Friday, January 30, 2009

An Epidemic of Foot-Shooting

By Zamboni

We all know from high school lit classes that the definition of a Greek tragedy is when the hero of a drama brings ruin upon himself by his own actions, a character flaw or a moral weakness.

Gosh, have we seen a lot of that this week.

Wall Street invites outrage by giving its executives ridiculous bonuses. Go, Claire McCaskill!

Blackwater is banned from Iraq because, oops, its vigilante security forces needlessly killed 17 Iraqi citizens in 2007.

Israel sets itself up for a withering bitch-slapping by the Turkish prime minister at the economic summit in Davos.

Rush Limbaugh (pictured, looking fat) says he wants the President to fail.

We cats sense a pattern. Except, we quibble with the definition of a Greek tragedy in that it refers to a "hero." We see no "heroes" here.

Freeps: Judd Gregg = Benedict Arnold (and nothing's even happened yet!)

By Baxter

We love it when the folks over at Free Republic do our work for us. Almost as much as we love the tizzy that President Obama has thrown Senate Republicans into — by considering Judd Gregg of New Hampshire for Commerce Secretary.

You see, with Al Franken close to being seated from Minnesota, a new Senator from New Hampshire — appointed by a Democratic Governor to fill a Gregg vacancy — would bring Harry Reid's majority to 60. But even if the deal is never done, the fact that the President has sent Mitch McConnell and his GOP minions scrambling in utter panic is amusement enough for us.

Of course, the Freepers are mighty displeased about the Gregg possibility. That's fun, too. Here are some of the more classic comments.

"Now I now [sic] why Dudd [sic] Gregg voted for Secretary Tax Cheat. I used to like Judd Gregg."

"Taking the offer is political treason, given a Democrat will replace him."

"The only thing Gregg has going for him is he is less anti-gun than Obama. He is a memeber [sic] of the pro-abort [sic] 'Republicans for Choice.' RINO."

And then here's this fairly reasonable post by someone named "trumandogz." You can rest assured that the Freepers will ban him in a heartbeat.

"It is not all that unusual for a Senator to be appointed to a cabinet post and be replaced as Senator by a person of the other party. However, this case would have a strange dynamic in that the Senator being appointed is not of the same party as the President. Pure genius for Democrats. Not good for the Republicans."

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Juste Pour Rire

Obsessed by Race, Out of the Race

By Sniffles

This is the only way tomorrow's RNC Chair election will generate any news: "Chipmunk Cheeks" Saltsman, the favored candidate of Mike Huckabee, has dropped out of the running.

It appears that distributing a holiday CD with a song called "Barack the Magic Negro" may not have done the trick. But "The Star-Spanglish Banner," also included on the CD, has.

We cats tried to listen to it and had to quit in the middle. Take it from us, it's revolting.

And so is Mr. Saltsman. Good riddance, you racist pig.

More Fallout from the Rush Limbaugh Kerfuffle

By Zamboni

Dick Armey has made an ass of himself. Of course, Dick Armey is perfectly capable of doing that without help from Rush Limbaugh. But here he is "discussing" the recent Phil Gingrey-Limbaugh dust-up on "Hardball" and, throwing an insult at Joan Walsh, sounding a lot like that Taliban guy in Fahrenheit 9/11.

The scariest thing about all this? As a GOP guest pundit, Armey — at least in comparison to nuts like Tom DeLay, Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly — has, in the past, been a voice of semi-reason. We realize that isn't saying much. But it's one more reminder of how far off the radar the "giants" of the Republican right wing really are.

Dick Armey, we cats dump our dirty litter box in your pants.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Why Do the Media Hate James Brady?

By Baxter

Brian Williams just killed James Brady.

"NBC Nightly News" just reported that James Brady of PARADE magazine has died. But the photo they flashed behind Brian Williams' shoulder was of James Brady, the former Reagan press secretary who was shot in the attempt on the President's life in 1981.

Brian has just corrected the mistake — but didn't mention the obvious: It's the second time the media have killed off James Brady. The gun control advocate, that is.

Gee, Jim, we cats wouldn't blame you if you're feeling a little paranoid. As for media irresponsibility and inaccuracy, we cats HISS.

Do you hear us? HISS!

Republicans Hate Planet Earth

By Sniffles

So.... The GOP prefers not to run to the aid of the ailing American people. The economic stimulus package was passed today with NO Republican support.

Reminds us of the economic package that Bill Clinton got passed with nary a GOP vote. It fixed the economy, as we recall. So today, if the Republicans would rather be on the wrong side of history, we cats say, let 'em.

Meanwhile, President Gore testified on the Hill today. (We cats love President Gore. Nobel Prize... *sigh.*) He said the quickest way to start arresting global warming would be to pass President Obama's stimulus package. So... the Republicans not only voted against the American people tonight — they voted against the planet.

Think about it.

Giving the GOP a Wedgie

By Zamboni

Are we reading too much into this, or did President Obama's comment about Rush Limbaugh do exactly what it was supposed to do?

Representative Phil Gingrey, Republican of Georgia, had to call the Fat One's radio show today and apologize. Why? Because he'd defended the Republican Congressional leadership against comments by the Fat One on Monday that they weren't standing up to Obama more. Well, the crazy nutbag Republican base swung into action — deluging Gingrey's office with outraged e-mails and phone calls. Heck, the lovable nuts over at Free Republic were even talking yesterday about fielding a primary opponent against Gingrey — who, ironically, is about as right-wing as they come.

This all started when the President told Congressional Republicans, "You can't just listen to Rush Limbaugh and get things done."

Now, we cats aren't saying that President Obama precisely knew that all this would happen. But he had to know that his remark was going to stir a hornet's nest in the Republican base — which would help marginalize the party even further, even while he held olive branches out to GOP members of the House.

Long story short: Obama clearly has prospered over the years because people have underestimated him. Can't you just see hundreds of whiny jerks (like Representative Eric Cantor) at Harvard, thinking they'd roll right over this guy on their way to the presidency of the Law Review? Most of them probably still don't know what hit them. Well, Representative Cantor, Eyeliner Man, Rush, Freepers.... join the club!

P.S. While we're at it, we don't understand why the Republicans don't seem to recognize that we're in a recession. Want proof? Say goodbye to Saturday mail. Guess "neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor hail" can compete with the George W. Bush Economic Meltdown.

(Image: Senator Al Franken's [D-MN] super 1996 book)

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

What Were We Just Saying?

By Baxter

So the folks posting over at Free Republic are pretty upset about President Obama's interview with the Saudi-financed network Al-Arabiya.

Never mind that both George W. Bush and Condoleezza Rice have appeared on the network before. Now that Obama's done it, it's anathema. And they don't like the President's appeal to the vast majority of Muslims who think flying airplanes into buildings is wrong.

"Islam only respects brute force against them," states one. Says another, "This is disturbing to put it simply. I mean Jesus he is 10x worse than carter [sic] with his naivety [sic]. I dont [sic] want to put the muslims [sic] at ease i [sic] want them to fear what will happen if one more major American [sic] gets attacked." He beamed back in a few minutes later, not to correct his spelling and punctuation, but to add the word "city" after "American."

Freeps, we cats are beginning to think that President Obama is way more than three steps ahead of you. We think he's driving bin Laden and al-Zawahiri crazy. And, um, why wouldn't you want that?

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Three Steps Ahead of Everybody

By Sniffles

The lesson so far: Never underestimate Barack Obama. One of the most satisfying aspects of the transition and our new President's first week in office is how he's continued to flummox his foes.

It's not just the folks over at Free Republic, where frustrated posters are reduced to sputtering about fairy tales like "the missing birth certificate." It's not just the GOP Congressional leaders who were smacked down at the White House the other day with "I won." It's not just the press, who unleashed their previously curbed aggressions on Robert Gibbs after the strain of covering four full days of national joy.

Now, it's al-Qaeda. The Washington Post reports that the lead guys in the world's most famous terrorist network kind of, um, don't know what to do about this man named Barack Hussein Obama.

In the words of a former CIA official: "They're highly uncertain about what they're getting in this new adversary. For al-Qaeda, as a matter of image and tone, George W. Bush had been a near-perfect foil."

We cats think this is delicious. Isn't it refreshing to be confusing the enemy instead of playing right into his hands?

Friday, January 23, 2009

North and South

By Zamboni

Before we cats tuck ourselves down for a satisfying, end-of-a-wonderful-week snooze, we must send some PURRs over to Scott Horton at Harper's magazine.

Mr. Horton's is the byline on a meow-y but really enjoyable little story about Condoleezza Rice's lack of, um, popularity at the State Department.

It seems that the career folks there were so happy to bid farewell to the imperious, it's-all-about-me Ms. Rice that they were referring to their joyful, boisterous welcome of Hillary Rodham Clinton as "The Glinda Party."

As if that weren't fun enough, here's why Mr. Horton deserves a scratchy kiss or two.

"I asked..." he writes, "if Hillary was Glinda, the Good Witch of the South from The Wizard of Oz, did that make Condoleezza Rice the Wicked Witch of the West?"

The emphasis is ours. You see, Glinda the Good was the Witch of the South — as L. Frank Baum, author of the Oz books, originally created her. It was Louis B. Mayer and the gang over at M-G-M who turned her into the Witch of the North. Whether Mr. Horton's accuracy was intentional or not, we're glad he got it right. (And a rub against the ankle to Keith Olbermann, who repeated it correctly on "Countdown" tonight.)

Meanwhile, we'd love to hear more about this Wicked Witch stuff — particularly now that the worthless Condoleezza, like her fellow war criminals from the Bush Administration, has melted.


What a Week!

By Baxter

Just a few days into the Obama Administration, and already the damage is starting to be undone. Guantanamo closing, new ethics rules proclaimed, transparency coming back to government, diplomacy and development returning to our foreign policy, and now, the absurd "Mexico City rule" overturned. We cats PURR.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Normie: Facing the Music?

By Sniffles

During the long tussle over the Minnesota Senate race, Congressional Republicans have been fond of saying that the outcome of the recount rests in the state and not in Washington, D.C.

They're afraid the Democrats would try to seat Al Franken, you see.

Well, now all that rhetoric has apparently changed. Creepy Norm Coleman, behind by 225 votes and locked out of his former Senate office, is making the rounds in Washington, trying to rally support for his losing cause.

We cats think that deep down, Normie knows he's done. He's taken a new job with the Republican Jewish Coalition.

The what? Gee. Are there enough people in that organization to make up a minyan?

(Image: Eeeuuuw!)

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

We Feel Better Already

At Last, "Smart Power" Can Begin

By Zamboni

We cats are excited to report that Hillary Rodham Clinton has been confirmed as Secretary of State in a nearly unanimous Senate vote.

We say "nearly" because Senators Jim DeMint and David Vitter, catering to their party's ever-more-marginalized right-wing base, tore themselves away from appointments with their favorite prostitutes (well, at least, in Vitter's case) and voted "no."

No doubt the message boards over at Free Republic are lighting up with delight over the Senators' future gesture, but as is often said to fans of losing teams, "Hey, idiots — what's the score?"

So we cats HISS at DeMint and Vitter for being, well, DeMint and Vitter. But lest we get carried away, here's a picture of the biggest buffoon of the week.

(Photo: AFP / Getty Images)

World, Saved, Expresses Joy & Relief

"Welcome back, dear America! We have missed you!"

—Letter to The New York Times from Ottawa, Ontario, published January 21, 2009

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

One Last, Parting Shot

By Baxter

Apparently the Worst Person Who Ever Lived thought he had to rebut today's Inaugural address. So he gave a rather defensive speech when he landed in Midland, Texas this afternoon.

(No, this photo is not from that event, although it's understandable how you'd get it confused.)

To which we cats say, hmmm.

Must have been an interesting flight from Washington. Maybe the Worst Person asked for a text of the speech he'd just heard, so he could pore over it again and realize just how hard the new President had bitch-slapped him and his Administration. Maybe as the miles went by and the landscape under him started turning Texas red, he couldn't get out of his mind how the enormous crowd had booed him when he walked onto the Inaugural podium, and how they sang "Hey, Hey, Goodbye" as he left Capitol Hill. Maybe he got madder and madder the closer he got to Midland — or just started channeling the ghost of Richard Nixon.

Maybe. But we cats are certain of one thing. While we can't yet know all the damage he's wrought, Bush is now part of the history that he keeps insisting will judge him. We already have.

UPDATE, January 23: We told you so. Although they took great pains to claim that the Worst Person Who Ever Lived didn't take part (yeah, right), those awful diehard Bushies groused all the way from Washington. Then, they hit the ground running with complaints about the Inaugural address. Perhaps they didn't realize that President Obama's speech reflected 1) the views of the majority of the American people and 2) the very reasons the GOP got its butt kicked last year.

Thank God Almighty, We're Free at Last

"We reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more."

...This is Now!

What a difference eight long years can make.

That Was Then....

Remember the mood on January 20, 2001?

Monday, January 19, 2009

Cheney's Final Hours: Hell On Wheels

By Sniffles

News flash: Dick Cheney, The Worst Person Who Ever Lived If Indeed He Were A Person, will attend tomorrow's Inauguration in a wheelchair.

TWPWELIIHWAP pulled a muscle moving into his new dungeon in McLean, Virginia today. Awwwww!

Well, at least it's an occasion to remember the late, great Richard Widmark. We cats can dream, can't we?

(Photo: "Kiss of Death," 1947)

World to Bush: You Sucked

By Zamboni

Bush's second big lie in his psychotic farewell speech last week — his first was that he "kept us safe" — is that America's standing in the world is still strong.

Well, perhaps on this eve of our much-anticipated freedom, we cats should not quibble with The Worst Person Who Ever Lived. After all, it appears that the world is pleased with us again — but only because we elected Barack Obama. They're still mighty unhappy with the guy who's leaving.

How do we know? Check out these comments from newspapers around the globe:

"Bush was an unmitigated disaster, failing on the big issues from the invasion of Iraq to global warming, Hurricane Katrina and the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression." —Toronto Sun

"The United States was once the symbol of justice in the world but that has been damaged by Bush." —Wiener Zeitung, Austria.

"Perhaps we could say that fate... ultimately helped [the American people] by making sure the President would spend half his time on vacation. Indeed, he would have caused twice the damage if he had been more active and focused." —al-Hayat, the pan-Arabic newspaper

"A weak leader, Bush was just overwhelmed in the job. He confused stubbornness with principles... [I]t will take a long time to repair that damage." —Sueddeutsche Zeitung, Germany

"Bush leaves a legacy of wars and the world economy in meltdown. He has been dismissed as a buffoon and a war-monger, a man who made the world a more dangerous place while sending it to the brink of economic collapse." —The Scottish Daily Record

"It's hard to find a historian who won't say that Bush was the most catastrophic leader the U.S. has ever known." —Le Monde, Paris

Sacre bleu! What brutal verdicts. And, we're sorry to say, well deserved. But we cats look forward to the day when the world once again likes the guy who represents us — a day that's just about 15 hours away. PURRRRRRRRRR.

"This Land is Your Land, This Land is My Land"

Folk legend Pete Seeger performs with Bruce Springsteen at the "We Are One" Obama Inaugural concert at the Lincoln Memorial, Sunday, January 18, 2009.

(Photo from the right-wing site Free Republic, where posters are, as predicted, mighty upset about this — but not too upset to post great pictures of it. Thanks, Freeps!)

Sunday, January 18, 2009

We Heart (that other) Michaelle

By Baxter

An ankle rub and a nice scratchy kiss to Canada's Governor General, Michaelle Jean, who has inflamed the Freepers and their friends with a pro-Obama comment she made in Haiti this weekend.

Barack Obama's election to the Presidency "is a major step not only for the U.S.A., not only for the world's black population, but also for humanity," the Haitian-born G.G. said.

We cats think Madame Jean is spot on. But as you can imagine, the disgruntled right wing is, well, disgruntled. Must be tough to see the whole world having a party that you refuse to go to.

Meanwhile, allez-y, Madame G.G.! We PURR at you. And good luck with all that stuff going on in Ottawa next week.

Freepers, On The Edge

By Sniffles

It's Day Two of Obama-Biden Inaugural fun, so we cats thought we'd check in on those lovable right wingers who post comments over at Free Republic.

It had been a little while since we'd last beamed in. But we figured that the sight of Pete Seeger singing at the "We Are One" concert this afternoon had surely driven them mad. (Pete's a Communist, ya know.)

So we must report that yes, the Freepers are clearly about to lose it. Maybe it wasn't just the location of the concert itself — the Lincoln Memorial — but all the references to the 16th President and the Civil War that have really gotten to them. We're not sure. But something about today has led them to call for seceding from the United States. (Todd Palin, is that you? You wild and crazy guy!)

Then one of them proposed something even more drastic. "It is my opinion that only a military coup will save this republic," he said.

Hm. Well, at least he spelled and punctuated everything correctly. Meanwhile, we cats trust that we're not the only ones keeping an eye on these nutbags.

The Torch is Passing...

By Zamboni

"I luv my new prez," says an enthusiastic commenter over at Huffington Post today, and we cats couldn't agree more. As they sang in "My Fair Lady" (and as we're now singing to Bush), "Just a few more hours....That's all the time you've got."

Meanwhile, the Inaugural festivities and observances roll along, much to our delight. We cats are particularly gratified at this morning's visit by President-elect Obama and Vice President-elect Joe Biden to the Tomb of the Unknowns. How refreshing to see a wreath laid by someone who isn't responsible for the needless deaths of 4,200 American soldiers.

We cats wonder, too, if Tuesday might not just be the blessed end to a long national nightmare but if it also will signal an additional change in how we treat the troops. The Bushies are very fond of using soldiers as handy props, but — when they haven't been recklessly killing them off — really haven't done a hell of a lot for them. Michelle Obama, on the other hand, has already signaled that aid to military families will be one of her top priorities. Will we, then, soon witness Obama-Biden do something Bush and Cheney never have in their entire eight years of misused power — attend a soldier's funeral?

We'll see. In the meantime, we'd settle for lifting the ban on photos of returning coffins. Either way, the Bush-Cheney charade is coming to an end. We cats PURR.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Strike That Phrase, Media

By Baxter

This will probably surprise you, but today we cats feel we have to speak up for the birds.

Don't get us wrong. We're very happy that everyone survived when USAirways flight 1549 hydroplaned into the Hudson River on Thursday. But we're so tired of this term "bird strike." Everyone's using it, which makes us suspect that it's aviation lingo that the lazy folks in the media are just parroting (ha, ha, pun intended) because they can't think of a better phrase. But we sure wish they would.

To us, "bird strike" implies that 1549's close call was the fault of those poor Canada geese that the plane hit. That's right, that the plane hit — and then chopped into pieces in its engines. Definitely, the geese did some major damage — but it was the plane that struck the birds, not the other way around. (We'd like to also point out that birds have been flying eons longer than humans, by the way).

Oh, well, we'll let it go. We cats just hope that folks realize how rare an event like 1549 is. But if you're still feeling a little nervous about flying, why not take the train?

UPDATE: See? The folks at 23/6 agree... "bird strike" connotes "bird attack." Move over, Tippi!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Yes, We're Being Catty

By Sniffles

Because we can be, that's why. (And yes, we know that President-elect Obama wouldn't approve.)

But see, we well remember the end of a previous Democratic Administration, when the streets of Washington were suddenly packed with gas-guzzling stretch limousines and smug, preening Republicans in fur coats. Fur — on people! Ick!

We also remember when a second Democratic Administration departed, and false rumors were spread through a credulous media about how the offices in the White House and the OEOB were left trashed. Repeat, false rumors.

So forgive us if we remain unmoved by stories of tearful departures by the Bushies today. Many staffers will turn in their badges at close of business this afternoon, while others will move out by the end of the weekend. We couldn't care less if they find it traumatic. Hurry it up, in fact. As for that one member of Laura Bush's staff who's taking a three-week vacation in Hawaii — we hope the first thing she sees when she gets off the plane is a sign that says, "BIRTHPLACE OF PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA."

And that ridiculous performance by the Worst Person Who Ever Lived last night? We've read about it, but did not watch it. Because we're sick of his smirk and his self-justifications and his lies, and we're tired of being told he kept us safe when he didn't. We are through with him. Done.

Well, now that we've gotten that out of our systems, we feel much better.

Meow! Time for a nap.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

King of the Clowns

By Zamboni

Now, maybe cats called "Zamboni" shouldn't be tossing off comments about people's names, or reactions to names.

But Representative Steve King is an idiot.

The Iowa Republican who claimed that Al Qaeda would "dance in the streets" if Obama were elected — hey, the only crowds we saw dancing in the streets that night were Americans — now is all tied up in knots about President-elect Obama's plans to use his full name when he's sworn in next Tuesday.

Steve! We have a message for you, and we want you to listen very carefully. His name is Barack Hussein Obama. That's the way it is. He was given that name in 1961, and it has nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with September 11, the current situation in the Middle East, or the dead guy who used to run the country that we invaded on a lie. We think that the 65 million people who voted for him on November 4 understood that.

Besides, it reflects his family heritage, which for the first time for a President in over 200 years is not white or Anglo-Saxon-y. So when you think about it, "Hussein" isn't really any weirder than, say, "Quincy," "Birchard," "Gamaliel," or — our personal favorite — "Milhous." And of course Harry Truman had no middle name, only a middle initial, but we digress.

Mr. King also claims that Presidents do not have a tradition of answering to their full names at Inaugurations, and that, therefore, Mr. Obama shouldn't use his, either. But Mr. King is completely wrong. In fact, we cats vividly remember the frisson of surprise that ran through the crowd in 1977 when Chief Justice Warren Burger said, "I, James Earl Carter," and the 39th President replied, "I, Jimmy Carter..."

So. Steve. Cut it out. You're acting like a clown. We cats HISS at you, and dump our dirty litter box on your head.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Tidbits and Cat Treats, 2.0

By Baxter

We cats go on sensory overload every time we check the headlines these days. There's way too much going on, but we'll try to share a few quick observations.

We think it's so special that Politico posts RNC press releases without editing them. That, at least, was our reaction to the fantastic (i.e., "existing in the imagination") story about how the latest Senate retirements could be good for the GOP. Like most of today's so-called journalists, Politico has very little institutional memory. What, no discussion of the Republicans' inability over the last several elections to recruit top-tier candidates? Heck, they've even forgotten that Jeb Bush isn't running in Florida.

We agree with Max Baucus that Timothy Geithner is going to get confirmed as Treasury Secretary. The nation's problems are too big, and there's no time to lose. But, financial crisis or no financial crisis, we can't help thinking that — as a guy — Geithner's getting off a little more easily on the whole housekeeper question than, say, Zoe Baird or Kimba Wood did.

Good thing President-elect Obama has the most famous pair of pecs in the world, because Ricardo ("The Wrath of Khan") Montalban died today. The torch has indeed been passed — in more ways than we thought.

And finally, Gene Robinson. Ahh, Gene Robinson. Some of our good friends on the left are fussing that inviting the openly gay bishop to pray at the opening Inaugural event on Sunday is insufficient payback for Rick Warren's invocation at the swearing-in itself. Fair 'nuff. We agree that Rick Warren has no place on that Inaugural podium on Tuesday. But think of it this way. President-elect Obama has already put Warren in a bit of a box with the original invitation — because Warren's presence could be seen by his followers, most of whom supported McCain, as an endorsement of Obama. But wait, there's more. Now, Warren will be part of a national celebration that will be kicked off by a homosexual. We cats wonder how the folks at Saddleback feel about that.

P.S. "Saddleback" still sounds awfully gay to us.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Cat Fight! Freepers Go After the RNC

By Sniffles

We cats know that we simply have to tear ourselves away from the Free Republic, but it's so darn hard. After all, they make for such fine entertainment that they literally write our posts for us.

So, okay. We promise that unless we find some delicious, garment-rending, anti-Mike-Huckabee railings in the next few days, this will be the last series of quotes for awhile. But we just couldn't resist sharing the Freepers' disgust with the Republican National Committee and its endless solicitations for cash. (Wow. Don't think we'd want to be making Republican fundraising calls in this political climate, no, sir.)

Anyway, here are the best Freeper frothings, grammatical warts and all. Fun stuff!

"I have gotten several calls... I simply say, 'When there is an RNC again, call me back.'”

"I can’t even think of the RNC without lots of vulgarities."

"I have beaten up different RNC folks asking me for money... I told the last one that, [sic] until the Republicans return to their conservative roots and stop acting like liberals, they won’t get another penny from me."

"We get calls from RNC almost daily, but they won’t talk to me. They apparently can only speak with my husband."

"I have worked at RNC headquarters. You have NO idea how amazingly arrogant they are there. We hardly have the right to tread the earth, much less shake hands with such as they."

"I will not support the RNC or the Minnesota GOP in any way, shape or form until the Republican Party, at all it's [sic] levels, repents of it [sic] deviance from the Party's sacred principles and it's [sic] abandonment of the Party's Platform."

"The RNC had zero influence on me. I could care less [sic] who they were for."

Cat Fight! Huckabee Goes After Palin

"Now, I must say I did not think that either the Charlie Gibson interview or the Katie Couric interviews [of Sarah Palin] were unfair. In fact, if anything, Katie Couric was extraordinarily gentle, even helpful. [Palin] just... I don't know what happened. I can't explain it. It was not a good interview. I'm being charitable."

—Mike Huckabee, in Esquire magazine

Cat Fight! Freepers Go After Meghan

By Zamboni

Goodness, but news travels fast. Megan McCain's non-comment about Sarah Palin was barely out of her mouth before indignant postings started lighting up the message boards over at Free Republic. Ahhh, Republican unity...

Here are a few choice nuggets.

"I see the apple doesn't rot far from the tree!"

"I have a feeling the McCain's [sic] get together and blame Sarah for their loss."

"The entire [McCain] family is made up of LOSERS. Thank our Good Lord McLame didn’t win... McLame would’ve forever tainted what’s left of the Republican name and the conservative movement."

"Looks like the McCains are just without class."

"Who cares what mini-me Cindy [sic] thinks about Palin."

"At the very least, these McCains are rude."

Falling Like Flies

By Baxter

Just one week till the Inauguration, and we cats are stocking up on Pounces and catnip for a long, satisfying day in front of the telly.

Meanwhile, things are, um, not so good in Republican World.

Their wildly unpopular President, who can't seem to take a hint, keeps popping up with farewell after farewell. The one he held yesterday was worthy of Captain Queeg. (George W., we'll let you in on a little secret: You didn't keep America safe in the first place.)

As if that weren't bad enough... With George Voinovich's admission that he won't be able to weather a 2010 re-election campaign in Ohio — lots of people out of work in Ohio, you know — the Republicans, heading into the next election cycle, are already down four Senators: Mr. Voinovich, Missouri's Kit Bond, that nutty Sam Brownback from Kansas, and the ever-ineffectual Mel Martinez of Florida. (They've got 20 seats to defend next year, compared to the Democrats' 17.)

Next, the contest for chair of the Republican Party is shaping up to be a cranky exercise with lackluster candidates — most of whom will, if chosen, continue the Party's damaging obeisance to its narrow, right-wing, Southern base.

And the piece de resistance? Meghan McCain's recent statement to the blogosphere, reflecting the unity and comity (NOT!) that currently rule the Republican Party. "Sarah Palin is the only part of the [McCain] campaign that I won't comment on publicly," she sniffed.

Meow! We Democratic cats PURR.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

...And They Can't Spell or Punctuate, Either

"Any state that would send Al Franken to the senate is to [sic] stupid to be a state."

"Any state that would send Al Franken, Diane [sic] Feinstein, Barbara Boxer, Ted Kennedy, (oh heck, there just isn't enough time to type all of em in)..etc,etc,etc to the senate is to [sic] stupid to be a state."

—Comments posted at Free Republic, Saturday, January 10

Freepers, Abandoned by God, Refuse to Pray

By Sniffles

After so many years of the Christian Right trying to push their God stuff on the rest of us mind-our-own-business Americans, it's particularly satisfying to see them embroiled in a religious controversy of their own.

They've been orgasmically praying for George W. Bush for so long now that suddenly it's a shock when one of their own posted a "Pray for Our Nation and President-elect Obama" thread over at Free Republic.

Well! You can just imagine how up in arms they were about that. Never mind that the original poster was worried about "homosexual activists" and what the Obama Administration will "do" to national defense. Plenty o' Freepers were just apoplectic over the idea of praying for Barack Obama at all.

"No. Obamanation doesn’t need prayers," said one. "This forum doesn't have to 'fair' (as in Fairness Doctrine)," huffed another. "These people don't need to be prayed for — they need to be stopped. Really! I'm offended by this." "As am I," a third concurred. "Coming up next: a prayer thread for Charles Manson!"

Finally, the head Freeper (or whoever) had to chime in a couple of times with a stern reminder. "Free Republic rules prohibit debate on threads in the religion forum marked 'Prayer.' Please respect these rules."

How grimly amusing. Hey, Freeps, you're the guys who profess to follow the fella who said you have to love your enemies, turn the other cheek, and judge not lest you be judged (Luke 6:27-37). Pretty tough, isn't it?

We cats — who HISS at your tediously predictable intolerance — think that President-elect Obama is a way nicer person than you Freepers are. Here's proof.

GOP: Al Franken is So Mean to Us!

By Zamboni

More Cheshire cat smiles for us this morning as we read comments by frustrated Republicans about what an awful person Al Franken is.

"It’s one thing to lose to an honorable opponent, but Al Franken is not considered an honorable opponent by Minnesota Republicans," said State Party Chair (and sore loser) Ron Carey. "He's been so nasty!" wailed the top Republican in the Minnesota House.

Aw, gee. The way the Republicans are whining, you'd think Al Franken was cackling "I'll get you!" and trying to steal their ruby slippers. When, actually, we've met Mr. Franken several times (he's held special fundraisers just for cats). And he's always struck us as anything but mean. Instead, he's bright, informed, concerned, funny (yes, funny) and — here's what the Republicans are probably afraid of — angry about the abuses of the Bush Administration and eager to set things right.

Never mind the fact that complaining about someone being "callous and partisan and beyond the pale" doesn't really wash when it comes from a Party that started all the callous and partisan and beyond-the-pale stuff in the first place. Gosh, you Republicans sure can dish it out, can't you?

These elephantine hypocrites are comforting themselves with one thought: that Senator Franken will be a great "fundraising tool" for them.

You mean the way Senator Clinton has been? Gosh, that's worked out really great for you guys the last couple of election cycles, hasn't it?

Friday, January 9, 2009

Pawlenty to Normie: Pack It In?

By Baxter

Now that polls are starting to show Minnesota voters' desire to accept Senator-elect Al Franken and move on, our thoughts are turning to someone whose name is not frequently mentioned in the whole Franken-Coleman fracas.

But it's a name that, politically, should be front and center. Because aside from former Senator Coleman — who never deserved Paul Wellstone's Senate seat in the first place — the Republican whose dilemma we must cackle over with glee is Governor Tim Pawlenty.

"T Paw," the titular head of his state party and someone who surely harbors 2012 aspirations, is in a no-win situation. If former Senator Coleman refuses to withdraw his legal challenges and Minnesota is left with one Senator for months, Pawlenty — a cheery champion of bipartisanship and getting stuff done — will be under enormous political pressure to urge Normie to drop out.

So either the Governor angers his constituents by allowing the Coleman charade to continue, or he completely enrages his party's wing-nut base.

We cats almost feel sorry for the guy — except, of course, since he's a Republican, we don't.

Benedict McCain

By Sniffles

For all the kerfuffling over Sarah Palin's latest interview, we cats can't say we really care. Everything that comes out of the woman's mouth is just such flapdoodle. And besides, she's the Republicans' problem, not ours, which makes us very happy — because oh, what a problem she is. (Sorry, Mitt, Mike, Newt, Tim, Bobby, Haley and ya'll.)

But we will say one thing, and then we'll be done with it.

John McCain committed an act of near-treason by nominating a patently unqualified person to be his Vice President. And we'd say that even if he weren't a 72-year-old cancer survivor.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

You're Right, Sarah — Caroline Has Class, and You Don't

"I’ve been interested to see how Caroline Kennedy will be handled [by the media] and if she will be handled with kid gloves or if she will be under such a microscope also. It’s going to be interesting to see how that plays out and I think that as we watch that we will perhaps be able to prove that there is a class issue here also that was such a factor in the scrutiny of my candidacy versus, say, the scrutiny of what her [Senate] candidacy may be.”

—Sarah Palin, in an interview for a conservative documentary called "How Obama Got Elected"

Those Were the Days, My Friends

By Zamboni

Speaking of Jeb Bush not running for the Senate: The wackos on the Christian Right are making us smile like Cheshire cats.

They so want to remind us how the Republican Party began its second-Bush-term self-immolation with its hysterical intervention in the Terri Schiavo affair back in 2005.

How are they doing it? By trying to stir up right-wing umbrage over President-elect Obama's appointment of Thomas J. Perrelli to the number-three job at Justice. You see, lawyer Perrelli advised Michael Schiavo's successful bid to remove the feeding tube of his wife, who was being kept alive in a persistent vegetative state.

Nonsensically connecting the Schiavo case to a woman's right to choose, the Christian Coalition calls President-elect Obama's sub-Cabinet nominee "Piranha Perrelli" and laments their failure to prevent him and "his fellow pro-abortion henchmen from killing this innocent Florida woman."

Hm. We cats don't get the "piranha" nickname. But we sure are happy that the right-wing nutbags are resurrrecting the Schiavo nightmare. Although we're sorry that Michael Schiavo has to put up with his name being in the news again, we recall that nearly 80 percent of the American people opposed the Republicans' interference in his and his wife's private lives.

In the words of former Republican Senator Chuck Hagel: "Was [the Schiavo bill] a mistake? Yes. I think most Americans agree. There are things the government should stay out of — and that was one of them."

So have at it, you wonderful, nutty Christians, you. Keep dragging the Republican Party down as you yank it further to the right. We PURR at you for your utter, but useful, silliness.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Restore America: Give Bush the You-Know-What

By Baxter

We cats never regret being cats. Sure, we don't run a big corporation or know how to do long division or anything like that — but one does not ever rue one's existence as a Superior Being.

However, just now we kind of wish we had hands instead of paws. Because if we did, we could join the "Finger Salute to Bush" movement.

Here's the idea: On Inauguration Day, after President Obama is sworn in and George W. Bush's helicopter leaves the South Lawn of the White House for the last time, millions of Americans will stand up joyfully and say goodbye in the best way they know how.

By flipping him the bird.

Gosh, does anyone deserve it more than Bush? (Okay, maybe Cheney.) But aside from a certain sense of gleeful satisfaction it would give, a collective "up yours" to The Worst Person Who Ever Lived could do more than anything to effectively counter the misinformation of Bush's recent, tone-deaf "legacy tour." You know, the one in which the nation's problems were everyone's fault but his?

That's right, America. Tell Bush what you think of the destruction of our civil liberties, the political hijacking of the Justice Department, the waging of unnecessary war, the drowning of New Orleans, the escape of Osama bin Laden, and the destruction of our economy. If you can't get a group together to finger-salute for the cameras (MSM or otherwise), just do it in the privacy of your living rooms.

We cats will watch you with appreciation and envy. And maybe wave our little paws in the air, to celebrate the Age of Obama.

Cave, Harry

By Sniffles

We cats don't believe in slinging gratuitous mud, particularly at fellow Democrats. But we have to confess that we're not exactly wild about Harry.

We won't go into all the reasons, but the Roland Burris conundrum just crystallizes it for us. Majority Leader Reid hasn't shown much leadership on this silly situation.

Yes, we know it's crazy, and yes, we know that everyone involved has behaved pretty badly. But face it, Harry. You've been outfoxed by the Governor with the weird hair. So please just accept Roland Burris and focus on the Senate seat that really matters: Minnesota.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Bushes: Selfish to the End

By Zamboni

In a world that has seen hockey played at Wrigley Field in January, it's comforting to know that some things never change.

Yep, the Bushes still believe it's All About Them.

Latest case in point: After weeks and weeks of speculation, Jeb Bush has finally decided he won't run for Mel Martinez's Florida Senate seat.

Now, we cats don't mind Jebbie's dithering a bit. But we hate to think about all the nasty words that other Florida Republicans had for their former Governor after he effectively froze the race for two crucial months. That was precious time other GOP hopefuls could have used to organize and fundraise. Now, George W.'s baby brother has thrown them all into a frustrated tizzy.

What a shame. But that's what happens when you have to indulge the whims of someone with a Bushian sense of entitlement.

Despite Jebbie's obvious feeling that the world owes him, we cats suspect that he decided he just couldn't survive a Senate race. But not because his name is Bush. We can think of too many other reasons — like his wife, the customs criminal who doesn't speak English. His wayward children. His disenfranchisement of African-American voters in 2000. His long string of shady business dealings. And, of course, the ghost of Terri Schiavo.


“As of today not every valid vote has been counted and some have been counted twice.” —Former Senator Norm Coleman, January 6, 2009

"I have great confidence in the Minnesota system." —Former Senator Norm Coleman, November 5, 2008

Monday, January 5, 2009

Franken Wins! Let the Drumbeat Begin...

By Baxter

The Minnesota Canvassing Board has certified the results of the 2008 Senate race. But the state itself cannot certify a winner until any and all legal challenges are resolved.

Which means Minnesota only has one Senator right now. Because although Al Franken is ahead by 225 votes, Norm "Let the Healing Process Begin" Coleman says he'll contest the election. So we all have to do a Tinkerbell and clap our hands. We need a chorus of voices to tell Normie to DROP THE HECK OUT.

After all, here's what Norm Coleman himself said, on the day after Election Day:

"I have great confidence in the Minnesota system. I have confidence whether I would have won or lost. I've run a lot of races. I've never questioned the way in which our election system works... I think we take pride in the system we have in the state, and I don't believe there'd be any reason for there to be an exception in yesterday's race."

We have confidence in the Minnesota system, too, former Senator Coleman. HISS!

(Photo: Carlos Gonzalez, Minneapolis Star-Tribune)

A "Blair" for Bad Manners

By Sniffles

Leaving Chicago, and asked whether he was excited to be moving to D.C. at last, President-elect Obama told The Washington Post, "Yeah, although living in a hotel for two weeks, we kind of did that for two years."

Lest his comment seem ungracious — the Obamas are staying at the prestigious Hay-Adams until they can move into the White House — allow us cats to say that we're glad the President-elect took this little shot. The Bushes deserve it, for they are the ones showing bad manners and a lack of hospitality.

Now, in terms of importance, we realize that this issue doesn't rank with the economy, loose nukes or the Gaza Strip. But if we had had eyebrows instead of whiskers, we would have raised them when the Bush Administration refused the Obamas' request to stay at Blair House until the Inauguration. Apparently the traditional home for incoming heads of state is booked by the outgoing Republicans "for various events."

What they mean is, they're having parties there.

Heck, we cats understand Blair House parties. We even attended one during a previous outgoing Administration. But back then, the incoming President's children were adults and did not need to start school today.

Therefore, we HISS at the Bushies for this. On top of all the damage they've done in eight long years, it's just one more thing, isn't it?

Saturday, January 3, 2009

What About That "Healing Process," Norm?

By Zamboni

Creepy Norm Coleman sure was eager to close the books on the Minnesota Senate race when he was in the lead.

Now, not so much.

Two months ago, the incumbent Republican was quick not just to declare victory but also to demand that Democratic Farmer Labor Party challenger Al Franken waive his right to a recount. Counting the votes again, Mr. Coleman averred, would cost too much, and certainly wouldn't change the outcome of a race he then led by a margin of 438. "I just think the need for the healing process is so important," he burbled.

How things have changed.

One recount later, Al Franken leads by 49, Coleman is considering filing a legal challenge, and Senate Republicans are whining that they'll filibuster any Democratic effort to seat Franken if he's certified the winner this week. Meanwhile, Normie could lose his Senate privileges when his term officially expires — something we cats devoutly hope comes to pass.

Ahhh, Republicans. Their sense of entitlement knows no bounds. First they call on Franken to essentially concede before all the votes are counted — and now they're pitching a fit if the Democratic majority in the Senate tries to welcome a certified winner to their ranks.

"The height of arrogrance," Texas Republican John Cornyn sniffed. We cats suggest that Senator Cornyn and his GOP pals look in the mirror when they say stuff like that.

UPDATE: The recount is finished, and Franken leads by 225. It's time for Coleman to concede so that the healing process can begin.