Tidbits And Cat Treats: Impeachment Vote Edition

By Sniffles

Happy Halloween! We decided to go "cute" with our image selection this year — the world is scary enough as it is. Here are a few thoughts on the doings on Capitol Hill today.

Talking heads are making way too much of the House's near-party-line vote. If there are any GOP members who are privately considering breaking with the Trumpsters — and we think there are — they didn't need to do it today, because the vote was a procedural maneuver only. Better for nervous Republican nellies to keep their powder dry until The Real Vote.

Besides, many, many more revelations can and surely will occur between now and then. Dramatic public testimony will take place. More details will come to light. You never know — Trump could have done something even more horrendous that we have no idea about right now. And while that's hard to flat-out predict, let's just say that knowing Benedict Donald, we have supreme confidence in his awfulness.

It doesn't matter a bit if the impeachment process butts up against the Democratic primaries. It needs to take as long as it needs to. As for Senators having to leave the campaign trail? Have we never heard of surrogates? Not to mention that since all eyes will be on the trial, it could afford struggling candidates like Harris, Booker and, to a slightly lesser extent, Klobuchar to grab some much-needed limelight.

Finally, don't forget that next week we have another Election Day. It's off-year, yes, but some consequential races are being decided. If there's a Republican wipeout in Virginia, which is possible, and/or if Matt Bevin gets his butt handed to him in Kentucky, the GOP nervous nellies will get even more restive — worried that their heads will be next on the block. They may decide that Trump is too heavy a burden to bear.

Many outside forces will be buffeting the impeachment process, and both sides should be wary. But Donald Trump has a lot more to be scared of this Halloween than Nancy Pelosi does. We cats PURR.

Burning Memories

By Hubie and Bertie

When Jimmy Carter was President, he installed solar panels on the roof of the White House. In January 1981, when Ronald and Mommy Reagan moved in, they ripped the solar panels out.

It's a handy snapshot of Reagan's status as the first Republican President to turn his party away from its traditional commitment to environmental protection. (Don't forget that the EPA was created in the Nixon Administration. Strange to remember now, but true!)

So it's supremely satisfying today to see that the Ronnie and Mommy Library is under siege from a wildfire that just sprang up in Simi Valley. Because we all know that California would not be burning as much if it weren't for climate change.

Area residents seem to think their homes will be safe because firefighters will do everything they can to protect the library. We wish those homeowners well — but as for Ronnie and Mommy? Let them burn. We cats HISS.

Yeah, Totally Lock Him Up

By Miss Kubelik

Benedict Donald, mobster that he is (and who we're sure has had people killed before), must have swaggered off to that baseball game last night thinking he'd be greeted like a hero for knocking off al-Baghdadi.

Never mind that it was our special forces who executed the raid, that Trump's screw-up of Syria made the operation more difficult, and that al-Baghdadi blew himself up before anyone could get to him. It's a slam-dunk that Mr. Fragile Ego was preening, champing at the bit for the adulation of the crowd to wash over him (and Moose & Squirrel — but not his 13-year-old son, who somehow didn't merit the once-in-a-lifetime experience of a World Series game).

Instead, Trump was greeted with boos and chants of "Lock him up!" Plus this banner (above) flying over right field. Look closely. Delicious.

And yet the inside-the-Beltway talking heads were tut-tutting about the boos and chants this morning. Like we cats needed a reminder of how much they despise Hillary Clinton.

We have a message for the punditheads: Trump threatened Clinton with jail — to her face — in one of their 2016 Presidential debates. Hillary Clinton is a former Secretary of State, former US Senator and former First Lady. So don't get all weepy about a President (who calls you "the enemy of the people," by the way) having to hear a few hostile boos from a non-curated crowd. You haven't learned a thing, talking heads, and we cats dump our dirty litter boxes in your underwear drawers.

Nous Nous Souvenons

By Zamboni

Twenty-four years ago today, more than 100,000 people flocked to Montreal for a huge demonstration in support of Canadian unity. Speaker after speaker entreated Quebec to reject sovereignty. Three days later, provincial voters decided to stay — by just over a single percentage point.

Separation has traditionally waxed and waned in Quebec, but there was something about 1995 that seemed to take the steam out of it for a long while. Maybe it was the ugly post-referendum comment by Parti Quebecois leader Jacques Parizeau, blaming "money and ethnic votes," that drove people away from both the man and his cause. (More proof that our mothers were right: If you haven't got something nice to say, don't say anything at all.)

Weirdly, today it's not Quebeckers agitating for separation after last Monday's election: It's Western Canada. Nearly all the seats in Alberta and Saskatchewan went for the Conservatives, even though Justin Trudeau approved that damn Trans Mountain pipeline (which got him in a lot of trouble with environmentalists). And those Tory voters still aren't satisfied.

"Last night’s election results showed the sense of frustration and alienation in Saskatchewan is now greater than it has been at any point in my lifetime," said the province's Tory premier. T-shirts with "Republic of Western Canada" on them have popped up online.

It's oddly reassuring to know that a country with only 10 provinces and territories has just as hard a time with e pluribus unum as a nation with 50 states. But we urge the Conservatives in Alberta and Saskatchewan to get a grip and dial back the divisive remarks. Remember what rancorous resentment did to Jacques Parizeau. We cats HISS.

When The Party Of Lincoln Sputters And Dies

By Baxter

We cats got a preview of the wreckage the GOP will leave behind when it ceases to exist after Trump.

Jennifer Rubin, our current Republican friend who we're sure will go back to not being our friend once Benedict Donald has faded from the scene (see: Wallace, Nicolle; Navarro, Ana; Frum, David; Wilson, Rick), has provided a succinct overview of polling that spells a pretty effective end to the Party of Lincoln as we know it. The ideological cracks showing in the GOP's facade will reach a breaking point — in the next year, due to impeachment and the election — and all because of the mobster the party was cowed into nominating in 2016.

For the breakdown of the numbers, click here. But here's a summary, plus a prediction:

"Trump...is hugely dependent on the overwhelming support of white evangelicals...[which] makes evangelicals out of step with the majority of Americans on everything from immigration to climate change to impeachment to beliefs about gender and race...Their burning resentment toward 'elites' masks a more fundamental alienation from a majority of all Americans.

"Trump and the GOP's hyper-dependence on white evangelicals is an electoral problem, given the declining number of white evangelicals who are aging and seeing a significant drop-off among millennials. Each election, it becomes harder to win outside deep-red environs.

"In sum, we may be 'two Americas,' but they are not equal. Trump and Republicans' segment is smaller than the rest, and is shrinking over time..."

Add to this the drama that's sure to come over the next calendar year, and we think America will witness the break-up of one of its major political parties.

The GOP will split into the Know-Nothings — white evangelicals who, as noted above, are the only Trump-can-do-no-wrong voters in America — and the Whigs, a faction that will be made up of foreign-policy Republicans, Bush Republicans, pro-choice Republicans, and non-hater Republicans. Hey, they're out there — there just aren't a lot of them.

You read it here first. In the meantime, for all the angst that the media are trying to gin up about our 2020 Presidential field, we cats are sanguine about our primary process, and we PURR.

(IMAGE: Adam Zyglis)

"That's The Press, Baby"

By Sniffles

"This is deadly serious. This is Mussolini," said Barry McCaffrey.

The retired general and former joint commander for Latin America was reacting to Benedict Donald's edict that all federal agencies should cancel their subscriptions to The Washington Post and The New York Times. Talking heads have generally either just tut-tutted or made jokes about it, but we cats agree with McCaffrey: This is the President telling people what they can and cannot read.

So we're hoping that leaders across the departments and agencies manage to slow-walk their responses to this hissy-fit command. In the meantime, we have a suggestion for the newspapers in question: Beef up your coverage of the federal government.

Back in their financial heyday, newspapers from around the country assigned reporters to their Washington bureaus, with highly specific beats. Leading papers from dairy and farm states would cover the Department of Agriculture, for example, and those from mining states would be stationed at Interior. Detroit papers, covering the auto industry, wouldn't miss a briefing at Commerce or Labor. And so on.

Times have changed, and too many newspapers can no longer afford all this. But the digitally successful (not "failing") New York Times, and the Post, backed by the billionaire Bezos, surely can.

When faced with autocrats, newspapers have to punch back. Aggressive journalism is the best revenge. We cats PURR.

IMAGE: Humphrey Bogart in "Deadline USA," in which the resourceful editor of a soon-to-be-shuttered paper brings down a gangster. Good viewing in the Benedict Donald era.

Quick Question

So if Benedict Donald and his spawn are sure they're going to win the 2020 election, why is the DC Trump hotel on the block? Oh, and by the way, an American hero's funeral was today. We cats PURR.

Deer In The Headlines.

Gee, guys with guns are so sensitive. Have you heard about the deer that gored its hunter assassin to death in Arkansas? Well, we cats made one puckish comment on Twitter about rooting for the deer, and immediately received rage-tweets from animal-killing dudes with great umbrage but no followers. Well, we still hope the deer got away — and that the hunter was a Trumpster. (Demographically, he probably was.) We cats PURR.

Maybe You Shouldn't Be In The Country (Because You Just Put It In Danger)

By Hubie and Bertie

Remember when the Republicans were the party of national security? If 9/11 had happened on Al Gore's watch, the GOP would have started crucifying him for it that very afternoon. Republicans were the dudes who were strong on defense, not namby-pambys. They talked tough, invaded countries, assassinated elected foreign leaders. Democrats? Indecisive weaklings who couldn't be trusted to protect America.

Not any more. Today a group of aggrieved white men from the GOP House caucus stormed the secure room where impeachment testimony was scheduled to take place. They took their cellphones in — a serious security breach. What would the hard-line Republican baddies of yesteryear have to say about that?

See, here's the deal. Cellphones are verboten in secure government rooms because America's enemies (Russia, China, Iran, North Korea) could hack into them and retrieve sensitive intelligence. So what Matt Gaetz, "Gym" Jordan, Steve Scalise and other GOP jerks did today was a felony. Like their President, Benedict Donald, they put our nation's national security at risk.

And they picked the day of Nancy Pelosi's brother's funeral to do it.

They know no bottom. The questions now are twofold: Will there be consequences? And is there anyone left in the Republican Party who believes in protecting the United States and who will object to this? We aren't holding our breath. In the meantime, we cats HISS.

P.S. The testimony these idiots tried to delay with this stunt is underway. Sorry, traitors.

The L Word

Imagine yourself unfairly accused of a crime you did not commit. Then imagine yourself dragged out into a public square, or into a patch of woods, or somewhere where the mob attacking you feels empowered, and imagine yourself being mutilated, and strung up, and set on fire, until mercifully, you finally die.

That is not what Donald Trump is experiencing by being impeached, which is a process safeguarded by the Constitution of the United States. But after all these lynchings across America, will anyone explain the difference to him? We cats doubt it, and we HISS.

Canada Votes

Two Prime Ministers named Trudeau, voting in 1980 and 2019. Bonne chance, Justin! We know one prominent American who's pulling for you. In the meantime, we cats PURR.

UPDATE: Looks like Justin will be returning with a Liberal minority government. Félicitations, Justin — and you'd better give a freaking great speech tonight.

The Man Behind The Curtain

By Miss Kubelik

As Donald Trump flops and flails, we cats would like to take a moment to speak up for the Wizard of Oz.

We've seen a lot of references to the scene from the 1939 film classic in which Dorothy's resourceful Toto reveals the Wizard for who he is. "Pay no attention," Frank Morgan desperately commands, but it's too late: Oz is unmasked.

The latest talking head to compare the undraped wizard to the weakened Trump is David Axelrod, who observed, "It's deflating when the curtain is pulled back and the Wizard of Oz is a little guy." Last month, Senator Kamala Harris slammed Trump on international trade in a Democratic debate, saying, "You know, when you pull back the curtain, it’s a really small dude."

Yes, the metaphor is useful. But Trump and the Wizard, while both frauds, couldn't be more different. Donald Trump is a monster. The Wizard? Not so much.

"You're a very bad man," a disappointed Dorothy says when all is revealed.

"Oh, no, my dear," the Wizard replies, clearly pained. "I'm a very good man. I'm just a very bad wizard."

One con man understands his limitations. The other never will. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Election Eve

On the day before Canada votes, here is a nice photo of Justin Trudeau campaigning in Niagara Falls, Ontario.

We'll Drink To This

If you think we cats are going to waste a blog post on Tulsi Gabbard, forget it. Meanwhile, even though Benedict Donald is trying to take over Twitter with the ridiculous "Stop the Coup," Nancy Pelosi continues to own him. Well done, Mr. Lukovich. We cats PURR.

Military Madness, Still Killing The Country

By Zamboni

We cats were underwhelmed by General James Mattis's appearance at the Al Smith Dinner last night. Har har, what a lot of guffawing over the idiot in the White House: "Bone spurs," "overrated," "Meryl Streep." Sorry, General, but the time for jokes is over. Don't yuk it up or try to sell more of your stupid books: TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW.

We were similarly unimpressed by Admiral William McRaven's op-ed in The New York Times. It was way too much Fort Bragg parade ground, too little Trump. And he lost us when he reported that a general grabbed his arm and said, "I don't like the Democrats, but..."

Don't like the Democrats? What an excellent reason to stop reading. First, we are the sane alternative to Benedict Donald and the craven, cowardly party that's allowed him to hijack them. Second, it rankles to hear that from a military guy — even though it's been 17 years since the Bushies stole a triple-amputee Democratic war hero's Senate seat by linking him to Osama bin Laden, and 15 years since we nominated a distinguished Vietnam veteran whose service Republican acolytes brutally trashed. We cats, like elephants, never forget.

Meanwhile, it's clear that rank-and-file military members are seething with an anger at Trump that their leaders are incapable of expressing. Who hasn't read the reports of troops who are furious to be deserting the Kurds? "I am ashamed for the first time in my career," said one. Bet these guys will have a lot of PTSD from being forced to turn tail.

America needs a leader in the Armed Forces to speak up for those who serve — and for the rest of us. Yes, we know that in the United States, civilians, not the military, are in charge. But these are no ordinary times. So until we see a dude (or dudette) sporting not just brass but balls, we cats HISS.

A Canadian Cartoonist Gets It Right (Again)

And yes, this is the dude who was let go by his newspaper group after his cutting, instant-classic "Mind if I play through?" Trump cartoon went viral this summer. We cats PURR.

Truly Monumental

By Baxter

We cats like this 1990s photo of Congressman Elijah Cummings because it gives you as much of a sense of his city as it does of the man.

How fitting that today, as she dominates the news (and the President), Speaker of the House Nancy D'Alesandro Pelosi movingly paid tribute to Cummings by calling him "my brother in Baltimore." We cats PURR.

The Miscreants Of October

By Sniffles

We cats have been around the block a few times, so we don't get ruffled fast — but now let's just say we're freaking out.

We're already upset about how Benedict Donald and the Trumpsters have been breaking the law and trampling on the Constitution, but this afternoon, things got exponentially worse. This letter contains the ravings of a madman. (If the above image isn't clear, read the whole thing here.)

Today, it feels like our nation is in the greatest danger since the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962. Thankfully, back then we had a brilliant and thoughtful President. Now, we've got someone who should be locked in a padded room. And we still don't know where 60 of our nuclear weapons are — we only know they're in Turkey. We cats HISS.

Vote, Schmote

By Hubie and Bertie

Take it from us cats, nobody out there in America is furrowing a brow and fussing because the House isn't holding a formal vote on impeaching Benedict Donald. To claim that an impeachment inquiry is illegitimate without one — a.k.a., the Republicans' desperate talking point — is, to put it delicately, crap.

No vote is required. It would be primarily symbolic: to underscore the strength of the argument for or against impeachment. And since Democrats are in charge of the House, Democrats get to decide what symbolism to employ when. Republicans, who have raped and pillaged most rules and traditions during their majorities on Capitol Hill, can stop their whining.

Ditto the lefties we've seen on Twitter who are wringing their hands at Speaker Pelosi again. Take a hike, kids. Nancy knows what she's doing.

Of course she's protecting her majority at all costs. But it's a lot more than that. She's proven already that she has an exquisite sense of timing. "He will self-impeach," she famously said. And her earlier reluctance gives her ever-more credibility on moving forward now.

So what if they don't have a vote? Think about it. The House committees are by all accounts hearing some hair-stand-on-end, goosebump-raising testimony from national security folks this week, and it's only Tuesday. Let's allow the evidence to pile up and the process to work.

Okay? Okay. That settled, we cats are going to go back to worrying about those nukes we have in Turkey. And we HISS.

"Somebody's Going To Get Shot"

By Miss Kubelik

Dear Canada: Let's talk.

We know you're anxious about sliding down into a Trump-like abyss of political ugliness. And you're concerned that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had to appear at a Saturday campaign rally in Mississauga, Ontario, wearing a bulletproof vest because of a threat. It's good to be worried. Maybe it'll help you stave off complete disaster.

But oh, how we Americans would love to trade places with you.

This morning, we Washington Post subscribers woke to a story about Benedict Donald whipping up his supporters to harass Congressman Adam Schiff online. Sure, most of them are probably just fools who can't spell Schiff's last name and use "hung" instead of "hanged," but you know what? We live in a country with more than 300 million guns, some of whom belong to nutcases — which means we hope Schiff has the very top of top-notch security details.

And let's not forget today's other "uplifting" story: the cheesy video that was shown at a Trumpster event in Miami last week. Maybe you've heard that it animates a Trump figure, gunning down members of the media (and a few Democrats) in a church. It's much more violent than the previous WWE "video" in which Trump punches out CNN. But all the MAGAts who were horrified by Kathy Griffin's (unfunny, by the way) severed-Trump-head stunt are telling us to get over this one. Hm.

That's just in one day here in the land of e pluribus unum. So maybe, Canadians, you'll take comfort in knowing that you have a long way to go until you sink to our level.

(On the other hand, Ontario has suffered under the Trump-like Fords for some time now. So maybe don't stop fretting yet. We cats HISS.)

Donald The Turd Forsakes The Kurds

One of our favorite cartoonists takes on Trump's treachery toward the Kurds. Advice: Don't watch any of the videos posted from Syria on social media if you want to be able to sleep tonight. We cats HISS.

Fonda Fridays

By Zamboni

Jane Fonda was arrested at the Capitol yesterday, for protesting against Congressional inaction on climate change. Inspired by the activism of Greta Thunberg, she vows to get hauled off to the hoosegow for the environment every Friday until the end of 2019. She's 81 years old.

Fonda has had a stellar career that even her political missteps from the 1960s and '70s can't erase. While we recognize the errors of her past, we support her. She is brilliant. And oh, by the way, her best revenge against those who would still trash her is to look as fabulous as she does. She's a queen. We cats PURR.

Let's Start The Romney Rumors

By Baxter

Washington Post columnist Jennifer Rubin, who will surely go back to being a pain in the ass once the Trump nightmare is over, has made a suggestion: The GOP should nominate Willard "Mitt" Romney in 2020.

"If Trump is forced out or forced not to run for re-election, Romney would be an excellent choice for Republicans desperate to eradicate Trump’s stain on the party," she wrote yesterday.

We cats are all for this. It's hard to think of a quicker way for the Republican Party to commit hara-kiri than to renominate its losing candidate from 2012. And not just because we remember Willard's extensive limitations — "47 percent," the 20-car elevator garage, the prancing ponies, that annoying, elitist wife who uses language like "you people"... Don't get us started.

Thing is, do you know how many factions of the GOP would erupt in rage at the prospect of a Willard Walk-on?

Obviously, the addle-brained Benedict Donald base would immediately start picking up their guns and revving their motorcycles, ready to ring the White House and defend their god. We know from old posts by our friends the Freepers how much those guys revile Romney. So, peel them away immediately.

Then there are the evangelicals, who adore Trump even though he's cheated on all three wives and has paid for who knows how many abortions. A good chunk of them would revolt just because their right-wing-judge-appointing hero has been impeached or dumped. They're not going to forget Romney's criticisms of Trump, no matter how tacit (which, as we know, is Willard's way).

Add in the other chunk of evangelicals who are deeply suspicious of the Mormon faith. It's the one thing we have in common with them, although for different reasons.

The only Republicans Romney would appeal to are the shrinking class of inside-the-Beltway pundits like Rubin, superrich corporate donors, Wall Streeters, foreign policy wonks and leftover Bushies (George Senior/Junior and Jeb acolytes) who dream of returning to "good old days" that were, TBH, not that good for the rest of us. Although dumping Donald and enraging the Trump base may spell problems for George P. Bush's political career down the road... so, it's complicated.

It all sounds great to us. A nominate-Romney scenario could not only tear the GOP apart but spur a true-believer Trumpster candidate to run as a third-party spoiler. (Maybe Benedict Donald himself, who knows?) Anyway, what's not to love? We cats PURR.

Cory, Cornered

By Sniffles

Maybe there's hope for journalism after all. Watch how this group of reporters declines to let embattled Republican Senator Cory Gardner from Colorado skate on the crucial question of whether a President should ask a foreign country for dirt on a domestic political opponent.

Gardner tries to evade by using a carefully crafted talking point. But nobody lets him slide. One after another, they ask the same thing. When he insists he's answered, they refuse to accept it.

You could say that Cory Gardner is feeling mighty endangered in his 2020 re-election bid. Good. You could also say that journalists should take note of what their colleagues did here, and follow suit. Their marching orders boil down to these:

Just do your job. If any of it isn't clear, go back to journalism school.

Always hold elected officials to account.

Remember that you must hang together, or most assuredly you will all hang separately. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Mobsters Are Governing America

By Hubie and Bertie

Why do we have this terrible feeling that this newest Trump scandal goes way beyond just one phone call with the President of Ukraine?

Is that an embarrassingly obvious question? Yes, we know that since his Ukraine call, Benedict Donald stood on the South Lawn and called for China to investigate Joe Biden. And now there are conflicting accounts as to whether the Trumpsters have actually received political intel from the Chinese. C'mon, guys! We thought you were all just going to commit treason in plain view, for heaven's sake.

But now that two Trump dudes named "Lev" and "Igor" have been hauled off to the hoosegow for funneling Russian money into US elections, we're wondering how many other countries, and how many other dictators, strongman and anti-democrats are paying off Trump to have their fingers (and their money) in the American electoral pie.

The Saudis? Kim Jong-un? Dutarte in the Philippines? Hungary's Orban? Bolsanaro in Brazil? How about Boris Johnson? Trump probably didn't scheme with Teresa May — they didn't get along because she was a girl — but surely he was always BFFs with Boris's other Brexit buddy, Nigel Farage. Now Trump has a direct line to No. 10.

Halloween is three weeks off, but we're already scared. And we HISS.

Lest We Furrget: Reagan Scandal (Not Iran-Contra)

By Miss Kubelik

Well, there goes another dignified Presidential tradition, sullied by the tiny hands of Benedict Donald. Trump just gave Ed Meese the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

As we've noted before, Meese is a perennial entry on our list of Worst AGs Ever. The fact that Bill Barr has brought the Justice Department to new, lower lows doesn't make Meese's tenure there okay. For those who weren't around (or reading headlines) 30 years ago, here's a quick refresher — a New York Times report from 1989:

"The Justice Department said today that Edwin Meese III violated government ethics codes so seriously when he was Attorney General that if he were still in office he should be subjected to Presidential discipline...failing to file timely tax returns and holding personal investments in areas affected by his governmental decisions.

"Specifically, the Justice inquiry found that Mr. Meese had violated the executive order on standards of conduct by failing to avoid the appearance of impropriety in three instances:

• By helping his friend, E. Robert Wallach, obtain a $30 million defense contract for the Wedtech Corporation.
• By helping Mr. Wallach obtain favorable loan treatment for Wedtech from the Economic Development Administration.
• By helping Mr. Wallach promote support in the Reagan Administration for an Iraqi proposal to build an oil pipeline through Lebanon to the Mediterranean."

Republican sleaze just doesn't get old, does it? Sure, the Trump family and its merry band of grifters spend every day, all day, dismantling our government and selling it for parts on an unimaginable scale. But that doesn't make what Meese did forgivable. That he was willing to accept a sham medal from a mobster President is proof that ol' Ed hasn't improved much over the years. We cats HISS.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Simple Sunday Edition

By Zamboni

Too much going on in the news these days. We cats can't keep count of all the whistleblowers. But whoever those brave blowers are, we hope they go on the record expeditiously (or at least, once they complete their applications for the Witness Protection program — they're going to need it). Meanwhile, a few simple declarative statements for this Sunday night.

There is no "Hunter Biden question." Journalists, please take note.

There was a mass shooting in Kansas City last night. Betcha didn't hear about that one, did you?

Republican Senator Ron Johnson of Wisconsin is an incredibly stupid person who has no business holding public office.

Benedict Donald can't possibly be concerned about Ukrainian corruption because he never worried about it when Paul Manafort was on trial.

All those White House aides who were "genuinely horrified" about Trump's calls with foreign leaders? We don't care how aghast they were if they didn't act on it. And since they didn't, we cats are going to dump our dirty litter boxes in their underwear drawers. And, of course, HISS.

Mitt Romney Is Very Concerned.

By Baxter

Leaving out a crowd of Trumpsters, of course, there is perhaps no group more repulsive than the Republican caucus in the United States Senate.

America has rarely seen such a gaggle of milksops, cowards and quislings — every one of them utterly unprincipled. #MoscowMitch is by far the worst, but folks like Lady Lindsey Graham, Baby Marco Rubio and Ron Johnson give him plenty of competition. (Johnson, it seems, learned that Benedict Donald was committing impeachable offenses some time ago, and didn't tell anybody. Nice!)

They're so bad, in fact, that Willard Mitt Romney is emerging as a shining star — or at least as someone who's willing to speak out (if gingerly) on Trump's treason. Shaking down Ukraine's President — "by all appearances," Willard cautions, giving himself an out just in case — was "wrong" and "appalling." Stand back, everyone, Mitt Romney is appalled!

We probably shouldn't come down too hard on Willard, though — we need to give him some room to criticize Trump so others of his caucus (besides Ben Sasse) may follow. We chalk it up to the fact that his unctuousness still manages to grate, even after all these years.

What mystifies us is why Romney refuses to blister the Twittersphere with a ton of "I told you so's." Remember how back in 2012 he said Russia was America's most dangerous enemy, and everybody (including us) laughed at him? That he doesn't scream about this today is just more proof that he's an incurable poltroon. Well, at least he managed to get a furious rise out of his party's leading traitor. We cats HISS.

IMAGE: Willard and Trump, late 2016. The expressions say it all.

#Cougar2020

And here we were worried about Elizabeth Warren being able to handle Benedict Donald's "Pocahontas" taunts. Today she expertly trolled right-wing fool Jacob Wohl, who tried to accuse her of a long-running affair with a 24-year-old Marine, with this:

"It's always a good day to be reminded that I got where I am because a great education was available for $50 a semester at the University of Houston (go, Cougars!). We need to cancel student debt and make college free for everyone who wants it."
 
The fact that Warren doesn't just totally own Wohl but that the joke also involves a big cat is, well, even better. It makes us PURR.

Wish You Were Here

By Sniffles

You know, social media is not a total intellectual wasteland. There's a fun game going on over there: Which top three people who are no longer with us do you wish were alive today to comment on what's happening with the country?

Lots of people said "Molly Ivins" right away — and we didn't want to be copycats. So we tweeted out Janet Reno, Barbara Jordan and Margaret Chase Smith.

How wonderful it would be to hear Jordan's commanding voice again, talking about the diminution of the Constitution. (After three years of listening to Benedict Donald's fourth-grade vocabulary, just having anyone in public life smart enough to use a word like "diminution" would be heavenly.)

Smith is another good choice because she was a lone voice against her party, berating her fellow Republicans for not standing up to the bullying of Joseph McCarthy. And she was a Senator from Maine (!). Just imagine Maggie coming back from the dead to smack Susan Collins around like Bette Davis cat-fighting with Miriam Hopkins.

To be honest, we're torn about Janet Reno — on the one hand, she was an incorruptible, straight-arrow, I-will-follow-the-law-and-never-lie-to-you public servant. Surely she'd be excoriating the despicable Bill Barr. On the other hand, she'd be sad to see the damage that's being done to her beloved DOJ. So maybe it's better that she's resting in peace.

Other candidates include: Sam Ervin, Elliot Richardson, Barry Goldwater, and every dead President who was besieged by scandal in office — Ulysses S. Grant, Warren G. Harding, Ronald Reagan... and yep, Richard Nixon. Actually, particularly Richard Nixon. We think he'd be appalled. We cats HISS.

Lest We Furrget: Barr Was Definitely Not A Mitzvah

By Hubie and Bertie

Pundits are generally in agreement that Susan Collins of Maine is one of the Senators on the Republicans' 2020 endangered list. Most trace it back, accurately, to her vote to confirm teen rapist Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court. Happy near-anniversary, Susie!

Maine Democrats have five candidates running in their Senate primary. Our favorite happens to be Sara Gideon, Speaker of the Maine House of Representatives — but no matter who the Democratic candidate will be, Collins's Kavanaugh vote has raised the ire of thousands of activists, who have so far raised nearly $5 million to put her out to pasture.

With the Trump impeachment looming, though, it's dawned on us that there's another vote that Collins needs to answer for: confirming William Barr as Attorney General.

Barr, as you've probably noticed, is working mighty hard to top John Mitchell, Richard Kleindienst, Ed Meese and Alberto Gonzales on the "Worst AG Ever" list. Two of those dudes we just mentioned went to jail, and the other two were just flat-out awful. Barr, meanwhile, seems intent on acting not as the nation's leading law enforcer but as Benedict Donald's top law-breaking excuser. The Founders must be spinning in their graves right now (not to mention principled Republican AGs like Elliot Richardson).

So, yes, let's make all the GOP Senators defend not just their Kavanaugh votes but their Barr votes. (And if the Republican Senate Campaign Committee wants to do the same to Demcratic Senators Doug Jones, Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema for theirs — well, boys, have at it. We don't see their constituents — particularly in Alabama and West Virginia — resenting them for Barr.)

We propose this from our comfortable perch of having a US Senator who has voted more times against a Trump nominee than any of her colleagues. Take a bow, Kirsten Gillibrand. We cats PURR.

95 And Counting

By Zamboni

As President, Jimmy Carter was progressive on so many issues — like women's rights and the environment — that we're just waiting for millennials to discover and adore him. Wait... maybe they already have. We cats PURR.