Friday, February 27, 2009

Republicans: Clueless and Pathetic

By Zamboni

Let's see.... do we cats detect a streak here?

A candidate for RNC Chair sends out a holiday CD that includes a song, "Barack the Magic Negro." A Republican committeewoman (that is, if, indeed, she IS a woman) sends an e-mail with a horrible "joke" about the African-American victims of Hurricane Katrina. Republicans then quickly elect an African American, a failed politician named Michael Steele, as their Chairman.

Now, an Orange County, California mayor has sent out an e-mail picturing the South Lawn of the White House as a watermelon patch, with the accompanying lament, "No Easter egg roll this year." The 65-year-old mayor is claiming he didn't know about any anti-black racial stereotypes that involve watermelons.

Why do we think the GOP has a serious problem? Is can't just be that Congresswoman Michele Bachmann has thanked Chairman Steele this week for moderating a panel at CPAC with an enthusiastic "You da man! You da man!" No, unfortunately it goes deeper than that.

The Republican Party is reaping what Richard Nixon sowed, when he played on conservative racial fears with his "Southern Strategy." Now, 40 years later and 15 years after Nixon's death, the party is outmatched, outnumbered, outgunned and out of office.

The GOP thinks that the solution to this is to thrust forward minorities and women as their public faces: Steele, Bobby Jindal, Sarah Palin. But it won't work, because the monster under the bed keeps poking out its ugly head.

Good luck with that, guys!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Nous Allons au Canada pour Quelques Jours

And no, we're not getting there on Air Force One, although it would be fun.

We plan to enjoy a few beaver tails, and shop for a T-shirt we saw on T.V. when President Obama visited Ottawa. It has a map of the U.S. and the headline, "UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT."

We'll post when we can.

Bobby Bombed

By Baxter

The verdict appears to be in: Governor Bobby Jindal's "response" to President Obama's Congressional address last night was really, really, really bad.

In fact, if we were a fellow 2012 Presidential contender — like Sarah Palin, Tim Pawlenty, Haley Barbour, Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney, Jeb Bush, Charlie Crist or John Huntsman — we'd be popping the champagne and singing a Republican version of "Happy Days Are Here Again." That's how badly Bobby blew it.

It was such a bad performance that we were reminded of other fatal political screw-ups of the past: Ted Kennedy unable to tell Roger Mudd why he wanted to be President. Michael Dukakis riding in a tank. Walter Mondale declaring he would raise taxes. Howard Dean's "scream." Joe Lieberman declaring triumphantly that he was in a three-way tie for fifth place. (Don't say we're not equal opportunity cats. Those guys we just cited are all Democrats.)

And before we let this happy topic go, we once again have to HISS at Juan Williams, who last night told a post-speech panel on Fox, “I think [Jindal] had a really poor performance tonight, I’m sorry to say."

You're "sorry to say"? Juan, you're supposed to be a journalist. NPR, please tell us again why you keep this guy on?

They Just Don't Know What's Hit Them

By Sniffles

The behavior of the Congressional Republicans during the President's address last night convinces us cats that the GOP is a long, long way from figuring out how to handle this new guy named Barack Obama.

The evening was only a few minutes old before the President got in his first zinger — and a wordless one at that. He gave a long and affectionate hug to Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, just back from pancreatic cancer surgery. Take that, Jim Bunning.

And then for nearly an hour, any time the sourpusses on the Republican side of the aisle tried to tweak or snub or diss the President with murmurs, hisses, defiant applause (for small business assistance) or a petulant lack of applause (for capping greenhouse gases), Mr. Obama turned on them with a smile, thrust in a smooth, slender rapier, and twisted.

"I knew we could come to consensus on something," he joked, as the GOP members leaped to hail his refusal to saddle future generations with debt. And then he went on to talk about the huge deficit — the one he inherited from them. In the words of Henry Higgins, "How frightful. How delightful."

We detected some GOP rumblings, grumblings, head shakings, maybe even a few boos. But by the end of the evening, after the President took the country by storm with his speech, the Republican Party was lying on the floor, gasping for breath. And we haven't even gotten to Bobby Jindal yet.

Sean Penn was right — America has elected an elegant man.

Dangerously elegant.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

A Quick Thought on Tonight's Speech

By Zamboni

Once again, the pundits were wrong.

We cats can't begin to tell you how many talking heads pontificated today that President Obama would be addressing the American people tonight, and not the members of Congress seated in the House chamber before him.

Au contraire. The President was addressing them — with us, 300 million of his fellow citizens, standing behind him.

More later.

P.S. Is it just us, or is Bobby Jindal laying a total egg in the "Republican response"?

Monday, February 23, 2009

"We've Got to Have Equal Rights for Everyone"

Memo to Sarah Palin: You Destroyed Yourself

By Baxter

Sarah Palin believes that those meanies in the mainstream media made a conscious decision to "destroy" her candidacy.

If cats could laugh, we'd be doubled over right now. But in lieu of that, here's a special trip down Memory Lane — specifically, September 24, 2008.

Can you imagine this woman being half-in-charge of the ungodly economic mess that Bush left behind? HISS!

Not Just Brain Death: Total Idiocy

By Sniffles

Can Jim Bunning of Kentucky possibly step in it any deeper? Yes.

Not only did the lamebrain Republican (is that redundant?) issue one of those maddening "if I offended you, I'm sorry" apologies for predicting Ruth Bader Ginsburg's death, he misspelled the Justice's name in his statement.

Somebody needs to ask Michael Steele what the GOP is going to do about this fool, whose brain is clearly Kentucky-fried.

Meanwhile, Justice Ginsburg is back on the job today. We PURR in her direction — and to Jim Bunning and his ilk, we say, HISS!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Pancreatic Cancer Sure Beats Premature Brain Death

By Zamboni

Jim Bunning, that nutcase Republican Senator from Kentucky, has just reminded us how happy we are that Democrats have the White House and majorities in both houses of Congress.

Because that way, when someone like Bunning predicts Ruth Bader Ginsburg's death, we can rest assured that people who think like he does won't be picking Justice Ginsburg's successor.

But we'd caution Mr. Bunning, whose behavior has been weird enough to make Republicans think twice about him in 2010. He should not count out our Ruthie quite yet. (Yes, pancreatic cancer is nothing to sneeze at, but Justice Ginsburg's was caught early — and she's a fighter. Kind of like Patrick Swayze.)

In other words, the nails may be driven in Bunning's political coffin long before it's "case closed" on the only woman currently serving on the Supreme Court.

We cats won't predict. But we HISS at Jim Bunning for being such an insensitive jerk. We can't think of a good enough place to dump our dirty litter boxes — unless it's down his pants.

(Photo: From Senator Bunning's website. Hey, Jim! Maybe you could get that guy on your right to diagnose your brain disease from a videotape!)

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Robert Gibbs is Smarter than Rick Santelli

Socks, We Hardly Knew Ye

"Socks brought much happiness to Chelsea and us over the years, and enjoyment to kids and cat lovers everywhere. We're grateful for those memories, and we especially want to thank our good friend, Betty Currie, for taking such loving care of Socks for so many years."

—Bill and Hillary Clinton

Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Death of Wit

By Baxter

The New York Post has semi-apologized for a cartoon that we won't reproduce here. Not because it's racist, although we suspect it is, but because it's intellectually lazy and makes no sense.

Which is almost more offensive to us than racism. When will cartoonists and screenwriters and comedians and other artists stop reaching for the easy and the obvious and the not-well-thought-out? It's depressing, and unfunny. And the fact that folks like The Post's Sean Delonas are well-paid for substandard work just adds insult to injury.

So we cats HISS at Delonas, and most of all, at his editor, Col Allen, for being inexcusably, reprehensibly, unforgivably — mediocre.

(Bush, on the other hand, really did look like a chimp.)

Un Queue de Castor pour le President

The beaver tail people wrap it up nicely for you when you get it "to go."

Speaking of Beaver Tails...

Mr. President, Don't Leave Ottawa Without One of These

By Sniffles

Beaver tails, yum! Hot off the griddle, with cinnamon and a sprinkling of confectioners' sugar...

And while we're at it, would somebody please tell the members of the American press corps that if they address Stephen Harper directly, his correct title is simply "Prime Minister" — not "Mr." Prime Minister?

Thank you — merci!

UPDATE: YES!! The Ottawa Citizen reports that after leaving Parliament Hill today, President Obama made an unscheduled stop in the Byward Market, popped in at the (gigantic) U.S. Embassy there, and then swung by the capital's Queue de Castor shack (above) and bought a beaver tail for the road. Did we cats get this right, or didn't we?

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Now, That's Rich

By Zamboni

Dick Cheney is mad, and we cats think we know whom to thank: Our boy, Bill Clinton.

The Worst Person Who Ever Lived If Indeed He Were a Person apparently spent his last weeks in office relentlessly lobbying George W. Bush to pardon the repellent I. Lewis Libby for his 2007 perjury and obstruction conviction. (We refuse to call anyone who contributed to a CIA agent's blown cover by that ridiculous nickname, "Scooter.")

It wasn't enough that Libby's sentence was commuted. No, Cheney wanted a full pardon. But Bush wasn't in the mood.

Why? According to Kenneth Adelman, “Bush got it in his head that he did not want to leave office like Clinton did." That is, he didn't want to have a controversial pardon like Clinton's of Marc Rich hanging over his already tarnished legacy.

Our take on all this? Yippee! It appears that all the Rich sturm-und-drang was finally worth it.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

We're Still Waiting for that Wedding Invitation...

We don't want to be rude, but why doesn't this silly little girl marry her trailer-trash one-night stand? And why isn't the Christian right absolutely up in arms about it?

No Soup for You!

By Baxter

We cats are very interested to see that a small number of Republican governors oppose the economic recovery act signed into law by President Obama today.

U.S. News & World Report reported the story online (which they have to do, since their hard-copy magazine is in such dire economic straits that it's gone from a weekly to a biweekly to a monthly). We imagine that their goal is to counter the prevailing narrative that the Republican Party is now split — between ideological zealots in Congress and the more pragmatic GOP leaders who run states.

The upshot? That Mark Sanford of South Carolina, Sarah Palin of Alaska, Bobby Jindal of Louisiana and Haley Barbour of Mississippi are all on record against the stimulus — but that only Sanford has said his state will not accept any of its largesse.

We hope that the media will continue to press the other three governors on this question. Because with oil revenues plummeting in Alaska, and Louisiana and Mississippi still struggling after Hurricane Katrina, we're curious as to whether Sarah, Bobby and Haley will be able to resist the temptation. Especially Sarah, since — two-faced and despicable as ever — she's reported to have lobbied for money in the bill.

In the meantime, we can't stop laughing about this statement from a Palin spokesman, explaining her alleged opposition: "You're going to have the Chinese and other foreign governments buying up your U.S. debt."

The would-be Republican Vice President doesn't know who holds U.S. debt now?

Why are we so relieved that the man standing just behind President Obama in this picture is our V.P. instead?

(Photo: AP)

Now We Know Bipartisanship is Out of Hand — We Agree with Pat Robertson!

U.S. News & World Report: [Y]ou don't subscribe to Rush Limbaugh's "I hope [Obama] fails" school of thought?

Pat Robertson: That was a terrible thing to say. I mean, he's the President of all the country. If he succeeds, the country succeeds. And if he doesn't, it hurts us all. Anybody who would pull against our President is not exactly thinking rationally.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Freepers to Abe: So Glad You Were Shot

By Sniffles

Yes, we know. We have to give up the folks over at Free Republic. But they're our wonderful new bad habit, and we just can't stop.

However, we may have to, for awhile. This just in, folks: They don't like Abraham Lincoln. The nation's first Republican President! The man who saved the country they profess to love so much!

No kidding. We knew they'd be steamed about C-SPAN's latest survey of Presidential rankings, so we couldn't get our little paws to the keyboard fast enough to click on the Freepers' link to the story. We were certain that each and every comment would be along the lines of "Why isn't Ronald Reagan #1 on this list????"

Instead, this is what we found.

"Lincoln was not the best President by far. He trampled on states [sic] rights and people say he saved the union but at what cost?"

"Lincoln and his generals killed a lot of innocent people in what today would certainly be war crimes. He was not the saint that people make him out to be."

"Lincoln did not show restraint. He gave [sic] the Federal govt [sic] and smashed the south."

"Im [sic] holding back what I want to say here. Suffice it to say that Lincoln was scum. Obama is the result of his presidency, as was FDR."

"Lincoln is a highly overrated president... Lincoln committed war crimes on the South. Justice was served when he was assassinated."

Hmmmm. We cats are thinking that maybe we should take away these people's guns.

When It Raines, It Snows

By Zamboni

We cats have been alerted to a new right-wing bugaboo: The number of journalists who have joined the Obama Administration. To them, this is sure proof of left-wing media bias — which they're certain not only elected Obama last fall, but helped destroy the prospects of their do-no-wrong goddess, Sarah Palin.

All this fussing puts big Cheshire grins on our faces, especially now that Jill Zuckman from The Chicago Tribune has taken a job as the public information officer for the Transportation Department.

Never mind that reporters may find more economic security in public service than the dying industry of print journalism. Never mind that Ms. Zuckman worked at a newspaper with a vast and storied Republican history. And never mind that she's gone to work for a Republican member of the Obama Cabinet, Ray LaHood. She's a Commie liberal socialist Marxist!

But here's our favorite little exchange du jour, over at Free Republic. It was started by someone who calls herself "autumnraine."

"Can you imagine if George Bush had picked a Fox News reporter for an adminstration post?" she huffs.

"Like Tony Snow?............. " replies a Freeper named Red Badger.


"OK, good point," autumnraine admits.

Now if only Red Badger could tell autumnraine, since she likes to quote him so much, how to spell Kris Kristofferson's last name. Or break the news to her that Kristofferson's official website says, "God bless Obama. God bless America. And God bless the others outside our borders."

UPDATE, February 21: We don't know if Red Badger or someone else told her, but autumnraine has made a valiant attempt to correct the spelling of her lefty hero's last name. Unfortunately, now she's got it as "Kristoferrson." Poor darling.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Presidential Prerogative

By Baxter

One of the advantages of being President is that you get to do neat stuff — like move furniture, artwork and sculptures around the White House to reflect your taste and/or political persuasion.

For example, President Obama has returned to the United Kingdom a bust of Winston Churchill that had been lent by the U.K. government to George W. Bush after September 11. Our right-wing friends over at Free Republic — and, we're sure, other places — are just beside themselves about this. (Never mind that Mr. Obama is replacing Churchill with a bust of the first Republican President, Abraham Lincoln.)

But that's what President Obama gets to do. It's his Oval Office now.

Ditto the White House website. Practically at the stroke of noon on January 20, someone in Obama World pressed a button, and a fabulous new site took the place of the previous Administration's clunky old one.

But here's what we cats like best about it: To see a slideshow of Presidential pets, you have to click on Socks Clinton. Sure beats clicking on Barney!

We're sure this will last only until the Obamas get a pet of their own. But in the meantime, as you can probably guess, we cats PURR.

36 — and Sinking?

By Sniffles

George W. Bush and the very small band of people who still like him — Karl Rove, Condoleezza Rice, his wife — are fond of saying that history will vindicate his Presidency.

Well, they're going to have to wait a bit for that. C-SPAN has released its 2009 Historians Presidential Leadership Survey, and the news is not good for the Worst Person Who Ever Lived.

Bush clocks in at #36 — two slots below Herbert Hoover. Which makes us cats think, Oh, great. This means that we're struggling with an economic mess left by a guy more terrible than the President who was paralyzed by the Great Depression.

Languishing behind Bush are Millard Fillmore, Warren G. Harding, William Henry Harrison, Franklin Pierce, Andrew Johnson and James Buchanan. With those guys scraping the bottom of the Presidential barrel, we're certain that the Bushies are shaking their heads but hoping that, over time, their man will be able to claw his way up the list.

Hm. We cats have a hope of our own. Surely somebody in that sorry-ass group at the bottom has a redeeming quality that historians have yet to discover — and cause Bush to sink even lower.

We're rooting for Fillmore.

P.S. We cats are proud to report that this is our 500th post. Thanks for reading! We PURR at you.

UPDATE: An affectionate swipe of the paw to the faithful feline fan who's pointed out that the father of the Worst Person Who Ever Lived was ranked number 18 on this list — nearly 20 slots ahead of his worthless son. Gee, wasn't the whole point of Bush II to do better than dad?

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Come On Over, Susan & Olympia — The Water's Fine

By Zamboni

We cats note with glee that the Republican Party's nutty base is very upset with Senators Collins, Snowe and Spector over the stimulus package.

They want to run them out of the GOP. In fact, the Mainers over at Free Republic are threatening a recall effort against Collins and Snowe. (We don't know what's going on over in the Freepers' Pennsylvania corner, but we suspect it's probably something similar.)

To which we cats say, have at it, folks. In fact, if Senators Collins and Snowe ever get tired of this silly behavior, we'd more than welcome them on the Democratic side of the aisle. That way, once Al Franken gets seated (and it's looking better for him all the time), that would bring our total number of Democratic Senators up to 61 — more than enough to frustrate Mitch McConnell's "just say no" mentality.

It also would mean that we wouldn't have to fly grieving Senators back from their mothers' Ohio funerals to make sure the economy gets saved. Works for us!

Memo to NPR: Give Up on Juan Williams

By Baxter

We cats have often wondered why National Public Radio continues to bother employing Juan Williams. But now that Williams has referred to Michelle Obama as "Stokely Carmichael in a dress," we're more than wondering — we're astounded.

Granted, Williams did not make the remark on the air at NPR. But the fact that he made it on "The O'Reilly Factor" says it all.

Where does this come from? Obviously the man's been so steeped in Republican talking points that he no longer qualifies as a mainstream journalist. He needs to be relegated to Fox "News" and solely to Fox "News."

We cats just wrote to NPR, to HISS at Williams' behavior and to demand he give Mrs. Obama a public apology. If you'd like to do the same, visit, or send a letter to National Public Radio, 635 Massachusetts Avenue, N.W., Washington, D.C. 20001.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Judd, on the Defensive

By Sniffles

We cats have yet to hear anyone mention the reason that we strongly suspect Judd Gregg suddenly decided he couldn't be Commerce Secretary. (And is it just us, or is he coming off like a total lamebrain in this whole thing?)

Yes, the pundits mention the 2010 census and how the conservative Republican Senator may have had his nose out of joint about the White House playing a big role in it. But they fail to carry that thought to its next logical step; that is, that the census determines the number of Congressional seats apportioned to each state.

There also seems to be a little cat fight between the political parties about how thoroughly the census should count minorities. You guessed it — Republicans aren't terribly eager to tally up the folks who don't support them. So that — and the prospect of some added Democratic districts for 2012 — makes it pretty clear to us.

In short, we smell a rat — but then, we cats usually do.

Surely Mitch "Amphibian Face" McConnell and John "Eyeliner Man" Boehner and Eric "AFSCME Ad" Cantor told Senator Gregg something like this: "No way, no how, can you preside — even in a titular fashion — over the GOP's continued political evisceration."

P.S. In case you think President Obama is knocked off his stride by any of this, check out his reference in last night's (absolutely terrific) speech at Springfield's annual Lincoln Day Dinner.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

200th Birthday of First Republican President a Sad Comment on GOP of Today

By Zamboni

Are we the only ones who thought that President Obama's remarks in the Rotunda today — observing Abraham Lincoln's 200th birthday — were a bit of a GOP smackdown?

“[E]ven as we meet here today, at a moment when we are far less divided than in Lincoln’s day, but when we are once again debating the critical issues of our time," the President said, "let us remember that we are doing so as servants to the same flag, as representatives of the same people, and as stakeholders in a common future.”

You be the judge. But in the wake of this speech and his Inaugural Address, we cats think he's really, really good at this. And we PURR and rub up against his ankles for it, because it's been a very long eight years.

Meanwhile, we find that we have to say something about some other Republicans who have been misbehaving.

We were going to ignore the kerfuffle over Congressman Eric Cantor's foolish AFSCME video joke. (Aha, you say, it was Cantor's spokesperson, not the Congressman himself, who erred — but in our minds they're one and the same. And believe us, if the shoe were on the other foot, the Republicans would be saying the same thing.)

But now, we feel we need to rub Mr. Cantor's smug little face in our dirty litter box. Because he doesn't know the rules of English grammar.

"Despite our repeated attempts to work with President Obama and the Democrat majority..." he started to whine the other day.

Democratic, Congressman. "Democrat" is a noun, not an adjective. And we continue to object to GOP attempts to turn it into a pejorative. Would you characterize yourself as a "Jew American"? We think not.

And then there's our good friend Carol Carter, former Hillsborough County, Florida, Republican committeewoman (that is, if indeed she IS a woman), who resigned over a notoriously racist and therefore inherently unfunny joke she sent in an e-mail. She wants her job back. We can only guess that she thinks her grudging half-apology was atonement enough.

What a party. We cats HISS.

UPDATE: Judd Gregg just announced that being a Republican is more important to him than helping the country out of this Bush-incited disaster. As we said, what a party.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Just Because It Drives Them Crazy

By Baxter

We owe a big debt to our right-wing Internet friends who have been fulminating about this video clip from President Obama's town hall meeting in Fort Myers.

Of course, the wingnuts all think that this poor woman, Henrietta Hughes — who is clearly at the end of her rope from having to live in her car — "hasn't held a job in years." One commenter noted that Rush Limbaugh stated today that this event made him "embarrassed to be an American."

Hm. We cats will refrain from remarking on the hypocrisy of that statement. Because we're SO grateful that our angry conservative pals have pointed out something we hadn't noticed before.

It's the woman in white, leaping to her feet at Ms. Hughes' right and slightly behind her, who calls out "I love you, Barack."

Thanks, you lovable right-wing nutbags, you! The fact that it makes you gag makes us grin. Like Cheshire cats.

UPDATE: Our friends at Free Republic were very upset to learn that Ms. Hughes had been given (or lent, it's not yet clear) a house, so that she and her son could quit living in a pickup truck and taking showers at public parks. "Where's my free stuff?" one fumed late yesterday. Well, Freeps, you'd better eat your words. The donor of the house is the wife of Florida's Republican State Representative Nick Thompson.

A Real "Poke-in-the-Eye-with-a Sharp-Stick" Kind of Day

By Sniffles

Remember this idiot?

He's the sheriff of Lee County, Florida, who appeared in uniform at a Sarah Palin rally in October and, introducing the Governor to the crowd, pointedly referred to "Barack HUSSEIN Obama." You know, like it was an epithet.

Well, guess what. "Barack HUSSEIN Obama" is now the President of the United States, Mr. Stupid Sheriff Person, and he was in your back yard today. At a most successful town hall meeting with people whose lives have been ruined by your political party.

We cats hope Mr. Stupid Sheriff Person feels really bad today. About as bad, in fact, as the posters over at Free Republic who are really, really mad at Florida's Republican Governor, Charlie Crist — who appeared with, and introduced, the President at the Fort Myers event this afternoon. It must be insult on top of injury that the Great White-Haired Hope, who half-heartedly campaigned with John McCain last fall, proudly stood with President Obama and touted the stimulus. Just read for yourself:

"Behold, it is Crist... the RINO."

"Can you pretend you’re surprised?"

"All of these RINO’s [sic] giving Obama bipartisan cover should be immediatley [sic] relieved of their GOP membership."

"Crist is a freaking idiot."

We cats PURR, because we love stuff like this. What do you want to bet that, once upon a time, the Freepers thought Crist... um... walked on water?

Monday, February 9, 2009


By Zamboni

Imagine — a President who answers questions intelligently! Who listens to what he's being asked, thinks carefully, and gives well-constructed, seven-minute answers on complex issues. A President who uses real words.

We cats PURR.

$37,262 and $425,000

By Baxter

The Republicans have a lot of nerve, lecturing the Obama Administration about spending.

While their myopic minorities on Capitol Hill are screaming that the stimulus bill is nothing but spending (well — duh), two of their party "bright lights" are defending a little spending of their own.

Newly elected RNC Chair Michael Steele says it was perfectly okay that his failed 2006 Senate campaign paid more than $37,000 to a now-defunct company owned by his sister for work that was never performed. What is it with the Steele family, that they crash and burn at everything they do?

And Florida Lt. Governor Jeff Kottkamp has billed his state's taxpayers nearly half a million dollars for — wait for it — 365 flights that he and his family took on state planes. (Just to put this all in context, former Governor Buddy MacKay took a state plane 19 times when he was in office.) Caught red-handed, Kottkamp is reimbursing the state $12,974. We don't understand exactly how that math works out, but never mind.

You see, Kottkamp works in Tallahassee, but he and his wife travel back and forth between there and the million-dollar home they own in Fort Myers. We cats are sure that the thousands of desperate Fort Myers residents whose homes are being foreclosed on — and who now are waiting in line at churches for free food — would find some good use for $12,974. Or for that matter, $37,262. But, like all right-wing Christians we've encountered, the Kottkamps appear oblivious to human suffering.

Which brings us back to those Republican "insurgents" on Capitol Hill. We cats HISS.

Friday, February 6, 2009

No, Wait — THIS is Today's Republican Party

By Sniffles

In case you thought the recently disgraced Chip "Chipmunk Cheeks" Saltsman was the only racist in the GOP, guess again.

Carol Carter, a Hillsborough County, Florida, Republican state committeewoman (that is, if indeed she IS a woman), has quit her party post after sending the following e-mail:

"I'm confused. How can 2 million blacks get into Washington, D.C. in one day in sub-zero temps when 200,000 couldn't get out of New Orleans in 85 degree temps with four days [sic] notice?"

Hm. Making fun of Hurricane Katrina victims. It conjures up pictures of people on rooftops, frantically calling for help, animals stranded on the tops of cars, old women dying in their wheelchairs outside a football stadium. Just hilarious, isn't it?

Ms. Carter (if, indeed, she IS a Ms.) resigned, but protested that she's not a racist. "I forwarded a joke to eight people I thought were friends and it went off the cliff," she said indignantly. And then she followed up with a grudging, astoundingly qualified apology:

"I have been asked to send this apology for my earlier e-mail," she huffed. "I am sorry that it was received in a negative manner. I do hope that we are going to be allowed to keep our sense of humor. As you can now see, it went to very few people... I am also sorry to learn that some of these persons are not real team players. There really was no reason for this to go beyond those that I e-mailed (eight people)."

How very convincing. Apparently the Republican Party — when it's not being a bunch of "insurgents" like the Taliban — is a huge group of closeted bigots who just elected an African-American national party chair as window dressing. Any comment from you, Mr. Steele?

We cats are waiting. In the meantime, we SNARL at this repugnant woman (if, indeed, she IS.... well, you know). And we dump our dirty litter boxes in her swimming pool.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Meet the New Republican Party

"Insurgency, we understand perhaps a little bit more because of the Taliban. And that is that they went about systematically understanding how to disrupt and change a person's entire processes. And these Taliban — I'm not trying to say the Republican Party is the Taliban. No, that's not what we're saying."

—NRCC Chairman Pete Sessions, talking about GOP tactics on the economic recovery package

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Janet Reno, Your Taste in Interior Decoration is Impeccable

By Zamboni

For all of you who are fretting over the Daschle crash-and-burn, among others: Please, take a deep breath, and take the long view.

Under Bush, we had a Justice Department that was "justice" only in name. It was egregiously corrupted by politics and prejudice — and condoned behavior that not only violated American principles, but denigrated the reputation of the United States abroad.

We cats bemoaned these developments, because we'd visited DOJ in the days of Janet Reno, history's most incorruptible Attorney General. The portrait over Janet's office mantel was Robert F. Kennedy's. We felt good, knowing it was there. But, we thought, surely that portrait had been consigned to the DOJ basement in the reigns of Ashcroft, Gonzales and Mukasey.

Well, My Cats fans — we are happy to report that the RFK portrait IS BACK! Check out this image from Eric Holder's swearing in.

Gee, it's good to know that the right people are in charge again.

Too Many Litters

By Baxter

We must say, the woman with the octuplets makes us ill. And apparently we're not the only ones.

Someone needs to tackle this woman, take her to The Cat Network, and get her spayed. There's no time to lose. We hope they notch her ear, too.

It's just that we don't understand why the rules are different for us cats than for you humans. Seems to us that overpopulation in any species is a bad thing.

But at least our kids are a lot cheaper than yours. So why does this seem so totally upside-down?

Nosferatu Returns

By Sniffles

America is being stalked by Dick Cheney again.

Like a bad, recurring case of feline urological syndrome, the former Vice President has popped up out of retirement in a repulsive attempt to scare people. The Obama Administration's policies, he's averred, will make a terrorist attack on the U.S. more likely. Nuclear or biological. Take your pick.

Now, if "Dick" (and boy, do we know one when we see one) is so concerned about that, wouldn't you think he'd pick up the phone and talk to someone in the White House? We would bet one of our nine lives that as a former Veep he'd have a direct line to either President Obama, Vice President Biden or DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano. Why go public?

Many possibilities spring to mind. He's worried about legacy issues and wants to position himself as firm and unyielding. He's worried about being nabbed abroad for war crimes. He's trying to peddle a book. He's an ass.

Whatever the answer, the latest Gallup poll shows that Americans are a lot less worried than Cheney is. Seventy-four percent approve of limiting interrogation techniques on terrorist suspects.

It's interesting that it's Cheney who rises to haunt us again — not Bush. We cats take it as additional confirmation that it was "Dick," and not the Worst Person Who Ever Lived, who was in charge of that godforsaken White House. Still, we HISS at, for giving him the time of day in the first place.

And as for Cheney, we dump our dirty litter boxes on his wife's head.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Goodbye, O God-Awful Days of Goodling

By Zamboni

Okay, it may appear lately that some people in the Obama Administration are having a little trouble paying their taxes.

Pretty embarrassing. But at least we don't fire folks because they're rumored to be gay.

That's the post-Bush news item we prefer to celebrate today: The Justice Department has rehired Leslie Hagen, who was illegally and outrageously sacked from a Native American affairs liaison job because someone said she was a lesbian.

Not a lesbian, but alleged to be one. Either way, such a firing is against the law. But that didn't matter to Monica Goodling. Remember her?

So we cats PURR at the Holder Justice Department, for righting a disgusting wrong. And as for Ms. Goodling, we dump our dirty litter boxes in her underwear drawer. She should be flogged.

P.S. And the Democratic tax kerfuffles? We cats are indulging in some slightly wry expressions. We're remembering all the media brouhaha about Bill Clinton's foundation donors. Surely that would disqualify his wife from becoming Secretary of State! So, former President Clinton released his list. And then — nothing. Guess the press was having its typical anti-Clinton knee-jerk reaction. If they were sniffing for scandal, maybe they should have been looking elsewhere.

Oh, Thank Goodness.

We don't have to look at these silly eyeglasses any more.

Note to President Obama: Why not pick Howard Dean for HHS? He's a Vermont country doctor who we bet doesn't make enough money to have tax problems.

Juste Pour Rire, Part Deux

This is just how we cats feel.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Tidbits and Cat Treats, 3.0

By Baxter

It's been a busy Monday, but here are a few quick feline reflections on the latest news.

We cats send our best wishes to the owner of the Super-Bowl-champion Pittsburgh Steelers, but not because we love football (although we have to admit it was an exciting game). It's because he endorsed President Obama last year.

Speaking of the Super Bowl, and Jennifer Hudson's repugnant rendition of "The Star-Spangled Banner," we'd just like to say, Can we stop? Please? We are not only sick of overwrought voices, we'd really like people to stop performing the National Anthem as if it were a song.

We didn't care about Michael Phelps when he was winning all those medals, and we don't care that he was caught smoking marijuana now.

The Mormon Church needs to lose its tax-exemption immediately. Or at the very least, Prop 8 in California should be repealed.

While we'd really love to stick it to the Republicans by taking away their New Hampshire Senate seat today, we realize that President Obama is a better person than we are. So we take the long view on the expected Judd Gregg Commerce nomination. If Governor Lynch appoints a caretaker, in 2010 it will be much more difficult for a non-incumbent GOP Senate candidate to raise money in a state that's been turning ever-more-blue in recent years. Plus, the RNC gets a whole new headache: A non-incumbent race they didn't plan for, money-wise or otherwise. Are you listening, Michael Steele?

As for the poll revealing that most Republicans want the party to be more like that nutcase from Alaska? We cats say, Go, GOP, Go!

Time for a nap.

UPDATE: Tom Daschle needs to get new glasses.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

GOP: A Little Short on "Phenomenons"

By Sniffles

Here's more proof that the Republicans are living in a world completely divorced from reality: They think Michael Steele, the newly elected RNC Chair, is a star.

"Barack Obama's a phenomenon. It's going to take a phenomenon just to challenge him. Michael is the one guy we have, regardless of background, who can do that," said a California committeeman after Friday's vote.

We cats don't quite know what to make of that. But we have to assume that in the Official GOP Dictionary, the entry under "phenomenon" must read as follows.

PHENOMENON (Republican), (n.), def.: 1). Guy who has won one (1) electoral contest in his entire life, as the second-banana on a "reform" ticket to replace a corrupt governor of the other party; 2). Guy who has never won an electoral contest on his own, despite massive infusions of support from his party and party leaders; 3). Guy who made a fool of himself last September on "Real Time with Bill Maher" after the audience booed a mention of Sarah Palin and he looked at them angrily and said, "You'll be calling her 'Vice President Palin' soon enough!"; 4). Guy who was completely, totally wrong about that.

Yeah, right... that guy.

UPDATE: Goodness, how could we forget? Here's definition 5).: Guy who in 2006 said that the "R" next to his name was an "impediment" — a "hurdle to overcome" — a "scarlet letter."