Props

By Baxter

We don't care that teabag Congressman Mark Meadows has people of color in his family. (Strom Thurmond had an illegitimate child with a black woman, you know. Didn't make him any less of a bigot.) And racists always melt down when you accuse them of being racist.

So the first thing that popped into our furry heads when we saw Meadows parading Lynne Patton around at the House Oversight hearing yesterday was... a slave auction. Was it because Meadows forced her to stand there — passive, mute, on display? Was it because it was doubly demeaning that Patton is a woman? Would we have been less troubled if the person Meadows treated as an object had been a man?

The answer is no. Whatever nieces and nephews Meadows may point to, however indignant he might be at being appropriately called out by Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib, Meadows is still the man who campaigned on sending Barack Obama "back to Kenya" to the roars of the teabagger crowd. And his Republican Party is still willfully defiant and ignorant on the subject of race, which — if America is to ever grapple with it — requires open-mindedness, empathy and sensitivity.

Oh, and by the way, Lynne Patton is completely and utterly unqualified for that position she holds at HUD. We cats HISS.

Maybe You Shouldn't Be In The Country: GOP Puts Benedict Donald First

By Miss Kubelik

We cats are on sensory overload. Michael Cohen packed so many Trump outrages into his House Oversight Committee testimony today that our furry heads are spinning. We don't know what to seize on first. So we'll talk about the behavior of committee Republicans instead.

Goodness gracious, how the GOP has scraped the bottom of the candidate-recruitment barrel! If Carol Miller, that pathetic woman from West Virginia, is any indication, our Republican Congresswoman Elise Stefanik — who made it her crusade to recruit GOP women to run — should hang her head in shame.

But there were plenty of embarrassments all around. Gym Jordan, Clay Higgins, Jody Hice, Mark Meadows — oh, especially Mark Meadows, who paraded a black female HUD employee like she was on the block at a slave auction — and whoever was responsible for that "Liar Liar Pants on Fire" sign gave Miller plenty of competition.

Then we heard young whipper-snapper talking heads on MSNBC asking if today was like Watergate. Since we cats have nine lives and were definitely around during that consequential summer of 1973, we were flashing on John Dean's testimony quite a bit. But not because Cohen is the new Dean. We were remembering how umbrage-y and offended the Republicans were on both the Senate Select Committee and, the following summer, on the House Judiciary Committee. They were indignant in much the same way Oversight Republicans were today.

In particular, we recall a California Congressman named Charles Wiggins, who was one of Richard Nixon's biggest (and most obnoxious) defenders. At least, he was — until the smoking gun tape came out. After that, Wiggins held an emotional news conference in which he tearfully announced he would vote for impeachment.

Here's the difference between then and now: We can't picture Jordan, Higgins, Hice, Meadows or any of the other teabag clowns following Charles Wiggins's example and admitting they were wrong. And that is not good for our American democracy. We cats HISS.

Everybody Haetz Gaetz

By Zamboni

Did you know that you can submit a request to the Office of Congressional Ethics to have them kick Republican Congressman Matt Gaetz in his fat rear end? It's true! If you're as appalled as we cats are that the little Gaetz turdball thinks he can engage in witness tampering without consequence, just fill out this form.

If Congressional Republicans' behavior to date is any indication, ordinary citizens may very well have to step up to the plate here. Both the GOP leadership and the rank and file wear such blinders when it comes to Trumpy behavior that you wonder if anything will get a rise out of them. House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy is particularly adept at deflecting questions with the "Gee, I haven't seen what you're talking about" defense. He'll keep doing it as long as he can — but today's Gaetz outrage may have reached straw-and-camel's-back proportions.

Yep, Gaetz's clumsy tweet about Michael Cohen is rapidly heading into firestorm territory, we think. Violating the US Code, Title 18, Crimes & Criminal Procedures §1512, will do that. We're not sure what the next step is, but it would only be right for Gaetz to be censured, kicked off his committees, expelled from Congress, and hauled off to the hoosegow. They can hold a new election in Joe Scarborough's old district and find somebody to represent them who won't break the law.

Finally, a note to all those Trumpsters who are calling Cohen a liar: Big woo. Michael Cohen will not lie tomorrow. If he does, he loses his fabulous plea deal. So take it from us, he'll tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but. We cats PURR.

Ebenezer Trump

By Sniffles

Before he took off for Vietnam today, President Bone Spurs decided to tweet rudely about a former US Senator who is entering the final stages of his battle with pancreatic cancer. True to form, the tweet was childish and laden with lies. We're sure that Harry Reid, the Fightin' Mormon, just brushed it off with a roll of his remaining good eye.

But Trump's inability to resist attacking a man with a life-limiting illness is just so par for the course. And his minions are no better: Remember when the team at FOX "News" "accidentally" reported that Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg had died? RBG happens to be doing a Jimmy Carter on her cancer at the moment, but the wingnuts, salivating at the thought of another SCOTUS seat, couldn't help themselves.

Trump's misanthropy may be the worst the Oval Office has ever seen. We don't know what darkness lurked in the hearts of the Presidents before him (most of them are dead). But we're confident that it will catch up with him when he encounters the dying of the light.

That's because we still believe that you get what you dish out. So unlike the outpourings of sympathy we've seen for Harry Reid, we can't exactly picture a nation prostrate at the thought of an imminent Trump demise. It's also hard to imagine anyone other than his gangster family — those who aren't in prison, at least — holding vigil at his bedside.

"Why wasn't he more natural in his lifetime?" Mrs. Dilber asked of Ebenezer Scrooge. "If he had been, he'd have had somebody to look after him when he was struck with Death, instead of lying gasping out his last there, alone." We cats HISS.

Forever Singin'

This is not an entertainment blog, but we cats are happy to recognize excellence in any field. With the passing of Stanley Donen this week, we're reminded that if he had only done this one film, it would have been enough. How lucky we are that there were more. And we PURR.

Tarheeled And Feathered

By Hubie and Bertie

Wow! Those North Carolina Republicans sure have had the air taken out of their balloons, haven't they?

Not that we're feeling sympathetic. In fact, there's a ton of schadenfreude involved when you watch a particularly disgusting state GOP having to backtrack on an election-fraud-tainted Congressional race when their national party has been spending all their time getting blue in the face about election fraud by Democrats that didn't exist.

In true Trumpian fashion, Republicans are themselves guilty of everything they accuse us of. Especially in North Carolina, where GOP efforts to suppress the vote are only surpassed by the self-righteousness of the faux-Christian "pastor" Mark Harris who, after coming perilously close to perjuring himself, threw in the towel yesterday and supported a new election in NC-09.

Pretty funny when you consider how Harris and the state Republican Party were filled with umbrage and insistent that Harris be seated in Congress even though the election was questioned. "The people of the ninth district are tired of waiting and should not have to wait any longer," huffed Dallas Woodhouse, state party executive director. “If [the State Board of Elections] can state with certainty that whatever bad behavior that took place could not have changed the race, then they should certify Mr. Harris."

And in January, Harris himself indignantly demanded to be certified and seated when the new Congress was sworn in. Sadly for him, the new Democratic majority bitch-slapped him back. "In this instance, the integrity of our democratic process outweighs concerns about the seat being vacant at the start of the new Congress," said Majority Leader Steny Hoyer.

That decision is looking mighty solid today, isn't it? Will Democrats take a victory lap? They probably won't — but they should, so we cats take it for them. And we PURR.

Read more here: https://www.charlotteobserver.com/news/politics-government/election/article223202995.html#storylink=cpy

(IMAGE: Mark Harris, realizing during his son's testimony to the State Board of Elections that his political career is toast.)

Atonement

By Baxter

Astounded that it is actually possible for Benedict Donald and Moose & Squirrel to host an applauding group in the East Room for Black History Month, we cats reply with this photo of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau visiting the Black Cultural Center in Halifax, Nova Scotia.

While on the trip, Trudeau took the opportunity to apologize to a group of Nova Scotians who had recently been racially profiled by security guards on Parliament Hill.

Say you're sorry? Now that's something a Trumpster would never do. Unless, of course, you're Roger Stone and you're scared Judge Amy Jackson Berman will throw you in jail. We cats PURR.

The Not-So-Quiet Man

By Miss Kubelik

We cats have nine lives, so we've been around long enough to remember when Marion Morrison was alive and at large. "Who?" you might ask. Sorry — of course we mean John Wayne.

And since Wayne has been gone for 40 years, we sure were surprised when we saw him trending on Twitter yesterday. What didn't surprise us was why: an old magazine interview in which he shot off his mouth about some mightily offensive things.

Thus begins another episode in the long, long saga of trying to come to grips with the fact that a performing artist you admire is a horrible person. Welcome aboard, all you newbies!

Classic Hollywood had plenty of right wingers: Adolph Menjou, whose politics lived up to his first name. George Murphy, later a Republican US Senator. James Stewart, one of the Vietnam War's biggest supporters. Charlton Heston, who flipped from being a fan of Martin Luther King to loving the guns that killed him. And Bob Hope, OMG.

So yes, John Wayne was a total pig — a venomous McCarthyite, a Nixon lover, and a hater of almost everybody else. But we still saw "True Grit" a dozen times. The last scene of "The Searchers," with his haunting tribute to Harry Carey, never fails to choke us up. We love "They Were Expendable," even though we know Wayne fought World War II on a sound stage and not in the Pacific. (And even though co-star Robert Montgomery, whom we adore, was far-right too. On the other hand, at least Montgomery served.)

Maybe it helps that these guys are all dead? Does it mean that someday we'll feel all warm and squishy about James Woods? We doubt it. Unlike Woods, those we've mentioned all have respectable bodies of work. We can admire the art if not the artists. We cats PURR.

Um, No.

By Zamboni

We cats are clearing our calendars for Thursday at 2:30 PM, when Judge Amy Berman Jackson will haul the odious Roger Stone back into court for being a bad puddy tat.

Not to diminish the seriousness of Stone's latest crime: posting a photo of the judge next to a crosshairs symbol and accusing her of running a Deep-State show trial. Surely right now some Trumpster nut is polishing his guns in blind obedience to Stone's suggestion. We wish Judge Jackson well and urge her to be aware of her surroundings.

People like Stone, who not only believe that they're above rightful consequences that everyone else in the world suffers, are infuriating enough. But when they don't care about the havoc their words might wreak, it's even worse. Remember the dude who mailed explosives to President Obama, Hillary Clinton and other prominent critics of Trump? That only happened back in October, but everyone seems to have forgotten about it now.

Today's latest outrage is a nonsensical editorial written by the publisher of the ironically named Linden, Alabama, newspaper, The Democrat-Reporter. Read the full editorial here and see if you can make heads or tails of it. But as silly as it is, it still calls for the KKK to saddle up and string up a few folks. Some MAGA nutcase will take heed, and someone's going to get hurt.

At least the Alabama Press Association has voted to censure the fool who wrote the damn thing. But this kind of stuff makes us sick. We'd suggest that Alabama consider seceding from the union again, but then, that would cost us a Democratic Senator, wouldn't it? Maybe there's hope for the Yellowhammer State after all. We cats will HISS instead.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Fake Emergency, Day 3

By Zamboni

We cats are busy digging our bomb shelter and stocking up on MREs for the emergency, but we have a few quick observations on the day:

We're so proud that our state, New York, is among the 16 that are suing Benedict Donald over his phony declaration. Even prouder that our former state, the Commonwealth of Virginia, is suing, too. Don't ever think that it doesn't matter who your state Attorney General is.

Were we the only ones who noticed the artful use of the passive tense in the first sentence of Roger Stone's apology to Judge Amy Berman Jackson? While he may realize that threatening the judge could get him hauled off to the hoosegow, his weenie "should not have been posted" mea culpa was no mea culpa at all. Haul him off and gag him, Judge.

Finally, we did not watch Andrew McCabe's "60 Minutes" interview, but we understand that Scott Pelley asked McCabe how he felt about Trump calling his wife a loser. Here's what McCabe should have said:

"Well, Scott, it was painful. But the pain I felt is, I'm sure, nothing compared to the pain the First Lady feels hundreds of times every day, when the subject of her husband's serial adultery and serial payoffs to mistresses comes up for public discussion — and when 'Mar-A-Lardass' trends on Twitter." We cats PURR.

Emergency, Emergency!

By Sniffles

Oh, no! We're in a national emergency! Quick, here are all the things we have to do:

• Ration gas (you all know what an "A" card is, right?)
• Ration tires — gotta save that rubber for our valiant folks in ICE
• Ration meat, bacon, butter, sugar, eggs and coffee (ooh, that last one hurts)
• Start scrap drives — the Boy and Girl Scouts would be good at that, especially since Girl Scout cookies will have to go on hiatus (no sugar)
• Save your cooking grease
• Give up nylon stockings (whoops, never mind — a lot of women already have)
• Make those 2019 clothes last another year or two
• Plant a "Victory at the Border" garden
• Buy "National Emergency Bonds"

Wait, what? We don't have to scrimp and save and pinch and buy? The emergency's not real?

Of course it isn't. After declaring it, Benedict Donald flew down to Palm Beach for the long weekend. Here he is at his golf club's omelet bar this morning. To be fair, he does look a little worried — that the chef won't cook his omelet right, that is. We cats HISS.

Ne'er Do Weld

By Hubie and Bertie

Former Massachusetts Governor William Weld says he's planning to challenge Donald Trump in the 2020 GOP primaries. And there's absolutely no doubt that that other former Massachusetts Governor's niece, Ronna ROMNEY McDaniel, and the Republican National Committee will do everything they can to stymie Weld's run.

The GOP has already started rigging its primary process to shut out any resistance to Trump. They're in faithful obedience to their autocrat-in-chief, which is a pretty scary thing (autocrats, like Vladimir Putin, like to win with 99% of the vote). And of course Trump just reinforced his autocratic rep today by declaring his Fake National Emergency.

But we're rooting for Weld anyway. He could have some interesting effects on the race.

• In states that have open primaries — like Iowa, New Hampshire and Wisconsin — he may offer a refuge for so-called moderate Republicans, and help keep them from voting (and causing mischief) in the Democratic caucus or primary.
• He could keep some never-Trumpers in the GOP from jumping on the Coffee Man's spoiler-of-the-century campaign.
• He could further split the never-Trumper vote and make it harder for someone like John Kasich, Ben Sasse or Larry Hogan to gain traction.
• Since the Trumpsters will go pedal-to-the-metal to destroy Weld and keep him off state ballots, they'll hand the Democrats some interesting messaging opportunities. Something along the lines of: "Now the GOP's suppressing this 73-year-old white man's vote" — you get the idea.

Just one question before we tuck into our Friday afternoon nap: If Coffee Man got a town hall on CNN, does that mean Weld gets one? Maybe not — Coffee Man's show bombed. We cats PURR.

ER Time

By Baxter

What's worse than having Donald Trump declare a fake national emergency? Looking at Twitter and seeing "Democrat President" trending. Repeat after us: DEMOCRAT IS A NOUN, NOT AN ADJECTIVE.

But never mind — this is no time to get all worked up over Republican hate speech creeping into the language. Not when Trump and the GOP are setting a dangerous precedent on national emergencies. (A lot of folks in the GOP agree with that, by the way.)

Just think, as all those tweeps are speculating, about what the next Democrat in the Oval Office could do. President Kamala Harris, no doubt, would immediately declare an emergency on climate change. (And she'd be right.) And on this one-year anniversary of the Parkland school massacre, gun violence is another obvious crisis.

By why stop there? Here are a few more emergencies we cats would like to see declared:

Women's reproductive freedoms are in grave danger. Roe is hanging by a thread, and there's — what? — one abortion clinic in all of Mississippi?

A BBC cameraman was attacked at the Trump hatefest in El Paso and everybody's treating it like business as usual.

Measles is back. Thanks, stupid anti-vaxxers.

Worst of all, millions of cats and kittens are looking for furr-ever homes. Most don't make it. We cats know how lucky we are, and we PURR.

State Of The Race

By Miss Kubelik

Joe Biden hasn't had a terrific last few weeks — at least, he hasn't if he's employing a wait-and-see-when-they-implode strategy, so he could step in and rescue the Democratic Party from a too-big field of newbies and stumblers. If so, he guessed kinda wrong.

Beto O'Rourke's triumphant rally last night in El Paso reminded us of this. After outdrawing Benedict Donald's hatefest that was held across the street, Beto is getting renewed calls to throw his hat in the ring for 2020. (For what it's worth, we cats hope he throws that hat into a Texas ring next year — for John Cornyn's Senate seat.)

But whatever — Beto's shown that he's still a hot property. Good on him. We wish him well.

Then there's Elizabeth Warren. She's not our first choice for President, but she had a good rollout, with a successful trip to Iowa and, lately, a pretty nifty quip about Trump getting hauled off to the hoosegow. Maybe she can hold her own against the lying sociopath after all.

In spite of all those "She's mean to her staff" stories, Amy Klobuchar had a winter-wonderland announcement in Minnesota, and we're wondering how she managed to keep her hair looking so cute in the snow.

Kamala Harris's campaign kickoff was cheered by more than 20,000 people in Oakland, and she raised a ton of money right out of the gate. Cory Booker released a great launch video. (And he's on Rachel Maddow's show tonight. Definitely watching.)

Yep, just about every Democrat except Kirsten Gillibrand (that ridiculous chicken-with-a-fork story) and Tulsi Gabbard — just 13 people showed up for an event in Des Moines — has jumped into the race with excitement. (Kirsten can recover. Gabbard doesn't deserve to.)

So we're feeling pretty good about how our crop of 2020 candidates is doing. Biden may have missed the boat again, but that's okay — we'll need him to mend fences with our allies as Secretary of State, the same way President Obama needed Hillary. We cats PURR.

Frank Rich Didn't Have Anything Better To Tweet About Today

By Zamboni

We cats are a little bit tired of people trashing our United States Senator, Kirsten Gillibrand. Sure, she's not our top choice for 2020 (Kamala Harris is), but we're proud to say that Kirsten represents us in Washington.

Usually, it's Al Franken fans who go after her on social media, but this weekend it's Frank Rich, who has annoyed us with a tweet about Senator Gillibrand asking how to eat chicken in Iowa. Apparently, trying to figure out if one should use a knife and fork at a campaign event is the epitome of craven opportunism.

You know what, Frank? Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Maybe she just didn't want to get chicken grease on her hands or her clothes. (Maybe she wanted to avoid a terrible photo. Remember Michele Bachmann!) And if it's the utensils that offend, Frank, please recall that both Donald Trump and Bill de Blasio eat pizza with a knife and fork.

But if Frank is going to insist on using the Great Chicken Conundrum to decry Gillibrand's metamorphosis from an A-rated NRA candidate to the fabulous lefty she is today, we cats yawn in his face.

If we didn't allow politicians to evolve, Jim Jeffords and Arlen Specter would have died Republicans. Dick Shelby and Jeff Sessions would still be Democrats. Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton would be disagreeing with Obergefell v. Hodges. And Robert Byrd would still be in the Klan. Get with it, Frank. We cats HISS.

Tree 1, Wall 0

By Sniffles

You might not be able to make out everything on this sign, but from the letters in red you can tell that it was made by a Trumpster who wants to "Build The Wall." That is, if you're really good at reading upside-down.

How the sign ended up in this tree is a tale to tell. We'll refrain from publishing the details to protect the not-so-innocent — but obviously someone on this street didn't appreciate a right-wing neighborhood eyesore. Or the person was outraged that a wall could bulldoze historic churches and butterfly sanctuaries down in Texas, or furious that kids are being ripped from their parents for the heinous "crime" of seeking asylum in the US. Or all of the above.

It's amazing not just that Trumpsters hate people of color, but that they think a wall is going to solve anything. We all know that illegal immigration mostly takes place at ports of entry and via overstayed visas. So at this point, the wall is more ephemeral than it ever was: It started out as a rallying cry to stir up working-class whites at Trump rallies, but now personifies the most egregious gullibility of American voters who just can't bring themselves to admit they were wrong.

If our schedule allowed (we have a lot of playing, napping and grooming to do), we'd fly down to El Paso and join Beto O'Rourke at tomorrow's counter-rally to Trump. But we urge any humans who can to get down there now. The truth deserves to be marched for. We cats PURR.

From Blackface To Blackmail

By Hubie and Bertie

When 9/11 happened, we cats decided that the only person in America who was happy about it was Congressman Gary Condit. It forced his scandal about the murdered Chandra Levy off the front page.

Now, everybody who's ever had anything to do with blackface-in-yearbooks must be mighty relieved that Jeff Bezos has just blown up the National Enquirer. (Except, of course, for Justin Fairfax. We cats may have jumped the gun in our assessment of Fairfax's ability to take the reins in Virginia.)

Well, anyway: What's a blogger to do, when faced with such competing, screaming headlines? Go with the blackface, or the blackmail? Or go with SCOTUS blocking the Louisiana abortion law, and Brett Kavanaugh's clear signal that he intends to be the Destroyer of Roe? Or, should we go with the other SCOTUS decision, disallowing a death row inmate's final request for an imam to counsel him at his death? Jeez, the news is either head-spinning (Roberts sides with Court liberals) or depressing (religious freedom means nothing in America).

We'll go out on a limb and predict that the Bezos/National Enquirer story will be the biggest bombshell of them all. So much so that we're already casting actors to play Bezos in the Trump-Russia-Saudi movie (Stanley Tucci has the inside track).

In the meantime, we salute former Congressman John Dingell, who crossed the Rainbow Bridge yesterday and who penned an interesting note to America before he left. Best lines: "In democratic government, elected officials do not have power. They hold power — in trust for the people who elected them. If they misuse or abuse that public trust, it is quite properly revoked (the quicker the better)."

Pretty swell— although not quite as great as Jack Layton's farewell to Canadians in 2011. (But Jack raised the bar pretty high.) What we'll really miss are Dingell's hilarious tweets. Godspeed, Twitter ninja Dingell, and may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest. We cats PURR.

Say A Little Prayer?

By Baxter

The National Prayer Breakfast should not be a thing. Our government is built on the separation of church and state, and not all Americans pray. But this post is actually about reproductive, not religious, freedom.

We cats just find it amazing that evangelicals love Donald Trump so much. And it's disturbing that they're so bent on controlling women — and getting judges appointed who will do that — that they'll ignore the massive foibles of someone who has lived his life as the foulest of libertines.

Do they really think that Donald Trump has never paid for an abortion in his life? It's time for any woman who has consented to a "Trump termination" — with a nifty payoff, no doubt — to come forward and 'fess up. Sure, she's probably got an NDA, but if Trump were to sue over its breach, he'd have to produce a copy. Can't see him doing that. And maybe a Trump-disliking billionaire would agree to foot the woman's legal bills. (Tom Steyer? George Soros? Hey, maybe Coffee Man!)

Well, that's a story we can only (ha, ha) pray to see someday. In the meantime, here's the bottom line about evangelical attacks on a woman's right to choose. Governor Andrew Cuomo said it best in an op-ed yesterday:

"While governments may very well enact laws that are consistent with religious teaching, governments do not pass laws to be consistent with what any particular religion dictates. Thanks to the nation's founders, no elected official is empowered to make personal religious beliefs the law of the land." We cats PURR.

True Confessions

Since Virginia Attorney General Mark Herring has stepped forward with his own blackface faux pas, we cats might as well admit it: We once went to an All Saints' Day costume party dressed as Richard Nixon's mother. (PHOTO NOT FROM PARTY.)

Making The Grade?

By Miss Kubelik

We cats aren't going to join in on the SOTU shenanigans tonight — although we're hoping to catch Stacey Abrams giving the Democratic response live, if possible. Otherwise, we're going to treat it like the Oscars: Why sit through it in real time when you can catch the highlights (or in Trump's case, lowlights) in just three minutes afterward?

Ah, the Interwebs. Such a wonderful buffer.

So instead today, we're turning our attention to LGBT rights. Did you know that the Human Rights Campaign has released its latest State Equality Index? It ranks individual US states and their accomplishments vis-a-vis LGBT issues in their parenting, hate crimes, criminal justice, non-discrimination and other laws. We're proud to say that New York is doing pretty well. North Carolina, not so much.

Why are we picking on North Carolina? Only because it's home to so many big corporations: Wells Fargo, Bank of America, Lowe's, Harris Teeter and Martin Marietta come to mind. Plus American Airlines, which has a huge hub in Charlotte. And the state is famous for its passel of top-flight universities. Surely all of them want to lure high-performing employees to build their careers and raise their families there.

But what ambitious, go-get-'em millennial is going to want to move to North Carolina if he/she is LGBT or has friends and loved ones who are?

Do better, North Carolina. For that matter, do better, Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia (!), West Virginia and Wyoming. We cats HISS.

Note To GOP: Be Careful What You Wish For

By Zamboni

We cats admit it: We have no idea what's going to happen in Richmond over the next few days or weeks. But we caution Republicans not to celebrate too much if Governor Ralph Northam and Lt. Governor Justin Fairfax both end up being toast.

That's because Mark Herring is Virginia's Attorney General. He's the next runner-up.

See, this is one of the advantages of Democrats having swept the top three jobs in the Commonwealth. Right wingers may be grinning like Cheshire cats over the potential demise of Northam and Fairfax. But then they'd be stuck with the gay-rights guy, wouldn't they?

Yep, Herring made a name for himself by refusing to defend Virginia's then-ban against marriage equality. Thank goodness, times have changed now. But he sure riled up the nutjobs and the haters in the meantime. (See above: Stupid sign that we tore down and trashed in Prince William County a few years back.)

We hope that Justin Fairfax survives because this whole kerfuffle that's sprung up around him sounds pretty thin. But on the chance that he doesn't, let's just say that we wouldn't mind a Governor Herring one bit. We cats PURR.

The Bowl Wasn't So Super, But This Washington Post Ad Was Pretty Good

It kind of makes you wonder whether President Bone Spurs would be willing to put his life on the line like these three journalists did. Heck, he can't even get out of bed before 11 AM. We cats HISS.

Not Funny, Not Ever

By Sniffles

We cats are shocked and astounded, on so many levels, at Ralph Northam. We have to reluctantly conclude that Northam should step aside and make way for Lt. Governor Justin Fairfax, who is highly qualified — and history-making — in every way. (Virginia Democrats, at least, can be proud to avoid the "Pence Pause" — which is when the solution is worse than the original problem.)

We could get into the hypocrisy of the Old Dominion GOP, the white supremacist they nominated for Senate in 2018, and the racist campaign that Chinless Ed Gillespie ran for Governor in 2017. But we won't. We also will refrain from asking why in the hell medical schools have yearbooks. (Yearbooks? Like high school kids? Aren't they too busy studying to be doctors for that crap?)

Instead, we'll just focus on our disappointment in Ralph, even though we totally believe him when he says his 1984 antics don't reflect the man he is today. Delegate Danica Roem is right when she says that Northam has opened wounds in Virginia that can't be healed any other way.

So that's our story, and we're sticking to it. We've taken pains to educate ourselves on the offenses of minstrelsy, which has been presented as benign entertainment in the past and which we've all had to realize is just not cool (looking at you, Al Jolson, Mickey Rooney, Judy Garland and Fred Astaire).

But that white hood has never stood for anything but murder, rape, mutilation, lynching and terror. Even when the Coen brothers and Spike Lee put the Klan in their comedies, they made it menacing — which it is. Sorry, Ralph. The KKK is never funny. We cats HISS.

State Of The Lyin'

By Hubie and Bertie

Wow, another State of the Union coming up. We cats won't be watching (we can't stomach Benedict Donald), but we're curious as to how the Speaker of the House will handle sitting behind him.

Will she signal her caucus — perhaps with a white handkerchief to her forehead, a la "Darkest Hour" — whenever Trump lies? If so, that hanky will be fluttering without pause.

It almost makes us nostalgic for SOTUs of years past.

Take, for example, George W. Bush (who once held the title of The Worst Person Who's Ever Lived, before being toppled by Trump) — and that whopper he told about Saddam Hussein, Niger and yellowcake. That was debunked pretty quickly by Joseph Wilson in The New York Times. And what was the Administration's response? They outed Wilson's wife, Valerie Plame, as a CIA agent.

How quaint it all seems now. Because while Bush may have told one big lie in that SOTU, Trump's speech on Tuesday will be so jam-packed with falsehoods it will beggar description. But what concerns us most is that not just that we're becoming inured to fibs by Commanders-in-Chief — but that the Bush-Cheney crowd will be getting a pass by comparison.

That, folks, can never happen. This Trump Administration is the stuff of nightmares, but that doesn't make the crimes of the Bushies any less awful. They should all rot in hell, and we cats HISS.

(IMAGE: SOTU, 2003. Check it out: Two war criminals and a child molester. Just sayin'.)