Monday, June 30, 2014

Hobby Lobby Will Leave GOP Sobby

By Baxter

Know what we cats think about today's big Supreme Court decision? We are so glad that the Republicans are going to have to talk about birth control in 2014 and 2016.

Take it from us: The GOP powers that be, not to mention their Congressional candidates across the country, did not want to have to answer any questions about reproductive rights, and why we have to keep fighting the same old battles for women's healthcare over and over and over. But then again, Antonin Scalia and Samuel Alito don't have to worry about getting re-elected, do they?

So, have at it, everybody! Let's have our Democratic candidate in Virginia's 10th Congressional district challenge Republican Barbara Comstock to weigh in on the Hobby Lobby nightmare. Let's see how adroitly the anti-choice hog-castrator in Iowa handles angry questions from female voters in Des Moines, Davenport and Cedar Rapids. And please, somebody ask Susana Martinez of New Mexico how she feels about old guys on the Supreme Court telling women their contraception is unworthy of coverage.

And how wonderful it will be in 2016, when we nominate you-know-who — who may have just solidified a win of 400+ electoral votes over whatever moron the Republicans manage to nominate after a huge, delicious, party-destroying fight.

Finally, here's this: Any employer worth its salt will continue to offer comprehensive health insurance coverage. Not just because companies surely know that a majority of Americans think Hobby Lobby should go jump in the lake — but because in a competitive world, they want to attract and retain the best workers.

Sorry, GOP, but people want their birth control. And try as you might, you can't turn back the clock. We cats PURR.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

"Mississippi Mad" Keeps On Rollin'

By Sniffles

We cats are loving this big GOP fight down in Mississippi. We don't know whether teabag sore loser Chris McDaniel is going to get any traction on his challenges to the Republican Senate primary there, but, as Democrats, we of course wish him well.

Let us just state from the outset that if McDaniel and the teabags really and truly find voting irregularities, they should press their complaints. But let it also be on the record that any voter fraud committed in Mississippi would be Republican voter fraud.

Meanwhile, we note that the young Cillizza lad over at The Washington Post has predicted doom for any McDaniel challenges. Without taking sides in an internecine GOP war, we cats would just like to observe that the young Cillizza lad, seeking to inherit the Dan-Balz-State-The-Obvious-Mantel at the Post, would print anything the Barbour family would tell him to. Just sayin'.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Hogan, GOP Don't Know "Zaching," Get Zapped

By Zamboni

So the first move by the GOP nominee for Governor of Maryland is to screw up an Internet meme and accuse Democratic nominee Anthony Brown of being weird.

The Hogan campaign included this photo of Brown and his running mate, Ken Ulman, as evidence of Brown's "incompetence" — when actually, it was Brown and Ulman showing support for a University of Maryland cancer patient named Zach Lederer.

Confronted with this information, the Hogan spokesperson sputtered that they had had "absolutely no idea" that Brown and Ulman had been Interwebbing in support of a celebrated, and now deceased, Marylander.

Which means we cats just want to know: Why use the photo if you had "absolutely no idea"? Republicans are idiots.

And you know what else? It just lends more credence to the fact that the GOP is, digitally, a generation behind us Democrats.

With their admitted ignorance of what's going on in cyberspace, the Hogan campaign is just the latest example of the failure of Rancid Pieface's Republican "autopsy." They vowed to catch up to Democrats online — and they are so not there. We cats PURR.

(UPDATE: After swearing they never would, the Hogan campaign has deleted the Zaching photo from the ad. You're off to a great start, guys. Keep it up!)

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Mississippi Fallout Continues; Meanwhile, Son Of Ron (Not Reagan) Fails English 101

By Miss Kubelik

Our right-wing friends at Free Republic are fit to be tied that Ted Cruz refuses to evince umbrage at Thad Cochran's win in Mississippi yesterday. "Why didn’t Cruz just shut up until the possible legal challenge is filed?" they sputtered.

Sadly for them, Rand Paul jumped aboard the same train, saying, "I'm for more people voting, not less people voting."

We cats are constantly amazed that members of the anti-immigration-reform party, hating people who speak other languages as they do, cannot properly use English themselves.

If we ruled the world (and we have no idea why we don't), no one could get to be President without knowing the difference between "less" and "fewer." Don the dunce cap, Rand! We cats HISS.

Tidbits and Cat Treats: Mississippi Mad Edition

By Baxter

Wow, are those teabaggers steamed. You may already know that Thad Cochran managed to eke out a win over Chris "Mamacita" McDaniel in yesterday's Mississippi Republican Senate primary. That alone would be enough to set off the right-right wing — but the fact that Cochran apparently won by appealing to African-Americans for votes has the "bags" shaking with fury.

We cats, on the other hand, are considerably calmer, not to mention amused. Here are a few things about the Cochran-McDaniel race that have intrigued us:

Sean Hannity asked the Famous Quitter from Alaska last night if, in the wake of her candidate's razor-thin defeat, she would leave the GOP and start a third party. Palin was noncommittal, but ooooohhh! We cats love this. Please, please, please, Famous Quitter, kiss the Republican Party goodbye and take the Freepers with you.

The only reason we have Palin in our lives at all, of course, is because John McCain thought she was qualified to be a 71-year-old cancer survivor's heartbeat away from the Presidency. Since then, we've always noticed how silent Palin and McCain are about one another. Will McCain be asked about her third-party response to Hannity last night? Goodness knows the media scamper to him to comment on everything else.

Senate Conservatives Fund pooh-bah Ken "I'm a Fetus-Loving Loser" Cuccinelli hung up on POLITICO when asked about a legal challenge. Ahhh, Cootch — classy to the end.

Speaking of which, in true Cootchy fashion, McDaniel refuses to concede. Terry McAuliffe would probably advise Cochran not to sit by the phone, waiting for a gracious call.

Finally, it appears that the media haven't learned anything from this GOP kerfuffle. So far, all the coverage we've read has predicted a Cochran waltz to victory this fall. We cats are surely Democrats — we admit that; but we don't think anybody should rush to count Travis Childers out. From the anger we're seeing, the teabaggers will either stay home, start a third party or leave the Senate race blank. Which would make us PURR.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Bookends of Bad Behavior

By Sniffles

Is it a coincidence that on the same day that the top aide to Republican Congressman Steve Stivers resigns because a porn-star former girlfriend uploaded a picture of his privates to the Congressman's Twitter account, the Library of Congress announces that it's releasing letters concerning an extramarital affair of Republican President Warren G. Harding?

That's a long question, but the issue of Republican "family values" — 100 years apart — struck us cats. So we decided to mull it over while we wait for election results from Mississippi.

As always, we only care about politicians' personal lives if they blatantly contradict the public policies they espouse. So if they're gay, they'd better not be against marriage equality; if they're tight-assed prudes, they shouldn't be having wild affairs; and if they're anti-choice, they oughtn't be driving their mistresses to clinics for abortions.

And 100 years from now, will these offending Stivers tweets surface at the Library of Congress for future generations to laugh at? We cats love symmetry in all its forms. And the fact that President Harding was also from Ohio makes it even more delicious.

Since the Stivers-aide dude is single, and we're not aware that his now-former boss is a fervent member of the anti-pornography movement, we're inclined to give this silly behavior a pass. But it still makes all Republicans look like a bunch of hypocrites. Which makes us PURR.

(IMAGE: Warren G. Harding says, "Now, son, don't you go making the same mistakes I did" — whoops, too late!)

Monday, June 23, 2014

GOP To Black America: We Hate You And Don't Want You To Vote... Except When We Want You To Vote For Us

By Zamboni

Here's some irony for you: Not only is Mississippi Republican Senator Thad Cochran openly courting African-American votes to fend off Chris McDaniel in tomorrow's GOP Senate primary — but the main group that is bankrolling the "poll-watching" effort against any possible members of Blacks For Cochran is headed by Ken "On Second Thought, Let's Just Save White Fetuses" Cuccinelli.

The Cootch! He has a life apres-McAuliffe!

Actually, we cats knew that. But we find it grimly amusing to see Cootchy's name associated with this latest voting Republican outrage in Mississippi. Why any person of color would step inside a voting booth, in any state in the country, and pull a lever or punch a card or swipe a screen for a Republican candidate is absolutely, totally beyond us.

And we're not only wondering if Cootchy would have bothered to represent Virginians of all complexions had he won our gubernatorial race last year. It's also kind of outrageous that the first election in Mississippi that counts since Governor Phil Bryant — a Cochran supporter, by the way — signed one of the worst pieces of anti-voting legislation possible is one in which Republicans are depending on a Hail Mary pass with blacks to pull out an unlikely win.

Attention, Democratic voters down in Mississippi: Don't bother with this Cochran fellow. Of course, we know that the 80,000-plus most likely Democratic voters in the Magnolia State can't vote tomorrow anyway, because they've already voted in the Democratic primary. But just in case, here's a handy reminder: Thad Cochran is no one's friend. For example, he doesn't want you to get healthcare. We cats HISS.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Cat Fight! Dick Cheney vs. Rand Paul

By Miss Kubelik

Wow! We cats spend one little day on the road, not paying attention to the news, and what do we see when we finally reach our destination? A big scuffle between the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived (If Indeed He Were A Person) and the Son of Ron (Not Reagan).

Son of Ron actually had the gall to suggest that the mess in Iraq today is the result of the Worst Persons' manufactured war in 2003. "We have created a vacuum," he said. Yep, when you invade a country on false pretenses and topple its government and then gut its military, you end up with a real dirty litter box on your hands.

The Worst Person's lame response? "If we spend our time debating what happened 11 or 12 years ago, we're going to miss the threat that is growing," blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

But we're not surprised. The Worst Persons certainly stifled debate back in 2003. Why shouldn't they want to stifle debate now? We cats HISS.

Friday, June 20, 2014

Lest We Furr-get: 50 Years Ago Now

By Baxter

These young men gave their lives 50 summers ago so that all Americans, in every state, could register and vote. How many of us today are willing to make a similar sacrifice?

And how ironic is it that the current Republican Senator from Mississippi, fighting for his political life, is asking African-Americans to vote for him? We cats HISS.

Mr. Incredible McAuliffe

By Sniffles

Wow! Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe just said "up yours" to the Republicans in Richmond. He line-item-vetoed a lot of bad stuff in the state budget and pledged to expand Medicaid to 400,000 deserving Virginians. Neat!

If the GOP was thinking Terry would be a pushover, they were sorely mistaken. As for us cats, we love it when Democrats destroy the girly-man stereotype. (We're thinking that Eric Cantor fits that image better than most these days, anyway.)

This is why we elected you, Terry. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Danny Kneip)

Presbyterians Pooh-Pooh The "March For Marriage"

By Zamboni

We cats are always interested in the confluence of events — both intended and un-. So we found yesterday's gay-rights news to be particularly amusing.

Why? Oh, just because the homophobic right wing staged its "March for Marriage" in Washington, DC — and on the very same day, the Presbyterian Church (USA) voted in favor of marriage equality. Purr-fect!

"The church affirmed all its faithful members today. This vote is an answer to many prayers for the church to recognize love between committed same-sex couples," said Alex McNeill, executive director at More Light Presbyterians.

Meanwhile, here's what they were saying on the National Mall: “Government does not give us our rights,” but God does.

Ya know what, guys? When it comes to legal marriage, government does indeed give you your freaking rights. And the states, one by one, are deciding that no matter whom you love, you can marry. Deal with it.

Meanwhile, Canada is quickly coming up on the 10th anniversary of its nationwide granting of marriage equality. We look forward to the day when we can mark a similar anniversary for the United States. In anticipation of same, we cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Yesterday's "March for Marriage." Wow! Looks like it was packed. Not.)

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Note To The Washington Post: It's Time To Step Up

By Miss Kubelik

The Seattle Times has decided to no longer use the pejorative name of the Washington, DC football team in its sports coverage.

Why is this important? The Evergreen State is awfully far away from the District of Columbia. But, goodness, here's a thought: The new owner of The Washington Post is the CEO of a little company based in Seattle. We can feel the ripples spreading in the pond right now.

We cats would advise inside-the-Beltway journalists to pay attention. Dan Snyder's team's name is not aligned with the arc of history, which bends toward you-know-what. As the newspaper of Katharine Graham, Ben Bradlee, Watergate, the Pentagon Papers — and now, Jeff Bezos — the Post would do well to get in front of this one.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Tidbits and Cat Treats: Republicans Are Nuts Edition

By Baxter

Tomorrow's going to be a busy day in the world of politics, but we have to tell you, today was no slouch. Here are some thoughts we coolly entertained while Washington steamed in 90-degree heat.

Ugh, it seemed like every time we turned around we were seeing the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived (If Indeed He Were A Person) and his despicable daughter. The only thing more revolting today was the fact that the Worst Person's fellow war criminal was unveiling her official portrait at the State Department. (We're not yet sure if Condi's picture took 40 pounds off her the way Maureen McDonnell's did.)

Jonathan Capehart has just discovered something we've known for ages: If the Republicans take the Senate, they'll try to impeach President Obama. (Never mind for what.) Goodness gracious, Jonathan dear, where have you been? But since the I-word has already been raised by current GOP office holders, we think that Republican allies like Tom Donahue at the US Chamber of Commerce should be asked about this, every single day, from now to November. Somehow we don't picture big business and Wall Street making a lot of money if the GOP tears the country apart.

Terry Bradshaw is an idiot, but he's absolutely right about what Dan Snyder is going to have to eat.

And if those rednecks down in Mississippi hate government so much, let's take all their federal money back.

Finally, it's only Wednesday, but we have a favorite quote of the week: "Hello, Mr. Squirrel, how are you?" (Hillary Clinton talking to a GOP flunky in a animal costume.) This is something you could say to a lot of Republicans, every day. We cats PURR.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Thom Tillis Says We're "Traditional"!

But what does he mean, our population isn't "growing"? Hey, there's hardly any room in this basket!

P.S. We cats wonder how African-American voters feel about the Tillis campaign's lame claim that when their candidate talked about the "traditional" population of the Tarheel State, he meant "long time" residents. So — being brought over in a slave ship 400 years ago doesn't qualify you as a "long time" North Carolinian? That makes us HISS.

Monday, June 16, 2014

Cat Fight! John Goodman vs. The National Center For Policy Analysis

By Sniffles

Once upon a time there was a right-wing nutjob who headed up the Dallas-based National Center for Policy Analysis and who hated, hated, hated the Affordable Care Act.

We cats say there "was" such a guy, because now John Goodman has been fired by his board for "sexual misconduct and breach of fiduciary duty." Which you and we and the rest of the world really weren't meant to know, except that Goodman refused to go quietly and started bleating about a "coup." He's even threatening to sue the very organization he founded.

Not taking Goodman's accusation lying down, the NCPA shot back with its partial explanation of the dismissal. But, ooooh! No juicy details. We cats are really mad about that.

You know, this is all silliness, except for the fact that another conservative lamebrain who's relentlessly attacked Obamacare for four years now has been deservedly unmasked as a rogue.

We cats are tempted to PURR about that (in fact, we always PURR when Republicans fight with each other). But in light of today's brutal assessment of the US's pre-ACA healthcare system, we find the other side's foolish behavior and overall lack of credibility more depressing than anything. So we HISS.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Cat Fight! Laura Ingraham vs. Eric Cantor

By Zamboni

Far be it for us cats to interfere when Republicans are fighting with one another. But Laura Ingraham's "joke" about trading Eric Cantor to the Taliban — which she and the soon-to-be-former Majority Leader had a dust-up about today — is just, well, ugh.

Our first reaction: To joke about trading a Jewish person to the Taliban is not funny.

Actually, the "joke" is not funny anyway. But in this case, really not funny.

But how surprising is that, coming from a Republican? The Grand Old Party hasn't had a stellar record when it comes to the Chosen People. Back during the Nixon days, there was Freddy "The Jew Counter" Malek, not to mention those delicious comments by Billy "Jews Control The Media" Graham. And the teabaggers' suspicion of Wall Street and the elites has a definite anti-Semitic tinge. The only reason they support Israel is because they want the Rapture to come.

We cats have no idea why a member of any minority would belong to the Republican Party. Buried in the Eric Cantor brouhaha this week is another reminder why. Which makes us cats HISS.

Friday, June 13, 2014

More Putrid Polling

By Miss Kubelik

What were we just saying? To counter a media poll that has Senator Jeff Merkley (D-OR) smooshing his Republican opponent, "Monica Wehby," by 18 points, the Wehby campaign released an internal poll by The Tarrance Group that shows her within striking distance.

The Tarrance Group???!? Hilarious. Tarrance is a Republican pollster. They belong to — you know — the party that doesn't believe in science, math or logic. Why should we trust any poll by them?

One of Tarrance's taglines is (see above) "Know Your World." Ironically, Republican pollsters' problem is that they don't know their world at all. If you don't understand — or reject — the universe of voters, you can't poll. But that's peculiar to the GOP, isn't it? So we cats PURR.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Putrid Polling

By Baxter

We cats continue to be amused that the American political party that rejects science, logic and math — surprise! — can't poll. The 2012 Romneybots used to wear that crown, but this week the it's been snatched away by the humiliated Eric Cantor and his polling partner in crime, the hapless John McLaughlin.

Turns out that McLaughlin has tried to push back. He's responded to critics this way:

"Polls don't predict turnout," he told The Washington Post. "You're trying to make assumptions of who usually votes. Here Eric got hit from the left and the right, and it created a large turnout."

Listen up, GOP: This guy's an idiot. By his reasoning, you'd end up never polling anyone, since all your previous voters will eventually die off.

McLaughlin's "argument" also says that a pollster shouldn't allow for party switching — the kind that, ironically, his own Saint Ronnie wielded successfully in Virginia and in so many other states. (Remember "Reagan Democrats"?) He's not admitting the fact that young people come of age and vote. He's not allowing for people who have relocated, either for retirement or for work. Et cetera.

We'd advise Republicans who have hired McLaughlin to drop him, fast. But then their polls might stop being 40 points off. So, never mind! We cats PURR.

(UPDATE, June 14: McLaughlin has tried to further defend himself with a wild tale of 15,000 "Cooter"-and-Gutierrez-obeying Democrats crossing over to vote for Brat. We cats would be thrilled if this were the case, because it would mean that Brat could have a real problem against Jack Trammell come November. But sadly, and especially since it's coming from McLaughlin, it can't possibly be true.)

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Tidbits and Cat Treats: Post-Cantor-Crash Edition

By Sniffles

Wow! Could Eric Cantor be any more humiliated? We cats are not sure, but mind you, we're not feeling the least bit sorry for him. This is another case of how great it is when people who deserve to lose, lose.

But the question remains: How is it possible that one of the brightest lights in the Republican establishment doesn't know how to run a simple Congressional campaign? The answer always was and continues to be: Just because they have more money than everybody else, doesn't mean they're smarter.

Anyway, here are the thoughts that are bouncing around in our furry little heads today (between naps):

Remember how pissy Eric was toward the President in those debt ceiling meetings three years ago? We wonder if he's feeling quite so arrogant today. But then, you know that old saying about what's gone around coming back around.

There's a ton of chatter about how totally bad Cantor's pollster was. McLaughlin & Associates had Eric holding a 34-point lead just a few weeks ago. Laughable! How do Republicans who have McLaughlin polling for them feel today? But we cats weren't surprised. When you don't believe in science and math, and selectively choose which facts are facts and which facts are inconvenient, it's really hard to run accurate polls.

But don't just look at the pollster. Look at the client. Since Eric Cantor is a whiny, self-righteous, lecturing momma's boy who is always convinced of the rightness of his positions, he knew he was going to win (and that's why he spent yesterday morning at a Starbucks with a gaggle of lobbyists). So, who among his wildly highly paid consultants was going to tell him he was wrong? We cats PURR.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Whacko GOP Base Hates Government, So Eric Cantor Has To Die

By Zamboni

Okay, not literally, but figuratively. One of the Republican "Young Guns" has been, um, politically gunned down.

Will Boehner retire now like he was planning to, we wonder? (Oh, come on. You know that he was. After he was re-elected in 2014, John was going to abandon the people of Cincinnati and slip away to his cigarettes and Merlot.)

We cats were feeling kind of bummed these last few days about everything that's been happening in Virginia — but now, with the GOP in dire turmoil, we're putting on a happy face. Grey skies are gonna clear up! We cats PURR.

(UPDATE: We cats are also wondering if this stunning development will further embolden the teabags in this month's Mississippi Senate runoff. Certainly it's given the establishment a fresh case of the willies. There is nothing bad about this.)

Monday, June 9, 2014

Whacko GOP Base Hates Government, So Cops Have To Die

By Miss Kubelik

We cats used to think we'd have to move to Canada to get medical coverage. Now that we have Obamacare, though, we're thinking that we're going to have to move to Canada to get away from the guns.

In short, we're sad to report that another pair of nutjobs slaughtered two policemen at a pizza joint in Las Vegas and then crossed the street to a Walmart to kill somebody else. Who did they get? Wayne LaPierre's famous "good guy with a gun." So much for those "Guns Save Lives" bumper stickers we see on teabagger cars in Virginia.

What an amazing, topsy-turvy world we live in. Republicans, who used to love all of our men and women in the military, now hate soldiers if they're gay and especially hate POWs if Barack Obama brings them home. And by kissing the NRA's ass to the extent they have, they have helped foment cop killing. They used to love cops! What has happened to our dear old GOP?

We'll tell you what. They are enabling and inspiring these right-wing loony-toon murderers. So since there doesn't appear to be hope of enacting new gun laws any time soon, the Republican Party and Wayne LaPierre should just shut up — right now. We cats HISS.

(IMAGE: A post from the cop-killing teabagger on the Face Thing. But, wait — who is Corey Miller? If he's related, we cats hope he's been hauled into the hoosegow for questioning.)

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Chin Up, California Chrome: Jeb! Stinks Up The Joint In Texas

By Baxter

News flash from the Clown Car Racecourse: Ted Cruz has won the Republican convention straw poll in Texas.

We cats should modify that to say: Ted Cruz demolished the competition in today's Texas poll of 5,266 rabid Republican goofballs. A whackjob neuro doc who wasn't even there came in a waybackbackback second — and then Rand "I Want To Trade Hillary To The Taliban" Paul — and then Rick Perry.

Gosh. Rick Perry isn't screwy enough for these people. He comes in fourth.

But the big headline of the night is this: Jeb! Bush — he of the Lone Star State Bushes, he whose son is on the Texas ballot come November, he who is supposed to be the GOP establishment's savior in 2016 — came in fifth, like California Chrome, with 3.3 percent.

Embarrassing. And a hell of an early-birthday present for Momma "Rhymes With Rich" Barbara. We cats PURR.

Friday, June 6, 2014

And We Guess That John Boehner Will Have To Stop Asking, "Where Are the Jobs?"

By Sniffles

The May jobs report came out today, and the news was good.

The economy has recouped all the Great Recession losses, and it's the fourth month in a row that 200,000+ jobs were added. But we cats were struck by one other fact a few paragraphs down:

"The year isn't quite half over, but 2014 is currently on track to be the best year for US job creation since 1999."

Hmmmm. From 1999 to 2008 — when the economy cratered — who was in the White House for most of those years?

Gosh! Could it possibly be that all the Cheney-Bush trickle-down-economics crapola just doesn't freaking work? Our phones are open! In the meantime, we cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Steve Benen, MaddowBlog)

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Good Swaps, Bad Swaps

Right smack in the middle of the right wing shooting itself in the foot over a prisoner exchange, an interesting 10th anniversary rolls around. Yes, folks, it was a mere decade ago today that we all had to wallow in grief for this cardboard cutout of a President. But at least it's an opportunity to remind everyone, mid-Bergdahl, that Ronald Reagan traded arms to Iran for hostages.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

We Recommend The Exercise Equipment Department

By Zamboni

We cats haven't shopped at a Target store since the company's late, unlamented former CEO gave $150,000 to a Republican gay hater running for Governor of Minnesota.

So we really don't feel bad for Tar-jay now that they've been invaded by a loony organization called "Open Carry Texas." These lovely gents, for example, are proudly strutting around what looks like the party-supply aisle with their assault rifles. Betcha they feel like men!

It's amusing that the NRA, which originally called OCT "not neighborly," has had to bow and scrape and backtrack like crazy. But whatever else may be swirling around in the political maelstrom known as Gun Lovers' World, you still won't find us cats inside a Target store any time soon.

We weren't tempted when Gregg Steinhafel resigned last month — so we sure aren't changing our minds now that we could round a corner and run into a loser with an AK-47.

Sorry, Target! Your stupid homophobic former CEO, your irresponsible data breach, and your duplicity about being a socially responsible corporation drove us away first. Now, these Second Amendment nutcases have sealed the deal. We cats PURR.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Casualties of War

By Miss Kubelik

One hundred and fifty years ago today, a significant battle at Cold Harbor, Virginia, began. In what turned out to be Ulysses S. Grant's worst miscalculation of the Civil War, 7,000 Union soldiers died in the first hour of fighting outside of Richmond — against a newly refortified Southern army commanded by General Robert E. Lee.

Days after the battle, Grant sent a message to Lee asking for a truce, to enable both armies to collect their wounded and dead. Lee answered saying that he had no one to retrieve — forcing Grant to amend his message, with the request to pick up the wounded alone. Lee agreed, but by the time that Union forces reached many of them, they had died from exposure and neglect.

The slaughter of the Civil War is incomprehensible today. It makes you wonder how the United States of 1864 would have borne the casualties of conflicts like Cold Harbor if there had been reporters beaming in on social media from the battlefield.

We were thinking about the Cold Harbor anniversary today, while we were digesting the right wing's continued brouhaha over the rescue of Bowe Bergdahl. Sgt. Bergdahl was the last American prisoner held in Afghanistan, and the US government has been working to free him — and briefing Congress about it — for the last three years. Whatever the circumstances of Bergdahl's original capture, the moral of the story is that American forces never want to leave a man behind. Like General Grant at Cold Harbor, asking General Lee for that truce.

A century and a half later, President Obama has retrieved our wounded. Does it really matter to Republicans that instead of a scruffy, white, whisky-loving general from Galena, Illinois, it's a black President doing it this time? Apparently it does. We cats HISS.

Monday, June 2, 2014

POW Coming Home, Armageddon Ensues

By Baxter

Remember the Republican debate where the audience booed a serving soldier — just because he was gay?

We cats were reminded of that today when we saw the Republican fuss over Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl getting nuttier and nuttier. We can only conclude one thing: Just as a soldier is worthless to the right wing if he's a homosexual, so too is an American POW worthless if he's brought home by Barack Obama. The GOP no longer Supports Our Troops.

Amazing! What a change a mere decade makes. We cats remember very well how businesses foisted yellow ribbons on employees in hearty endorsement of the Iraq invasion. But of course that invasion was ordered by a Republican.

Goodness gracious. President Obama could save the earth from a killer asteroid, and the GOP would still whine about it. We cats HISS.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

"Just Because We Have The Best Hammer Does Not Mean That Every Problem Is A Nail"

By Sniffles

What a war-themed week we've just passed.

President Obama spoke at West Point and, with his usual dispassionate politeness, denounced The Worst Person Who's Ever Lived and his cohorts for killing 4,486 American soldiers and uncounted civilians in Iraq. The head of the VA, who opposed that war at its start, handed in his resignation after a clinic in John McCain's state was exposed as falsifying treatment records. And yesterday, the President announced the release of the last American POW in Afghanistan after five years in captivity — about the same amount of time that McCain spent in the Hanoi Hilton.

We cats have a definite feeling that we're wrapping something up here. When the Commander-in-Chief says that "some of our most costly mistakes came not from our restraint but from our willingness to rush into military adventures without thinking through the consequences," that sound you hear is a page turning.

Not that General Shinseki's resignation will solve all the VA's problems — which, as we recall, date well back into the Worst Person's regime. Work remains. But let's never let the neocons send young Americans into battle so lightly.

All of which means: Cue the other side, and they have not disappointed. True to form, they're raining all over the Bowe Bergdahl parade — a prisoner release they'd be shouting with glee from house tops if it were a Republican President announcing it in the Rose Garden instead of Barack Obama. (We cats fail to see why negotiating with the Taliban is a problem. They're not any more radical than today's GOP.)

You know what, Republicans? Americans don't care. All they know is that a soldier is coming home. And we think your bleating shows that you know that. We cats PURR.