Michael Rousseau, Gagnez Votre Salaire

By Miss Kubelik

We cats get very impatient with the Francophones in Quebec who keep fretting that French is under siege and they must language-police everything. But that said, the CEO of Air Canada is a jackass.

Michael Rousseau (yep, that's a French name) recorded a short video offering condolences after the fatal jet-versus-fire-truck accident at LaGuardia on Sunday night. Except for "bonjour" and "merci," it was English-only. Okay, that's extraordinarily bad.

Several reasons: 1) One of the pilots who died in the accident was a Quebecker from Coteau-du-Lac, outside of Montreal. 2) French is the official second language of Canada, and a quarter of Canadians speak it. 3) Rousseau promised back in 2022 that he was going to learn the language after a previous controversy in which he implied he was "too busy" to do it. Hey, dude, the Prime Minister of the entire country has found time to work on his French, so why can't you?

"I'm ​very disappointed — as others are, rightly so — in this unilingual message of the CEO of Air Canada," PM Mark Carney said. "It shows a lack of judgment, a lack of compassion."

Oui. If, after four years, Rousseau hasn't learned enough French to make a four-minute video — with a teleprompter, even! — after two of his pilots sacrificed themselves to save their passengers, he doesn't deserve to be in his job and make his (one presumes) enormous salary. Aside from everything else, it's PR 101. Nous, les chats, SIFFLONS.

Sunny News From The Sunshine State

By Zamboni

The interwebs started exploding last night with election results from two state legislative districts in Florida. Normally, races like that would fly farther under the radar, but one involved the house district that's home to Benedict Donald's Temu Greenbrier. Long story short: Trump, Moose & Squirrel, and Lurch are all represented in Tallahassee now by a Democrat. (And PS: They all voted by mail.)

On the other side of the state, another Democrat upset a creepy Republican woman with tortoiseshell glasses and a penchant for dressing like something out of Laura Ashley. In spite of that, she was seen as a "rising star" in GOP circles, had oodles of money, and was predicted as late as Monday to have a 95 percent chance of victory. Instead, she was beaten by an electrician who had a lot of union support. Sweet!

There's something happening here. What it is ain't exactly clear.

Or maybe it is.

And maybe the corporate news media just keeps missing the boat. We still can't surf the headlines these days without seeing some version of "Democrats in disarray" or "Democrats in despair." But, but, but: We keep flipping these GOP state seats — 30 since the start of 2025. (Republicans: Zero.) It's enough to make the MSM start speculating not only about the US House this November, but also the US Senate. But how is that possible? They keep telling us that we have no message, and nobody likes us. Yet we keep winning.

Here's an answer: The pundits, of whom we are all heartily sick, continue to think 2026 is an election between two choices: unpopular Republicans versus unpopular Democrats. They just can't get past the Democrats' negatives — but that's short-sighted. To the non-pundit, non-MAGA universe, 2026 is a choice between autocracy at its best (and fascism at its worst) versus an imperfect party committed to the Constitutional order. So imperfect wins just about every time.

Since the Trumpsters have the media on their enemies list — and since the heads of anyone in the press will be on Donald's chopping block if he can consolidate power — we don't understand why they don't report it that way. Maybe the No Kings rallies on Saturday will wake them up? Let's hope. Meanwhile, we cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

A Royal Error

By Baxter

Nobody expected to see King Charles II in the news today, but there he was. And all because Jake Sherman of Punchbowl News either made a nearly (if not completely) understandable typo, or he really doesn't know his English monarchs.

Sherman tweeted this morning: "WH expected to announce that KING CHARLES II will make a state visit next month. Likely to include address to joint session." Okay, how is that going to work?

At first we thought maybe it was the White House that got Charles's number wrong. (They're not bright.) But on closer look, Sherman was quote-tweeting an earlier Punchbowl post that had it right. So it was Just Jake. Tweeps immediately jumped in with all sorts of Charles II jocularity. Did you know that was a thing? Apparently it is.

After a few hours, Sherman must have figured out what was going on. "King Charles III," he said. "Not Charles II. The latter died 300 years ago. Sorry." The tweet didn't really help, because the jocularity raged on. 

As everyone pointed out ad infinitum, Charles II was the 17th-century king who succeeded to the throne after the English Civil Wars. He was known for his love of opulent dress, his interest in the arts, and his spaniels. (And in Forever Amber, he was played by George Sanders, which was, take it from us, terrific casting.) Journalism's in a sorry state when we can't decide if Sherman's goof was a typo or not. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Joyeuse Saint-Patrick!

Don't ask us to explain this, but apparently the City of Montreal's St. Patrick's Day parade was today — five days after March 17th — and it took place in a snowstorm. Not only that, the city's mayor, who is of Chilean descent, was out there celebrating with everyone else. This is really cool. We cats PURR.

AIPAC Crashes And Burns

By Sniffles

The midterms' primary season grinds along, and we cats have a few thoughts about the Illinois contests that took place last week. Our particular focus is the Congressional race in IL-09 — not our personal when-we-were-kittens stomping grounds, but close enough for government work, as they say.

IL-09 was one of those races that highlighted the unfortunate role of money from AIPAC — something that we've noticed is a worrying source of discord in our party. The race was to succeed able Congresswoman Jan Schakowski, who is retiring after nearly 30 years. Evanston mayor Daniel Biss came in first with 29.6 percent of the vote. Bernie Broette Kat Abughazaleh was second with 25.9 percent. AIPAC-funded candidate Laura Fine trailed embarrassingly in third place with 20 percent.

This makes us happy, because Biss's win shows us that Jewish Democratic candidates do not need to toe Benjamin Netanyahu's line to be successful. Biss, whose mother is Israeli and who has said that the current Israeli government's behavior is "appalling," has made it clear that AIPAC should not dictate America's foreign policy — and that the lobbying group's tactics against him were deceptive and undemocratic. "AIPAC found out the hard way that my district is not for sale," he said.

You know, at this point, we should just treat AIPAC today as a Republican organization. They are completely Netanyahu-Trump-aligned, and we should salute Jan Schakowski for bucking them — although we're pretty sure that she received a bunch of AIPAC money in her earlier campaigns. (Those were the good old days.) She has had a distinguished career in Congress as a loyal Pelosi lieutenant, has always encouraged and supported women to run for office, and in this race picked the most highly qualified candidate to succeed her.

The other point is that AIPAC —which once had an unassailable reputation in Washington —is now toxic. More evidence that everything Trump touches dies. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

File This For When He Goes

Will any Republicans condemn this? Or will they wear it like cheap Florsheim shoes that don't fit? We cats HISS.

For Women's History Month: Sister Rosetta Tharpe

 

Her influence on rock 'n roll is self-evident. All she needs is for white folks to recognize it. We cats salute her, and we PURR.

"This...Is London"

By Hubie and Bertie

So CBS News Radio, after nearly a century of broadcasting, is being shut down by Gen X idiot Bari Weiss, who cannot possibly understand the influence and impact of the House of Murrow on American journalism, politics, history, and culture.

"We understand how difficult this news is for our staff and their colleagues, who have worked side by side with us to cover some of the most significant stories of our time," Weiss said.

No, you don't, Bari. You absolutely don't. We cats call bullshit on that.

Weiss was born a full 40-plus years after Edward R. Murrow set the standard for on-the-scene reporting with his broadcasts from the 1940 London Blitz. The so-called Murrow Boys reported not only World War II and its aftermath, but also the McCarthy era and every story of national importance through the end of the Sixties. (When we were kittens, our dad, in fact, listened to WBBM every morning in Chicago before he went to work.) Walter Cronkite was not a Murrow Boy, but he inherited the distinguished mantle. His time, sadly, is long gone.

This raping of CBS makes us sick. Let's hope that in some future timeline, clueless fuckups like Weiss can be ejected, and its former glory restored. In the meantime, we cats HISS.

Now All They Need Is A Nobel Prize

The people of the Twin Cities have received the John F. Kennedy Profile in Courage Award for their peaceful protest against the brutality of Trump and ICE. An honor they well deserve!

And just to make Benedict Donald extra-mad, the Kennedy Library Foundation is honoring Fed Chair Jerome Powell, too. We cats PURR.

Is Everyone An Epstein?

By Miss Kubelik

Cesar Chavez's farm worker world could not have been more different from Jeffrey Epstein's high-flying mixing and mingling with zillionaires, but apparently the two shared something important: an appreciation for little girls. That's the news from a New York Times investigation that hit our screens today, and it's astonishing.

Is it a good thing that we can still be shocked and appalled? Because we're shocked and appalled. So are a lot of other folks, who are rushing to cancel the annual parades and celebrations that were scheduled for Chavez's birthday on March 31. Heck, in California and a few other states, Chavez's birthday is a state holiday, for crying out loud. (Note to Gavin Newsom: Yes, please change the name to something that salutes farm workers as a whole, not just their now-tarnished leader.)

And we haven't even mentioned the other part of the story, which is that Dolores Huerta — Chavez's partner in building the UFW, who has her own well-earned place in labor union history — has finally told the world that Chavez raped her twice and that she had children by him. You can't help but wonder how she felt when #MeToo exploded in 2017, because she's admitted today that she's realized there were others Chavez abused, and because of that she couldn't be silent anymore.

Well, good for Huerta, who is about to turn 96 and deserves to unburden herself. Still, it's heartbreaking to think that she had to hide all this for the sake of the farm worker movement. How many other Dolores Huertas are out there, in how many other political and social campaigns? It's unknowable, but disturbing to think about.

When we cats were kittens, we first realized who Cesar Chavez was when we saw him break bread with Bobby Kennedy to end his 1968 hunger strike. He seemed like someone from another plane of existence — a man who would sacrifice everything for the sake of the people he led. He's certainly come down to earth now.

At least, unlike the Trumpsters, we're willing to reassess our thinking when our heroes turn out to have feet of clay. (MAGA will never admit they've been duped by Donald.) But it still makes us HISS.

Happy St. Gertrude's Feast Day!

 

Did you think we forgot? (Happy St. Paddy's Day, too.) We cats PURR.

HIPAA Violation

 

By Zamboni

These two are simply horrible. No morals, no decency.

What was that? You thought that Trump's fundraising email with the photo of the dignified transfer of remains was as bad as he could get? Guess again — except this time, he has help from Preacher of the House Mikey Johnson, who is too simpering and sycophantic to object.

Donald Trump takes such pleasure in other people's misfortune. And he has absolutely no qualms about behaving like this with Susie Wiles sitting right next to him. You know Susie Wiles — the Chief of Staff who's just been diagnosed with breast cancer? Incredible. We cats HISS.

De Adder Du Jour

 

We saw a gas price of $3.75 a gallon today, and we're beginning to think that, all things considered, it might be a bargain. We cats HISS.

(IMAGE: Michael de Adder, deadder.net)

Lest We Furr-get: The DAR Has Always Sucked

 

By Baxter

In 1939, the Howard University School of Music asked the Daughters of the American Revolution to reserve DAR Constitution Hall for a benefit concert starring the renowned contralto Marian Anderson. As you may know, the all-white, all-idiot DAR refused, because Anderson was Black.

They banned Paul Robeson in 1930 for the same reason. However, in 1930 Eleanor Roosevelt was not First Lady.

ER furiously resigned from the DAR, booked Anderson for a concert on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, and the rest is the kind of history that the Trumpsters are now trying to erase.

So we cats were intrigued to see this photo in an exhibit of Richard Avedon's portraits at the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts. It's titled The Generals of the Daughters of the American Revolution, DAR Convention, Mayflower Hotel, Washington, DC, October 15, 1963. We need the back story. How did this photo happen?

Look at the expressions on the faces of the white Daughters: fury, annoyance, rejection, resignation. Everyone looking everywhere except at the one Black general in their midst. It's an amazing shot.

Fun fact: This photo was framed and mounted opposite Avedon's enormous (and famous) portrait of Anderson herself. MMFA's exhibit curator really knew what she was doing. We cats PURR.

Three Little Kittens Want These NATO Mittens

 

By Sniffles

Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney is in Norway observing NATO exercises and sending the message that no malign actor should think of messing with the Arctic. And he got this nifty pair of mittens. (We still need them — it's snowing picturesquely in Montreal right now.)

Back here in Canada, things are looking pretty rosy for Carney's party. The MP for Nunavut, Lori Idlout, crossed the floor from the NDP to join the Liberals, putting them one vote away from a majority in Parliament. Four MPs have changed parties since November, three of them Conservatives. All Carney needs to do now is win two of the three upcoming by-elections, and he'll have 172 seats. (It'll be a thin margin, but Carney will manage his caucus better than Mikey Johnson.)

Conservatives can whine all they want, but they never had a problem when Stephen Harper engineered high-profile floor crossings 20 years ago. It must be frustrating for them, though — Harper was a much stronger leader for them than the hapless and unappealing Pierre Poilievre, whom they picked to head the party even though polls show that a whole lot of Canadians loathe him.

It's the mirror image of where the Liberals are right now. In fact, the word that pollsters are using is "Carneymania." Wherever Justin Trudeau is, that's got to make him smile. We cats PURR.

Clown Show, Clown Shoes

Does anyone know why the Cabinet members didn't just go online and buy Trump's cheap Florsheim shoes in the correct size? Why would grown men be willing to humiliate themselves for Donald? We cats HISS.

Brigadier General (Ret.) Shawn Harris, WOW!

By Hubie and Bertie

Gosh, is Georgia's 14th Congressional District really going to go on our list of possible House flips? Yesterday's special election to replace Marjorie Taylor "I've-Got-My-Pension-So-I-Can-Leave-Now" Greene landed the Democratic candidate, Shawn Harris, in first place. Harris got 37.3 percent to Trump-backed Clayton Fuller's 34.9 percent, with the other Republicans in the race distantly trailing.

So okay, GA-14 was a jungle primary, which meant the GOP vote was split every which way from breakfast. But nevertheless, the Democrat in Taylor Greene's district came in first. Republicans should be spooked even if Fuller ends up winning the runoff on April 7.

Fuller should have come in first since he had Trump's backing. In fact, once Trump endorsed him the other GOP candidates should have immediately dropped out of the race. Isn't that how it's supposed to work in MAGA World? How dare the other Republicans not follow the Donald Decree? Hmmm.

Maybe Trump's influence is fading? After all, if you'd told us a year ago that Greene would be out of Congress and the special election to replace her would give the Democrat the lead, we'd have said you were crazy. But it's 2026, and anything is possible. We cats PURR.

P.S. If you'd like to contribute to Shawn Harris's campaign, click here. (What the heck, why not?)

Now We Have The Whole Set

 

Benedict Donald said, "Cuba will fall very soon. It may not be a friendly takeover." But Baby Marco's on it, as you can see. We cats still miss Tony Blinken, and we HISS and PURR at the same time.

Gas Up, Donald Down

By Miss Kubelik

NBC News is out with a new poll that shows Benedict Donald laboring under a 54 percent disapproval rating. Hmmm. If you ask us, his numbers are probably a lot worse. Oil prices have jumped, the Dow is sinking, and that's on top of the unspeakable images from Dover this weekend. As it turns out, wearing a baseball cap and looking down your pants at a dignified transfer ceremony doesn't go over well.

Trump wants us to believe that the increasing cost of gas is just a "short-term" problem (it isn't), and that it's going to "drop rapidly" (it won't). Since he's always had people driving him around and has never run an errand in his life, it hasn't occurred to him that paying more for gas has far-reaching effects: DoorDash deliverers and folks like plumbers, roofers, housekeepers, and babysitters (in short, anybody who drives to your home to provide a service) are all going to have to jack up their prices. Are you moving this summer? You'll pay extra for the truck that hauls your furniture. Going on vacation? The cost of flying or taking the train is going to climb, too. It's not going to be a pleasant summer.

Republicans are already in a panic about the elections in November. Why else would they refuse to boot Tony Gonzales out of Congress and hope that his decision to retire would suffice? They must preserve that slim majority in the House, even if it means working alongside a guy who sexted a staff member into self-immolation. We cats HISS.

We've Lost Larner. What Do We Do Now?

By Zamboni

You probably don't know Jeremy Larner, who died a few weeks ago. But he wrote one of the best — if not the best — political screenplays of all time. And even though he wrote it back in 1972, it's barely dated. (Young women in miniskirts and straw boaters no longer dance in kick lines at campaign rallies, thank goodness.) That must mean the foibles and outrages of American politics are still true. In fact, they're worse. We cats PURR at Larner for a job well done, and HISS at the rest.

These Are Hilarious, But We Miss Tony Blinken

 

Now all we need is Marco Rubio as Fidel Castro, and we'll have the whole set. We cats PURR.

Noem No More

 

By Baxter

We cats were already feeling pretty good this morning about everybody who showed up for Tuesday's primary in Texas. "Democratic turnout reached record levels, as more voters participated in the party’s primary than in the Republican one," CNN reported. Turnout was strong in North Carolina, too. Excellent!

And then Benedict Donald proved the interwebs rumors right and fired puppy killer Kristi Noem. Fun!

What's even better is that Noem seems to think that "Special Envoy for the Shield of the Americas," which Trump totally made up when he sacked her, is a real job. "Thank you, POTUS!" she tweeted. Donald promised to provide more details about the "shield" soon, but considering his erratic behavior, we think there's a non-zero chance that that announcement never comes.

It's also pretty amusing, if in a grim way, that the media and the tweeters and observers are treating Noem's firing as a Donald decision. Trump is in such bad shape, both physically and mentally, that Stephen Miller is running the joint like no one has since Edith Wilson back in 1919. Gossip has it that Miller highly disapproved of Noem's extramarital nookies with Corey Lewandowski — which is hilarious when you consider who he works for. And Miller no doubt didn't appreciate Noem's stumble back in January, when she said, "Everything I’ve done, I’ve done at the direction of the President and Stephen."

(Speaking of adultery, how long, do you think, before the Noems land in divorce court? "Bryon" can't have been pleased to be a prop at yesterday's House hearing, even though he left before members started asking his wife about fucking Lewandowski on the plane.)

Markwayne Mullin, meanwhile, is a subject for another post. We're holding off because there's also a non-zero chance that his "nomination," if you can call a post on Truth Social that, eventually crumbles. But although the world is better without Noem at DHS, she's done a ton of damage that has to be repaired. And the tragedy is that Trump didn't remove her for her many failures and outrages — he fired her for making him look bad on television. We cats HISS.

Texas Roundup

By Sniffles

The Democratic nominee for US Senate in Texas is a devout young man who calls out evangelical hypocrites with the actual words of Jesus, and wow, do they hate that. That's a side of James Talarico that we cats like a lot. But we do feel bad for Jasmine Crockett. Our hope now is that Texas Democrats have a kiss-and-make-up party like the one Maryland Democrats threw after their combative Senate primary in 2024. (Angela Alsobrooks went on to win the seat in November.)

Meanwhile, Republicans in Texas are a little grumpy that their Senate candidates, incumbent cipher John Cornyn and wildly corrupt MAGAt Ken Paxton, are headed for a runoff. Neither got more than 50 percent of the vote last night, and neither had received an endorsement from Donald Trump. But maybe it'll happen soon. Trump is promising that it will, and he wants whoever he passes over to quit the race.

In other words, Trump is auctioning his endorsement to the highest bidder. Which candidate will promise the most grift and graft in return for Donald's support? (Paxton seems like the likely expert in the field.) On the other hand, who will be more supine in the Senate? (Sounds like Cornyn, hands down.) On top of that, Senate Republicans are agitating for Trump to back Cornyn and put an end to all this.

But why would Paxton drop out? The runoff is May 26 — the Tuesday after the Memorial Day weekend, just tailor-made for a low turnout. Expect the MAGA fervent faithful who adore Ken to be much more motivated to vote that day than Cornyn's jaded elite.

Finally, what will distant-third-place-finisher Wesley Hunt do? If he were smart and kind of diabolical, he would get out in front of Trump and make an endorsement now — particularly if he was annoyed that he didn't earn Trump's support in the first place. It's hard to imagine him lining up behind Cornyn since Cornyn's team blamed its under-50 performance on Hunt's "vanity campaign" (ouch). Think of the mischief Hunt could make! That would make us cats PURR.

Tillis Is Tops (With Caveats)

By Hubie and Bertie

Lots of news in the firehose tonight, but what really stood out for us was Republican Senator Thom Tillis raking puppy killer Kristi Noem over the coals in today's Senate Oversight Committee hearing.

What we really like about it is that Tillis drew a direct line between Noem killing her dog to the lax training of the ICE agents who have detained, abused, and murdered American citizens, in Minnesota and elsewhere. That needed to be done, and was excellent work, Senator! Still, we wish that you and your fellow Republicans would not wait until (like you) you're retiring to call a spade a spade.

Our other question was: Why did Noem come to this Congressional hearing dressed like she was going to a party? Her hair was FOX-News-fluffed-out to the nth degree, she was flashing cleavage, and she was sporting a huge pair of dangling earrings. This is professional? This communicates her dedication to DHS's responsibility to protect Americans' safety? We think not. Please, universe, return us to the days of serious people at the head of serious government agencies, taking Congressional testimony seriously. We cats HISS.

World War Epstein Via De Adder Du Jour

Now we've had four service members killed in Trump's and Netanyahu's war against Iran. The casualty figure should actually be zero — because, well, obviously. Let's hope the American military families getting bad news are comforted that their loved ones died for Donald's shady business empire. We cats HISS.

World War Epstein

By Miss Kubelik

Now that the two Worst Persons Who've Ever Lived have plunged us into a war that nobody voted for (not Congress, not us), people are asking: What is the goal? What's the plan? What's the strategy? (Is there one?)

It's kind of hard to tell, since Benedict Donald hasn't troubled himself to speak to the nation about any of this. In fact, he's been under wraps — he must still be recovering from that endless SOTU.

Unfortunately, however, we cats know what the plan is. It's as obvious as the fake-gold gewgaws currently besmirching every surface of the Oval Office: Decapitate the Revolutionary Guard. Suppress the popular cries for democracy. Instead, install the Shah's son Reza Pahlavi as a puppet president. Once in power, Pahlavi will be free to merrily grift and graft in the finest traditions of Donald Trump.

In return, Trump will get:

• Control of the oil fields,
• Control of the other extraction industries like copper and zinc,
• Control of the Iron, steel, and petrochemical industries,
• Thirty-six miles of Persian Gulf coastline for tourist development, plus golf resort opportunities in the interior, and, of course...
• A shiny new Trump Tower on Pahlavi Square in Tehran.

In short, no nation-building here — just corruption on the scale of an entire national economy. And if anyone tries to claim that the Constitution prevents a President from unilaterally deploying the military to build his business empire, there are five to six justices on the Supreme Court who would probably disagree. We cats HISS.

Posting This Again For No Particular Reason

 

"It Was A Time When Strangers Were Welcome Here"

This is the best way we can think of to salute Neil Sedaka, who left the planet today. Considering the immigrant hate that Trump 2.0 has whipped up and enacted, we can only hope that when Sedaka's fellow octogenarian Neil Diamond checks out — which we hope won't happen soon — his most famous song will be "America." We cats PURR.

Making Excuses

By Zamboni

There sure have been a lot of boys (we won't say "men") twisting themselves into knots to absolve their behavior lately. (Tip: The behavior we're talking about is, um, not great. Or let's just say, bad.)

The latest self-excuser is Brady Tkachuk, who helped lift the US men's team to Olympic gold against Canada last weekend, but who has been mired in the "Everything Trump Touches Dies" syndrome ever since. 

Asked how he could have laughed at Donald's dissing of the US's gold-medal women's team, Tkachuk babbled incoherently. "Honestly, it was just a whirlwind of a moment that (you) can’t really control what somebody says, and it’s just caught (me) off guard a little bit."

That's so, so lame. Especially since the White House just posted an AI video that had Tkachuk calling Canadians a very rude name, and in real life, Brady is captain of the — get ready — Ottawa Senators. (Tkachuk had to admit he's been on the receiving end of a lot of pushback from Sens fans. "It’s a funny feeling when you feel their support every day. And then, within two weeks, you’re public enemy No. 1," he said. Poor Brady! How simply frightful! How humiliating! How delightful!)

The funny thing about the men's players' hemming and hawing is not just that they must realize how Trump played them — and that they got fed McDonald's hamburgers at the White House while the women's team was treated by actor Stanley Tucci to a five-star dinner in Milan.

No, it's also because their frantic apologias closely resemble all the dudes who have been waffling about their ties to Jeffrey Epstein. There are no real apologies — just "regret" that they ever associated with him, and belated references to the suffering of the victims. (Reminds us of the US men's team awkwardly trying to express their respect and admiration for their female counterparts. Doesn't fly, guys.)

We're waiting to be shown men who are worthy of being called men. Who could they be? (Aside from Stanley Tucci, of course.) We cats are willing to entertain suggestions. In the meantime, we HISS.

Gee, Destroying Democracy Really Ages You

 

Chief Justice John Roberts is almost unrecognizable. Like the country will be when he and SCOTUS get done with it. We cats HISS.

Would You Have An Affair With This Man?

By Baxter

Ew, no.

Better yet, would you commit suicide over him? By setting yourself on fire? Good God.

Incredibly, this dude will probably be in the House tonight for Benedict Donald's SOTU. He is Tony Gonzales, Republican of Texas, and he's embroiled in a sex scandal unlike anything we've ever seen. Word has it that Tony first pressured his Congressional aide, Regina Santos-Aviles, for nude pictures via naughty texts, and then eventually coerced her into adultery. (They were both married. Gonzales has six kids.)

Santos-Aviles's husband found out, and trouble ensued. Gonzales ended the affair in June last year, after which Regina ended it all, using one of the most ghastly suicide methods available. Jeez, give us pills any time.

Things have not gone well for Tonykins lately. The affair has rocked his upcoming March 3 primary against a former Republican opponent who almost beat him in 2024. And four conservative House Republicans — Thomas Massie, Lauren Boebert, Anna Paulina Luna, and Nancy Mace — have publicly demanded he resign. (He refuses.) Meanwhile, über-Christian Preacher of the House Mike Johnson, eternally hypocritical as always and worried about his slim majority, refuses to take a position on the resignation. But never fear — Mikey will "discuss the allegations" with Gonzales. Whew, we feel better now!

We're happy to have Tony Gonzales hanging around Republicans' necks for as long as possible. More GOP tsouris in 2026! We cats PURR.

The Bronze Medalist Weighs In

Americans (MAGAts, incels, bots and trolls) have been throwing a lot of insults Canada's way after yesterday's hockey game. They'll never understand that the only thing worse than a sore loser is a sore winner. But here's Finland, come to save the day. We cats PURR.

How A True Leader Uses Social Media

 

"Could not be more proud of you, Team Canada. You're coming home with 21 hard-fought Olympic medals. Though what Canadians will remember most is how you wore the Maple Leaf: with pride, with grit, and with determination."

—Prime Minister Mark Carney

Getting Through The ICE Age

By Sniffles

People in the Northeast might be saying "Oh, f*ck this snow" tonight or tomorrow (we are indoor cats and don't really care). But in New Jersey, they're also saying "F.U.C.K.I.C.E."

The Fight Unlawful Conduct and Keep Individuals and Communities Empowered act, introduced in the state assembly on Thursday, will expand New Jerseyans' rights to sue members of the ICE Gestapo for running roughshod over their constitutional rights.

Good! You may not know that the Garden State has more immigrants than any state in the union except California — and this legislation, if it passes, will help build on Governor Mikie Sherrill's campaign against the Trumpsters' race-profiling roundups. (In her first month, Sherrill signed an executive order forbidding ICE from trying to seize people on state property. She also urged her constituents to record Donald's storm troopers on their smartphones and upload their videos here.)

The legislation's name is amusing, but unsurprising. After all, "F*ck ICE" is the hottest chant at pro wrestling matches these days. If even those folks are mad, so are the rest of us. We cats PURR.

The Proper Response To Today's SCOTUS Ruling

Governor JB Pritzker is demanding that Donald Trump refund $1,700 to every family in Illinois to compensate them for the damage that his disastrous (and unconstitutional) tariffs have done.

Our favorite part? The salutation on the letter purposely leaves out the word "Dear." We cats PURR.

At This Rate, TIME Will Have To Name Jeffrey Epstein Person Of The Year

By Hubie and Bertie

Well, today has been quite the day. The former Prince Andrew, now just plain old Andy Mountbatten-Windsor, celebrated his 66th birthday in the hoosegow after being arrested at the Sandringham Estate for sharing trade secrets with convicted sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein.

Did we really just write that? Sandringham is the royal property where the much-admired King George VI died in 1952. But this morning it was crawling with plainclothes cops who were going through Andrew's desk cubbies, dresser drawers, and goodness knows where else. Whew, it's a good thing that Andrew's sister Princess Anne is a patron of the Butler Trust — a charitable organization that supports the humane operations of UK prisons. (Although weirdly, Anne went through with a previously scheduled royal visit today to a prison in Leeds. Awkward!)

Anyone looking for Epstein accountability has to be a little deflated that Andrew's arrest relates not to the rape of children but to absconding, albeit electronically, with confidential governmental stuff — you know, the kind of thing that Benedict Donald excelled at in paper form (see above), and for which he escaped prosecution only because his useful idiot Judge Aileen Cannon threw out Jack Smith's case.

On the other hand, there may be reason to hope. Andrew's arrest seems like a dangerous moment for everyone in the Epstein Class on this side of the Atlantic who has pretty much managed to skate so far — including Trump, who acted today like a guilty person.

First, it gives Democrats a golden opportunity (which, happily, they have seized) to remind Americans that nobody is above the law and that justice should be pursued here as well. Second, it gives a huge bump to the "Let's Keep Epstein In The News" movement, potential military action against Iran be damned. Third, who knows what information Andrew will give up to save his own skin? King Charles made it clear in his chilly statement today that he'll underbuss his brother to save the House of Windsor. So Andy better spill some beans, and quick.

Meanwhile, how things have changed. We cats remember the days when Andrew was a handsome young prince who valiantly jumped out of helicopters in a fun, Thatcher-y war against Argentina. Now he's a washed up, bloated mug shot. Andrew may try to take comfort in the fact that the last kingly sibling to be dragged off to prison was Elizabeth I, who overcame adversity to reign for 44 years. But on the other hand, the last royal to be arrested but not jailed was Charles I, who was beheaded in 1649. Maybe at this point, the third Charles would be grateful for an ax so he can dispatch Brother Andrew himself. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

De Adder Du Jour

(IMAGE: Michael de Adder, deadder.net)

Robert Duvall, 1931-2026

 

"That Mr. Duvall could become practically whomever he chose was foreshadowed in his first film, To Kill a Mockingbird, a 1962 classic based on Harper Lee’s novel about racial prejudice in a Southern town. He played Boo Radley, the reclusive, hollow-eyed neighbor who fascinates and ultimately rescues the two small children of the defense lawyer Atticus Finch (Gregory Peck).

"As Mr. Duvall’s career flourished in the 1970s and '80s, it surprised many of his fans, on looking back, to discover him in that film. One person apparently not surprised was Harper Lee. When Mr. Duvall landed the part, she sent him a congratulatory telegram. 'Hey, Boo,' she wrote. It was, he said later, his only contact with her."

—The New York Times

"The Power Of The Presidency Is Nothing Compared To The Power Of The People"

Senator Jon Ossoff (D-GA) keeps giving swell speeches. This is from Sunday, at Big Bethel AME Church in Atlanta. You can show Senator Ossoff some love and support by clicking here. We cats PURR.

Points Of Reference

By Miss Kubelik

You know we're not living in normal times when judges keep making nifty source citations in their anti-Trump opinions.

The latest is US District Judge Cynthia Rufe, a George W. Bush appointee, who has just ordered the National Park Service to put back the language about enslaved people that it had deleted from a display at the President's House in Philadelphia.

"As if the Ministry of Truth in George Orwell's 1984 now existed, with its motto 'Ignorance is Strength,' this Court is now asked to determine whether the federal government has the power it claims — to dissemble and disassemble historical truths when it has some domain over historical facts. It does not," she said.

Rufe's decision comes on top of District Judge Richard Leon, who cited Bob Dylan's "Subterranean Homesick Blues" in his scathing smackdown of Pete Hegseth's campaign against Senator Mark Kelly. "This Court has all it needs to conclude that defendants have trampled on Senator Kelly’s First Amendment freedoms and threatened the Constitutional liberties of millions of military retirees," he wrote. "You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows."

And let's not forget Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson, who last summer accused her SCOTUS colleagues of "Calvinball jurisprudence with a twist. This Administration always wins."

Good work! Anything judges can do to draw attention to their rulings against the anti-Constitutional Trumpsters is great. We cats PURR.

(IMAGES: Calvin & Hobbes, by Bill Watterson)

Happy 15th Anniversary At No. 10, Larry The Cat

(IMAGE: Morton Morland, timescartoons.co.uk)

We Also Can't Improve On This

Please contribute to Senator Jon Ossoff's re-election by clicking here. We cats PURR.

We Can't Improve On This

 

Love is in the air! Hope you all had a happy (and healthier than JD Vance) Valentine's Day. We cats PURR.

Melanin Crashes Out

Well, Ilia, we know you're upset, but look at it this way: At least you don't have to decide if you're going to go to what's left of the White House in a few weeks. We cats PURR.

We Are Russia Now

By Zamboni

Is this where we're at in the story of American democracy? A member of Congress, who's the same party as the President, feels compelled to post this message on a widely viewed platform — just in case? It looks like we've entered the Putin-pushing-you-out-a-window phase of Trump 2.0.

If we were reporters, we would shove this in the face of every elected Republican and ask for comment. Maybe especially Lisa Murkowski's, since she said publicly that folks in her party were "all afraid."

You know who wasn't afraid? Renee Good, who told ICE storm trooper Jonathan Ross, "That's okay, dude, I'm not mad at you." And Alex Pretti, who tried to help a woman that his killers had knocked to the ground. But Republican elected officials, Republican thought leaders, Republican ex-Presidents — they're all quaking in their boots, just as Murkowski said. They are pathetic and disgusting.

Take care, Congressman Massie. In a normal world, we don't agree with you on much — but you're doing the right thing on Epstein. (And oh, gosh, we Democrats must win the midterms.) We cats PURR.

Randy Rainbow Channels His Inner Dusty Springfield

 

"Elsie" Fails Again

By Baxter

Public service announcement: Please call or write your Senators and tell them to vote against the so-called SAVE America Act, which will suppress voting rights in November. (It just passed the House.)

Meanwhile, the House has also done something right: It passed a resolution to repeal Benedict Donald's tariffs on Canada. Gee! Guess that means enough of them have realized how much economic pain Trump's tantrums have inflicted on their districts' economies. (For example, Jack Daniel's had to close an entire distillery in Kentucky after Canadians retaliated with a liquor boycott.)

Six Republicans joined Democrats to tank the tariffs: Don Bacon of Nebraska, Kevin Kiley of California, Thomas Massie of Kentucky, Jeff Hurd of Colorado, Brian Fitzpatrick of Pennsylvania, and Dan Newhouse of Washington. It's the first of what promises to be a whole bunch of snap repeals. (Donald's support in the House is cracking as members realize they are facing Armageddon in November.)

Conspicuously missing among the "no" votes is our own Upstate New York representative, Elise "Elsie" Stefanik. She represents the largest land-mass district in the state, which borders Canada and whose economy is significantly affected by Trump's peevishness.

It seems to us that if Elsie genuinely cared about the extended families who live on both sides of the border — if she, with her Kennedy School degree, truly understood the value of the US-Canada relationship on trade, defense, manufacturing, and tourism — then she would have supported this measure.

The fact that she (and the rest of the New York Republican caucus) could not bring themselves to vote "yes" speaks volumes about their false claims of being "bipartisan problem-solvers" and genuine representatives of the people who elect them. And that's the politest thing we can say. We cats HISS.

De Adder Du Jour

 

By Sniffles

All you need to know about the Gordie Howe Bridge — aside from Mark Carney calling Benedict Donald to correct him on the basic facts — is that "Matty" Mouron, the owner of a competing bridge between Detroit and Ontario, met with Jeffrey Epstein pal (and Secretary of Commerce) Howard Lutnick to bitch about the Gordie Howe just hours before Benedict Donald came out against it.

Fun fact: Back in 2018, Trump thought the Gordie Howe Bridge was a swell idea. Surely PM Carney reminded him of that. (And that Canada has paid the entire bill for its construction.) Donald's hissy fit has boosted Canadian confidence and made life more difficult for Michigan Republicans whose names are on the ballot this year.

That's not just for economic reasons. Gordie Howe was Canadian, but he was also a Detroit Red Wings legend, racking up so many great stats and throwing so many elbows that he became known as "Mr. Hockey." Michiganders will not soon forget Trump's insult. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Michael de Adder, deadder.net)

Committee Contretemps

By Hubie and Bertie

Is there any better proof that the Trumpsters have their backs against the wall than Pam Bondi's behavior in front of the House Judiciary Committee today? When you've got nothing, the theory goes, then insult, obstruct, accuse, and yell (aka, "pound the table"). They think this will make the American people forget about Jeffrey Epstein.

Thanks for playing, Team MAGA. The Epstein saga is metastasizing, and Benedict Donald and his perfidious minions can barely keep up. House Democrats — and Kentucky Republican Thomas Massie — hammered Bondi on the Epstein cover-up, forcing her to lose her cool many times. News flash: When you allow yourself to get rattled, you're losing.

Bondi must have known this, though, deep in her heart (or whatever is where her heart ought to be). She had to know that Rep. Pramila Jayapal had boxed her in on apologizing to the Epstein victims. She also had to know that Jayapal had put her front-and-center in what surely will be one of the photos of the decade. (That's a group of Epstein survivors, plus Virginia Giuffre's brother, standing behind Pamela Jo, raising their hands to say that they'd never been asked by DOJ to testify about what Jeffrey did to them.)

Props to Pramila for that — nicely done. And Bondi just got nuttier from there. Donald will surely spend hours lauding her performance on social media tonight, but they have to know they lost the day.

At one point, Bondi called Ranking Member Jamie Raskin "washed up" and "not even a lawyer." Guess again, Blondie. Jamie Raskin is indeed a lawyer, as well as an expert on something Bondi knows nothing about: the US Constitution. Raskin is a graduate of Harvard, which is slightly more respected than (cough, cough) Stetson University College of Law. But true to her alma mater's name, Bondi proved today that she's all hat, no cattle. Meanwhile, the ghost of Jeffrey Epstein isn't going anywhere. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

(PS: Will someone in the Trump orbit please tell Pamela Jo that the Dow is not "over 50,000 dollars"? Thank you.)

A Bad Week For MAGA, And It's Only Monday

By Miss Kubelik

Will somebody tell Benedict Donald that Bad Bunny's spectacular Super Bowl halftime show crushed TPUSA's silly counter-program in the ratings? (Trump might not be surprised, since Bad Bunny was even spotted on screens at the Mar-a-Lago Super Bowl party. Hilarious!)

In more bad news for Trump World today, Pam Bondi is scheduled to testify to the House Judiciary Committee on Wednesday, and it should be quite the show. Ranking member Jamie Raskin (D-MD), who viewed some of the Epstein files today under the substandard conditions in which DOJ made them available, has said that there are plenty of unexplained redactions (and non-redactions), plus breezy chats about trafficking girls as young as nine. So gross. 

The Epstein fallout is causing a storm in the UK, but here in the United States it's more of a slow roll, which actually might be worse. It means a steady drumbeat of Epstein, Epstein, Epstein from now until November. The Trumpsters may have privately decided that their sacrificial lamb might be Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, who has shamelessly lied about his Epstein connections and seems generally universally loathed. But MAGA should be warned: Cutting Lutnick loose won't be enough.

Meanwhile, things keep going not so great for the GOP at large. In Colorado, for example, the state party is deep in debt and its leaders are brawling. Financial woes and kerfuffles are unwelcome at any time, but it's particularly bad for Colorado Republicans given that this year they already have to defend one very flippable House seat, plus two others — Lauren Boebert's previous district, and her current one — that could easily be lost in a wave year.

Closer to (our) home, New York Republicans have more headaches on their hands. Bruce Blakeman, the presumed GOP opponent to Governor Kathy Hochul since Elise "Elsie" Stefanik dropped out of the race, was flatly told by Fulton County Sheriff Richard C. Giardino nope, nope, nopity-nope when he asked Giardino to be his running mate. (So, why float Giardino's name in the first place? This is the kind of stuff that happens when you don't know what you're doing.)

Not to be outdone, up in Elsie's soon-to-be-old Congressional stomping grounds of NY-21, two candidates hoping to replace her are in a cat fight to end all cat fights. Sticker Mule CEO Anthony Constantino has threatened Assemblyman Robert Smullen with a cease-and-desist letter over Smullen's accusations that Constantino is a tax cheat. Sticker Mule Anthony is big, big mad, but Smullen is firing back. "It should come as no surprise that Anthony Constantino is accusing me of lying about his tax record," he said. “This is typical of him. Unfortunately for him, I won’t be intimidated and the facts are clearly on our side."

Way to go, guys. Don't focus on keeping the seat in Mikey Johnson's column — just attack one another viciously during the primary. Speaking for Democrats, we love to see it. We cats PURR.

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