Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Dorian Kushner

Yep, we're still seeing the resemblance. In lots of ways.

Strangers On A Train

By Zamboni

If we cats were writing a bad novel about two guys who get killed defending a couple of Muslim girls from a white supremacist, Jeremy Joseph Christian, our editor would say, "Change the bad guy's last name. Too obvious."

But that is indeed what happened this weekend in Portland, Oregon. The alt-right jackass killer's name is Christian — we swear. Which is an interesting contrast to the names of his victims, Taliesen Myrddin Namkai-Meche (hmmm, Steven Bannon is scratching his chin doubtfully... doesn't sound like a real American, does it?) and Ricky John Best, who simply, was.

What worries us most now (aside from absolutely everything else about this awful story) is that decent people in America will no longer stand up to hate and harassment and bigotry, out of fear for their lives — forgetting that actions like the ones Namkai-Meche and Best took always carry with them an element of risk. Just ask anyone who marched during the civil rights movement, or who provide abortions or escort to the clinics the women who need them.

Add to that the fact that we have a bullying bigot in the White House who will certainly be undeterred by appeals from Namkai-Meche's mom, or anyone else. Is all lost?

Maybe, maybe not. Consider Namkai-Meche's last words to the woman he'd tried to defend. "I want everybody on this train to know I love them." If we can all live in that young man's spirit, maybe there's hope for the country. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Sunday, May 28, 2017

JFK 100

Gosh, can it be? The "hundred" number we always associated with him was 109 (as in, PT). Could this young President who inspired so many around the world really be marking his centenary? Just goes to show you, ideals like the ones Jack Kennedy promoted are timeless. We cats wish him a happy birthday, and we PURR.

William Shatner Sings "O Canada"

Trust us, this is worth watching.

Saturday, May 27, 2017

We Agree!

A good thought to hang onto as a disastrous trip ends — and we all try to recover from Donald Trump's boorish, embarrassing and destructive behavior.

Friday, May 26, 2017

Big Sky, Big GOP Spending

By Sniffles

Yes, we know that Democrat Rob Quist lost the Montana special Congressional election last night by about 6 percent. But we cats are thinking maybe it wasn't that bad.

First, goodness gracious, but the Republicans had to dump a bunch of money into this race. In MONTANA. What swing districts are going to be harder for them to spend to defend down the road?

Second, they've been saddled with an idiot who beats up reporters. We're betting that Paul Ryan wishes he had a less-tainted member joining his caucus. As for us, LOCK HIM UP.

Third, um, okay, don't take this wrong, but didn't Bernie Sanders go all in on this race? Didn't appear to do much for the outcome, did it? But don't blame us — Bernie's not a Democrat.

But enough snark: The big thing is that the Republicans had to scramble to win this. We cats think we've gotten our money's worth in this race. Which merits a soft PURR.

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Picture This.

By Baxter

It's been bugging us cats for a long time: Who does Jared Kushner remind us of? Pundits we admire have compared him to Norman Bates, but that may be a function more of personality than physical resemblance. Goodness knows Jared Kushner is super-creepy (and, as we now know, under investigation).

Then today we saw the photo at top, and it hit us: Hurd Hatfield in "The Picture of Dorian Gray."

Are we right? Or are we just seduced by the fact that Hatfield's most notable film role was the Oscar Wilde protagonist who sells his soul to the Devil so that his portrait, and not he, will age and decay? Dorian Gray goes on to live a life of sin and corruption — while his face in the picture reflects every horrific misdeed.

Want to see how Jared will look once his anti-American Russian escapades catch up with him? You can visit the picture of Dorian Gray at the Art Institute of Chicago. We cats PURR.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

The Real Losers

By Miss Kubelik

Today, as the alleged President of the United States calls suicide bombers by a name that a guy in the bleachers with a beer in his hand would use, we're reminded of a time when our Commander-in-Chief had a broad and beautiful vocabulary.

But ya know what? We don't have to pine for our now-retired President Barack Obama to find a politician whose words inspire. Look no farther than Mayor Mitch Landrieu of New Orleans, for heaven's sake.

Landrieu spoke as his city pulled down the last of four Confederate monuments that, um, people who are Donald Trump's favorite word protested against and, no doubt, made countless death threats about. And wow, what a speech.

Landrieu quoted Martin Luther King, of course, but just as significant, he quoted George W. Bush — who, before Donald Trump came along, was to us cats The Worst Person Who's Ever Lived. We think it's significant that Landrieu reached for Bush, who will be forever reviled in history as the heartless jerk who let New Orleans drown after Hurricane Katrina.

"As President Bush said at the dedication ceremony for the National Museum of African American History and Culture," Landrieu reminded everybody, "'A great nation does not hide its history. It faces its flaws and corrects them.'"

But wait, there's more.

"The historic record is clear," Landrieu said. "The Robert E. Lee, Jefferson Davis and P.G.T. Beauregard statues were not erected just to honor these men, but as part of the movement which became known as The Cult of the Lost Cause. This 'cult' had one goal...to rewrite history to hide the truth, which is that the Confederacy was on the wrong side of humanity.

"It is self-evident that these men did not fight for the United States of America, They fought against it. They may have been warriors, but in this cause they were not patriots.

"...[I]n the second decade of the 21st century, asking African Americans — or anyone else — to drive by property that they own, occupied by reverential statues of men who fought to destroy the country and deny that person's humanity, seems perverse and absurd."

To read the whole speech, click here. Meanwhile, we cats PURR in Mayor Landrieu's direction and thank him for his sensitive and illuminating words. We're so glad that in the age of Trump in America, eloquence still exists.

(UPDATE: It looks like we cats, columnist Frank Bruni and the headline writers at The New York Times were channeling each other.)

Monday, May 22, 2017

Another Thank-You Note To Write!

By Zamboni

We cats are routinely appalled at the racist pigs who populate the modern Republican Party. But even we have to admit that, occasionally, they're capable of shining some light through the cracks.

So we're penning a fast thank-you to the usually execrable Mississippi state representative Karl Oliver, who was so worked up over the removal of Confederate monuments in New Orleans that he called for the statues' opponents to be lynched.

So, ugh, okay — two points.

First, thank you, Normally Incredibly Stupid Mr. Oliver, for proving New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu's point that the monuments simply have to come down. Second, thank you for issuing an actual apology.

Here's what Oliver said:

"I am very sorry. [Lynched] is in no way, ever, an appropriate term. I deeply regret that I chose this word, and I do not condone the actions I referenced, nor do I believe them in my heart. I freely admit my choice of words was horribly wrong, and I humbly ask your forgiveness."

At least he didn't say he was sorry "if anyone was offended." We cats kinda halfway PURR.

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Sunday Quickie: Marco Rubio, Still An Idiot

By Sniffles

We cats find it silly when the mainstream media start to "notice" that Republicans are "distancing themselves" from the maniac in the White House. After all, they nominated him. And probably voted for him — and have voted with him since 90-plus percent of the time.

And it's even more irritating when Republicans like Baby Marco Rubio talk about Trump and say things like "People got what they voted for."

Um — no, we didn't, Baby Marco, you fool. Hillary Clinton won the popular vote, remember? Three million more of us voted for her — and we're still stuck with this crap. We cats dump our dirty litter boxes on Baby Marco's thinning-hair head, and we HISS.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Keep It On The Kitchen Table

By Baxter

While the world is consumed with Donald Trump's collusion with Russia, blabbing of Israeli intelligence and obstruction of justice, the Democratic Party is busy recruiting good candidates for the 2018 midterms and special elections and focusing on policy issues.

Taking center stage in these House races (and in the Democrats' campaign ads) is the GOP's obsession with giving tax cuts to the wealthy, waging war on the environment and going after organizations that help protect women's reproductive freedom. And, of course, healthcare, healthcare, healthcare. As in, the Republicans want to let insurers deny coverage to people with pre-existing conditions.

We cats think this is smart. Thanks to pressure that mainstream media like The New York Times, The Washington Post, McClatchey, Reuters and others feel to scoop one another, the Trump Treason Train is being amply covered. We Democrats just have to keep the spotlight on how miserable our lives would be, economic-wise and everything-else-wise, if the Republicans get their way.

That's good strategy. On the other hand, if any of our 2018 candidates want to mention that Trump bowed to the Saudi king today, we won't stop them. We cats PURR.

Friday, May 19, 2017

Repeal And Replace

By Miss Kubelik

Gosh, will anyone believe us cats if we say that just two days ago, we observed that the headline war between The Washington Post and The New York Times was reminiscent of Watergate? Forty-plus years later, those two journalistic giants are still duking it out when it comes to covering the death of a Presidency. That's reassuring to those of us who, unlike most of the GOP, still believe in democracy.

Every day, it seems, both papers (as well as citizen journalists on the Twitter thing) have been breaking story after story on Team Trump's treason. So the next round of Pulitzers should be pretty interesting, no?

Meanwhile, we know that there's no Constitutional remedy for invalidating an election. After all, how could the founders have foreseen this? And yes, we know the Republicans are in control of Congress. But since they voted more than 50 times to repeal Obamacare, they clearly don't shy from trying to overturn precedent. So it should be a slam-dunk for them to introduce legislation to nullify the tainted results of November 8, 2016.

Where the Constitution is silent, it's time to get creative. That sure would make us PURR.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Quelle Fete!

Montreal officially kicked off its 375th anniversary celebration yesterday with speeches, a parade and a special mass at Notre Dame Cathedral. Selfies with Justin helped make up for the fact that the stars of "Bon Cop Bad Cop 2" weren't there. We cats PURR.

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

The Cat Will Out


Well, it took nearly a year, but somebody has finally squealed on Kevin McCarthy.

June 15, 2016: In a private meeting with his fellow House Republicans, McCarthy says, "There's two people I think Putin pays: [Congressman Dana] Rohrabacher and Trump. Swear to God."

After which Paul Ryan quickly shushes him. "No leaks," Ryan scolds. "This is how we know we’re a real family here."

Reminder to Ryan: "Family" doesn't mean squat. Michael had Fredo killed, you know.

So now the cat's out of the bag, which makes us think that Trump's troubles have taken a sledgehammer to Republican solidarity on Capitol Hill. That amuses us to no end. But it's still disgusting that, one month after Ryan swore everyone to secrecy, these fine Republican patriots nominated somebody to be President who they thought was in Vladimir Putin's pocket.

Every GOP House member in a swing district needs to be asked about this. (And no, Darrell Issa, you can't give the reporter the finger and run away.) Heck, ask 'em all. We cats HISS.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Lest We Furr-get: Smoking Gun

"The way to handle this now is for us to have [CIA Deputy Chief Vernon] Walters call [Acting FBI Director] Pat Gray and just say, 'Stay the hell out of [Watergate]…this is ah, business here, we don’t want you to go any further on it.'"
—Richard Nixon to HR Haldeman, June 23, 1972

Answers Needed

By Zamboni

When will Hillary Clinton speak?

We cats are waiting. After all the hairball-inducing clips we've seen on TV of Donald Trump on the campaign trail, positively screaming about how Clinton should be thrown in jail for forwarding a bunch of low-level-classified emails to her own server, we think it's about damn time for her to let him have it. C'mon, Madam Secretary, throw a little red meat — well, okay, fresh tuna — our way!

Meanwhile, we need to ask a few other things.

A spokeswoman (read: lying blonde lackey) for Russia's foreign ministry says Trump leaking highly classified information is "fake news." Um, how can she be sure about that? Do the Russians know what information the US classifies and what it doesn't?

And who was the ally whose intelligence Trump betrayed? Looks like it was the one we suspected: Israel. Oh, to be a fly on Netanyahu's and the neocons' walls right now. And does this mean that Trump is no longer the evangelicals' "dream President"? They looooooooove Israel, don'tcha know. Will their zeal to make The Handmaid's Tale come true eclipse even their longing for the Rapture?

Finally, are there enough bushes in the Rose Garden to conceal the entire White House communications staff? We doubt it. We hear they're avoiding the press and are as miserable as they can be — and we're loving every minute of it. We cats PURR.

Monday, May 15, 2017

It Is Time For Him To Go

By Sniffles

We cats are well aware of the burgeoning get-rid-of-Trump groundswell on the Interwebs. But we realize that even millions of angry tweets are not the same as a Republican-controlled House of Representatives (which would have the responsibility for bringing articles of impeachment against him) or the equivalent of a Republican-controlled Senate (which would try and either convict or acquit him). So we've held our fire on the I-word.

Until now. Headline:

Trump revealed highly classified information to Russian foreign minister and ambassador

Can we just say it? If a victorious Hillary Clinton campaign was even mildly suspected of conspiring with a hostile foreign power, the Republicans would have impeached her by sundown.

If Hillary had fired an FBI director who was investigating her, the Republicans would have shipped her off on the next plane to Guantanamo.

If Hillary had revealed highly classified information to the Russians, the Republicans would have had her killed. Really!

Does the GOP care about national security? Do they love the country more than their political party? Do they have any morals at all? We are about to find out. We cats SNARL.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

GOP To Reagan: Drop Dead

By Baxter

Today's pathetic Republican Party swears that it worships Ronald Reagan — but in reality, the party has long since left Reagan behind, and Ronnie and Nancy are surely both spinning in their graves.

How do we know? Because Sean "In Completely Over His Head" Spicer had to hide in the White House bushes the other night, and only agreed to answer reporters' questions if they "turned the lights off." Resulting in the classic image, above.

If there's a better metaphor for this administration, we cats don't know it. But over and above even that, why haven't the Republicans followed the example of Ronnie when it comes to dealing with the press (and everybody else)?

We well remember how Reagan used to cup a hand over one ear and pretend that he hadn't heard Sam Donaldson when the ABC newsman fired questions at him in the Rose Garden. Why don't the Trumpsters take a page from Ronnie's sunny ways, rather than inviting speculation about quashed FBI investigations, RICO violations and more?

Well, one answer is that they're guilty as hell. The other answer is that their boss is dark, divisive and disturbed — as opposed to Reagan, who was merely dotty and cheerful. (Goodness, if only we Democrats had known how good we had it back then.)

But you know what? If there was one thing that Reagan was dark and focused about, it was the Soviet Union. ("Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!") This current GOP crowd? They love Russia. In fact, we think they have colluded with a hostile foreign power to subvert the autonomy of the United States.

Is there is a greater charge of treason than that? We think not. And so we — and Ronnie Reagan from the Great Beyond — HISS.

(IMAGE: Sean Spicer, hiding in the dark.)

Friday, May 12, 2017

Republican Face Palm

By Miss Kubelik

Now that we have proof that the President of the United States is insane, we cats just want to know: When in American history did the Commander in Chief have to cancel a visit to the FBI because he thought he'd be booed?

That's just one Rubicon we've crossed, folks, and we're only slightly over 100 days in.

Trump has been such a disaster that we're on sensory overload right now. But our overall reaction is this: If we were Republicans, we'd be furious — because while we're the first to concede that the office of the Presidency significantly constrains its occupants, at the same time, POTUSes can have tremendous power, bully-pulpit-wise. Trump has been handed this power, and thanks to his childish idiocy, he's throwing it all away.

So, goodbye, Republican agenda. That may drive them crazy, but it makes us cats PURR.

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Hey, What Happened To That "Win"?

By Zamboni

Before we cats dive into our opinion du jour, here's Paul Krugman's succinct take on Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell's support of the James Comey firing: "Just to be clear: Senior R in the Senate defending coverup of possible foreign subversion of US government."

Let that sink in: A possible foreign subversion of the United States government. Gosh, remember the days when the GOP said Democrats were the biggest threat to national security? Hey, Republicans, Max Cleland wants a do-over.

But we don't need to go back 15 years to have our little furry heads spinning. Let's just go back one week.

Last Thursday, Donald "Threat to the Rule of Law" Trump and thousands of wealthy, white Republican men were spiking the football in the Rose Garden — cheering that millions of Americans would be thrown off health coverage and would soon be dead, and gleefully plotting their next attacks on the tax code, Hillary Clinton, immigrants, Hillary Clinton, minority voters, public education, Hillary Clinton, reproductive health, the environment and Hillary Clinton.

Today, that same group of happy warriors is in full-blown Constitutional crisis mode, and talk of a 2018 wave election is exploding.

What a difference a week makes: This morning's chaos versus last week's premature Republican ejaculation. More proof that people who hate government don't know how to govern. If this keeps up, the GOP will be blown out next year worse than they were in 2006.

But in case the country can't make it until November 6, 2018, the obvious remedy is an independent counsel or commission, à la Iran-Contra or 9/11. A word of warning, though: It won't happen unless the American people demand it. Call, write, march! We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: We don't need to explain what this is. We do, though, want to point out what a heartless bastard, simpering idiot and unprincipled reprobate Paul Ryan is.)

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Mitch's Math Is DOA

By Sniffles

We cats are just as agog as everyone else about Donald Drumpf's suicidal firing of FBI Director James "Thanks, Comey" Comey — but today our minds are on healthcare.

That's because the amphibianesque Mitch McConnell got kinda testy yesterday when he was asked about the extreme maleness of his Senate "working group" that will pick apart the House's train wreck of a healthcare bill. Although five of the Senate's 21 female members are Republicans, McConnell had passed them over when it came to discussing things like, oh, covering pregnancy and maternity care. "The working group that counts is all 52 of us," he said, pissily.

Okay, so if Turtle Man is insisting that 52 matters, let's dive a little deeper into the numbers.

The five GOP Senators who have vaginas instead of penises comprise less than 10 percent of the Republican caucus. However:
  • Women comprise a vast majority of the nursing profession.
  • Women comprise a majority of the allied health professions, like physical therapy, occupational therapy, radiation technology, pharmacy, etc.
  • Women are not only a majority of the US population, they comprise a much greater proportion of the healthcare consumer population. (They have babies, you know.)
  • Women spend more on healthcare than men do.
Yet for all these majorities of interest, Mitch McConnell is declaring that women will have just a 10-percent voice at the table in deciding what healthcare in the United States will look like for the next several generations. Pitiful.

Why is no one calling him on that? We cats HISS.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Brush Up Your Shakespeare

Hamlet: Madam, how like you this play?
Gertrude: The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

Lest We Furr-get: Beans R Bad

By Baxter

The humans who live with us and do our bidding have shopped L.L. Bean in the past. A favorite winter coat, in fact, is a Bean. But ever since the company's founder's granddaughter Linda Bean gave a ton of money to Russian colluder Donald Trump, the vow was made: From now on in our household, Beans are toast.

In fact, GrabYourWallet has Bean on their no-no list, and we're all happy to oblige. There are other places our humans can shop for their casual clothes and outdoor gear.

Now it turns out that Bean's competitors in the Outdoor Industry Association are stepping up to the plate to tell the Trumpsters to go shove it on the environment. REI, Patagonia and The North Face have threatened lawsuits and such, to fight public-land grabs and to protest egregious actions like the EPA firing scientists and engaging polluters instead. They're not so dumb: A healthy environment is not only good for us and the planet, it's good for business.

Meanwhile, L.L. Bean, another member of the OIA, appears to be MIA. And we can't imagine that Linda Bean is thrilled with the OIA right now.

We think it's time for Bean to state whether it stands behind its industry association — or not. We cats HISS.

Monday, May 8, 2017

Song Sung Bleu, Blanc et Rouge

By Mademoiselle Kubelik

Sometimes it would be really good if news anchors would just, ahem, shut up.

We cats aren't huge fans of Vin Scully, but we remember very well how, after the Mets rose from the dead to win Game 6 in the 1986 World Series, he and his colleagues in the booth just STFU for — like, 10 minutes. After which Scully returned to the mic and said, "If a picture is worth a thousand words, you have just seen a million words."

Wish that MSNBC anchor Richard Lui had followed that advice yesterday and just let the pictures do the talking.

Emmanuel Macron did the French-Presidential-election equivalent of running the bases last night — talking a very long walk from wherever his SUV was parked at the Louvre to the microphone in front of the Pei pyramid. It was perfectly choreographed and brilliantly scored — not with "La Marseillaise" or something Frenchy, but with the unofficial anthem of the European Union, Beethoven's "Ode to Joy."

The Ninth Symphony being a favorite, our keen cat ears picked it up right away, and we longed to hear a few comments about it. How did it come to be the EU's theme song? Was playing it also a gesture of solidarity toward Angela Merkel, as Beethoven is obviously Germany's greatest composer? Or was it just really neat and spine-chilling?

It would have been great to hear a short conversation about all that, after which everybody could have just sat back in silence and soaked up the scene. But, no — we were denied both the chat and the chills. Despite the celestial music and the cheering crowd, Lui would not stop yapping about minutiae he'd already covered over and over for hours, utterly ruining the moment.

Dear Richard, we like you and your pals at MSNBC. But taisez-vous, eh? We cats HISS.

Sunday, May 7, 2017

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Comment Dit-On "Whew!" En Francais?

By Zamboni

Break out the Champagne: Not only did Emmanuel Macron defeat the ultra-right Nazi Marine Le Pen, he beat the litter-box leavings out of her, 65-35. We cats are thrilled. Here are a few of our thoughts.

Looks like Le Pen had the support of the strongmen oops, the leaders of two of the world's three biggest powers, and she still managed to get crushed. China must be congratulating itself for staying out of it.

And yes, we think it's neat that Macron is only 39, and his wife is 25 years older than he is. What will she and Melania talk about? Brigitte is a literature professor — your guess.

If France's rejection of Trumpism holds in next month's National Assembly elections — and if Germany's election this fall continues the anti-Trumpism tide — there's no doubt: Britain will be further isolated and left behind. (Add to that the fact that it's probably breaking apart. Charles will inherit a much smaller and sadder United Kingdom.)

We know which language Justin Trudeau will use when he calls Macron to congratulate him. We're not so sure about Trump, though, since what he usually speaks cannot reasonably be called English.

Screw you, Julian Assange.

Finally: You know, if Barack Obama were as mentally ill and as seriously personality-disordered as Donald Trump, he'd be beating his chest and claiming victory today, screaming, "I did it! I did it!" But then, he's not, is he? Oh, how we miss him. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Madeleine LeBeau as Yvonne in "Casablanca," shouting "Vive la France!" Amazingly, this wonderful actress died just last year. Too bad she couldn't have lived to see today.)

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Justin Socks It To Us

In case you missed it because you were busy being furious about healthcare, today is Star Wars Day. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau celebrated tastefully.

May the Fourth be with you — especially when the empire strikes back. We cats PURR.

It's Polite To Write Thank-You Notes

By Sniffles

Now that House Republicans have, by the barest of margins, passed Zombie Trumpcare — with no CBO report, no hearings, no final print-out of the bill — we cats say it's time to get out pen and paper and write those thank-yous.

We'll even help with what you can say. Here goes.

If you're one of 24 million Americans on an Obamacare medical plan: "Thanks for taking away my affordable insurance."

If you have a pre-existing condition: "Thanks for making it impossible for me, with my [FILL IN THE BLANK: diabetes/congenital heart disease/breast cancer/asthma], to ever get coverage."

If you're an illness away from financial ruin: "Thanks for guaranteeing that having a medical catastrophe in a non-Medicaid expansion state means that I'll go bankrupt."

If you're a Trump voter in a state like South Dakota: "Thanks for making sure that my small rural hospital closes its doors."

For the rest of us: "Thanks for handing the House of Representatives to the Democrats in 2018!"

We cats PURR.

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Tidbits And Cat Treats: "Thanks, Comey" Edition

By Baxter

We cats have had another one of "those" days. While we're enthused at the mounting GOP retirements from the House (and the neat-o Democratic candidates who are stepping up across the country), everywhere else we see discouraging headlines. Here are a few.

James Comey says he's "mildly" nauseated at the thought that he may have swung the 2016 election to Trump. Why only mildly? We cats are violently ill about Trump every single day.

There are so many reasons for our multiple hairballs that we've lost count. But here's one: We are really, really sick of Ivanka. Come on, media: Enough already with the fantasy that she has any kind of intellect and/or moderating influence at all.

Meanwhile, we're trying to figure out who at Bethune-Cookman University was stupid enough to invite Betsy DeVos to speak at their graduation.

Finally, we hear that Canada is recalling a ton of Bombay Sapphire gin because it contains twice the alcohol it's supposed to. Hey, friends, can you ship us a few bottles first? We cats need it. And we HISS.

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

John 11:35

By Miss Kubelik

As an op-ed in The New York Times reminds us today, the Republican Party is dominated by people who believe that Christianity is the way to go: "64 percent of Republicans, compared with 32 percent of Democrats, saw a culture grounded in Christian religious beliefs as extremely or very important," it reports.

So, yeah — Republicans are Jesus freaks. Why, then, do they hate their fellow human beings so much?

That's the only conclusion we cats can come to after some leading lights in the GOP keep making callous remarks about being on the hook for other people's health insurance.

The soon-to-fail-again Republican healthcare plan, opined idiot Congressman Mo Brooks from Alabama, will "free healthy people from having to pay the cost of the sick" and let insurers "[reduce] the cost to those people who lead good lives."

Tweeted deadbeat dad and former GOP representative Joe Walsh about Jimmy Kimmel's moving appeal for the preservation of Obamacare, "Sorry, Jimmy Kimmel: Your sad story [NOTE: It wasn't sad] doesn't obligate me or anyone else to pay for somebody else's healthcare."

Wow. Just wow. These Republican morons don't understand the concept of health insurance at all, do they? This has become clear ever since the hapless Congressional majority has attempted to slay the Affordable Care Act, but we cats understand that it's been a thing in alt-right circles for some time. Why, they wonder, should we even bother trying to promote healthy communities? As usual, they see no benefit to anything that doesn't automatically put money in their own pockets.

Whereas (sigh, here we go again), under the Affordable Care Act (or, we might add, universal healthcare), if more people get coverage and, subsequently, get healthier, healthcare costs for all of us can go down — and more providers serving (predominantly Republican, mind you) rural areas can maybe stay in business.

Now that we've explained the bare-bones basics of healthcare coverage, can we go back to that Jesus thing? Why do these so-called Republican Christians despise and resent their neighbors so? And what does Jesus himself think about it? We cats have a theory, and we HISS.

Monday, May 1, 2017

A Monumental Coincidence? Guess Again.

By Zamboni

We cats would like to salute New Orleans for its plans to remove a number of Confederate monuments commemorating Jefferson Davis, P.G.T. Beauregard, Robert E. Lee and the battle of Liberty Place. Clearly the city has recognized that the South's cause represented no kind of liberty if you were African. (And yes, it's been 150-plus years, but better late than never.)

The removal effort actually began in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, when the Bush Administration, in the words of Kanye West, definitively proved that it didn't care about black people. It gained new urgency after a white supremacist jackass killed nine innocent African-Americans at a church in Charleston, South Carolina, in 2015. Still, you'll find lamebrains and losers (a.k.a. "Sons of Confederate Veterans") holding vigil by these statues of oppression.

We cats are struck, therefore, by the timing of Donald Drumpf's latest inane comments about Andrew Jackson and the Civil War.

They seemed to come completely out of left field — but we're thinking not. Drumpf's continued affection for the proudly slaveholding and Indian-massacring Jackson struck us immediately as an important nod and wink to his racist, idiotic base — a base that still feels aggrieved, even though their side is in control of virtually all parts of the US government. "They're taking down our statues!"

We rarely understand how Drumpf's mind works, but when it comes to him and that evil alt-right crowd of his in the White House, we're sure of one thing: Nothing happens by chance. We cats HISS.