And We Haven't Even Asked Why Marco Rubio Hasn't Resigned

By Miss Kubelik

Did you wonder why the Trumpsters were so hell-bent on seizing the approved list of press pool members from the White House Correspondents Association? Well, here's your answer: TASS was in the Oval Office for the Zelenskyy ambush today. 

In short, America, if you were ever foggy on whether our country has become a satellite state of Vladimir Putin's, today should remove any doubt. OMG, how fast is Ronnie Reagan spinning in his grave?

Following this afternoon's pathetic and repulsive theater in the Oval Office, every democratic country in Europe and the world is lining up behind President Zelenskyy. "For three years now, Ukrainians have fought with courage and resilience," Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau posted on social media. "Their fight for democracy, freedom and sovereignty is a fight that matters to us all."

In short, the United States has been weakened and embarrassed on the global stage. But will that matter to ordinary Americans? Or will they only care about the price of eggs?

Two important things happened today. One, that Donald Trump and JD Vance were fully exposed for the repulsive Russian tools they are. Americans might not understand all the ins and outs of geopolitics, but they definitely get the concept of good guys versus bad guys. And for the last three years, Zelenskyy has clearly been a good guy.

The other thing? Trump and Vance made clear that they are Vladimir Putin's stooges. The rest of the world already knew this. But with today's video, Americans clearly know it now.

These are important points, and clearly worth the time and trouble that Zelenskyy took to travel to Washington to make them. The bottom line is that bullies do not like it when you push back. The fact that Zelenskyy did it, in a hostile milieu and in a language not his own, and yet ate Trump's and Vance's lunch, is testimony to his status as a badass. We cats salute him, and we PURR.

On The Bright Side

Donald Trump's abuse has not only angered Canadians but made them re-embrace their Canadianness. They recently marked the 60th anniversary of the maple leaf flag. What previously might have been a ho-hum event (Canadians are not particularly known for chest-thumping patriotism) turned out to be a flag-laden day of pride. We cats PURR.

(PHOTO: Patrick Doyle, Reuters)

The Un-Great One

By Zamboni

It looks like the repercussions from Benedict Donald's wacky desire to make Canada our "51st state" are finally getting noticed.

As in, American journalists are realizing that Trump is driving the Trumpy Canadian Conservatives right into the ground.

Just weeks ago, the Tories and their wildly unappealing leader, Pierre Poilièvre, were poised to take power after nine years of Liberal rule. Prime Minister Justin Trudeau appeared well past his sell-by date, and voters were restive — polls had PP and the Tories ahead by as much as 26 points. And then Trump came back to Washington, and "le monde à l'envers," as they say in Quebec. Every time Trump opens his mouth, he does PP more damage. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Now it's become clear that Donald has done the same thing to Wayne Gretzky. Of course, Gretzky has helped, big time. He was at Mar-a-Lago for the victory party in November, and attended the scaled-down inauguration with his badly face-lifted wife. (Actually, both Gretzkys appear to have used the same ham-handed plastic surgeon.) And although Gretzky was named Companion of the Order of Canada in 2009, he's never traveled to Ottawa to accept the honor. What's that about?

Then, this month, he put in a perfunctory appearance at the 4 Nations Face Off — looking quite put upon by the simple duties he had to fulfill as honorary captain for Team Canada. "Gretzky walked onto the ice from the Team USA bench and gave a thumbs-up to the American players while dressed in blue," The Montreal Gazette reported. (A few hours later, ha ha, Canada won the championship in overtime.)

But bad as Gretzky's behavior has been, Trump does him no favors when he says stuff like "I have so many great friends. One of them is The Great One. I said, 'Run for prime minister, you’ll win. It will take two seconds.' He said, 'Well, am I gonna run for prime minister or governor? You tell me.' I said, 'I dunno, let’s make it Governor. I like that better.'" It's gotten to the point where fans in Edmonton are so pissed off they're petitioning to take Gretzky's name off a local freeway and have his statue removed from Rogers Place, the Oilers' home venue.

Gretzky's wife says that "It has broken his heart to read and see the mean comments." These MAGA morons — they're always the victims, aren't they? But let them whine, because it's hard to see how all this pulls Poilièvre and the Conservatives out of their plummeting polls. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

(IMAGE: By Terry Mosher, a.k.a. Aislin, The Montreal Gazette)

Dear Jeff Bezos

Dear Jeff,

How are you? Just a note to ask if you caught "All the President's Men" on Turner Classic Movies the other night. Did you? If so, you must be proud of how thoroughly you've managed to destroy The Washington Post, and so efficiently, too! Your announcement today that the Post's opinion page will now only publish pieces supporting "personal liberties and free markets" was just icing on the cake.

So, Jeff, does that mean that you'll be soliciting a ton of op-eds supporting abortion rights? Bodily autonomy certainly falls under the umbrella of "personal liberties." Ditto smoking weed, right? Surely you'll be publishing columns urging states to legalize not just medical but also recreational marijuana. How about medical aid in dying? Having control over your end-of-life decisions qualifies as a personal liberty, too, yes? We're looking forward to reading these upcoming thought-provokers.

Except, wait — we canceled our longtime subscription last fall, when you spiked the Kamala Harris endorsement for President. So no, we won't be reading anything in the Post — and of course, you won't be publishing them either, will you? Your Goebbels-like statement made it pretty clear that you won't even consider printing anybody who doesn't agree with you that Trump is God, and that the only reason we're on this earth is to make more and more and more money — for ourselves.

But gosh, Jeff, what a dumb business decision! You're supposed to be "Mr. Amazon," so smart. You've already chased away a ton of writing and editing talent, and hoo boy, have you done it now. It's not a good sign when Philip Bump, your still-current Post columnist who enjoys a national reputation for excellence, skeets "What the actual fuck" on social media. And what will the ever-insipid Ruth Marcus do? What about chuckler-in-chief Eugene Robinson? Will they stay, or will they go?

You know, Jeff, the Washington metropolitan area used to be served by two great newspapers — your Post, and The Baltimore Sun. Now they're both right-wing rags. Disgusting. On the bright side, why not sell? Getting out of the pesky newspaper business so you can focus on your pathetically phallic Blue Origin rockets might be the way to go. But do it quickly, before the price drops further into the cellar.

Ah, Jeff. We're so disappointed. Remember how you pumped all that money into the Post when you bought it back in 2013 — and then how you stepped back to let good reporters do their work? It was all just a tease, wasn't it? You never cared about quality journalism or speaking truth to power or democracy dying in darkness. We cats HISS and dump our dirty litter boxes on your stupid bald head.

Your Forever Ex-Subscribers,

Sniffles, Baxter, Zamboni, Miss Kubelik, and Hubie & Bertie

GOP Gives Up On First Amendment

By Baxter

It seems mighty suspicious that hot on the heels of Republican House members getting raked over the coals at town halls back home, this happens at the Kootenai County Republican Central Committee's public Q&A event in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.

Dr. Theresa Borrenpohl was, um, ushered out after she spoke up to defend conservation of public lands. Actually, as you can tell, she was actually assaulted and dragged out.

These men are not police. They're not wearing any kind of ID; nor do they identify themselves even after Dr. Borrenpohl demanded it. Kootenai County Sheriff Bob Norris — out of uniform, by the way — directed them to manhandle and eject her. 

Obviously, Republicans have decided that they will have no more raucous, free-speechy behavior from their constituents, and that the First Amendment only applies to Trump, Musk, and their fellow Nazis.

But the joke may be on them. While Dr. Borrenpohl hasn't yet made an official comment on the incident, she's issued a statement saying, in essence, "Stand by, mofos." In short, she's planning to sue their asses off, yes? A GoFundMe campaign for her legal fees has raised $168,968. (The goal was $30,000.) We cats are both appalled and encouraged, and we HISS and PURR at the same time.

A Tale Of Two Popes

We cats have been on the road, but as Pope Francis remains in critical condition in a Rome hospital, we wanted to grab a moment and remember a couple of the reasons he's less awful than nearly all of his predecessors. Back in 2013 he spoke non-judgmentally about gays, which was a big leap forward for any pontiff. And then there were his two meetings with recent American Presidents. Oh, the body language! Get well soon, Frankie. We could use a few more grins. We cats PURR.

O Canada, O Happy Day

We saved this image last night on the off-chance that we'd be able to post it this morning. We didn't have high hopes — Team USA was simply outstanding throughout the entire Four Nations Face Off. But after Canada's overtime win in the final, Donald Trump, Pierre Poilievre, and yes, Wayne Gretzky look like the fools they are. We cats PURR.

What He Said

"MAGA stands for trying to erase trans people from existence. MAGA stands for re-segregation and racism. MAGA stands for censorship and book bans. MAGA stands for firing air traffic controllers while planes are crashing.

"MAGA stands for firing the people overseeing our nuclear arsenal. MAGA stands for firing military veterans and those serving them at the VA, including canceling research on veteran suicide. MAGA stands for cutting funds to education, including for disabled children.

"MAGA is profoundly corrupt, unmistakably anti-democracy, and, most importantly, MAGA is explicitly a Nazi movement. You may have replaced a swastika with a red hat, but that is what it is."

—Former Minnesota Viking Chris Kluwe, who was arrested shortly after making these statements to the Huntington Beach, California, city council

No More Amigos

By Sniffles

Remember the days of The Three Amigos? (No, not the Steve Martin movie, but the trilateral North American Leaders' Summit.) Considering what's going on these days, you probably won't be surprised to be reminded that from 2017 through 2020, no summit was held. Justin Trudeau hosted the 2016 event in Ottawa, and then it was crickets until Joe Biden convened it again in Washington in 2021.

We don't have high hopes for another summit any time soon, what with Benedict Donald calling Canada "our 51st state" and Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum threatening to sue Google for bending to Trump's idiocy and labeling the Gulf of Mexico as the "Gulf of America." Yes, Donald has managed to annoy Mexico again — a country we haven't been on the serious outs with since 1836. Incredible.

As for Canada, things haven't been this bad since 1812. And here's another reason to root for the True North in the Four Nations Face Off, which will face the US again in the final after defeating Finland yesterday. Team USA's general manager has called for Benedict Donald to attend Thursday's game. "We would love it," he burbled. Barf.

The final will be held in Boston, so it's unclear whether either national anthem will get booed as the Star-Spangled Whatsitz did on Saturday in Montreal. But seeing as how Boston is a short plane ride from Canada, and that Trump was roundly jeered by the crowd at the Super Bowl, it could get interesting. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

"Hostile Government Takeover"

Many thanks to John Oliver (who, thankfully, returned last night) for alerting us to this. Let's all do our part to make sure the guy in pink becomes 2025's Person of the Year. We cats PURR.

The Post Crumbles Again

By Hubie and Bertie

Are you a former Washington Post subscriber who's been toying with the idea of re-upping? Well, allow us cats to save you a few bucks.

The Post has canceled a "Fire Elon Musk" ad buy that Common Cause and the Southern Poverty Law Center Action Fund placed for Tuesday. The ad, costing $115,000, would have wrapped the print edition and also would have appeared inside. Apparently that was too much for the knee-benders in Bezos World, who have refused to comment or explain.

The ad would have also advised readers to call their Senators and House members and demand that Elon take a hike. So, here's our public service announcement for the day: You can still do that. The Capitol switchboard phone number is 202-224-3121. Just ask for your Senator and/or Congressperson by name, and they'll connect you. (Common Cause offers more opportunities for taking action here.)

If our democracy survives for historians to write about these terrible Trumpy days, they will pin a lot of blame on the cowards and billionaire overlords in American journalism. We cats HISS.

The Subject Is Roses

By Miss Kubelik

Our first thought when we heard the rumor that Benedict Donald may pave over the Jacqueline Kennedy Rose Garden for a Mar-a-Lago-type patio? That, gosh, he sure knows how to trigger people — cruel and petty men are masters at that. Our advice, then, is to not let him do it.

As we've pointed out before, everything that Trump is doing, he's doing from a position of weakness, not strength.

His flurry of outlandish executive orders? It simply means that he can't possibly shove his radical actions through Congress, even with complacent Republican majorities. (That would also give the Democrats too potent a platform to oppose him.) As for his "takeover" of the Kennedy Center and, now, his potential makeover of the Rose Garden, they're meant to outrage us. But, in reality, they're screams of inadequacy from the Queens boy who has never gotten over the fact that Manhattan has always looked down on him.

Maybe Jill Biden had a premonition about all this? Is that why we can't confirm that she ever repaired the damage Moose & Squirrel inflicted on the garden during Benedict Donald the First? Whatever the answer, the history of the White House, in the end, will outlast any autocrat with bad taste. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: A Few Lights In The Darkness Edition

By Zamboni

Things are still terrible, but we cats found some stories to discuss today that weren't completely negative. (Give us credit, we're trying!) Here they are:

Congratulations to the people of Denmark, the owners of Greenland, who obviously understand that the best way to irritate Benedict Donald is to make fun of him. More than 200,000 of them have signed a petition for "Denmarkification" — a proposal to buy the state of California from the United States. "Let's be honest —Trump isn't exactly California's biggest fan," the petition says. "He's called it 'the most ruined state in the Union' and has feuded with its leaders for years. We're pretty sure he'd be willing to part with it for the right price." There is nothin' like a Dane.

Up in Canada, meanwhile, a poll just out this week shows that the beleaguered Liberal Party would actually — hold onto your hats — win a majority in the next election with Mark Carney as its new leader. Holy vache, what a turnaround. We just hope that Carney is not peaking too early. (He's hinted he would call an early election if he's elected party leader on March 9.) But if this holds and the Conservatives end up losing after trouncing the Liberals by such wide margins for so long, do they stick with the toad, Pierre Poilievre? Worth watching!

Here at home, hard on the heels of the news that Michigan Senator Gary Peters is retiring comes the flash that Minnesota's Tina Smith will also not run for re-election. Well, crap. At least, however, she's given plenty of notice. And Pete Buttigieg may run in Michigan. Let's gear up, Democrats, we have some work to do.

Finally, some are comparing the mass US attorneys' resignations rather than obey DOJ's instructions to drop charges against corrupt New York Mayor Eric Adams to Richard Nixon's Saturday Night Massacre. US Attorney Danielle Sassoon's touch-only-with-oven-mitts letter to Pam Bondi is making the rounds on the interwebs, and with good reason — it pulls no punches. "Do people not understand what’s happening with the Eric Adams thing?" one Blueskyer skeeted in the wake of the letter's release. "The memo instructing the prosecution to be dropped explicitly said it was because he was carrying out the President’s agenda. It was 'You’re working for me, so we’re letting you go.' It was an explicitly corrupt bargain." Yep. Let's hope these attorneys' courage and integrity are contagious. We cats PURR.

Everything's Terrible, So Here Are Some Cute Cat Pictures

DJT Is Killing PP, And We're Loving It

By Baxter

It's only been three weeks of Donald à Deux, but here we go: 25 percent tariffs on aluminum and steel will take effect on March 4. Or, so Trump says. The stock market doesn't believe his threats, heading up after a down day on Friday. Clearly investors think the emperor has no clothes.

If these tariffs become real, Canada will suffer. But Canadians seem to have Trump's number. Here's Liberal Party leader-in-waiting Mark Carney on how to deal with all the Trumpy madness:

"Trump wants us to lose our cool. But we need to stay united, with the right response. In the short term, Canada needs to manage foreign trade threats with dollar-for-dollar tariffs and supports for our critical steel and aluminum workers. And as we look to the future, we'll need a coordinated strategy to boost investment, make our companies more competitive, and diversify our trading partners."

Sane words from a dude who knows how economies work as well as how to run banks. (Of Canada, of England.) Canadians trust him to deal better with Benedict Donald than Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre.

How great is it that PP has been put in this awful position by his idol Donald? With the possible exception of Alberta, which is the screwiest province in the country, Canada is united against the insults of Trump. In fact, it looks like Canada Day these days, even though snow is on the ground and summer is months away. People are flying their flag because they don't like all this "51st state" nonsense. We know — we've heard it from Canadians personally. We expect we'll hear more.

In other words, Canadians say, fuck off, Donald. But we're loath to stop his demented ravings. Every time Trump says Canada should be annexed, Pierre Poilievre dies a little more. We cats PURR.

Art But Make It Sports

This is one of our favorite accounts on Bluesky. Here's his Super Bowl take on At the Deathbed, by Edvard Munch (1895). We cats PURR.

Democrats Pick Blake, Introduce Bill, Republicans Have A Cow

By Sniffles

From the Department of A Taste Of Your Own Medicine: New York Republicans are simply outraged that Democrats in Albany have introduced a bill to give Governor Kathy Hochul more leeway in scheduling a special election to fill the seat of Elise Stefanik in NY-21.

If it passes and Hochul signs it, "Elsie's" successor — assuming that she's confirmed to be ambassador to the UN — may not be chosen until November, making life even more difficult for Preacher of the House Mike Johnson and his tiny little majority. Not that they have a lot to do, what with Benedict Donald and Team Trump governing by executive order. (That's a sign of weakness, by the way, not of strength.)

Well, we cats say HAHAHAHAHA. This is a big North Country laff because New York Dems are merely borrowing a page from the playbook of Governor Rhonda Santis of the formerly great state of Florida, who's known for taking his own sweet time in scheduling elections. What's more, Democrats have already settled on their candidate, dairy farmer Blake Gendebien (at some point, we'll figure out how to pronounce his last name). At least six Republicans are duking it out amongst themselves, with one threatening to primary the GOP county chairs' chosen candidate if it's not him. What a good sport!

Let them fight. In the meantime, we cats PURR.

(UPDATE: Amid concerns from Governor Kathy Hochul, Albany Democrats have dropped the Stefanik legislation. Bummer. We're never going to get through this if we don't learn to be cutthroat.)

Kennedy Center: Descent Into Hell?

Benedict Donald taking over the Kennedy Center? Brace yourselves, everybody — there will be only Lee Greenwood, Kid Rock, Lara Trump, and the Village People. No more of this. We cats HISS.

"Nixon Was A World-Class Liar, And It Drove Him Nuts, And He Wanted To Expose It"

By Hubie and Bertie

Gosh, we cats dislike Oscar season — mostly because we stopped going to movies in the theater with the pandemic (and haven't resumed). But also because there's precious little out there that doesn't involve comic books and superheroes. Which means that we've rarely seen any of the films that the members of the Academy have nominated. (Also, the lineup on Turner Classic Movies these days is very tiresome.)

But the run-up to the awards we don't care about has reminded us of this: Two extraordinary actors have portrayed the late Washington Post editor Ben Bradlee — Jason Robards in 1976 and Tom Hanks in 2018. (Robards won a best supporting actor Oscar for his trouble.)

The real Bradlee left the planet in 2014, which means that (lucky him) he missed the onset of Benedict Donald. And although he was still around when Jeff Bezos bought the paper, as a sufferer of dementia, he probably didn't have much of a handle on what was going on. Whatever information he was able to glean in his last days was most likely hopeful: In his early ownership, Bezos pumped money into the Post, recruited some excellent talent, and made the paper relevant again.

How the mighty have fallen.

Bradlee was far from perfect, but he was committed to some rock-solid principles. "I believe in hard work," he wrote to a high school senior in North Carolina after his retirement. "I believe in fighting all kinds of domination. I believe in steering clear of the big shots. I believe in total honesty. I believe in compassion." Good thing he's not around to see what's happened to his beloved newspaper today. We cats HISS.

Seven Years To Impact?

 

By Miss Kubelik

Got plans for Christmas in 2032? Maybe, but maybe not. As it turns out, there's an asteroid called YR4 that has a 1.3 percent chance of hitting Earth during the holiday season that year.

Whoops — no, we take that back. The European Space Agency, just a week after the previous estimate, has almost doubled the odds of a strike, to 2.2 percent. "The probability of the asteroid hitting Earth will either increase to 100 percent, drop to zero percent, or increase for a while, then reduce to zero as more measurements come in," a representative from the ESA Planetary Defence Office said.

Eek.

It's easy to be of two minds about this. One, the Trumpsters are way too incompetent to plan for the possibility of When Worlds Collide. Two, considering the horrors of first two weeks of Donald Redux, an asteroid might sound like an attractive alternative. Better to go out with a bang than to watch the slow strangulation of democracy or have the planet die a lingering death from climate change, right?

Let's all hope that Trump hasn't frozen the budgets of the government professionals who are supposed to keep an eye on such things. Meanwhile, we have a question: Why is it that Hollywood movies always have asteroids destroy wonderful places like Paris? If YR4 does hit, we vote for Moscow. We cats PURR.

"Trump Pushes His Closest Ally Toward Recession" (The Rest Of The Headline Is Self-Explanatory)

Before we leave the subject of tariffs for a bit (although they're sure to crop up again), let's digest the fact that a new Léger poll has found that three-quarters of people in Quebec say they will boycott American goods and will not travel to the US anytime soon. Three-quarters also solidly endorsed the Trudeau government's response to the MAGA madness. Nice work, Donald. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Canadians Not Yet Popping The (French) Champagne

By Zamboni

Despite the 30-day "pause" in Benedict Donald's stupidly ruinous tariffs, Canadians are still mad. Nobody's saying they're going to buy California wine and Kentucky bourbon again, and some are clamoring for the federal government to print maple leaf stickers that retailers can use to identify Canadian products. Today, NDP leader Jagmeet Singh popped into a Montréal grocery store for a press avail and photo op. "Boycott anything that's made in the United States," he urged shoppers.

What makes all this even more ridiculous is that both Canada and Mexico — like Colombia last week — agreed to negotiating "terms" that they'd already worked out with the US when President Biden was in office. It's unclear how many Americans realize this, but surely a lot of folks both north and south of our border do.

As for the world of sports, an additional note: We've already warned the Colorado Avalanche that they should brace themselves for some boos in Alberta this week. But that's not all, because — hang onto your toques — the US will play Canada in the 4 Nations Face-Off hockey tournament at Montréal's Bell Centre on Saturday, February 15. We already feel sorry for whoever has to sing our national anthem that night. We cats HISS.

This Is Exactly Correct.

"So Trump hurt America's relationship with Canada and made markets wobble — all to 'get' Canada to do things Canada had announced back in December, in coordination with the Biden administration. 

"Do I have that right?"

—Professor Nicholas Grossman, University of Illinois

One More Grammy, And He'll Catch Up To Lil Wayne

With all the crap that's going on in the news, we hope you didn't miss the fact that Jimmy Carter won a posthumous Grammy award last night for "Last Sundays in Plains," a compilation of his Maranatha Baptist Church Sunday school lessons. Congratulations, Mr. President! Your audiobook would make a helpful gift for Trumpsters and MAGAts who are busy violating everything Jesus ever taught. We cats PURR.

We Need A Drink

By Baxter

It looks like the next time we want a vodka martini in Montreal, we'll have to stick with Absolut. Tito's, made in Texas, won't be available. This photo is from British Columbia, but liquor stores in provinces across Canada — Ontario, Newfoundland, Quebec, Nova Scotia, and, as mentioned, BC — are pulling American products off their shelves to protest Benedict Donald's absurd 25 percent tariffs. They're also stopping wholesale sales of American wine, beer and liquor to restaurants, bars, supermarkets, and other retailers.

Nice work, Trump — you're hitting people about stuff they really care about. And we don't just mean alcohol, because alarm at all the Trumpy madness has already crept into the world of sports. Canadian hockey fans booed the singing of the Star-Spangled Banner at the Senators-Wild game in Ottawa last night. Torontonians booed it even more lustily at a Raptors-Clippers NBA game today. Canadians are uniting in their utter loathing of what the US is becoming under Benedict Donald à Deux.

So, yes — this trade war threatens to wreck our most cherished international friendships and our economies. But it's not even the most alarming development of the last two weeks. Elon Musk — whom nobody elected — is hijacking our government, and the Republicans, in control of both Congress and the White House, are doing nothing about it.

But that's a post for another day. In the meantime, we'll just have to wait and see if our national anthem gets booed again when the Colorado Avalanche travel to Canada to play the Calgary Flames on Thursday and the Edmonton Oilers on Friday. We cats HISS.

(UPDATE, Feb. 3: And just like that, the SAQ, Quebec's provincial crown corporation for the sale of alcoholing beverages, is clearing its shelves of American products. So, adieu, Tito's. See ya, California wines, even though you're from a blue state. PMJT is talking with Benedict Donald again in less than an hour. But even if this ridiculous charade gets ironed out, permanent damage has been done to a great international relationship. Canadians will never forget this. We cats HISS.)

Prime Minister Disney Prince Strikes Back

By Sniffles

Gosh! Repellent Canadian Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre must be fit to be tied tonight. His good buddy Benedict Donald, after whom PP has patterned his entire political persona, has given Prime Minister Justin Trudeau a golden opportunity to shine on the world stage.

When Trudeau announced that Canada will slap 25 percent tariffs on $155 billion in American goods, he stressed Canadian unity and — importantly — addressed the American people on how damaging Trump's tariffs will be to their own pocketbooks. (A big merci for that, Justin.)

He said Canadians are perplexed as to why Americans are targeting their closest friends. "Our relationship has been the envy of the world," he said, and quoted John F. Kennedy: "Geography has made us neighbors, history has made us friends, economics have made us partners and necessity has made us allies."

So yeah, Poilievre is tearing his hair out. He's got a hell of a tightrope to walk on all this, and he can't be happy that, after months of political difficulties, Trudeau gets to act... is the word "presidential"? Okay, not here in the True North. But it's a big boost for a Prime Minister who, after nine years, is winding down his political career. We cats PURR.