Note To Journalists: Yes, We Totally Want To Turn The Goddamn Page

By Zamboni

Is it just us? Surely everyone watching the CNN interview with Vice President Kamala Harris and Governor Tim Walz understood what Harris meant when she said that America was ready to "turn the page on the last decade" of our politics.

She was talking about Trump, of course. We are all heartily sick of him.

Nevertheless, the vastly overrated Dana Bash seemed puzzled, because the previous 10 years have included three-and-a-half years of the Biden Administration. But despite getting trounced in 2020, Benedict Donald has never gone away. Just look at social media and see how many accounts say something along the lines of "God, I cannot WAIT for the day that I never have to see or hear Trump again." The news media wants to ignore this, because Trump is their meal ticket. But the feeling among 70 percent of the country is well-nigh universal.

Harris is right when she says that Trump and MAGA are "contrary to where the spirit of our country really lies." The only question is why in the world Bash didn't appear to understand that. We cats HISS.

Grave Matters

By Baxter

Did you know that more than three years ago, Democrats in the House introduced a bill that would prevent Benedict Donald from being buried at Arlington National Cemetery?

Actually, the bill would specifically ban "twice-impeached" former POTUSes from getting "a highway, park, subway, federal building, military installation, street, or other federal property" named after them, in addition to barring them from Arlington. (Relax, Bill Clinton, you were only impeached once.)

It might be time to revive that legislation. The Trump-Arlington scandal just, if you'll pardon the expression, keeps mushrooming. Now, Donald is claiming that it was a "setup" by — wait for it — the Biden Administration, which must mean that they're worried about some other shoe about to drop. There are already questions about Team Trump's original intention (to stage an "official" ceremony that they could then accuse Biden and Harris of skipping), and whether the Gold Star families involved were told the truth from the get-go. (Spoiler alert: These are Trumpsters. "Truth"? They never heard of it.)

Top it off with Chris LaCivita, a veteran himself, trying to bitch-slap the Secretary of the Army on social media, and we have something very, very ugly going on. Media, please continue to pursue this.

We like the idea of the 2021 House bill, even though there's not a chance in hell that Trump would merit a space at Arlington. They'll have to bury him at sea like bin Laden, or shoot him into space, to keep thousands of people from lining up daily to whiz on his grave. We cats prefer litter boxes, but we're thinking about it. And of course, we HISS.

(IMAGE: Mike Luckovich, Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Stupid MAGA Tricks

Team Trump and their swarm of supportive Russian bots on social media have been trying to slam Vice President Harris for doing her first cable news interview with her running mate by her side. They're banking on people forgetting that a tag-team Q&A is de rigueur for newly minted Presidential tickets. But nobody's fooled.

When they're not beating up Arlington National Cemetery officials for doing their jobs, Trump and his thugs and goons are flailing more than any flailers can flailingly flail. And they have been, for going on six weeks now. We cats aren't seeing anything certain on the horizon that's going to change that dynamic, and we PURR.

Still Trying To Hit That Storied Rock Bottom

By Sniffles

Donald Trump reposted this on his money-losing platform Truth Social this morning, obviously going for the women's vote — and particularly for the votes of any women who have had to contend with sexism at work. (Yes, Blogger needs to provide us with a sarcasm font.)

It was illuminating in that we've learned that the decorous New York Times is not averse to repeating the word "blowjob" in its coverage. Who'd have thought it? And also, of course, it was — like everything Benedict Donald does — unbelievably offensive.

But since he was posting this and other outrages 30 times in a single half-hour, at least he wasn't spending that time on the phone raising money. So there's that. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Cemetery Scuffles

By Hubie and Bertie

"Two members of Donald Trump's campaign staff had a verbal and physical altercation Monday with an official at Arlington National Cemetery, where the former President participated in a wreath-laying ceremony," NPR reports.

"The cemetery official tried to prevent Trump staffers from filming and photographing in a section where recent US casualties are buried... Arlington officials had made clear that only cemetery staff members would be authorized to take photographs or films in the area, known as Section 60. When the cemetery official tried to prevent Trump campaign staff from entering Section 60, campaign staff verbally abused and pushed the official aside."

We cats want to know: What decent person poses at the graves of our honored dead, giving a "thumb's-up" sign? What family members would allow such a thing? Why is this not a national scandal of epic proportions, disqualifying Benedict Donald not only from the 2024 Presidential campaign, but from all polite society going forward? We cats are stumped, and we HISS.

Funny Randy

By Miss Kubelik

If Keith Olbermann and his "Countdown" show on MSNBC got us through the Bush II years, it's a slam-dunk that Randy Rainbow helped us survive the nightmare that was Trump. And he's still going strong, mostly because the Republican Party has never ceased to be ridiculous.

With the current state of the GOP, John McCain must be spinning in his grave all these (believe or not) six years. But he helped jump-start it by choosing Sarah Palin as his 2008 running mate, so Randy still has a lot of material to work with. Thanks at least for that, John! We cats PURR.

Noses To The Grindstone

By Zamboni

Jen O'Malley Dillon, chair of Harris-Walz, has issued an excellent report on the state of the campaign right now. With an exciting convention behind us, the groundwork has been laid for the next 70-odd days that can help steer us to victory. Here's the latest:

🔻Volunteers have signed up for 200,000 shifts since the convention's first day, and 90,000 on Thursday and Friday alone. Said Hawaii Senator Brian Schatz: "As someone who used to coordinate volunteers for a living, let me assure you these numbers are mind-blowing."

🔻In the month since Biden-Harris became Harris-Walz, the campaign has raised $540 million, a record amount that's been driven by first-time donors, young people, women, teachers and nurses.

🔻A wide range of groups have organized and joined the team, including Women, Latinos, AANHPIs, Veterans, Seniors, Small Business Owners, White Dudes, and — yes — Republicans for Harris.

All good news. And here are our marching orders between now and November 5:

If you're not registered to vote, for heaven's sake, get registered. If you are registered, check and re-check your status. Yes, this may sound a little neurotic, but just because you're being paranoid about it doesn't mean that Republicans aren't trying to erase you from the rolls.

Find out if your state has early/absentee voting and, if so, when it starts. Then bank your vote early, so Democrats can concentrate on folks who tend to be forgetful or are leaning our way.

Support our critical Senate candidates and help win back the House. It's no use getting the White House without giving Harris-Walz the Congressional partners they'll need. For the key Senate races, click here. For the House, click here. We cats PURR.

Let's Get That Blue Wave Going

We cats have been traveling the last couple of days, so there's a lot of catching up for us to do. We'll get to it, we promise! In the meantime, please enjoy this fabulous photo from Thursday night of our 2024 Presidential nominee. Fired up, ready to go! We cats PURR.

Benedict Donald, Looking Rough

Here's a picture of a guy whose sleep has clearly been disturbed by the success of this week's Democratic Convention. It's also the same guy who recently claimed he's better-looking than Vice President Harris. WTF? We cats are enjoying his discomfort, and we PURR.

Is This Rock Bottom For MAGA?

By Baxter

It's the final night of the Democratic National Convention, and already the day has completely sucked for you if you're a Republican.

Heartless MAGAts have been dragged all day on social media for mocking Tim Walz's special-needs son Gus, who displayed such filial affection last night that parents across America were no doubt clutching their chests in agonized envy. Millions of moms and dads must think: "If my kid would express love for me like that in front of the entire freaking world, I would die happy."

If that weren't enough, JD Vance stopped in at a doughnut shop in Valdosta, Georgia, in one of the worst retail-politics encounters ever recorded. Let's just say that the Black woman forced to wait on him was, to put it gently, completely unengaged. As were her co-workers. Even Mike Pence — Mike Pence — tweeted, "At least I know how to order doughnuts." Mikey! The shade you throw!

Meanwhile, social media have been consumed with the identity of the alleged DNC special guest tonight — which means that traffic and interest have been driven even higher all day. Will it be Beyoncé? Taylor Swift? Liz Cheney? Melania? The tweets have flown thick and fast. We cats can't wait to see, and we PURR.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: You'll Only Hear It Here Edition

By Sniffles

Night Three of the Democratic National Convention was another great event. We cats probably can't add anything insightful to what's already been said and celebrated, so we've decided to put our curmudgeon caps on instead. Please indulge us.

We love Tim Walz, and are ecstatic that Vice President Harris picked him. But Tim, make this note: When you talk about IVF, you want to say, "This is personal for Gwen and me." You also want to say, "It took Gwen and me years" to conceive their children. (Gwen, you're an English teacher. You tell him.)*

(*For the record, former President Obama is guilty of this, too. We've never heard it from Bill or Hillary Clinton.)

When it comes to wanting to send Benedict Donald into the dustbin of history, we cats are at the front of the line. But can we all please stop using that phrase? "Dustbin" is a British idiom. Have you ever heard an American say it? Yanks say garbage can. Trash can. You know, where Donald Trump belongs.

Stephanie Ruhle needs to learn the difference between "number" and "amount." (Just another reason to skip watching MSNBC.)

Finally, worth repeating: As we've mentioned before, one of our favorite grammarians and punctuation experts, Benjamin Dreyer, has laid down the law on the possessive versions of Harris and Walz. It's apostrophe-s: Harris's and Walz's. We cats PURR.

The Opposite Of "Weird Sh*t"

By Hubie and Bertie

Who's going to tell Benedict Donald that the Democratic Convention's overnight ratings for Day Two — which featured Barack and Michelle Obama — were 55 percent higher than the Republicans'?

Maybe it's because — despite our recent nostalgia for the excellent production that was 2020's virtual confab — we Democrats have managed to put on a really good show. Plus, hope and joy are infectious, aren't they? It's the exact reverse of the "American carnage" that Trump described on January 20, 2017.

Or maybe last night just had that certain je ne sais quoi. We cats will let Stephen Colbert explain, and we PURR.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Opening Night Edition

By Miss Kubelik

Well, Night 1 of the 2024 Democratic National Convention is in the books, and already there are reports that ratings were 21 percent higher than the Republicans'. Oooh, Benedict Donald won't like that!

Trump appeared in Howell, Michigan, today, a place that has kind of a problematic past, but one that fits perfectly with his worldview. Most startling, though, was his listless presentation, a flaccid monotone that did not go unnoticed by observers. So maybe he's heard about the ratings after all.

Meanwhile, here are a few of our furry observations about the Democrats' terrific first night.

If you need more proof that Republicans are empty, soulless and deprived, look no further than their online reactions to Democratic expressions of affection. They mocked Doug Emhoff's daughter with her arm around her dad, President Biden's embrace of his daughter Ashley, even Vice President Harris's "You had me crying — I love you so much" to Biden. Clearly these Trumpsters got no love from their parents when they were children. You almost (almost) feel sorry for them.

Handy reminder, East Coasters, not to center yourselves in all the criticism of how long the program ran on Monday. Chicago is in the Central time zone, and for much if not most of the country, President Biden spoke very much in prime time. And you journalists who couldn't stop bitching about Biden's age and stamina? You got a problem with staying up past midnight?

We love the fact that Hillary Clinton didn't bother to shut down the chants of "Lock him up!" during her speech.

Tim and Gwen Walz were on the verge of tears through so much of the night, we fully expect Tim to blubber his way through his acceptance speech. Or at least get a little bit emotional. (Heart emoji here.)

Finally, we loved Biden's speech, especially the part about giving his heart and soul to America. It was the perfect capstone to his 50-plus years of service, and yes — it helped reinforce the wisdom of his decision to pass the torch to Harris. We cats hope he and Jill have a great time on vacation in California this week, and we PURR.

(IMAGE: Mike Luckovich, Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Conventional, And Un-

By Zamboni

As the Democrats kick off the first night of their 2024 convention, let's give a well-deserved shout-out to the excellent production qualities of our COVID-plagued confab back in 2020.

It was a huge challenge to make a remotely attended convention into terrific TV, but the DNC pulled it off. They did it so well, in fact, that we're feeling a little nostalgic for it as we watch speaker after speaker approach the lectern tonight to shout excitedly at delegates who are mostly (but not entirely) paying attention.

Don't get us wrong — this is going to be a great week. But if there's one thing that Democrats are good at — both four years ago, and just in the last four weeks — it's their ability to pivot to new realities. They don't get enough recognition for that. We cats salute them, and we PURR.

(IMAGE: Clay Bennett, Chattanooga Times Free Press)

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Convention Eve Edition

By Baxter

Well, team, the Democratic Convention is almost here. How interesting that the talking heads seem to be walking back their previous dire forecasts that Chicago 2024 would be more like Chicago 1968. Humph! We were in Chicago in 1968, and those pundits — who probably weren't even born yet — have no idea what they're talking about. (Handy reminder that Democrats also convened in Chicago in 1996.)

Here are a few convention-eve observations as we stock up on Doritos and get ready for our watch parties:

Vice President Harris and Governor Walz toured western Pennsylvania today using these nifty wheels (above). Tweeps were oohing and aahing. Gosh! This campaign is so exciting, we're even gushing over the buses!

Puzzled about possessives? A lot of journalists we follow appear to be struggling with apostrophes and s's when it comes to our 2024 nominees. It's easy-peasy, folks: apostrophe-s in both cases. "Harris's surging poll numbers." "Walz's likability." You don't even have to think about it.

Rumor has it that Benedict Donald will speak from behind bulletproof glass at future outdoor rallies. Guess that means we have a gun problem in America. Will any reporter ask him about that?

Finally. after a successful golf cart parade a few weeks ago, The Villages in Florida turned out big today for a Harris-Walz grass-roots organizing event. This, maybe more than anything, should be a sign to Team Trump that they're in big trouble. We're not saying Florida's going blue (although with abortion and weed on the ballot, there could be a chance), but elections are won and lost on the margins. We cats like our odds these days, and we PURR.

What Dark Brandon Deserves

We know that President Biden made absolutely the right call on July 21 to step aside and endorse Vice President Harris for the 2024 Democratic nomination. But looking back, we feel kinda bad for him. Thanks to COVID, he didn't get a normal convention or inauguration — not even an inaugural ball. So we hope that he has a blast at this week's DNC. Watch for him on Monday night. We cats PURR.

A Message From Shepard Fairey

"I believe Vice President Kamala Harris and her VP pick Tim Walz are our best chance to move forward. They are our best chance to push back on encroaching fascism and threats to democracy, and our best chance for creating the world we all desire and deserve.

"Politics is messy...but messy is no excuse for checking out. Messy is the work, and the work can be joyful. Messy is what it takes to get through the daunting mess in pursuit of a better future. But we only win if we show up." We cats agree, and we PURR.

Mike Pence Can Relate

By Sniffles

Benedict Donald continues to publicly decompensate. Or is that "decompose"? He appears to be attracting flies.

Today, Trump held a "news conference" to which skeptical reporters were not invited, at which he stood in front of tables of grocery items, ostensibly to discuss the economy and inflation. But he didn't do any of that. Rambling off-script, he gave another grievance-filled performance, more like something out of Festivus than a Presidential campaign.

It's been nearly four weeks since President Biden stepped aside and endorsed Vice President Harris, and Team Trump still hasn't found its footing. That's because they have a bad candidate — actually, two. And Donald is clearly rattled by Harris's growing strength (check out the latest Electoral College analysis here).

As much as the press tries to help Trump — and make no mistake, they clearly are trying — voters are watching him, and they understand what they see. We cats PURR.

(PHOTO: Reuters)

Dark Brandon, Dark Mood?

By Hubie and Bertie

Among others, POLITICO — which chose to gleefully publish John Podesta's Russian-hacked emails in 2016 but refuses to print Trump's stolen messages this year — is reporting that Dark Brandon is still feeling a bit miffed about those nightmarish three weeks after his June 27 debate. He's reportedly vexed with Speaker Emerita Nancy Pelosi, Senator Chuck Schumer and former President Barack Obama.

At the same time, though, he's apparently telling people that he "grudgingly respects Pelosi's actions." For the record, we're not sure exactly what those were. Do we think that she helped nudge Biden toward his decision on July 21? Absolutely. Do we believe that she wanted a perilous, fraught-filled open convention? Absolutely not.

The details about the Biden-Obama and Biden-Schumer relationships are similarly opaque. But it wouldn't be surprising for political journalists to pick at the Biden-Pelosi scab more than the others. Nancy's a girl, after all, and one of the most powerful Democrats ever, so no doubt they want to stir up controversy to keep taking her down a peg.

You know what we think about POLITICO — it's trash. But that's not the only reason for them to back off. Just because Joe did the right thing, it doesn't mean he's made it through all five stages of grief. Let's all show some respect. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Thufferin' Thuccotath!

By Miss Kubelik

Last night, Benedict Donald gave an "interview" to Elon Musk on what will forever remain Twitter, and it didn't go very well. It was delayed nearly an hour by technical difficulties, but once it finally began, Trump's speaking style caught listeners by surprise.

He slurred his words and lisped. Now, it's not nice to make fun of lispers. Anyone who's seen The Music Man knows that. But after weeks of solid coverage of President Biden's lapses and goofs, you'd think you would have seen at least one MSM story about why Donald was suddenly talking as if his dentures were falling out of his mouth.

The other big news out of the "interview" occurred when Trump told Musk that if he loses in November, he'll flee to Venezuela. Hmmm. Wonder how Justice Juan Merchan, scheduled to sentence Trump on September 18 for his 34 guilty counts in New York, received that little nugget of information?

Anyway, whether he's sounding like Sylvester the Cat or babbling about Venezuela, it's pretty clear that Donald is not well. It got us to thinking: What would happen if he had some sort of medical event before the election? We're not talking about that ear-clipping "assassination attempt," which the MSM seems curiously uninterested in covering anymore. We're thinking, say, some kind of stroke. Can you imagine the fights that would take place in the GOP? 

The 168-member Republican National Committee would have to meet and anoint someone. Here's what might happen:

Nobody would want JD Vance to take Donald's place.

The MAGAts would insist on Don Jr.

The establishment donor class, which only cares about winning, would want somebody like Nikki Haley — despite her constant flip-flopping on Donald. The hard-core Trumpsters would never stand for her, so she's out. Then the moneybags would probably try for Doug Burgum, the zillionaire North Dakotan who excites absolutely no one, or Baby Marco, who has proven over and that he doesn't belong in the big leagues.

That leaves them with dog killer Kristi Noem and other nutjobs who fell off the original VP list. But don't count out GOP crazy boys Tom Cotton from Arkansas and Josh Hawley from Missouri. Surely they would assume that without Trump, their time had come. As Donald would say to Elon, "What a thitthow!" We cats PURR.

The Mountebank Melts Down

 

By Zamboni

After gazillions of articles last month about President Biden's age and mental acuity, it's mind-boggling that the press is showing almost no interest in Benedict Donald's obvious cognitive decline. If anyone needs proof, here's his latest post on Truth Social. Looks like he only believes in polls when he leads in them.

As if this weren't crazy enough, Trump also began claiming that Vice President Harris's enormous crowds this week were AI-generated. Even nutcase Vivek Ramaswamy couldn't get on board with that one.

Seriously, media? Does Trump matter so much to your bottom line that you're just going to whistle past this particular graveyard? We cats HISS.

And Now, Nevada

By Baxter

These Harris-Walz rallies are looking more like rock concerts or the Stanley Cup finals, right? This is Las Vegas tonight. What a fabulous celebration to top off the endorsement Vice President Harris and Governor Walz just received from the Culinary Workers of America. That's one powerful union in the Silver State.

Harris also just received the UAW's endorsement in Michigan — and LULAC's, an organization that has never before formally supported a Presidential candidate since its founding in 1929.

Something's happening here. What it is, ain't exactly clear.

We cats think that what we've been seeing in the last three weeks is a nation that's decided to unburden itself from the poison that is MAGA. Let's be honest, the Trumpsters were never more than a third of the American electorate. But our system gives extraordinary weight to minority opinion. Case in point: the American electoral college, which was devised to counter non-slave-states' sway over the mostly Southern, small-state enslavers. Maybe we'd be better off with a parliamentary system of government, but that's an argument for another post (or maybe another whole blog).

The bottom line? Americans are sick and tired of the Trump insults, the Trump anger, the Trump hate, and the Trump negativity of everything our nation stands for. Kamala Harris and Tim Walz have tapped into that fatigue — and into people's desire for something more enlightening and uplifting. We cats have to believe that, come November, positivity and hope will carry the day over darkness and grievance.

Sarah Palin used to like to ask, "How's that hopey-changey thing workin' out for ya?" Well, you know what, Governor? You're a has-been, and America still believes in a place called Hope. We cats PURR.

One Campaign's Fired Up. The Other's Out Of Gas.

By Sniffles

There are 20,000 people cheering Kamala Harris in Glendale, Arizona, tonight — more than Biden-Harris's 2020 margin of victory in the state, according to Phoenix Mayor Kate Gallego. People started lining up at the crack of dawn and waited outside in the heat for admittance to an event that wasn't supposed to start for 12 hours. (Don't worry, the campaign provided shade, water and fans.)

Meanwhile, Benedict Donald's campaign plane encountered technical difficulties today during his trip to Montana (the only rally he's holding all week). He had to land in Billings and hop a private plane to Bozeman for the event. In between planes, he yelled at The New York Times about how he and former San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown nearly crashed in a helicopter together, and he threatened to sue the paper for... not believing him? Hard to tell. Asked why Trump was making up such a crazy story, Mayor Brown replied, "I have no idea."

But here's an interesting take on the Billings-Bozeman situation. A Twitter account with firsthand knowledge of the subject is strongly suggesting that Trump's plane did not have a mechanical failure as averred. Instead, it landed in Billings because Trump didn't pay his fuel bills, and would not have been able to refuel in Bozeman to get home. Sounds like she nailed it: As of 20 minutes ago, the plane was still in Billings. The plane's not broke — he is. We cats PURR.

50 Years Ago, Journalism Changed History

By Hubie and Bertie

Happy 50th anniversary of Richard Nixon's resignation to all who celebrate! We cats can't believe how the time has flown. But sadly, today's anniversary has a darker side to it.

Nixon's downfall came about because two unknown Metro reporters at The Washington Post kept at the Watergate story like a dog with a bone — and their editors supported them, even when they screwed up. There's no reason to think that journalists today would be as stubborn and intrepid. That's what decades of Republican demonizing about "the liberal media" has done: It's robbed journalism of its moxie.

But primarily, we blame Rupert Murdoch. That guy should have his American citizenship revoked, and he should be deported back to Australia, for the damage he's done. All you have to do is look at today's Benedict Donald Mar-a-Lago "press conference" for proof.

There are only two ways for democracy to be successfully defended in 2024: for Harris-Walz to win by such a landslide that Trump cannot possibly contest it. And for journalists to do their jobs. We understand the assignment — do reporters? We cats fear they don't, and we HISS.

How To Lose The Women's Vote, Part Eleventy-Million

By Miss Kubelik

MAGA Republicans are flailing. In oh, so many ways.

Is it their claim that Vice President Kamala Harris is a communist? Benedict Donald's insane tweet that President Biden is secretly planning to steal the Democratic nomination back? Trump's freakout over the polls and Harris's huge, enthusiastic crowds?

Yes, all of the above, plus this: Why in the world would they think labeling Minnesota Governor Tim Walz as "Tampon Tim" would resonate with anyone but their hardcore MAGA idiots?

Here's the deal: Last year, Governor Walz signed legislation that provided for sanitary products to be offered to all menstruating students in Minnesota public schools. This is important because period insecurity can be as big an impediment to learning as food insecurity. Many students who can't afford pads and tampons themselves skip school during their times of the month. And of course, ready on-site access to sanitary products can help today's girls avoid the embarrassing episodes that too many American women have bad memories of.

Any dad of a tween or teenage daughter would understand this. But MAGAts are not emotionally mature, so they think this infantile "Tampon Tim" moniker is a slam. Guess again, guys.

We're banking on "Tampon Tim" to help Vice President Harris solidify her growing lead with independent and suburban women. Or, shall we say, to help prevent a 2024 Red Wave? We cats PURR.

The Skies Above Are Clear Again

By Zamboni

We cats have long agreed with journalist Soledad O'Brien that POLITICO is trash. So you can imagine our shock when we saw the site's wildly positive coverage of Vice President Kamala Harris's selection of Minnesota Governor Tim Walz as her 2024 running mate, and the behind-the-scenes process that went into making it happen.

Other media appear to be filing similarly upbeat stories, at least for now — so perhaps even American journalism, which as we all know is in deep, deep trouble, is charmed by the idea that politics, as Walz observed today, should be joyful. After eight-plus years of Trumpian doom and darkness, it's a glorious relief.

Which brings us to Harris. Her performance ever since the harrowing night of June 27 has been flawless. And in just the last two weeks, she's had to pivot to being the Democratic nominee and picking a Vice President. Each of the candidates for the job had excellent qualities, which kept everyone interested and engaged but which also made the call a potentially tough one. But she handled it brilliantly — and, very important, Team Harris did not leak, not one tiny drop.

Compare this to Benedict Donald, who had months — maybe even years — to pick a running mate. But since Everything Trump Touches Dies, his VP vetting was a drawn-out, messy process that inflicted unnecessarily negative coverage on the vettees — an obscene combination of Whac-a-Mole and Survivor rolled into one. And in the end, he violated the primary rule of First, Do No Harm.

Congratulations to Madam Vice President for nailing her first big decision as a future POTUS. We cats PURR.

Jenna Jumps

By Baxter

It looks like the Paris Olympics aren't the only place you can see impressive gymnastics. Former Trump attorney Jenna Ellis — who famously wept when she pleaded guilty to election interference in Georgia — has now flipped against Benedict Donald and his motley crew of fake electors in the state of Arizona.

Ellis has agreed to cooperate with state prosecutors and provide testimony against her farting friend Rudolph Giuliani, as well as, possibly, Trump. At least that's what the tea-leaf readers think might be in the offing here. Her reward: staying out of jail. Wow.

Despite the firehose of news these last few weeks, events like Ellis's flip-flop are handy reminders that Team Trump is still in tons of legal trouble at both the federal and state levels — with some cases still to be brought. The consequences of Trump perfidy will spool out for years.

Meanwhile, how dumb can Donald be? All those millions in his various campaign war chests, and he couldn't buy Jenna's loyalty. Or he wouldn't spend the money. We cats suspect the latter — because Ellis has complained about it — and we HISS and PURR at the same time.

(IMAGE: Ellis and Trump in happier days. Ugh. We will so not miss this ridiculous thumbs-up gesture.)

Countdown To Walz/Buttigieg/Shapiro/Kelly/Beshear/Pritzger/Whoever

By Sniffles

Pretty soon, the Harris campaign will sell merch with the running mate's name on it, too! Say what you will about the veepstakes — they've been a little nutty, but they've certainly kept everyone engaged. That wasn't expected in the run-up to the Democratic convention before President Biden dropped out, but Team Kamala was handed a golden opportunity to keep up the attention, and they've met it well. At least, it seems to be driving Benedict Donald crazy, in a lot of ways.

Here's an example: In his ridiculous speech in Atlanta yesterday, Donald said that Harris couldn't fill the same venue a week before. This was, in characteristic Trump fashion, the exact opposite of the truth. His rally was the one with the empty seats and the unresponsive crowd. Perhaps malignant narcissists are able to find comfort by deep-down actually believing the up-is-down, black-is-white lies they tell others.

The media, meanwhile, might be coming to terms with the fact that their comfy (i.e., lazy) three-week narrative of the Incredible, Inevitable Trump is falling apart. (Accent on "might" — assume nothing where American political journalism is involved.) But with reports of Republicans packing state election boards with MAGAts who will refuse to certify the 2024 election results, we sure hope that newspapers and networks are deciding now how they will cover it in November. 

There can be no both-sides-ism when democracy's in danger. Just check out what's happening in Venezuela. We cats HISS.

Photo Of The Week

 

Here is freed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich greeting Vice President Kamala Harris on the tarmac at Joint Base Andrews last night. Rupert Murdoch, please send your thank-you note to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW, Washington, DC 20500 (ATTN: The Honorable Joseph R. Biden). We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Thanks, JD... Or James Donald...Or James David...Or Whatever Your Real Name Is

JD Vance is the worst Presidential running mate in modern political history — his record-breaking net-negative approval ratings are just embarrassing for Benedict Donald. But he's done one thing right: He put us felines front and center in the national discourse. Just look at these memes! Please, Donald, don't ever dump him. We cats PURR.

It's Official

By Hubie and Bertie

By a virtual roll-call vote of the delegates who will show up in Chicago on August 19, Vice President Kamala Harris has passed the threshold she needs to stop being called the "presumptive" Democratic nominee. Obviously, more than a torch has been passed. (We love this image.)

This is thrilling and fun, even though at the same time we're still feeling sad for Joe Biden. But after an interval of paw-wringing, we know he did the right thing. And Dark Brandon unleashed — he's out of you-know-whats to give — is a glorious thing.

Biden has been in his element, teasing the press at Joint Base Andrews about last night's celebrated release of American prisoners from Russia ("You're stuck with me as President for a while, kid") as well as outside the White House, when he was asked what else he can do to get another prisoner released ("You want me to tell you ahead of time so he doesn't get out?"). Spicy!

Perhaps this weekend the world will learn Harris's choice for her Vice Presidential running mate. We have no advice for her, since she has a terrific field of candidates to choose from and she knows what she's doing. But we hope that the man she picks (and it will be a man) will be as good a partner to her as Joe Biden was to President Barack Obama for eight years. That is a non-negotiable job requirement, and it will take a special person to fill it. After all, Joe Biden's special. We cats PURR.

Okay, They're Not ALL Weird

 

Well! Guess we knew this was coming, right? If you're a Republican who reads us (and why the heck not?), you can register for this soon-to-be-scheduled organizing call here. We cats PURR.