Tidbits and Cat Treats — "Once Upon A Time" Edition

By Sniffles

More than two years after President Clinton got into trouble for using it during the Democratic primaries, the term "fairy tale" is back. And we cats are less than thrilled. Here are a few reasons why.

We thought that the disastrous marriage of Charles and Diana would have put all notions of "fairy tale weddings" to rest forever. But now that Prince William has popped the question to his great and good friend Kate Middleton, journalists reporting the story around the dial have lazily reached for that trite and hackneyed phrase. Come on, people, you can do better than that!

Here's another item straight out of Grimm's: There's a new fringe group in town. They call themselves the "sovereign citizens," but they're really just a bunch of middle-aged white guys who claim that U.S. and state laws don't apply to them. We cats find it amusing that a lot of these losers are from Staunton, Virginia — birthplace of Sixteenth Amendment champion and 28th President of the United States, Woodrow Wilson.

Last but not least, there's the famous quitter from Alaska. She's spun a lot of fantasies lately: That the media are out to get her, that talentless moneygrubbers are bad (hel-LO!?!) and that abstinence works. But — "I could beat Obama in 2012"? Now, that's a fairy tale.

(IMAGE: Daisy the Curly Cat. Hmmm... doesn't look too happy.)

Sore Losermen

By Baxter

We cats thought it would be amusing to visit our wingnut friends over at Free Republic, to see how they're taking the news from Alaska. The state GOP has issued a statement asking teabagger and famous-quitter darling Joe Miller to concede the Senate race to Lisa Murkowski.

Of course, Miller has since asked for an injunction to keep the race from being certified. But in the meantime, the Freepers are hopping mad. Here are a few of their sputterings, along with some snappy feline comebacks.

"Screw them! Don’t fall for it Joe. This election is being stolen from you. Fight them tooth and nail. Don’t let them sucker punch you. You are fighting for all of us who can’t stomach these crooked, fraudulent, stolen elections. Enough!" (Where was this guy in 2000? Hm!)

"This is exactly what is wrong with the two party system. If we do not get a third party I suppose I will have to quit voting." (Great idea. You do that.)

"Its [sic] an uphill battle, but I hope Mr. Miller fights this one to the last bullet." (There they go with those Second Amendment remedies again...)

"This would not happen if Sarah were in the statehouse." (Well, friend, she quit. And it's the Lieutenant Governor who oversees the division of elections, anyway.)

And finally, our favorite: "Fight the bitch all the way to the supreme court and back." While this poster neglected to capitalize the name of the highest judicial body in the country, he apparently learned how to hurl insults from Barbara Bush.

KA-BOOM!

By Zamboni

So, how would you have liked to have been in the room when the famous quitter from Alaska learned that her nemesis Lisa Murkowski had defeated her pet teabag, Joe Miller? Gosh!

"Miller's loss is a major rebuke for Sarah Palin," The Washington Post reports. "Miller's defeat means Palin couldn't deliver in her home state for a candidate she roundly endorsed."

Because we cats despise the famous quitter, we send our hearty congratulations to Senator Murkowski for her valiant (and now, successful) war against the teabags.

We think it's pretty sad that these days, evidence of statesmanship and reasonableness on the Republican side is when somebody like Murkowski says, "I am not one of those who wants Obama to fail. If he does well, that means the country's doing well." But we'll take what we can get.

All You Need Is Love

By Miss Kubelik

We cats are pretty proud of our new neighbors here in Northern Virginia. Hundreds of them turned out at 7 AM yesterday to counter a protest by the anti-gay lunatics from Westboro Baptist "Church" — and successfully chased them away.

The reason the hate group from Wichita picked Woodbridge Senior High School to stage their demonstration wasn't exactly clear. "It's just the one [high school] we lit up to," certified crazy person Shirley Phelps-Roper explained. (We cats don't know what "lit up to" means. Is that English?)

Woodbridge's principal asked his students to ignore the Westboro group — all five of them — to keep from giving them unwarranted publicity. But members of the community and Woodbridge grads showed up instead, with signs supporting the military and gays as well as an admirable spirit of make-fun-of-the-haters cleverness. ("God Hates Pirates," complete with pirate costumes? Very nice.)

We cats say, bravo. Yesterday's counter-protest was, to us, a small but encouraging offshoot of the recent Rally to Restore Sanity. Let's hope the trend continues — because it's the sane and reasonable people who really need to take the country back.

A Creche From the Catholics? Just Ducky!

By Sniffles

The interminable and tiresome quarrel over Christmas continues, and it isn't even Thanksgiving yet. The latest salvo in the "war"? The Papists versus the Damned.

That's because the Catholic League has sent creches — complete with the Baby Jesus, Joe, Mary, and barnyard critters, we assume — to all 50 governors, asking them to display them in their capitals to "counteract" the recent marketing campaign by organized atheists.

Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell has said he will joyously comply. We cats wonder how Republican member of the tribe Eric Cantor — who represents the Richmond area in Congress — feels about that?

Of course, to be fair, we cats have to admit that if the devoutly Catholic Democrat, Tim Kaine, were still in office, he'd probably display the darn thing, too. But we're tired of this bogus claim that Christmas, the most institutionalized holiday of the year, is under siege — so we HISS.

IMAGE: We cats actually want this rubber duck Nativity scene. In the meantime, check out some other frightful (and funny) creches here.

Lest We Furr-get: Let He Who Is Without Sin Cast the First Potatoe

By Baxter

We cats happen to be very good spellers, and we've often been amused by others who lack that particular talent. (Especially tea party signmakers and the people who created Christine O'Donnell's website.)

So we think it's ironic that teabag nuthead and East-German-Communist-dictatorship admirer Joe Miller has suddenly become a stickler for the correct rendition of M-U-R-K-O-W-S-K-I on ballots that have been cast in the Alaska Senate race. Little Joey and his jackbooted minions are insisting that every syllable of his opponent's last name — AND her first name — be absolutely, completely, totally picture perfect, no exceptions!

Miller's selfish rush to disenfranchise thousands of Alaskans would be funny if it weren't so — have we said this before? — disgusting, Rovian, un-American and sad. After all, proper spelling isn't exactly a Republican trait.

UPDATE: It's Saturday morning, and we cats have just read that the famous quitter from Alaska has given $5,000 to Miller to help disenfranchise her former constituents.  We always knew the quitter was selfish and mean. Now we know that she's also just plain — let's hear it again — disgusting, Rovian, un-American and sad.

Tidbits and Cat Treats — Exclamatory Edition

By Zamboni

There's quite a bit in the news to exclaim about today. So let's not waste another minute — because the mid-autumn sun is slanting through the family room windows, and we have to get to our afternoon naps.

That silly rumor about Senator-elect Joe Manchin switching parties is pretty ironic. We cats were just thinking the same thing — but in the other direction, obviously — about a couple of Republicans. Olympia Snowe and Scott Brown are in the teabaggers' sights — and we all know what happens to Republicans who can't satisfy their bloodthirsty base. We cats think Chuck Schumer should start working to flip these two, if he hasn't begun the process already. Go, Chuck, go!

So Representative Spencer Bachus (R-AL) has declared that the famous quitter from Alaska cost the GOP control of the Senate. "[It] would be Republican today except for states [in which Palin endorsed candidates] like Christine O'Donnell in Delaware," he said. Gee. Far be it for us to defend the famous quitter on anything, but we cats are struck by something here. Obviously there's one white male, Southern standard for Sarah Palin — and a completely different one for Jim DeMint. Teabagger ladies, you should be up in arms!

The voter suppression scandal in Maryland marches on. We're waiting to hear whether Republican gubernatorial candidate Bob Ehrlich signed off on those despicable robocalls to African-American households in Baltimore and Prince George's County. We're also waiting to see if anybody in the press will think to ask GOP chairman Michael Steele about the issue. (Yeah, right....) But in the meantime, it's our humble opinion that if FOX "News" can scream about voter intimidation by the "New Black Panthers" — really, two guys in a single Philadelphia precinct — then the Ehrlich campaign robocalls are definitely DOJ material. Calling Eric Holder!