Noem No More

 

By Baxter

We cats were already feeling pretty good this morning about everybody who showed up for Tuesday's primary in Texas. "Democratic turnout reached record levels, as more voters participated in the party’s primary than in the Republican one," CNN reported. Turnout was strong in North Carolina, too. Excellent!

And then Benedict Donald proved the interwebs rumors right and fired puppy killer Kristi Noem. Fun!

What's even better is that Noem seems to think that "Special Envoy for the Shield of the Americas," which Trump totally made up when he sacked her, is a real job. "Thank you, POTUS!" she tweeted. Donald promised to provide more details about the "shield" soon, but considering his erratic behavior, we think there's a non-zero chance that that announcement never comes.

It's also pretty amusing, if in a grim way, that the media and the tweeters and observers are treating Noem's firing as a Donald decision. Trump is in such bad shape, both physically and mentally, that Stephen Miller is running the joint like no one has since Edith Wilson back in 1919. Gossip has it that Miller highly disapproved of Noem's extramarital nookies with Corey Lewandowski — which is hilarious when you consider who he works for. And Miller no doubt didn't appreciate Noem's stumble back in January, when she said, "Everything I’ve done, I’ve done at the direction of the President and Stephen."

(Speaking of adultery, how long, do you think, before the Noems land in divorce court? "Bryon" can't have been pleased to be a prop at yesterday's House hearing, even though he left before members started asking his wife about fucking Lewandowski on the plane.)

Markwayne Mullin, meanwhile, is a subject for another post. We're holding off because there's also a non-zero chance that his "nomination," if you can call a post on Truth Social that, eventually crumbles. But although the world is better without Noem at DHS, she's done a ton of damage that has to be repaired. And the tragedy is that Trump didn't remove her for her many failures and outrages — he fired her for making him look bad on television. We cats HISS.

Texas Roundup

By Sniffles

The Democratic nominee for US Senate in Texas is a devout young man who calls out evangelical hypocrites with the actual words of Jesus, and wow, do they hate that. That's a side of James Talarico that we cats like a lot. But we do feel bad for Jasmine Crockett. Our hope now is that Texas Democrats have a kiss-and-make-up party like the one Maryland Democrats threw after their combative Senate primary in 2024. (Angela Alsobrooks went on to win the seat in November.)

Meanwhile, Republicans in Texas are a little grumpy that their Senate candidates, incumbent cipher John Cornyn and wildly corrupt MAGAt Ken Paxton, are headed for a runoff. Neither got more than 50 percent of the vote last night, and neither had received an endorsement from Donald Trump. But maybe it'll happen soon. Trump is promising that it will, and he wants whoever he passes over to quit the race.

In other words, Trump is auctioning his endorsement to the highest bidder. Which candidate will promise the most grift and graft in return for Donald's support? (Paxton seems like the likely expert in the field.) On the other hand, who will be more supine in the Senate? (Sounds like Cornyn, hands down.) On top of that, Senate Republicans are agitating for Trump to back Cornyn and put an end to all this.

But why would Paxton drop out? The runoff is May 26 — the Tuesday after the Memorial Day weekend, just tailor-made for a low turnout. Expect the MAGA fervent faithful who adore Ken to be much more motivated to vote that day than Cornyn's jaded elite.

Finally, what will distant-third-place-finisher Wesley Hunt do? If he were smart and kind of diabolical, he would get out in front of Trump and make an endorsement now — particularly if he was annoyed that he didn't earn Trump's support in the first place. It's hard to imagine him lining up behind Cornyn since Cornyn's team blamed its under-50 performance on Hunt's "vanity campaign" (ouch). Think of the mischief Hunt could make! That would make us cats PURR.

Tillis Is Tops (With Caveats)

By Hubie and Bertie

Lots of news in the firehose tonight, but what really stood out for us was Republican Senator Thom Tillis raking puppy killer Kristi Noem over the coals in today's Senate Oversight Committee hearing.

What we really like about it is that Tillis drew a direct line between Noem killing her dog to the lax training of the ICE agents who have detained, abused, and murdered American citizens, in Minnesota and elsewhere. That needed to be done, and was excellent work, Senator! Still, we wish that you and your fellow Republicans would not wait until (like you) you're retiring to call a spade a spade.

Our other question was: Why did Noem come to this Congressional hearing dressed like she was going to a party? Her hair was FOX-News-fluffed-out to the nth degree, she was flashing cleavage, and she was sporting a huge pair of dangling earrings. This is professional? This communicates her dedication to DHS's responsibility to protect Americans' safety? We think not. Please, universe, return us to the days of serious people at the head of serious government agencies, taking Congressional testimony seriously. We cats HISS.

World War Epstein Via De Adder Du Jour

Now we've had four service members killed in Trump's and Netanyahu's war against Iran. The casualty figure should actually be zero — because, well, obviously. Let's hope the American military families getting bad news are comforted that their loved ones died for Donald's shady business empire. We cats HISS.

World War Epstein

By Miss Kubelik

Now that the two Worst Persons Who've Ever Lived have plunged us into a war that nobody voted for (not Congress, not us), people are asking: What is the goal? What's the plan? What's the strategy? (Is there one?)

It's kind of hard to tell, since Benedict Donald hasn't troubled himself to speak to the nation about any of this. In fact, he's been under wraps — he must still be recovering from that endless SOTU.

Unfortunately, however, we cats know what the plan is. It's as obvious as the fake-gold gewgaws currently besmirching every surface of the Oval Office: Decapitate the Revolutionary Guard. Suppress the popular cries for democracy. Instead, install the Shah's son Reza Pahlavi as a puppet president. Once in power, Pahlavi will be free to merrily grift and graft in the finest traditions of Donald Trump.

In return, Trump will get:

• Control of the oil fields,
• Control of the other extraction industries like copper and zinc,
• Control of the Iron, steel, and petrochemical industries,
• Thirty-six miles of Persian Gulf coastline for tourist development, plus golf resort opportunities in the interior, and, of course...
• A shiny new Trump Tower on Pahlavi Square in Tehran.

In short, no nation-building here — just corruption on the scale of an entire national economy. And if anyone tries to claim that the Constitution prevents a President from unilaterally deploying the military to build his business empire, there are five to six justices on the Supreme Court who would probably disagree. We cats HISS.

Posting This Again For No Particular Reason

 

"It Was A Time When Strangers Were Welcome Here"

This is the best way we can think of to salute Neil Sedaka, who left the planet today. Considering the immigrant hate that Trump 2.0 has whipped up and enacted, we can only hope that when Sedaka's fellow octogenarian Neil Diamond checks out — which we hope won't happen soon — his most famous song will be "America." We cats PURR.

Making Excuses

By Zamboni

There sure have been a lot of boys (we won't say "men") twisting themselves into knots to absolve their behavior lately. (Tip: The behavior we're talking about is, um, not great. Or let's just say, bad.)

The latest self-excuser is Brady Tkachuk, who helped lift the US men's team to Olympic gold against Canada last weekend, but who has been mired in the "Everything Trump Touches Dies" syndrome ever since. 

Asked how he could have laughed at Donald's dissing of the US's gold-medal women's team, Tkachuk babbled incoherently. "Honestly, it was just a whirlwind of a moment that (you) can’t really control what somebody says, and it’s just caught (me) off guard a little bit."

That's so, so lame. Especially since the White House just posted an AI video that had Tkachuk calling Canadians a very rude name, and in real life, Brady is captain of the — get ready — Ottawa Senators. (Tkachuk had to admit he's been on the receiving end of a lot of pushback from Sens fans. "It’s a funny feeling when you feel their support every day. And then, within two weeks, you’re public enemy No. 1," he said. Poor Brady! How simply frightful! How humiliating! How delightful!)

The funny thing about the men's players' hemming and hawing is not just that they must realize how Trump played them — and that they got fed McDonald's hamburgers at the White House while the women's team was treated by actor Stanley Tucci to a five-star dinner in Milan.

No, it's also because their frantic apologias closely resemble all the dudes who have been waffling about their ties to Jeffrey Epstein. There are no real apologies — just "regret" that they ever associated with him, and belated references to the suffering of the victims. (Reminds us of the US men's team awkwardly trying to express their respect and admiration for their female counterparts. Doesn't fly, guys.)

We're waiting to be shown men who are worthy of being called men. Who could they be? (Aside from Stanley Tucci, of course.) We cats are willing to entertain suggestions. In the meantime, we HISS.

Gee, Destroying Democracy Really Ages You

 

Chief Justice John Roberts is almost unrecognizable. Like the country will be when he and SCOTUS get done with it. We cats HISS.

Would You Have An Affair With This Man?

By Baxter

Ew, no.

Better yet, would you commit suicide over him? By setting yourself on fire? Good God.

Incredibly, this dude will probably be in the House tonight for Benedict Donald's SOTU. He is Tony Gonzales, Republican of Texas, and he's embroiled in a sex scandal unlike anything we've ever seen. Word has it that Tony first pressured his Congressional aide, Regina Santos-Aviles, for nude pictures via naughty texts, and then eventually coerced her into adultery. (They were both married. Gonzales has six kids.)

Santos-Aviles's husband found out, and trouble ensued. Gonzales ended the affair in June last year, after which Regina ended it all, using one of the most ghastly suicide methods available. Jeez, give us pills any time.

Things have not gone well for Tonykins lately. The affair has rocked his upcoming March 3 primary against a former Republican opponent who almost beat him in 2024. And four conservative House Republicans — Thomas Massie, Lauren Boebert, Anna Paulina Luna, and Nancy Mace — have publicly demanded he resign. (He refuses.) Meanwhile, über-Christian Preacher of the House Mike Johnson, eternally hypocritical as always and worried about his slim majority, refuses to take a position on the resignation. But never fear — Mikey will "discuss the allegations" with Gonzales. Whew, we feel better now!

We're happy to have Tony Gonzales hanging around Republicans' necks for as long as possible. More GOP tsouris in 2026! We cats PURR.

The Bronze Medalist Weighs In

Americans (MAGAts, incels, bots and trolls) have been throwing a lot of insults Canada's way after yesterday's hockey game. They'll never understand that the only thing worse than a sore loser is a sore winner. But here's Finland, come to save the day. We cats PURR.

How A True Leader Uses Social Media

 

"Could not be more proud of you, Team Canada. You're coming home with 21 hard-fought Olympic medals. Though what Canadians will remember most is how you wore the Maple Leaf: with pride, with grit, and with determination."

—Prime Minister Mark Carney

Getting Through The ICE Age

By Sniffles

People in the Northeast might be saying "Oh, f*ck this snow" tonight or tomorrow (we are indoor cats and don't really care). But in New Jersey, they're also saying "F.U.C.K.I.C.E."

The Fight Unlawful Conduct and Keep Individuals and Communities Empowered act, introduced in the state assembly on Thursday, will expand New Jerseyans' rights to sue members of the ICE Gestapo for running roughshod over their constitutional rights.

Good! You may not know that the Garden State has more immigrants than any state in the union except California — and this legislation, if it passes, will help build on Governor Mikie Sherrill's campaign against the Trumpsters' race-profiling roundups. (In her first month, Sherrill signed an executive order forbidding ICE from trying to seize people on state property. She also urged her constituents to record Donald's storm troopers on their smartphones and upload their videos here.)

The legislation's name is amusing, but unsurprising. After all, "F*ck ICE" is the hottest chant at pro wrestling matches these days. If even those folks are mad, so are the rest of us. We cats PURR.

The Proper Response To Today's SCOTUS Ruling

Governor JB Pritzker is demanding that Donald Trump refund $1,700 to every family in Illinois to compensate them for the damage that his disastrous (and unconstitutional) tariffs have done.

Our favorite part? The salutation on the letter purposely leaves out the word "Dear." We cats PURR.

At This Rate, TIME Will Have To Name Jeffrey Epstein Person Of The Year

By Hubie and Bertie

Well, today has been quite the day. The former Prince Andrew, now just plain old Andy Mountbatten-Windsor, celebrated his 66th birthday in the hoosegow after being arrested at the Sandringham Estate for sharing trade secrets with convicted sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein.

Did we really just write that? Sandringham is the royal property where the much-admired King George VI died in 1952. But this morning it was crawling with plainclothes cops who were going through Andrew's desk cubbies, dresser drawers, and goodness knows where else. Whew, it's a good thing that Andrew's sister Princess Anne is a patron of the Butler Trust — a charitable organization that supports the humane operations of UK prisons. (Although weirdly, Anne went through with a previously scheduled royal visit today to a prison in Leeds. Awkward!)

Anyone looking for Epstein accountability has to be a little deflated that Andrew's arrest relates not to the rape of children but to absconding, albeit electronically, with confidential governmental stuff — you know, the kind of thing that Benedict Donald excelled at in paper form (see above), and for which he escaped prosecution only because his useful idiot Judge Aileen Cannon threw out Jack Smith's case.

On the other hand, there may be reason to hope. Andrew's arrest seems like a dangerous moment for everyone in the Epstein Class on this side of the Atlantic who has pretty much managed to skate so far — including Trump, who acted today like a guilty person.

First, it gives Democrats a golden opportunity (which, happily, they have seized) to remind Americans that nobody is above the law and that justice should be pursued here as well. Second, it gives a huge bump to the "Let's Keep Epstein In The News" movement, potential military action against Iran be damned. Third, who knows what information Andrew will give up to save his own skin? King Charles made it clear in his chilly statement today that he'll underbuss his brother to save the House of Windsor. So Andy better spill some beans, and quick.

Meanwhile, how things have changed. We cats remember the days when Andrew was a handsome young prince who valiantly jumped out of helicopters in a fun, Thatcher-y war against Argentina. Now he's a washed up, bloated mug shot. Andrew may try to take comfort in the fact that the last kingly sibling to be dragged off to prison was Elizabeth I, who overcame adversity to reign for 44 years. But on the other hand, the last royal to be arrested but not jailed was Charles I, who was beheaded in 1649. Maybe at this point, the third Charles would be grateful for an ax so he can dispatch Brother Andrew himself. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

De Adder Du Jour

(IMAGE: Michael de Adder, deadder.net)

Robert Duvall, 1931-2026

 

"That Mr. Duvall could become practically whomever he chose was foreshadowed in his first film, To Kill a Mockingbird, a 1962 classic based on Harper Lee’s novel about racial prejudice in a Southern town. He played Boo Radley, the reclusive, hollow-eyed neighbor who fascinates and ultimately rescues the two small children of the defense lawyer Atticus Finch (Gregory Peck).

"As Mr. Duvall’s career flourished in the 1970s and '80s, it surprised many of his fans, on looking back, to discover him in that film. One person apparently not surprised was Harper Lee. When Mr. Duvall landed the part, she sent him a congratulatory telegram. 'Hey, Boo,' she wrote. It was, he said later, his only contact with her."

—The New York Times

"The Power Of The Presidency Is Nothing Compared To The Power Of The People"

Senator Jon Ossoff (D-GA) keeps giving swell speeches. This is from Sunday, at Big Bethel AME Church in Atlanta. You can show Senator Ossoff some love and support by clicking here. We cats PURR.

Points Of Reference

By Miss Kubelik

You know we're not living in normal times when judges keep making nifty source citations in their anti-Trump opinions.

The latest is US District Judge Cynthia Rufe, a George W. Bush appointee, who has just ordered the National Park Service to put back the language about enslaved people that it had deleted from a display at the President's House in Philadelphia.

"As if the Ministry of Truth in George Orwell's 1984 now existed, with its motto 'Ignorance is Strength,' this Court is now asked to determine whether the federal government has the power it claims — to dissemble and disassemble historical truths when it has some domain over historical facts. It does not," she said.

Rufe's decision comes on top of District Judge Richard Leon, who cited Bob Dylan's "Subterranean Homesick Blues" in his scathing smackdown of Pete Hegseth's campaign against Senator Mark Kelly. "This Court has all it needs to conclude that defendants have trampled on Senator Kelly’s First Amendment freedoms and threatened the Constitutional liberties of millions of military retirees," he wrote. "You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows."

And let's not forget Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson, who last summer accused her SCOTUS colleagues of "Calvinball jurisprudence with a twist. This Administration always wins."

Good work! Anything judges can do to draw attention to their rulings against the anti-Constitutional Trumpsters is great. We cats PURR.

(IMAGES: Calvin & Hobbes, by Bill Watterson)

Happy 15th Anniversary At No. 10, Larry The Cat

(IMAGE: Morton Morland, timescartoons.co.uk)

We Also Can't Improve On This

Please contribute to Senator Jon Ossoff's re-election by clicking here. We cats PURR.

We Can't Improve On This

 

Love is in the air! Hope you all had a happy (and healthier than JD Vance) Valentine's Day. We cats PURR.

Melanin Crashes Out

Well, Ilia, we know you're upset, but look at it this way: At least you don't have to decide if you're going to go to what's left of the White House in a few weeks. We cats PURR.

We Are Russia Now

By Zamboni

Is this where we're at in the story of American democracy? A member of Congress, who's the same party as the President, feels compelled to post this message on a widely viewed platform — just in case? It looks like we've entered the Putin-pushing-you-out-a-window phase of Trump 2.0.

If we were reporters, we would shove this in the face of every elected Republican and ask for comment. Maybe especially Lisa Murkowski's, since she said publicly that folks in her party were "all afraid."

You know who wasn't afraid? Renee Good, who told ICE storm trooper Jonathan Ross, "That's okay, dude, I'm not mad at you." And Alex Pretti, who tried to help a woman that his killers had knocked to the ground. But Republican elected officials, Republican thought leaders, Republican ex-Presidents — they're all quaking in their boots, just as Murkowski said. They are pathetic and disgusting.

Take care, Congressman Massie. In a normal world, we don't agree with you on much — but you're doing the right thing on Epstein. (And oh, gosh, we Democrats must win the midterms.) We cats PURR.

Randy Rainbow Channels His Inner Dusty Springfield

 

"Elsie" Fails Again

By Baxter

Public service announcement: Please call or write your Senators and tell them to vote against the so-called SAVE America Act, which will suppress voting rights in November. (It just passed the House.)

Meanwhile, the House has also done something right: It passed a resolution to repeal Benedict Donald's tariffs on Canada. Gee! Guess that means enough of them have realized how much economic pain Trump's tantrums have inflicted on their districts' economies. (For example, Jack Daniel's had to close an entire distillery in Kentucky after Canadians retaliated with a liquor boycott.)

Six Republicans joined Democrats to tank the tariffs: Don Bacon of Nebraska, Kevin Kiley of California, Thomas Massie of Kentucky, Jeff Hurd of Colorado, Brian Fitzpatrick of Pennsylvania, and Dan Newhouse of Washington. It's the first of what promises to be a whole bunch of snap repeals. (Donald's support in the House is cracking as members realize they are facing Armageddon in November.)

Conspicuously missing among the "no" votes is our own Upstate New York representative, Elise "Elsie" Stefanik. She represents the largest land-mass district in the state, which borders Canada and whose economy is significantly affected by Trump's peevishness.

It seems to us that if Elsie genuinely cared about the extended families who live on both sides of the border — if she, with her Kennedy School degree, truly understood the value of the US-Canada relationship on trade, defense, manufacturing, and tourism — then she would have supported this measure.

The fact that she (and the rest of the New York Republican caucus) could not bring themselves to vote "yes" speaks volumes about their false claims of being "bipartisan problem-solvers" and genuine representatives of the people who elect them. And that's the politest thing we can say. We cats HISS.

De Adder Du Jour

 

By Sniffles

All you need to know about the Gordie Howe Bridge — aside from Mark Carney calling Benedict Donald to correct him on the basic facts — is that "Matty" Mouron, the owner of a competing bridge between Detroit and Ontario, met with Jeffrey Epstein pal (and Secretary of Commerce) Howard Lutnick to bitch about the Gordie Howe just hours before Benedict Donald came out against it.

Fun fact: Back in 2018, Trump thought the Gordie Howe Bridge was a swell idea. Surely PM Carney reminded him of that. (And that Canada has paid the entire bill for its construction.) Donald's hissy fit has boosted Canadian confidence and made life more difficult for Michigan Republicans whose names are on the ballot this year.

That's not just for economic reasons. Gordie Howe was Canadian, but he was also a Detroit Red Wings legend, racking up so many great stats and throwing so many elbows that he became known as "Mr. Hockey." Michiganders will not soon forget Trump's insult. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Michael de Adder, deadder.net)

Committee Contretemps

By Hubie and Bertie

Is there any better proof that the Trumpsters have their backs against the wall than Pam Bondi's behavior in front of the House Judiciary Committee today? When you've got nothing, the theory goes, then insult, obstruct, accuse, and yell (aka, "pound the table"). They think this will make the American people forget about Jeffrey Epstein.

Thanks for playing, Team MAGA. The Epstein saga is metastasizing, and Benedict Donald and his perfidious minions can barely keep up. House Democrats — and Kentucky Republican Thomas Massie — hammered Bondi on the Epstein cover-up, forcing her to lose her cool many times. News flash: When you allow yourself to get rattled, you're losing.

Bondi must have known this, though, deep in her heart (or whatever is where her heart ought to be). She had to know that Rep. Pramila Jayapal had boxed her in on apologizing to the Epstein victims. She also had to know that Jayapal had put her front-and-center in what surely will be one of the photos of the decade. (That's a group of Epstein survivors, plus Virginia Giuffre's brother, standing behind Pamela Jo, raising their hands to say that they'd never been asked by DOJ to testify about what Jeffrey did to them.)

Props to Pramila for that — nicely done. And Bondi just got nuttier from there. Donald will surely spend hours lauding her performance on social media tonight, but they have to know they lost the day.

At one point, Bondi called Ranking Member Jamie Raskin "washed up" and "not even a lawyer." Guess again, Blondie. Jamie Raskin is indeed a lawyer, as well as an expert on something Bondi knows nothing about: the US Constitution. Raskin is a graduate of Harvard, which is slightly more respected than (cough, cough) Stetson University College of Law. But true to her alma mater's name, Bondi proved today that she's all hat, no cattle. Meanwhile, the ghost of Jeffrey Epstein isn't going anywhere. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

(PS: Will someone in the Trump orbit please tell Pamela Jo that the Dow is not "over 50,000 dollars"? Thank you.)

A Bad Week For MAGA, And It's Only Monday

By Miss Kubelik

Will somebody tell Benedict Donald that Bad Bunny's spectacular Super Bowl halftime show crushed TPUSA's silly counter-program in the ratings? (Trump might not be surprised, since Bad Bunny was even spotted on screens at the Mar-a-Lago Super Bowl party. Hilarious!)

In more bad news for Trump World today, Pam Bondi is scheduled to testify to the House Judiciary Committee on Wednesday, and it should be quite the show. Ranking member Jamie Raskin (D-MD), who viewed some of the Epstein files today under the substandard conditions in which DOJ made them available, has said that there are plenty of unexplained redactions (and non-redactions), plus breezy chats about trafficking girls as young as nine. So gross. 

The Epstein fallout is causing a storm in the UK, but here in the United States it's more of a slow roll, which actually might be worse. It means a steady drumbeat of Epstein, Epstein, Epstein from now until November. The Trumpsters may have privately decided that their sacrificial lamb might be Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, who has shamelessly lied about his Epstein connections and seems generally universally loathed. But MAGA should be warned: Cutting Lutnick loose won't be enough.

Meanwhile, things keep going not so great for the GOP at large. In Colorado, for example, the state party is deep in debt and its leaders are brawling. Financial woes and kerfuffles are unwelcome at any time, but it's particularly bad for Colorado Republicans given that this year they already have to defend one very flippable House seat, plus two others — Lauren Boebert's previous district, and her current one — that could easily be lost in a wave year.

Closer to (our) home, New York Republicans have more headaches on their hands. Bruce Blakeman, the presumed GOP opponent to Governor Kathy Hochul since Elise "Elsie" Stefanik dropped out of the race, was flatly told by Fulton County Sheriff Richard C. Giardino nope, nope, nopity-nope when he asked Giardino to be his running mate. (So, why float Giardino's name in the first place? This is the kind of stuff that happens when you don't know what you're doing.)

Not to be outdone, up in Elsie's soon-to-be-old Congressional stomping grounds of NY-21, two candidates hoping to replace her are in a cat fight to end all cat fights. Sticker Mule CEO Anthony Constantino has threatened Assemblyman Robert Smullen with a cease-and-desist letter over Smullen's accusations that Constantino is a tax cheat. Sticker Mule Anthony is big, big mad, but Smullen is firing back. "It should come as no surprise that Anthony Constantino is accusing me of lying about his tax record," he said. “This is typical of him. Unfortunately for him, I won’t be intimidated and the facts are clearly on our side."

Way to go, guys. Don't focus on keeping the seat in Mikey Johnson's column — just attack one another viciously during the primary. Speaking for Democrats, we love to see it. We cats PURR.

Give This Clever Account A Follow

 

"Some People Happen To Live In Times And At Places Where History Is Made"

Wow, team, this is a truly great speech. Totally worth 30 minutes of your time. It sets the stage for 2026. We cats PURR.

It's -6F Right Now, But Things Are Warm And Friendly For Kathy Hochul

Just a quick follow-up on our Kathy Hochul post: What a difference a year makes. Once, Hochul could do nothing right in the media's eyes. Now she's getting cutesy memes and reposts. We cats PURR.

Example For The World

This message hangs in the Olympic workout space for Team Canada. We cats approve, and we PURR.

We Don't Really Care About The Olympics, But

 

It's totally swell that the US athletes got applause, and that JD Vance was booed. Well done!

Meanwhile, here is Prime Minister Mark Carney's message to Team Canada. We cats aren't really into the Olympics, but we still hope that the games show the world two things: Federal democracies produce great accomplishments and great people. We cats PURR.

Just Posting This For No Reason Whatsoever

Note to the Obamas: Silence is not your best option. We know you usually refrain, but this time, please say something. We cats PURR.

Donny-Brook

By Zamboni

It's pretty amusing how Republicans who are electorally vulnerable in the fall have raced to condemn Trump's posting last night of the Obamas as apes. And how, after Karoline Leavitt scolded all of us for being upset about nothing earlier today, the White House has not only walked it back but changed its story several times.

Benedict Donald, who has been famously racist for decades, now says he told an anonymous "staffer" to post the offending video, but that he didn't see the whole thing before he gave the order. Hmm. Why would you tell your team to publish something without having viewed it yourself? Never mind — all excuses from Team Trump are total crap.

But let's take this seriously for a moment: Does Donald have control over his social media account, or not? We've all seen how, um, not there Trump is these days. Is there a small group of people (Miller, Cheung, unnamed "staffers") who also have access? If so, who are those people, exactly? And do they have clearance to access and disseminate messages on one of the world's most followed social media accounts? And if they do, will they continue to?

After all, and let's extrapolate here: Couldn't this anonymous "staffer," in the middle of a squiffy night, post something like an image of, say, the Prophet Muhammad fucking a sheep — after which the entire Arab world would declare war on the United States? Which could, seriously, end in some kind of nuclear war? Just spitballing here.

Meanwhile, this is just more pain that Trump is inflicting on Republicans who are already looking at total obliteration in November. And all those endangered Republicans who are grateful that the White House took the image down? They should only be in the clear when Trump apologizes for his racist shit. (Alaska Senator Dan Sullivan, we're looking at you.) We cats are disgusted at it all, and we HISS.

P.S. If Senator Tim Scott is truly offended by this Obama post, he could — as Chairman of the Senate Banking Committee — refuse to hold hearings on Federal Reserve nominee Kevin Warsh until Donald apologizes. If Scott is your Senator, maybe call or email him.

Hochul Ascendant

By Baxter

We cats are very pleased with our New York Governor, Kathy Hochul.

Of course, we kinda always knew that she would end up in the place she's in now. But her canny sense of all things political received official recognition today by The Grey Lady herself, The New York Times, which has essentially dubbed her The Comeback Kathy.

"With the election nine months away, Ms. Hochul is heading to Syracuse for the State Democratic Party convention on Friday in a somewhat surprising position of strength," the Times reports in its inimitable, New York Times-y way. The paper observes that Hochul's Republican opponents — most prominently, Elise "Elsie" Stefanik — have melted away like the Wicked Witch of the West. Her Democratic primary opponent, Antonio Delgado, is behind by 50 points (yep, 50). And the presumed GOP nominee for Governor, Bruce Blakeman, just committed political suicide by criticizing Renee Good and defending ICE.

Hochul has also handled the emergence of socialist New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani with patience and savvy, partnering with him on issues she cares about, like child care. And it earned her his endorsement for re-election yesterday. If Republicans and the political press were hoping for a Mamdani-Hochul foofaraw, they're out of luck.

But on top of all this good news, we've noticed something else: Thanks to Trumpism, Governor Hochul has been able to embrace a persona she wasn't particularly known for as either a Congresswoman or Lt. Governor — the Feisty Gal From Buffalo. This has manifested itself both IRL and online (see above). Most excellent, Gov! We don't know if you've hired away some of Gavin Newsom's social media team members — but whatever, please keep it up. We cats PURR.

De Adder Du Jour

You may have heard desperate rumors that the Moose & Squirrel movie is pulling in money. Don't believe them. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Michael de Adder, deadder.net)

Postively Nobelicious

By Sniffles

What a great idea: The progressive news site The Nation has nominated the people of Minneapolis for the 2026 Nobel Peace Prize.

And why not? Minneapolis has been under siege from ICE for months now, and has seen two of its citizens murdered, in broad daylight and on video — which means the rest of the country has seen it, too. At one point, it seemed a very dicey possibility that the city would respond the way Trump and his Nazi minions were hoping: with rioting and violence and disorder, so they could invoke the Insurrection Act. Nope!

Instead, Minneapolitans not only protested peacefully, they kicked their George Floyd and COVID networks back into action to support their immigrant communities. They've grocery shopped for people too afraid to go out, shepherded kids to school, patronized local businesses, and most importantly, they have continued to shadow ICE activities in their neighborhoods and record them, for now and for posterity.

How wonderful it would be if Benedict Donald didn't get the Peace Prize, but Minneapolis did. Love it! We've had our differences with The Nation over the years (actually, decades), but in this case we can only say, well done, lads. We cats PURR.

ETTD*

By Hubie and Bertie

In all the coverage of the latest Kennedy Center debacle, has anybody brought up the fact that the National Symphony Orchestra is royally screwed? After multiple artists and productions flaked off, and even when Philip Glass canceled the June premiere of his Lincoln symphony, the music director of the NSO said, "We're staying."

The orchestra's board chair was even more emphatic. "We are going to make this work," she said. "I was born in Washington, grew up with the Kennedy Center, grew up in the NSO, and I can’t let it disappear. We will make it through this." Well, oops.

The Kennedy Center shutdown is nothing to celebrate, for sure. But despite all of Benedict Donald's bravado about "Construction, Revitalization, and Complete Rebuilding" (capitalizations his), we all know the real reason. Everyone walked. "Instead of just commanding performances — which they can't do — the Trump people are closing it down and slinking away," writer Tom Nichols skeeted on Bluesky.

But what about the NSO? Their Kennedy Center funding will continue, but where will they play? We cats have a suggestion: DAR Constitution Hall, their old stomping grounds. Even better, it's a private venue, so the Trumpsters can't touch it.

In the bad old days of segregation, the DAR barred Marian Anderson and Paul Robeson from performing there. (Their insult to Anderson turned out badly for them, though, with a little help from Eleanor Roosevelt.) But that shameful history just makes it totes nifty to have Glass's Lincoln symphony premiere there. We cats like the idea, and we PURR.

*Everything Trump Touches Dies

GOP: "Fort Worth, We Have A Problem"

By Miss Kubelik

Another special election, another jaw-dropping Democratic overperformance. This time, in Tarrant County, Texas.

Benedict Donald must have been worried, because he phoned in last-minute endorsements of the GOP candidate for State Senate District 9. Really? Trump has to tear himself away from his ballroom plans to rush out a statement of support for a Republican in Texas?

The thing is, it didn't work. The Democrat, Taylor Rehmet, squished Repub Leigh Wambsganss by an Abigail-Spanbergerish margin of 15 points. (!) Just for the record, District 9 isn't pink, or rose, or light red — it's deep, dark, ruby, blood-red. It went for Benedict Donald by 17 points in 2024. The Hill, not a publication known for its fondness for our side, called the result "stunning" and a "shock upset."

Well, we don't know about "shock." Team Rehmet obviously worked to get their vote out. And maybe folks in this district who normally vote Republican didn't this time. Or both. But it's not like the GOP hasn't had warning bells clanging like mad in all the latest public opinion polls. Perhaps they just covered their ears? We cats PURR.

Cool Hand Carney

By Zamboni

This is a super-duper speech.

We cats wish we had come up with the Heated Rivalry concept before anybody else did. But we didn't, so the laurels go to the true creators. No harm, no foul — let's all celebrate its success.

Meanwhile, we're happy to have Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney riding the wave the Crave series' popularity — something that the leader of the opposition couldn't do. Can you picture the ever-Trumpy Pierre Poilievre being comfortable with a show that celebrates gay love?

Nah, we can't, either. But the buttoned-up economist who's been to Davos 30 times? No problem. We cats PURR.

"The Streets Of Minneapolis"

 

This has gotten 4,611,579 views on YouTube so far — roughly one out of every 75 Americans. Well done, Bruce. We cats PURR.

Mark Your Calendars

Here's the date of the next national No Kings demonstration day, so start planning now. Registration isn't open yet, but we cats will share the info as soon as we get it. In the meantime, we PURR.

The Whole World Is Watching

We wake with no words, just woe & wound.

Our own country shooting us in the back is not just brutality; it's jarring betrayal; not enforcement, but execution. A message: Love your people & you will die. Yet our greatest threat isn't the outsiders among us, but those among us who never look within.

Fear not those without papers, but those without conscience. Know that to care intensively, united, is to carry both the pain-dark horror for today & a profound, daring hope for tomorrow.

We can feel we have nothing to give, & still belove this world waiting, trembling to change. If we cannot find words, may we find the will; if we ever lose hope, may we never lose our humanity.

The only undying thing is mercy, the courage to open ourselves like doors, hug our neighbor, & save one more bright, impossible life.

—For Alex Jeffrey Pretti, Murdered by ICE January 24, 2026

by Amanda Gorman

Mood.

Looks like the White House is turning tail in Minneapolis. They aren't even calling the VA nurse they executed a "would-be assassin" anymore. Have they finally figured out that they can't lie about what Americans are seeing with their own eyes? Don't assume the best about these Trumpsters, but they appear to be retreating, at least for now.

But this isn't over. We cats are waiting for the next awful thing to happen. Meanwhile, we HISS and PURR at the same time.

De Adder Du Jour

 

(IMAGE: Michael de Adder, deadder.net)

In Cold Blood

By Baxter

Since we cats last posted, Benedict Donald's masked J6 cosplayers have murdered another Minnesotan. The Trumpsters wasted no time trashing the reputation of the victim, VA nurse Alex Pretti. And Pam Bondi went so far as to send an extortion letter to Governor Tim Walz, saying ICE would leave his state if he'd hand over his voter-roll database, among other ridiculous demands. Fat chance, Pamela Jo.

But other than those predictable Trumpy outrages, things are developing a little differently this time.

It's not just that more than 100 House Democrats have called for Kristi Noem's impeachment — or that the government funding bill, just passed by the House and which includes funding for DHS and ICE, appears to be DOA in the Senate. And it's not just that former Presidents Bill Clinton and Barack Obama have both issued statements calling for everyone to stand up for American democracy. Now, a lot of folks from the other side of the aisle have joined the chorus, too.

Republicans like Governor Kevin Stitt of Oklahoma and Governor Phil Scott of Vermont, Senator Pete Ricketts (a huge Donald fan) and his colleagues Lisa Murkowski, Susan Collins, Thom Tillis and Bill Cassidy — plus Representatives James Comer (House Oversight committee chair!), Andrew Gabarino (Homeland Security committee chair!), Michael McFaul of Texas, and Thomas Massie of Kentucky — have all, in the wake of the Pretti killing, peeled away from Trump.

Those are the Republicans we've been able to ID so far. We expect there will be more — heck, even the Gun Owners of America have stepped up to the plate. When you've lost the 2A crowd, you're losing.

Is Donald worried? He should be, but he's too busy tweeting about his ballroom and holding a command screening at what's left of the White House of the absurd new documentary about Moose & Squirrel (which is about the lay a big egg at the box office). You can only assume that President-In-All-But-Name Stephen Miller is calling the shots. And it looks like they may — may — be starting to fold. The Wall Street Journal reports that Trump suddenly seems willing to fold his tent in Minneapolis. "At some point we will leave," he said.

That's TACO for you. But why did two Minnesotans have to die? Couldn't Republicans have started pushing back earlier, and maybe have saved some lives? We cats are disgusted, and we HISS.

One Of The Best Things About Canada's National Identity? Trump Is Irrelevant.

Canada's global profile was elevated this week — mostly thanks to Prime Minister Mark Carney's speech in Davos. But we also have to give Benedict Donald his due. Thank you, Trump, for being such a buffoon that the rest of the world ("Board of Peace" suckers exempted) finally got the permission structure to push back. We cats PURR.

ICE OUT

By Sniffles

This photo from Minnesota is wonderful and heartbreaking at the same time. If you know, you know.

It's encouraging, though, that as we cats dictate this blog post to our human typist, thousands of people in Minneapolis are braving minus-10F temperatures in a giant protest against Benedict Donald, JD Vance, Stephen Miller, Kristi Noem, Greg Bovino, and all their evil storm troopers from ICE.

The march is on top of today's General Strike, which saw hundreds of Minneapolis businesses closing their doors on a "Day of Truth and Freedom." One coffee shop stayed open, but only so they could serve hot drinks and croissants to protesters free of charge. Nice!

Although it's sure to cause another emotional reaction from Team Trump, Minnesotans' continued peaceful resistance is just the latest episode in Donald's humiliating week. Following his Big Fail at Davos — and the paltry turnout for his "Board of Peace" (did our Western allies hate the $1 billion dues or the awful logo more?) — his bought-and-paid-for Supreme Court may be on the verge of ruling against him on 1) tariffs and 2) Lisa Cook. Wouldn't it be loverly? We cats PURR.

Also Seen In Davos This Week

Benedict Donald arrived in Switzerland for the Economic Forum, and nobody was there to greet him. Then he gave a speech that stunk up the room. And finally, the star of the meeting, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney, left without so much as crossing Trump's path. All that was before Donald caved on the tariffs. Sad! We cats PURR.

Seen In Davos This Week

 

"As President Trump began his news conference stateside...in Davos, we spotted the words NO KINGS — in all caps — glowing on the mountainside overlooking the World Economic Forum site."

—Peter Alexander, NBC News

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Foreign Policy Mishegoss Edition

By Hubie and Bertie

The world's attention is on Davos, Switzerland, this week, as Benedict Donald continues to threaten Greenland and French prez Macron and others push back. But what everybody really wants to know is, what's with the lunettes de soleil? Is Macron channeling his inner Dark Brandon? (LOL — apparently it's some minor eye infection. Or he figured out a nifty way to steal the spotlight from certain hoggers of same.)

Whatever the reason, here are some of our initial impressions from Davos Day Two:

The forum's star today was definitely Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney. Yep, we know we're prejudiced when it comes to our Neighbor to the North, but jeez — it was so smart of Canada to put a hardheaded economist in charge just as Trump started rampaging about tariffs and takeovers. Carney's speech, which quoted Václav Havel's Power of the Powerless essay, brilliantly placed Havel's theory of "living the lie" squarely into the international conundrums of 2026:

"The system's power comes not from its truth but from everyone's willingness to perform as if it were true. And its fragility comes from the same source: When even one person stops performing...the illusion begins to crack." In short, Western powers, stop assuming Trump's behavior is normal, and act accordingly.

We cats don't know about you, but any major economic speech that quotes Václav Havel is a-okay by us.

Meanwhile, back in Berlin Washington, Donald spent two hours at the White House lectern rambling on about — well, about what, exactly? All we know is that at some point this afternoon, thought leaders we follow on social media began posting things like "Every network in America should be carrying this right now. People need to see the condition their President is in." Gosh, what's going to happen when he speaks in Davos? And will Jake Tapper write a book about it? (Nah.)

So, lots and lots going on. But a thought occurred to us: Is Donald acting like a maniac because Jack Smith is testifying to Congress in public on Thursday? We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

MLK Day: More Relevant Than Ever

Martin Luther King's principles of nonviolence against injustice can be tough to follow — especially these days. But Minnesotans (and the rest of us) must follow them. We cats PURR.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Things Are Bad, But Could Be Worse, Edition

By Miss Kubelik

So much going on in the news these days — the usual firehose, actually. But here are the stories that got our attention today.

Larry the Cat, feline guardsman of No. 10 Downing Street, has turned 19. That's an advanced age for our species, so we hope that the Labour government has prepared a succession plan for when (God forbid) Larry crosses the Rainbow Bridge. In the meantime, Nico Carney, "Purr Minister" of Canada, has convened a birthday celebration at Rideau Cottage in Ottawa. (They're probably also saluting PM Mark Carney's end run around Benedict Donald with his trade trip to China. Ha!)

The Trumpsters are trying to intimidate Minnesota Governor Tim Walz and Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey with "criminal investigations" against them. If only they would put half the effort into defending the Constitution, right? It seems that Walz and Frey are undeterred — as they should be. Why do we think that the only people benefiting from all this nonsense are lawyers?

Abigail Spanberger has been sworn in as Virginia's first woman Governor. This is a great day — not just because it's the end of the era of fleecy-vest asshole Glenn Youngkin, but because Spanberger sprang immediately out of the gate by: 1) telling multiple Trumpy members of the University of Virginia Board of Visitors to resign, and 2) presiding over the redistricting of the Commonwealth CDs to cut Republicans down to one seat. Spanberger is a centrist, national-security Democrat, but she will brook no GOP bullshit. Love it!

Finally, did you know that Denmark's sovereignty over Greenland was reaffirmed in a post-9/11 agreement back in 2004?

Yes! The Igaliku Agreement recognized Greenland's Home Rule government as a partner in matters of defense, solidifying Danish control while also granting Greenlanders more say in US military activities. You know who was President then? Yep, it was George W. "Smirky" Bush — and it would be nice if he would step out and say something about Benedict Donald today. But since Bush was the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived before Trump was, perhaps we can't expect him to behave like a statesman? We cats HISS.