The Future

New Year's Eve is a great opportunity to post one of our favorite images of 2020. We cats look forward to better times, and we PURR.

TOAST!

Just a quick update that Conservative Ontario finance minister Rod Phillips has resigned over his COVID-busting holiday vacation in St. Bart's. It's unclear, though, how Ontario premier Doug Ford, also a Tory, is going to wiggle out of his previous declaration that he had no idea Phillips was out of the country. Still, this is our feel-good story of the New Year. Happy 2021, everybody! We cats PURR.

Impossible?

By Sniffles

Well, folks, it's the last day of 2020 and good riddance, right? Except for Joe Biden's victory over Benedict Donald, it's been a pretty terrible year. And who knows what 2021 will hold? The Republicans are continuing to behave like idiots, but the reason surely has to be what we're seeing in Georgia.

Already, 2.8 million Georgians have voted in the US Senate runoff. This is unheard of. And Republicans are worried that that high turnout may sink them — not to mention the fact that GOP Senator David Perdue has had to go into COVID quarantine, sidelined for the last weekend of campaigning. (Will he show up when Benedict Donald does his "show" in Dalton on Monday? Stay tuned.)

Whatever happens, it's clear that in Georgia, as at the national level, the Republicans' anti-democratic antics have ended up biting them in the butt. Think about it: If you accept the Georgia GOP's racist assertion that they had to clean the electoral rolls of unreliable, unverifiable voters — well, maybe they have. And maybe it's working against them in these Senate races.

Maybe, just maybe, the Republicans have disenfranchised voters who don't turn out often, who pay rent instead of mortgages, who move a lot, and who live in high-minority districts. So who's left? Given Georgia's demographic shifts, it's voters in the same high-minority districts but who own homes, hold jobs, are highly informed, and turn out regularly. And we have to believe that these are the people who are lining up to vote in the Georgia specials.

Wouldn't it be great if the GOP's new version of Jim Crow ended up electing Jon Ossoff and Raphael Warnock? As Cinderella's Fairy Godmother said, impossible things are happening every day. We cats wish you a Happy New Year, and we PURR.

Taking Misinformation To A New Level

By Hubie and Bertie

On a day like today, it's good to know that disgusting behavior is not restricted to south of the 49th parallel. If you can tear yourself away from the clown show in the US Senate, turn your eyes to Canada and feast on the vast hypocrisy of Rod Phillips.

Phillips (or Rodney, as we prefer to call him) is the finance minister for the province of Ontario, and he's in hot water for taking a holiday trip to St. Bart's in the Caribbean, despite the government's advice — in this age of COVID — not to engage in nonessential travel. And no need to ask: Yes, he's a Conservative.

But this sordid tale gets even better. Before he left in mid-December, Rodney produced a staged video that he then tweeted on Christmas Eve, wishing his constituents a happy holiday and implying he was home. There he was, ensconced in his comfy chair, enjoying an eggnog by his roaring fireplace. Check out that Charlie Brown tree and the gingerbread house! The ballsyness of his fakery is truly breathtaking.

Ontario's premier, the ever-ewy Doug Ford, is shocked, shocked to learn that his finance minister was in St. Bart's and has demanded he return immediately. As you might imagine, nobody's believing Ford didn't know.

It is all very Trumpy, and discouraging that Canadian leaders can be as unctuous as Americans. OTOH, it's comforting that we're not the only country that has to suffer fools like this. Doug Ford will soon have to decide that Phillips's continued service is, shall we say, nonessential. Ontarians probably already have. We cats HISS.

Georgia On Our Minds

By Miss Kubelik

At one point this morning, Democrats may have wondered if the Senate was going to pass the $2,000 COVID relief checks legislation that Benedict Donald "wants" — just so Team McConnell could claim the credit and have the American people believe that Republicans care.

After all, endangered Georgia Senators David Perdue and Kelly Loeffler came out in favor of the bigger checks, joined by Baby Marco Rubio (who is probably trying to deflect the dragging he's gotten from receiving the coronavirus vaccine) and Josh Hawley (who wants to run for President in 2024). Four Republicans down, eight to go for passage.

Except Mitch McConnell has blocked it. At least, for now. Perhaps he just needed some space so he could take a step back and figure out how screwed he is. Or is he?

Maybe it's Perdue and Loeffler who are. Their Democratic opponents, Jon Ossoff and Raphael Warnock, have been agitating for larger relief checks for days, so if Perdue and Loeffler will have caved on the $2k without getting it, they'll look bad. (Never mind that after they've spent months screaming about "socialism," suddenly they're for it.) And Benedict Donald is scheduled to make a campaign stop for them on Monday. What could possibly go wrong?

Perhaps we owe Bernie Sanders, whom we just groused about, a thank-you for potentially keeping the Senate in session this weekend (and Perdue and Loeffler in Washington instead of at home campaigning).

Stay tuned. But here's the big question so far: Trump is on the golf course. But once he hears that Mitch blocked the bill, will he mean-tweet? If not, the pointless theatrics are over. We cats HISS.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: The Day After Boxing Day Edition

By Zamboni

The first four-day weekend of the 2020 holiday season is ending, and we're heading into another three-day workweek before the next long weekend kicks in. We cats have a few thoughts.

Benedict Donald apparently has signed the COVID relief-slash-stimulus bill into law tonight, but only after needlessly inflicting anxiety and suffering on millions of Americans over Christmas. This whole episode has been a searing reminder of how deeply mentally ill Donald Trump is. If he really cared about giving his desperate constituents $2,000 instead of $600, he could exert his mighty influence over the Republican Party and urge Congress to pass another bill. But of course he won't.

Bernie Sanders has been whining about Joe Biden's Cabinet appointments. They're not lefty enough, he thinks. We rarely weigh in on Bernie's nonsense, but this time we have to say something. Well, two somethings: First, Biden's appointees have to be competent fixers of everything that the Trumpsters have broken. Second, the Cabinet should represent America, not the Democratic Party. Buzz off, Bernard.

The Nashville Christmas Day bomber has been identified, and it seems he's a sixtysomething white guy who was on a suicide mission. But it's unclear why. You have to have your suspicions, though, since Trump has said absolutely nothing about the event — kind of like when he says nothing about stuff Vladimir Putin does. Still, after we saw Petula Clark trending, we're glad that it's because the bomber was playing "Downtown" from his RV before he blew up and that Clark isn't dead.

Finally, as we enter the final three and a half weeks of the nightmare that is Trump — hoping to get through with our democracy only battered and not shattered — let's all resolve that we won't relax and disengage after the Georgia Senate runoffs and after Inauguration Day 2021. In fact, we can't ever relax again. As our incoming Vice President has said, "Democracy is only as strong as our willingness to fight for it. Keep fighting for it each and every day." We cats PURR.

Bon Anniversaire

Okay, everyone, before we sign off this Christmas night, let's take a moment to wish Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau a happy 49th birthday. (And to his brother Sacha, born on the same day two years later. Weird, huh?) We cats PURR.

A Thought For 2021

Let's look forward to the New Year with peace, love and strength. We'll have a friend in the White House, at least. We cats PURR.

Lest We Furr-get: The Greatest

In case you're wondering, team, this is the greatest First Lady of all time. Anyone else is a pretender or pale imitation (cough, cough, Melania).

Here is Jackie leaving her Georgetown home on the snowy night of January 19, 1961, to attend her husband's Inaugural Gala — at which geniuses like Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Harry Belafonte, Gene Kelly, Mahalia Jackson and Ella Fitzgerald performed.  "Duck Dynasty" kinda doesn't compare. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

"Your Name Will Be Tied To His With A Cord Of Steel And For All History"

Seems like a good time to re-up this video from almost a year ago.

Christmas Chaos

By Baxter

When the talking heads and Beltway pundits were lauding the COVID relief bill yesterday morning and talking up the newfound power of the Senate's "moderate" caucus (we're looking at you, Morning Schmoes), all we cats could think of was, "Who says Trump is going to sign this?" 

And you know, not to brag, but we were right.

Don't get us wrong — we're perfectly happy to have a bloc of Senators who are willing to work with President Joe Biden to get stuff done in 2021. Because we have big stuff to do. What bothers us is short-sightedness. It's not like Benedict Donald hasn't been telling us for the last five years exactly what sort of ratfink he is.

We're also happy to see the Republican Party destroying itself. Problem is, it's very scary at the same time. We're watching the possibility of American families not getting food on the table or the rent paid, over the holidays and beyond. We're watching traitors, war criminals and petty thieves walk free. We're seeing the foundations of democracy, our elections, under assault. Kind of takes an edge off the fun.

And now Benedict Donald has vetoed the defense authorization bill, and has left DC for Mar-a-Trash Heap. Will he ever return? Before, we would have bet "no" — but it's hard to predict now. Maybe, with the Congress poised to override his veto, he'll stay away until January 6, his last-gasp effort to overturn the 2020 election. Or maybe he'll never come back.

Either way, now that Donald Trump has decided to defund the military, we never, ever again want to hear Republicans complain about "defunding the police." We cats HISS.

"I Must Find A Way To Keep Christmas From Coming"

We cats are very particular about How the Grinch Stole Christmas. The 1966 cartoon is so perfect that we brook no remakes, live-action or otherwise. Parodies must be high-quality to work. This cartoon by Theo Moudakis of The Toronto Star passes muster — mainly because the artwork on the Grinch and his faithful dog Max is accurate and good. (The Whos, not so much.)

And of course we know that the Grinch will come around to taking his COVID vaccine in the end — after all, if he doesn't, he won't get to carve the roast beast! We cats PURR.

Oh, What A Relief It is

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is photographed in his office on Parliament Hill as he speaks with newly declared President-elect Joe Biden last month. We cats PURR.

Knox-ing 'Em Dead

By Sniffles

One of the 2020 people we will definitely not miss is Deborah Birx. We are sick of her complicity and her scarves. And while Anthony Fauci is also, to a degree, complicit in enabling Donald Trump — standing by silently while he spouted off nonsense in the White House briefing room — it was Birx who annoyed us more. Maybe because we visited her Wiki page and found her resume to be thinner than expected. Or maybe it was just those damn scarves.

Well, she's out now. Or at least, "retiring," after she flouted her own COVID-19 guidelines and traveled to Delaware for Thanksgiving. We have a hunch that she wasn't going to last long into the new Administration anyway, and that someone from Team Biden called her and said, "Deborah, why not leave on your own terms?" Good riddance.

Meanwhile, in Tennessee, the Knox County Commission has dissolved the county's Board of Health. According to the White House task force on which Birx served/serves, Knoxville has the most dire COVID infection rate of any other US city its size. The Knox County Commission didn't like the Board of Health telling people what they should do to keep from spreading the coronavirus: wearing masks, staying home, etc.

So who needs a Board of Health when you're in a pandemic that's killed 315,000 people and you've got one of the worst infection rates in the country?

In case you're wondering how county leaders could behave so stupidly and irresponsibly, the answers are simple: The county commission is controlled by Republicans. And the Neanderthal in the picture above is Knox County mayor, libertarian and former wrestler Glenn Jacobs. Need we say more? We cats HISS.

We Heartily Endorse This Creche

Just don't ask us what happened to the Baby Jesus. We cats PURR.

Countdown To Freedom

 

One month from today, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris will become President and Vice President. The Biden Inaugural Committee is urging Americans not to travel to Washington but, rather, to settle in at home for a virtual event similar to how the Democrats retooled their 2020 party convention. That's great news — because the convention was fabulous! We'll be parked in front of the TV all day on January 20. In the meantime, we PURR.

Trump's Martial Plan

By Hubie and Bertie

A few years back, journalist Sarah Kendzior warned that if Benedict Donald lost the 2020 election, the weeks between Election Day and Inauguration Day would be the most dangerous period in American history. Sorry to say, but she was right.

Word is surfacing of a Oval Office meeting that took place yesterday, in which Benedict Donald hosted a wackier-than-usual group of right-wing nutjobs: Sidney Powell, Rudolph Giuliani and Michael Flynn. A few regular administration officials were toddling in and out. Apparently one of the toddlers was alarmed enough to tip off Axios and The New York Times about it. Ideas discussed included:

• Declaring martial law to overturn the election. This is favored by Flynn, who has gone even further off the deep end since Trump pardoned him.
  

• Telling the Department of Homeland Security to seize voting machines (presumably, Dominion's). Giuliani even called Ken Cuccinelli about it. Cootchy, who is in his position at DHS illegally, thought it a bridge too far, even for him.

• Naming Sidney Powell some sort of a special counsel to investigate the 2020 voter fraud that didn't exist. (Now that, actually, might have some entertainment value.)
  

Still and all, none of this is funny. "I’ve been covering Donald Trump for a while," tweeted Jonathan Swan of Axios. "I can’t recall hearing more intense concern from senior officials who are actually Trump people. The Sidney Powell-Michael Flynn ideas are finding an enthusiastic audience at the top."

So, are we going to wake up tomorrow to hear tanks rolling through the streets? Don't bet on it, says government ethics guru Walter Shaub — career civil servants will save the day.

"Their allegiance is to this nation and not to some politician temporarily residing in government housing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue," he explains. "The career civilian and uniformed public servants would refuse to carry out the orders to facilitate his coup." (Of course, it's not very reassuring that Shaub also says, "God help us all if I'm wrong.")

You know whose fault this is? The Republican Party's. They're the ones who nominated this tinpot dictator in 2016. They're the ones who have enabled him ever since.

It's also the fault of the 17 state attorneys general and the 126 Republican House members who recently threw their weight behind Ken Paxton's ridiculous Texas lawsuit — including our own Congresswoman, who disgusts us. And it's the fault of House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, who was one of the 126. And let's not forget Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, who stayed silent on the Presidential election for far too long. 

Are you freaked out that we're even having a martial-law conversation in the first place? Blame the GOP. We cats HISS.

(PHOTO: The Lincoln Memorial on June 2, one day after Trump tear-gassed George Floyd demonstrators so he could march across Lafayette Park and hold up a Bible. Win Mcnamee/Getty Images)

The Next Howard

By Miss Kubelik

Joe Biden's Cabinet picks have been swell so far. We're thrilled because, to a person, they are all smart people who have been around the block a few times and know how to fix things. Or, if they're relatively new to Washington — like Pete Buttigieg is — they're young, brilliant, fired up, and ready to go.

We have to mention Buttigieg, because there are plenty of folks who think it would have been great to have him step in as chairman of the Democratic National Committee. Yes, he would have been terrific. But it's a position he's competed for before, and didn't get. And since then, he's raised his profile to such an extent that it's right and good that Biden tapped him for Secretary of Transportation. This is a guy who will make Infrastructure Week rock!

But where does that leave the DNC? The party is already two months behind in planning for the 2022 midterms. So we need someone tough and no-nonsense in there — someone who believes that Democrats should welcome everyone to the party, and run everywhere, in all 50 states. Someone like our perennial favorite, Howard Dean.

So, who? Who could run the DNC in the spirit of Howard, knowing that the Democrats can appeal to a broad swath of Americans — because what most Americans believe is what the Democratic Party stands for? Someone who understands the difference between the word "Democrat" as a noun and "Democratic" as an adjective — who would that be?

The answer is simple: Steve Schmidt. Please, Democrats, make your most recent convert the offer — and please, Steve, accept. This is a guy who knows how to organize, who messages extremely well, and who will go for the jugular when necessary (which will probably happen often in Joe Biden's first term). We cats PURR.

Alfresco

Twenty-three inches of snow? We can deal. Meanwhile, while Manhattan didn't get nearly that much, it's clear that come rain, sleet or Winter Storm Gail, there's still no place like New York. We cats PURR.

(PHOTO: Hiroko Masuike)

Shouting Out With Glee

As Fat Mike Pompeo gets exposed to someone with COVID and cancels his last holiday party, Randy Rainbow shows us how to leaven our Christmas cheer with a touch of schadenfreude. We cats PURR.

Pompeo's Pandemic Party Goes POOF

 

By Zamboni

This is SO GREAT. (No, not the design of this invitation, which is atrocious.)

Remember Fat Mike Pompeo's proposed 900-person superspreader holiday party at the State Department? The one that caused an outcry because it was foolhardy and dangerous? Well, of the 900 invitees, only 70 responded "yes," and today, even fewer of those turned up.

Honestly, COVID or no COVID, would you go to a party that featured "drinks, boxed meals, and a masked Santa"? Ugh! (There was no social distancing, either, despite a promise to enforce such rules.) Pompeo himself also was a no-show, even though he had committed to attending and speaking. Maybe the Santa was actually him? Nah — he doesn't believe in masks.

If this was Fat Mike's big kickoff for his 2024 Presidential campaign, it hasn't started very well. We cats PURR.

The Electors Have Voted

By Baxter

Joe Biden got to give another victory speech today! At this rate, he'll have to give dozens more before he takes office. Here's a question: If Republicans don't accept him as President after January 20, and it keeps getting proven that he won, will he get to give multiple Inaugural Addresses?

Actually, a few Republicans hemmed and hawed and shuffled their feet and finally admitted today that yes, the Electoral College members have put Election 2020 away. Lady Lindsey, Joni Ernst, John Thune, Roy Blunt, Lamar Alexander and a smattering of other GOP clowns grudgingly said uncle. It's despicable — but preferable, we guess, to a Michigan state rep threatening violence on talk radio and Arizona Trumpsters sending fake electoral votes to the National Archives.

For those of you out there who are new to Presidential elections, none of this is normal. What we're witnessing is a major political party going over a cliff, preferring to defend an autocratic narcissist than the Constitution many of them have sworn to protect. Clear-thinking Americans are all relieved that the end of the Trump nightmare is just 37 days away, but the country is still in one of the most dangerous periods of its history. Be happy, be hopeful, but stay vigilant. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Nothing To Be Proud Of.

This image is close to 100 years old, but what happened in the streets of Washington last night echoed it strongly. Racists and haters who call themselves the Proud Boys roamed downtown DC, stirring up trouble. Four people ended up stabbed, one critically, and three dozen were arrested. Why were those jackasses in Washington to begin with? They were protesting the defeat of Donald Trump. January 20 can't come soon enough. We cats HISS.

Nobel Winner Wisdom

Looking for a sliver of light in the Trumpian darkness? President Gore has an op-ed in The New York Times that's worth reading. Twenty years ago after a misguided SCOTUS decision, he conceded to Smirky Bush with patriotism and grace. Now, he's looking forward to the progress the Biden Administration can make — on the pandemic, climate change and everything else. His words are the perfect antidote to the disgust we feel when we see Proud Boys, Alex Jones and the My Pillow dude whipping up fascist fervor in our nation's capital today. We cats PURR.

Vacating The Throne

By Sniffles

Today is the 84th anniversary of the abdication of England's King Edward VIII. Also today, the Supreme Court has just ruled against Donald Trump in his ill-advised bid to overturn his 2020 re-election loss.

So: One Nazi sympathizer gives up his throne for the woman he loves, while the other Nazi sympathizer has to be dragged kicking and screaming from the White House after losing by seven million votes. The situations are not the same, but we're intrigued by the parallels nevertheless.

The key to avoiding disaster in each case was the fact that after the incumbent imploded, there was a solid, serious and experienced replacement waiting in the wings. In Edward's case, it was his unexpectedly thoughtful and mostly underestimated brother, Bertie. In Trump's case, it's the man 81,282,896 Americans voted for to replace him: the long-serving former Senator and Vice President, Joe Biden.

One was a king, and the other will be a President. Not much in common, except what we've noted, and this: They both stuttered. We cats PURR.

Perfidy Of The Year

By Hubie and Bertie

It's hard not to agree with Congressman Bill Pascrell (D-RI), who has asked House leaders not to seat any member who has joined with Benedict Donald's fruitless attempt to overturn the election. Pascrell is basing it on Section 3 of the 14th Amendment, which "disqualifies from service any individuals who seek to attack American democracy."

Sounds about right.

Team, this is today's GOP: Instead of adhering to their oath of office, they bend a knee to an autocrat who won't accept the cleanest election in American history. It's pathetic, disgusting and, yes, disturbing.

Our own House member, the ever-Trumpy Elise Stefanik, signed on, too. We can only hope that the New York State Legislature will redistrict her farther northward into the wilds of the Adirondacks, and give us a good Congressman, like Anthony Delgado or Paul Tonko. You know, somebody who won't subvert the Constitution.

Upstate newspapers that made the right call in the Stefanik-Cobb NY-21 race are probably patting themselves on the back that they don't have to do what The Orlando Sentinel just did: rescind a Congressional endorsement. "We apologize to our readers for endorsing Michael Waltz in the 2020 general election," the Sentinel said, referring to the area's GOP House member. "We had no idea, had no way of knowing at the time, that Waltz was not committed to democracy."

Wow. We cats never thought we'd see the Sentinel, part of the Chicago Tribune newspaper family, which used to be straight-up, Republican chamber-of-commerce-type conservative, do such a thing. But apparently, open sedition can send even right-wing Colonel McCormick's children into the light.

It's impossible to believe that the United States of America would allow itself to be driven into a Constitutional crisis by a person as small and worthless as Donald Trump. But when one of its political parties decides to self-destruct over him, that could still happen. Still, there's no doubt that Joe Biden and Kamala Harris will be sworn in on January 20 — especially since the Supreme Court just told all those Republican traitors to take a hike. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Cat Fight! State Attorneys General vs. State Attorneys General

By Miss Kubelik

Just when we thought Republican perfidy knew no bounds, we encountered a shaft of hopeful light. Dave Yost, the attorney general of the state of Ohio, officially came out in opposition to the ridiculous, Trump-appeasing plea to the Supreme Court by Texas AG Ken Paxton to overturn the election.

Yost is not a Democrat.

Meanwhile, 22 other state attorneys general have also filed briefs against Paxton's hail Mary. "This represents a profound and outrageous rejection of democracy with no precedent in our nation's history," tweeted AG Josh Stein of North Carolina. "It would also violate some of our nation's most basic Constitutional principles, including federalism and respect for state law."

AG Josh Shapiro of Pennsylvania was even tougher. He called it a "seditious abuse of the judicial process." Drag 'em, Josh!

It's obviously more important to the GOP to pacify the malevolent 74-year-old toddler in the White House than to protect American democracy, because if this stupid suit somehow succeeded, it would throw the United States into its worst Constitutional crisis in 150 years. And if they're doing it because they know it will fail, their cynicism is almost even worse. Never mind that 3,000 Americans a day are dying from COVID, and this is what they're occupying themselves with.

Could the Republican Party hurry up and destroy itself already? Because the collateral damage is starting to be felt. We cats HISS.

A Tale Of Three Veeps

By Zamboni

Nearly every time Joe Biden has hosted an announcement event from the Office of the President-Elect, he has turned the lectern over for significant periods to Kamala Harris, his Vice President-Elect. It could be possible, in fact, that Harris has had more speaking time in the presence of her boss than Vice President Poonce has had in his entire four years as Toady-in-Chief.

Has Poonce noticed? If so, is he jealous?

It's also a reminder that the Poonces have not had Kamala Harris and Doug Emhoff over to the Naval Observatory for lunch and a tour, the way the Bidens did for them one week after the election in 2016. It's not only an egregious violation of manners, it's (Benedict Donald's favorite word) nasty. But then, if you scratch the surface of right-wing Christians, you'll find that none of them are nice people.

Will the press start running articles soon about the outgoing Trumps and Poonces snubbing the incoming Bidens and Harris-Emhoffs? Even better, will they do any comparison stories about how Biden treats Harris with dignity and respect while Trump side-eyes Poonce with looks of barely concealed disdain? If they don't, we cats will HISS.

Joe Biden Is Perfect

By Baxter

No, not perfect all around. Just a perfect President at this time and place. Let us count the three biggest ways.

Empathy — America has been through the COVID year from hell, after nearly four years of insults, near-autocracy and cold Trumpian transactionalism. We could all use a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to cry on. Who would be better at that than Joe?

Experience — Biden's been in Washington for 100 years and knows everybody. Even when Emily Murphy at the GSA blocked him from transition access and funding for three weeks, it caused him only a hiccup. He deftly worked around her, making good use of his long contact list and chatting up Obama folks who, after only four years out of office, hadn't strayed far. 

Expertise — Back in 2009, Joe managed America's recovery from the 2008 financial meltdown. He knows how to deal with Republican-induced economic disaster. And thanks to his service on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and his eight years as Vice President, he knows the world, and the world knows him.

P.S. On a lighter note, it doesn't matter one bit that lowlife sore losers Benedict Donald and Moose & Squirrel have refused to have the Bidens over to the White House for a coffee klatsch. Joe and Jill don't need an orientation session — they've hung out at the White House plenty of times before. And they can tell Kamala and Doug everything they need to know about the Veep's house at Observatory Circle. So who needs Trump? We cats PURR.

Seal Off The Seal

By Sniffles

America only has one President at a time. This is a mundane rule that usually doesn't have negative ramifications for the country — except for times like now. It would be great if Joe Biden's team could take over the COVID response immediately, for example. Instead they have to wait until noon on January 20 to put their plans for testing, tracing, masking and vaccinating into action.

In normal times, though, "one President" means that only a single individual has the right to, say, fly on Air Force One or speak from behind a lectern bearing the Presidential seal. And that individual is the current chief executive — not a future one, like Joe Biden, and not a former one, like Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Smirky Bush and Barack Obama. Those guys make due with other logos and letterhead and lectern decor. (And private planes. Carter is the only one we can think of who's been known to fly commercial.)

Since Benedict Donald has been flouting all Presidential protocols (not to mention the rule of law) ever since he set foot in the people's house on January 20, 2017, what do you want to bet he'll keep doing it after January 20, 2021? He'll insist on the Presidential seal and the Presidential flag for whatever events or "shows" he holds to bankroll his shady PAC. (And when he doesn't get them, he'll have someone make knock-offs, like those Chinese purses his daughter sells.) He'll probably demand that the government make Air Force One available to him at the drop of a hat. And when the government refuses, he'll probably repaint his ugly Trumpy plane to look like it.

Trump is famously devoted to protecting, promoting and profiting from his brand, and only his brand. Which means he'll surely violate the Presidential copyright. We cats HISS.

Yes, Georgia Republicans, Please Do This.

This is just thrilling to see, even if there's no write-in opportunity on Georgia's January Senate runoff ballots. As the Trumpy dude promoting this on Twitter says: "It doesn’t matter if there’s no line for it. Make a statement! Stop disloyal Perdue and Loeffler!" We cats heartily endorse this game. It makes us PURR.

Simple Steps

By Hubie and Bertie

It's astounding how reckless and irresponsible and just plain stupid the Republicans (and yes, some Democrats) are about spreading the coronavirus. Fat Mike Pompeo is inviting 900 people to the State Department for a holiday party. L'il Nazi Congressman Matt Gaetz just attended a maskless GOP party in New Jersey, for which Governor Phil Murphy has told him never to set foot in the Garden State again. (And now the restaurant that hosted it has been shut down.)

For every Democrat like California Governor Gavin Newsom and Denver Mayor Michael Hancock who has been a dumb COVID hypocrite, the Republicans have at least a dozen more egregious examples. Worse, they are unrepentant. But occasionally, karma catches up with them: The associate pastor of a San Bernadino mega church that insisted on reopening without restrictions is dead now, from the virus.

Team, if you're reading this, you're probably a Democrat and COVID-responsible. But for those of you out there who are not, please think about this: The last thing you want to see on this earth is a physician hovering over you and shoving a ventilator tube down your throat. 

There's no guarantee that if you get the coronavirus you'll end up that way — but there's also no guarantee you won't. The ICU is not a fun place. You don't want to be there (if, indeed, you can even get in). Take that to heart, and mask up — it'll be good practice for Joe Biden's first 100 days. We cats PURR.

(PHOTO: Mark Lennihan, AP)

Feeling Much Better Now

By Miss Kubelik

It's been a month since the election, and most of the news coverage has been about Benedict Donald's attempted coup, his refusal to concede, and his grifting off his supporters to the tune of more than $200 million. But in a parallel world of sanity, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris have been putting together the next Administration, which will be chock-full of competent people who know how to fix things. 

Good! We need folks like that. But one of the best things is that the rest of us can take a deep breath and let our blood pressure go down. In fact, Joe and Kamala are on CNN right now, in their first joint interview since they won. They're talking sensibly, intelligently and compassionately about the challenges they'll face come January 20. What a relief to hear grownups again. We cats PURR.

Trumpism Is A Cancer

By Zamboni

It's time for the Trumpy COVID deniers — from Benedict Donald himself to that nutcase QAnon Congresswoman to idiots who berate doctors and nurses on social media — to sign a paper saying that if they contract the virus they will forego medical help.

And when they sign that paper, they should be given some sort of bracelet that IDs them in case they break down and show up at the ER. Why are we being so harsh? Because we're sick of seeing signs like this, posted (no doubt) by a Trumpster against an infectious disease specialist at the University of Vermont.

"My partner, Tim Lahey, MD, is on call today, taking care of people hospitalized with infectious diseases, including COVID," tweeted Lahey's wife, author Jessica Lahey. "He has been concerned enough over rising numbers in our area that he regularly does TV and radio spots to advise people about how to stay safe and healthy.

"This is where we are as a society, thanks to Trump and his efforts to undermine science, demonize healthcare workers and fuel conspiracy theories," she said.

The Lahey story is mild, however, compared to this: Benedict Donald has retweeted a moronic broadside against a critical care physician in Reno, Nevada, which alleged that the doctor's medical center's new ICU, built in a parking garage (yep, a parking garage) to treat overflow COVID patients, was fake. Added Trump in the retweet, "Fake election results in Nevada also!"

The doctor in question and Nevada's Governor, Steve Sisolak, fired back. But what kind of people are these Trumpsters? Who would go after the very folks who are risking their lives every day to take care of us if we get the virus? And who will care for us when all those awful long-term effects start making themselves felt?

We've got 270,000 Americans dead from this thing, with a lot more to come — but it's Donald Trump and his acolytes who are truly sick. We cats HISS.

"It's All Gone Too Far"

By Baxter

Kind of a big day in Trump World today, but maybe not in the way they'd want. The first story that caught our eye was about a long-married Michigan couple in their 70s who died of COVID within seconds of one another. According to their daughter: "They were both extremely regretful because they didn’t really take their own words to heart that it would actually take their lives." How did they get the virus? They got impatient with having to stay home all the time, and decided to eat in a restaurant where no one was wearing masks.

In short, Gretchen Whitmer was right about everything. It's a damn good thing she didn't get kidnapped, but these two constituents of hers are still dead.

Then this news just broke: A pay-for-pardons scandal is erupting in the White House, wow! The details are heavily blacked out and no conspirators are yet named, but a few do come to mind: Giuliani, Manafort, Gates, Bannon, Kushner... and, of course, Individual 1. More to come, no doubt — but this unexpectedly unsealed order should throw a monkey wrench into whatever nefarious shenanigans Benedict Donald has been plotting. In fact, he probably already pocketed some cash from Joe Arpaio, Roger Stone and Michael Flynn. Stay tuned.

Until that story exploded, the biggest news of the day was a guy no one's ever heard of before: Gabriel Sterling, Georgia's voting implementation manager, who is fit to be tied over the death threats people like his boss, Secretary of State Brad Raffensberger, has been receiving from Trumpsters. The best thing about it: He calls out both Benedict Donald and Georgia's two repugnant Republican Senators. The worst thing: He still calls himself a Republican and says he's still voting for those Senators. But his words to Trump speak for themselves:

"Mr. President, it looks like you likely lost the state of Georgia... And you have the right to go through the courts. What you don't have the ability to do — and you need to step up and say this — is stop inspiring people to commit potential acts of violence. Someone is going to get hurt. Someone is going to get shot. Someone's going to get killed. And it's not right. It's not right.

"Be the bigger man here... Tell your supporters: Don't be violent. Don't intimidate. All that's wrong. It's un-American." We cats PURR.

Can't See The Forest.

By Sniffles

We just heard that 2020's version of Josef Mengele, Scott Atlas, has resigned as White House coronavirus adviser. It's never been clear why a radiologist would be advising the Executive Branch on a viral pandemic, but you also have to wonder: Benedict Donald is so checked out, either spending hours on the golf course or ranting over the phone about the election... will he notice?

Nobody knows what the future holds for Atlas, a.k.a. Mr. Herd Immunity, but we sincerely hope Stanford University will distance itself even further from him. He is a disgrace. Maybe some whacky Trump-loving Governor in, say, North or South Dakota will hire him as a COVID adviser, but one thing's for sure: He'd never qualify to be a Walmart greeter (and mask enforcer). Sorry, Scott!

Meanwhile, Moose & Squirrel has unveiled the last holiday decorations she'll ever do at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, and thank God for that. Like the Trumpsters we just blogged about who adorn their homes with multiple flags, Melania clearly just doesn't know when to stop. We cats look forward to January 20, after which the White House can return to a blessed state of spare elegance. And we HISS.

Funny Houses, Stupid Flags

By Hubie and Bertie

We cats were driving in rural upstate New York this afternoon, and saw plenty of houses like this. We know that they don't represent the majority of Americans on whom Joe Biden and Kamala Harris will depend to turn our country around post-Trump. But — what about them? If they're still flying their flags today, what will they think tomorrow? And will they ever realize that Trump's "stop the steal" nonsense is merely a fundraising ploy for his reality show? We cats worry for the future of American democracy, and we HISS.

Editorial Decisions

By Miss Kubelik

THE BIDENS ARE GETTING A CAT.

Sorry, was there any other news today besides this? Because if so, we haven't seen it.

Oh, wait a sec — maybe we have. Seems that Benedict Donald thinks he's going to hold some sort of 2024 campaign event on Joe Biden's and Kamala Harris's Inauguration Day. As with all things Trump, we'll believe it when we see it, because the story will probably change a dozen times between now and January 20. But for right now, let's assume that it happens. What should the news media do? We cats have some advice.

The story is the new administration coming in, not the old one going out. So the press must cover the Inauguration first and foremost. They won't have the usual stories to assign: coffee at the White House, and, thanks to the pandemic, big crowds at the Capitol and zillions of parade watchers along Pennsylvania Avenue. But the main story will be Joe and Kamala, full stop.

How they cover a Benedict Donald event is anyone's guess at this point. For example, where will it take place? Has anyone explained to Trump that if he flies out of Washington on Air Force One on the morning of January 20, his plane will no longer be designated Air Force One in the afternoon, after his rally? So will that have an impact on his site selection? Or should he just pick the godforsaken state of Florida, have some kind of dumb, COVID-busting event there, and go home to sleep in his own tacky Mar-a-Lago bed?

Whatever location Benedict Donald picks, the media should simply cover it later, as news that also took place during the Inauguration. In other words, after the fact.

We're confident that most reputable news organizations will follow that formula. But the interesting question is: What will FOX "News" do? They like to style themselves as a serious news organization. So we're guessing that they will resist any temptation to do split-screen and simply go with the Biden-Harris swearing-in. After all, the truly important people in America will be there. We cats PURR.

Tea Party

If you're new to this meme, you have a lot of catching up to do! But don't worry — it's all explained here. We cats PURR.

A Return To Normalcy

Guess who we're most thankful for today? Hint: Their initials are "JB" and "JB." We cats PURR.

Erev Turkey Day

Team, please don't travel for Thanksgiving. Or, if it's too late for that, please don't gather in large groups and then disperse back to your respective corners of the country to infect others. Stay within your immediate households, wear masks, wash your paws, be careful. Since Biden's election, the world is looking at us with joy and relief. Let's not make them horrified again. We cats HISS.

Please Have Snow And Mistletoe

By Zamboni

"I'll Be Home for Christmas" is a poignant product of an America in 1942 that was coping with its first full holiday season at war. Today we're fighting a global pandemic, and our "wartime President" has completely checked out. He hasn't even mentioned the 250,000 dead and the surges that are happening around the country. Instead, he whines about the timing of Pfizer's vaccine announcement.

So this Christmas, we're left to defend ourselves until the January cavalry arrives. Most folks — in our neck of the woods, at least — are scaling back, acting responsibly, and as the song says, seeing our loved ones only in our dreams.

In the meantime, we cats salute the postal service. Against all odds, they managed to deliver America's 2020 ballots nearly without a hitch. We hope that come 2021, Joe Biden gives them the leadership they deserve. And we PURR. 

Pipe Dream

By Baxter

In a letter they released yesterday, nearly 200 corporate CEOs called for Benedict Donald to, um, paint or get off the ladder. "Every day that an orderly Presidential transition process is delayed, our democracy grows weaker in the eyes of our own citizens and the nation’s stature on the global stage is diminished," the letter said. Soon after, the walking, talking Thanksgiving Day parade balloon known as Emily Murphy grudgingly released GSA funds and granted government informational access to the Biden team.

It's a welcome development — although a little depressing that it took the business world to shake the Trumpsters loose, not the votes of 80+ million Americans or a conviction that the well-being of the country was at stake. But it was also a handy reminder that an idea that's been floated for Benedict Donald's post-White-House life — making highly paid speeches at corporate events — is a ridiculous notion.

Had Benedict Donald not behaved like a democracy-destroying spoiled toddler in the last few weeks, there was maybe an outside chance that some company would book him, despite his previous perfidy and corruption. But now he's even more radioactive, which means:

1. What company is going to want to deal with the inevitable backlash? Think boycotts of their products, and protests from their communities and maybe even their own employees. Their sales, marketing and branding teams will be shaking in their boots at the prospect.

2. Donald Trump doesn't make speeches. He rambles through stream-of-consciousness nonsense with no syntax, tosses around accusations and assertions without evidence, and can't stand at the lectern for five minutes without insulting somebody. Who wants that for the keynote at their annual meeting?

3. By the time any such opportunities roll around, if they do, who knows what physical, mental or legal shape Trump will be in? He could be debilitated by a post-COVID episode — and/or have Tish James or Cy Vance hauling him off to the courtroom or, it is devoutly to be hoped, the hoosegow.

4. Even if he were not sick with something or under indictment, Trump will no longer have access to Air Force One. So he'd have to take his stupid purple plane out of mothballs and fly less conveniently from, we guess, West Palm Beach. He also famously does not like to travel to places that are too far away to let him sleep at night in his own bed. Would he only accept bookings in red states in the Eastern time zone, then? It's hard to picture him putting up with it all.

So scratch the corporate-speaking fantasy. Maybe he'll write that "score-settling" book that people keep talking about instead — except that he doesn't read, can't write, and may have a hard time finding another Tony Schwartz to pen something bearable. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

(IMAGE: Larry, Chief Mouser at No. 10 Downing Street. We hear he gives a great speech.)

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Haul Out The Holly Edition

By Sniffles

We cats were out on our COVID-careful errands today and got behind a car with... wait for it... a fir tree strapped to its roof. Whut! It's not even Turkey Day yet. It seems that pandemicked-out people need a little Christmas now.

It's fine with us, as long as they stay home, use masks, practice social distancing and don't act like MAGA fools. The hospitals here in New York are not jam-packed like they are in the red states, and we'd like to keep it that way, thank you.

In the meantime, there's plenty of news today that lends to the holiday cheer. We're tracking it in case you're busy stringing the popcorn and untangling the twinkle lights:

We don't often agree with Chris Christie, but yes, Benedict Donald's "elite strike force" legal team is an embarrassment. Not for us, naturally, but for Trump and the entire GOP. A few more Republicans have inched forward to say publicly that Trump's silly game needs to end: Christie, who probably thinks Jared and Rudy blocked him from becoming AG four years ago, and Michigan Congressman Fred Upton, who is friendly with Joe Biden. John Bolton has been his blunt self. And Larry Hogan got into a cat fight with Trump on Twitter! Don't string all the popcorn yet — this movie's not over.

Georgia Senator Kelly Loeffler has tested positive for COVID. So has Florida's first Martian Governor (now Senator). Did they catch it at that November 11 fundraising event that the Martian did for Loeffler and David Perdue? If so, who else got it there? Pass more popcorn, please.

On the subject of Georgia, here's a fun idea: Some MAGAts are threatening to boycott the Senate run-off if the Republican Party doesn't make sure that Trump wins. In the words of one: "For any Republicans not explicitly helping Trump to 'stop the steal,' we will make sure you are never elected ever again." Great! Keep up the good work, guys, and if you do go to the polls on January 5, write in Trump's name for both Senate races.

Finally, let's not forget what this coming Thursday is, and take a moment to appreciate what we can be grateful for — like the election of Joe Biden as President and Kamala Harris as VP. We're even grateful for Emily Murphy. Every time we see a picture of her, we're reminded that we have to watch Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. We cats PURR.

With Prejudice

By Hubie and Bertie

We cats are not lawyers, but it looks like a federal judge in Pennsylvania has simply torched Benedict Donald's legal gang and their bogus overturn-the-election lawsuit today.

"Defendants' motion to dismiss the first amended complaint is granted with prejudice." This means that the judge agreed with Kathy Boockvar, Secretary of the Commonwealth, who asked to have the flimsy case tossed. The judge not only granted her that, he said that Trump's case is so effing stupid, it can never be tried in court again.

Within a few hours of today's decision, Pennsylvania Republican Senator Pat Toomey declared that Trump has exhausted all legal options. "I congratulate President-elect Biden and Vice President-elect Kamala Harris on their victory," he said. See, was that so hard?

As for the rest of the Republican Senate, there have been predictions that more Toomey-esque statements will follow. We cats will believe it when we see it. But here's one way to put the pressure on: By our count, 19 of the 53 current Senate Republicans are lawyers. They need to be asked if they would willingly walk into a courtroom and argue these Trumpy cases — and if not, why not.

They need to be asked why they think Trump has lost 30 of these cases. 

And they need to be asked if each of the judges who has ruled against Benedict Donald — some of them Trump appointees — should be removed from the bench.

Even after January 20, if one of those clowns shows up on the Sunday shows, he/she should be asked questions like this. The damage that Trump is doing on his way out is immense, and Republicans who have been silently enabling it should be held to account. We cats HISS.

The Inexorable, Inevitable Thing

By Miss Kubelik

President-elect Joe Biden says we'll hear his choice for Treasury Secretary soon. And the tight-lipped Biden team has let slip the following candidates for Attorney General: Merrick Garland, Sally Yates, Deval Patrick and Doug Jones.

This is all swell. Biden should keep it up. In fact, we're pleased to see that Team Joe has decided to accelerate the announcements of his Cabinet picks, because it just makes everything more inevitable. Why not? He's got the support of 80 million Americans and 306 Electoral College votes behind it all.

Meanwhile, Team Traitor Trump is flailing along with its democracy-destroying freak show. It doesn't appear that it's going to work — mainly because people whom Benedict Donald is trying to woo realize that they could be ensnared in legal action (conspiring to commit fraud, don'tcha know, and we assume the laws in DC are pretty strict). And also because the press isn't playing along. There is no "but her emails" both-sides-ism going on here, thank God. Better late than never.

But if the media really wanted to out Trump on his nefarious ruse, they could ask the following questions:

• If he's truly preparing for a second Trump term, as his Secretary of State avers, who is his second-term transition coordinator? Who is his transition spokesperson? Personnel director? Who are his liaisons with every Cabinet-level and executive department?
  

• Why hasn't he asked for the pro forma resignations of his Cabinet? That's traditional during a transition. He doesn't have to accept them. So... 'sup?
  

• Who is chairing the second-term Trump Inaugural Committee? Surely they're planning a maskless, pandemic-busting, Obama-exceeding boffo celebration. So who are the lead corporate sponsors? What fabulous, A-list entertainers will be performing at the pre-Inaugural and Inaugural balls?

You get where we're going here. If none of these things happened or exist, which they haven't and don't, the gig is up. Everything Benedict Donald is doing is for show. At the same time, we shouldn't relax our vigilance on the very real damage he's doing to our democracy and the way the world views us. For that alone, he should be hauled off to the hoosegow at noon on January 20. We cats HISS.

Okay, There's One

Actually, Joe Biden won Michigan by 157,000 votes. And Ben Sasse should let himself be videoed getting coffee at a Dunkin' Donuts tomorrow morning so he can prove to all the quislings in his party that he wasn't struck dead for saying this. (Although he should have added that the phrase "Rudy and his buddies" includes the individual known as "Trump." We cats HISS.)

Emily Murphy Hits The Box Of Wine A Little Early

 She (or somebody) deleted this, but the Internet is forever.

The Elephant's Ass

 By Zamboni

So how long do we want Benedict Donald to keep his grip on the Republican Party?

Remembering all the Democrats who thought Trump would be the ideal Republican nominee in 2016 because he'd be the easiest to beat — and bearing in mind all the terrible damage he and the Republicans have done (and continue to do) to the country — there's still hope that by bending its knee to him, the GOP has sown the seeds of its own destruction.

Frustratingly, though, despite everything, it never happens. Long ago, we imagined the GOP splitting into two: traditional Republicans, and a Know-Nothing party of MAGA fools. So we're going to have to come up with a different scenario.

It involves Benedict Donald's unhealthy habits (Big Macs, little sleep) and his post-COVID co-morbidities (obesity, age, maybe high blood pressure, constant rage) getting the better of him. Yes, he got the best care at Walter Reed, but we still know too little about the long-term effects of the virus. What if he becomes too physically incapacitated to host his podcast/star on his new network/run again?

If that were to happen, it would probably be okay if it waited until December 2023. That way, Trump could be a looming, destructive presence over the Republicans throughout the 2022 midterms, and freeze the Republican Presidential field long enough to wreak havoc on them for 2024. After that, it would be refreshing if members of the Grand Old Party would believe in democracy again. We cats HISS.

(IMAGE: The Atlantic)