tens of thousand dead? Why would you zing a Democratic Cabinet member who's been out of office for a decade and who's currently battling Parkinson's disease? Because you're a mean, unfeeling Republican asshole, that's why.

And from where does that Republican assholiness spring? From the sense of entitlement that privileged white guys feel. In their cushy world, people who don't look like them, who don't share their gender, or who just don't think like them are subhuman, easy to make fun of — even when they're bearing up under the stiffest of challenges.

Consider us cats disgusted. And glad that our guy, President Obama, appears to be the only grownup in the room.

UPDATE: We cats have just watched the entire YouTube video of that dumb girl at UCLA, and — goodness gracious. This stupid young woman is racist, but her rant would not have received nearly as much attention had she not been blonde and flashing cleavage. Pathetic!

George Will: Grammar Dunce

By Miss Kubelik

George F. Will is a dumbass. Not because he's going after Sarah Palin (we cats love it when Republicans fight), but because — despite his reputation as an effete GOP snob and bow-tie-sporting scholar — he doesn't speak English very well.

Tracing the roots of conservative intellectualism back to his idol, William F. Buckley, Will said, "The contrast between he and Ms. Palin is obvious."

Ehnt! Thanks for playing, George, but "he," being a subjective pronoun, cannot be the object of "between." And no — for you, we do not have lovely parting gifts in the back.

However, if you GOP guys want to keep slamming the famous killer from Alaska, we cats (not "us cats") are loving it.

UPDATE: We thank our gentle reader who pointed out the typing error in our third paragraph, which we have corrected. And we accept the George Will Dumbass Award in recognition of our carelessness.

Dumb Bunny

By Sniffles

In February, we cats heeded Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank's call and avoided writing about the famous killer from Alaska for the entire month. It was delightful, if we do say so ourselves. So delightful, in fact, that we didn't even rush back after the sabbatical ended. There were just so many other worthy subjects to comment upon, and besides, she made absolutely no legitimate news.

But that was only half of it. Now that her polls numbers are in the toilet, we cats wondered why we should ever write about her again. After all, how many other failed, out-of-office Governors get the kind of mindless, undeserved coverage Sarah Palin does? To our minds, it would be the equivalent of the media breathlessly chasing down those sorry non-success stories Jon Corzine or Gray Davis. (Of course, Corzine and Davis don't land on any male journalists' "MILF" lists, do they?)

Then, just as we were ready to drag all our Palin files to the trash, we saw multiple stories about the 2012 Republican Presidential race. It's wide open! Gallup reported. For the first time in years, there's no clear front runner.

This is pretty amazing, because students of American political history know that the Republicans are a very hierarchical party. In their Presidential races, they nominate the person whose "turn" it is — like Richard Nixon in 1960 and George H.W. Bush in 1988. Even in 1996, Bob Dole was the next guy in line, because he'd run with Gerald Ford in 1976 and because Bush Senior's Vice President, Dan Quayle, was such a joke.

That got us thinking. If John McCain had not chosen so poorly in 2008, his running mate would logically be blowing away the 2012 field right now. At the very least, it would be a two-person race — probably between her and Mitt Romney. But since Sarah Palin is such a moron, the GOP, Presidentially speaking, is an unholy mess.

We cats guess it would be proper for us to PURR in John McCain's direction for this unexpected gift of Republican disarray that he's foisted on us. But goodness gracious. It's at such a price. Pass the Tums, please.

(IMAGE: DC Comics)

Heading North

There's still the snap of winter where we cats are going, although we doubt it'll be quite this frozen. Nevertheless, we'll button up our overcoats. And post when we can.

UPDATE: Whoops, we take it back. Looks like there's going to be snow. Paws crossed that our plane still flies.

UPDATE 2: It did!

Rabbit Season, Duck Season, Liberal Season

By Zamboni

We cats are so sick of liberal losers screwing up. Latest case in point: NPR CEO Vivian Schiller, who has resigned in the wake of a stupid, stupid, stupid thing that her development guy did. (His name was Ron Schiller, but they're not related.) And since it's getting wall-to-wall coverage today, we probably don't need to explain our subject matter any further. Except to say that we hate Ron Schiller.

Yep, we cats are a little hissy about this today. Because not only was Ron Schiller a dumbass, he was apparently the worst fundraiser who ever lived. Was he right about the teabaggers being racist and xenophobic? Absolutely. Was he indiscreet to say so? Yes. But should he have even been talking to a fake donor? Not on your life.

See, back in the olden days when we cats worked in nonprofit development — and before that newfangled contraption called the Internet came along — we had to trudge through a foot of snow to the library to do our donor research. (Well, not really, but you get the idea.) We did our homework. Because we never would have gone into a meeting with a potential contributor without knowing who that contributor was and what that contributor would be interested in throwing money at. That Fundraising 101.

A quick Google search and Ron Schiller would have instantly discovered that James O'Keefe's alleged Muslim charity didn't exist. In fact, Ron Schiller's incompetence is so breathtaking that we cats wonder if it's even plausible. Was he in cahoots with O'Keefe? Is this an inside job? As NPR members, we cats are waiting for an explanation.

But whatever the backstory, we are just plain disgusted with all the continuing, rampant liberal naivete — whether it's ACORN's or NPR's or Planned Parenthood's. Folks, the other side has never and will never quit. Anne Frank was wrong. People are not good at heart, and this, fellow Democrats, is war.

UPDATE: By the way, we cats wonder why nobody is pointing out that posing as a fictional Muslim charity is a racist tactic. Just sayin'.

Tidbits and Cat Treats — Escape-Hatch Edition

By Baxter

Goodness gracious. We cats can't remember a better time to escape the insanity that passes for today's American political scene. Soon we'll be off on a short holiday to a place without teabaggers. (At least, so far.) But meanwhile, here are a few items worth mentioning.

Item the First: Has it been driving you as crazy as it's been driving us, that those lazy news people on TV have been referring — un-ironically — to Scott Walker's "budget repair bill" in Wisconsin? Fie on that. "Budget repair" is a Republican marketing term, and responsible journalists shouldn't use it. However, we take consolation in the fact that union supporters are starting to refer to it as "the Walker budget."

Item the Second: While we are mighty sick and tired of lefties getting sandbagged by that piece of you-know-what James O'Keefe, we do wonder why we should be shocked that anyone would equate teabaggery and racism. Teabaggers hold up racist signs at their rallies. They scream that a decisively elected black President, a native of Hawaii, is in office illegitimately because he was born in Kenya. They mock the President's background as a community organizer. They purposely call him "Osama." No doubt about it. They're racists.

Item the Third: So that shallow political journalist over at The Washington Post thinks that Sharron Angle is a proven fundraiser and will be a formidable presence in the Nevada Senate race now that best-friend-cuckolder John Ensign is toast. Hm. We cats think maybe not. It's one thing to collect millions of dollars from the aforementioned teabaggers when you're running against one of the biggest Democratic targets in the country. It'll be quite a different story if she enters a crowded Republican field for an open seat.

Item the Last: Defense Secretary Robert Gates is trying to put the kibosh on all that no-fly zone talk against Libya. It ain't as easy as it seems, apparently. "We... have to think about, frankly, the use of the U.S. military in another country in the Middle East," he told NPR. Well, gosh. We cats wonder how much less stretched our military would be today if we hadn't needlessly invaded Iraq on a Republican lie.

But... Teabaggers ARE Racists.

We'd show you more, but — ugh. They make us ill.

Memo to the GOP: Why Do You Hate Americans?

By Miss Kubelik

We cats still manage to be naive — which we consider a virtue, actually.  How else can you explain the fact that the following story shocked our all-American sensibilities?

"New Hampshire House Republicans are pushing for new laws that would prohibit many college students from voting in the state — and effectively keep some from voting at all," The Washington Post reports.

Why? Because young people tend to vote Democratic. Or, at least, "liberal." (Ooooh, that word.)

Excuse us, but we cats thought that the uber-patriots in the other party would be pro-democracy. Being pro-democracy means being in favor of lots of people voting in elections. But sad to say, the Republican Party, for all its flag waving, has a sorry-ass record of protecting voting rights. You could go all the way back to the outrages highlighted by the civil rights movement, but you don't have to. Just recall the purges of the voting rolls that Jeb Bush did in Florida in the run-up to the 2000 Presidential election — which he helped his brother (the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived) "win."

This recent attempt to disenfranchise young people is just the latest salvo in the GOP's war against anybody who doesn't agree with them. The only consolation is that, at this rate, the Republican Party will legislate and litigate itself out of existence.

Still, we cats HISS.

More Questions for the Hypocrite Huckabee

Q. Wasn't Nancy Davis pregnant when she married Ronald Reagan?

A. Yes. (Although you can't tell in this picture thanks to strategic wedding-cake placement.)

Q. Did you criticize Nancy Reagan the same way you criticized Natalie Portman? (Who, by the way, also will marry her baby's father.)

A. Yeah.... right.

Obama To The Rescue

By Sniffles

With unemployment down to two-year lows, and the U.S. auto industry saved, we cats just want to let the Republican Party know: Apologies are being accepted.

Trying to Out-Quayle Quayle?

By Zamboni

One of the things we cats most resent about Republicans is that they keep making us fight the same battles over and over and over. Whether it's environmentalism, civil rights, reproductive freedom, whatever — they keep trying to turn back the clock, and it drives us wild. This maddening habit of theirs also applies to the media/culture wars. Just take Fat Mike Huckabee's recent behavior as an example.

As if his right-wing code language about President Obama hasn't been revolting enough, now the pudgy preacher has gone after Oscar-winner Natalie Portman for getting pregnant out of wedlock. We cats guess it's one step up from Dan "Potatoe" Quayle ragging on Murphy Brown for her illegitimate child. At least Natalie Portman is a real person.

But we have several questions for the corpulent clergyman.

What business is it of yours?

Did you criticize Bristol Palin for this same offense?

Or do you only excoriate Jewish women for violating your personal standards of conduct?

Oh, and here's more: Is this really about 2012? Are you positioning yourself against the famous killer from Alaska, who obviously was a bad mother to that little slut? Or is this about the sanctity of marriage — say, Newt Gingrich and his 13 divorces?

We cats aren't holding our breaths for the massive minister's answers. But strangely, he's inspired us to comment on the 2011 Oscars for the first time. Congratulations, Ms. Portman — and please, pay no attention to these idiots.

Alito Hates Phelps

By Baxter

So, it's happened: The Supreme Court says that crazy homophobes have rights, too.

As you may recall from our previous posts, we cats aren't exactly surprised. We always thought that it would be better to go after the Westboro Baptist "Church's" tax exemption than to try to shut them up. This is America, after all — and an 8-zip Supreme Court decision is pretty decisive.

However, not being lawyers, we cats don't really understand why hatemongering is protected speech. Perhaps the folks over at the Southern Poverty Law Center can explain it to us? It must have something to do with whether the discourse in question incites violence or mayhem (bereaved military families, this might be your cue). But as repugnant as the Westboro scumbuckets are, we guess it's better to err on the side of freedom of expression. Surely many members of the high court struggled with this as well.

The silver lining? Since the Westboro terrorists have the poor judgment to target military families, Americans who wouldn't otherwise have heard of them (or who might not even care about gay rights) now can be informed and repulsed. For them, we cats suggest the tactics adopted by the clever gentleman pictured above. Sometimes, we really are proud of our country. 

Wouldn't It Be Loverly?

By Miss Kubelik

Here's the stuff dreams are made of: A recall of Wisconsin's repellent Republican Governor, Scott Walker.

It could happen. Check out this Public Policy Polling survey that shows the David Vitter lookalike losing popular opinion to the unions, 51 to 47. We cats additionally believe that Walker's overreaching has done more than any Democratic ad campaign possibly could to help Americans understand that Republicans are not, repeat, not, on the side of working people.

And that's not all. Already, online petitions are circulating to recall a GOP nitwit who took office only a few weeks ago.

So... Governor Walker? How's that bustin'-unions thing goin' for ya?

Dog Whistle to the Right

By Sniffles

Here we go again. How many times have we cats pointed out instances in which Republicans have said outrageous, untrue things to cater to their mad, bloodthirsty base — only to try to walk them back later when the nuts weren't looking?

Chalk up another one. This time, for Mike Huckabee, who twice said on radio yesterday that President Obama grew up "in Kenya."

Today, of course, the fat hypocrite's representatives said, whoops. Their boss had "misspoken." What a coward. What a craven, hate-mongering demagogue in Christian clothing.

Somebody in the media needs to do a "GOP walk-back of the day." Rachel Maddow, are you there?