Losing The "Man's Best Friend" Vote

 

There used to be a time when politicians loved their dogs. Just sayin'.

Postively Hitlerian

By Sniffles

Our feed on Twitter has been consumed with dog content, we're sorry to report. Not because we hate dogs (although we cats are vastly superior to them), but because any story about an animal mistreated or murdered chills us to our feline bones.

Enter this very strange story about South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem bragging about killing one of her dogs, execution style, because it was "untrainable." After the dirty deed, Noem's daughter asked, "Mom, where's Cricket?" "Cricket is dead," Noem allegedly replied. And the interwebs went wild.

It got to the point where we were desperately searching for Trump trial news, but couldn't find anything amid the anti-Noem outrage by dog lovers like ex-Republicans George Conway and Rick Wilson. (Even Trumpsters like Laura Loomer took offense.) People were posting photos of their beloved canines to drive home the point that Noem is a soulless monster. But that's okay. Because she is.

Also, if you're looking for more Nazi parallels for today's Republican Party, Noem just provided one. In 1945, Adolf Hitler killed his German shepherd Blondi, to test the cyanide he had in case the Red Army closed in on him. It worked. Happily, though, Hitler shot himself in the mouth the next day. We cats PURR.

Good Move

 

By Hubie and Bertie

It may be Moose & Squirrel's 54th birthday, but we Democrats are the ones who got the best present. One day after a POLITICO story broke about the pooh-bahs at The New York Times printing anti-Biden stories out of spite, the President gave an hourlong interview to radio host and erstwhile shock jock Howard Stern on Sirius XM.

This is Dark Brandon at his finest.

Not only did Biden chat up Howard about a range of topics — his life in politics, his family, SCOTUS, the Violence Against Women Act, and more — he ended up making news by saying he'd be willing to debate Benedict Donald in the general election. This is hilarious, because of course Trump has avoided all Republican debates this season, and most likely will be incapacitated enough mentally and cognitively that he'll have to duck any head-to-heads this fall. But Stern getting the scoop still has to rankle at the Times.

It could not happen to a nicer newspaper. We cats have been torn about keeping our (very expensive) print and digital subscription to the Grey Lady, but have dithered on it because so much of their reporting — arts, books, science, New York-y stuff — is enriching and valuable. But their political coverage is frankly terrible. In the old-media days, they just had to one-up The Washington Post, but now they're up against a proliferation of journalists at online vehicles like The Daily Beast who often put them to shame. Or who at least act more honorably and less thin-skinned than the sniffy people at 620 Eighth Avenue.

Side note: President Biden was in New York because he attended a fundraiser headlined by the actor Michael Douglas last night. Meanwhile, Trump was in criminal court, whining that he couldn't be with his cheated-on wife for her birthday (who could have easily joined him in Manhattan for his court appearance and natal-day celebration), unable to campaign, dial for dollars, or do anything else to promote his alleged candidacy. A really good day for Biden-Harris, we'd say. We cats PURR.

It's Take Your Child To Work Day

One thing people don't talk about enough is that Donald Trump has no sense of humor. Dark Brandon, on the other hand... We cats PURR.

Unlike Donald, Numbers Don't Lie

By Miss Kubelik

Another week, another Presidential primary. Yesterday, it was in Pennsylvania, and Benedict Donald continued to underperform. At this point, though, perhaps you'd just want to say the Republican results showed the latest example of a full-blown anti-Trump protest vote.

Yes, Trump won the primary and all of the commonwealth's 16 delegates to the convention. But Nikki Haley, who dropped out of the race more than a month ago, pulled in 157,388 votes* — nearly 17 percent. This was in a closed primary, with no Democratic voters making mischief, so you have to believe something's going on here.

Voting against Benedict Donald has been pretty consistent in GOP-only primaries and caucuses this year, in fact. It was 15 percent against him in Idaho, 18 percent in Oklahoma, almost 20 percent in Tennessee, and a whopping 44 percent in Utah (before Haley withdrew her candidacy). After that, she still pulled 19 percent in Florida, about 25 percent in Connecticut, 22 percent in New York, and now this.

The numbers from Pennsylvania were especially striking because Republicans voted for Haley not just in the Philadelphia suburbs, but also in Cumberland County outside Harrisburg, and the counties of Lancaster, Erie and Berks, all of which are traditionally swingy.

Which means that even with getting 83 percent of the overall vote, Benedict Donald has a real base problem. Political journalism in the US is pretty awful, so don't expect to see a lot of reporters chasing this story. They need their likes and clicks, so they'll always try to prop up Trump as a powerful, competitive candidate. The reality is that he's got a splintered and angry GOP, very little money, deteriorating cognition, and four criminal trials, one of which is underway and already doing damage. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

*Fun fact: Joe Biden won Pennsylvania in the 2020 general election by about 80,000 votes. We cats PURR.

Trump 2024: "Are You Better Off Now Than You Were Four Years Ago?" (Answer: Yep.)

Happy "Study the Injection of Bleach" anniversary to all who celebrate! Yes, it was at a White House presser four years ago today that Benedict Donald asked the hapless Deborah Birx (aka Scarf Lady, whom we absolutely do not miss) about, um, experiments with light and disinfectants. On the bright side, it resulted in this wonderful parody by comedian Sarah Cooper. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

MAGA No-Shows

By Zamboni

The world is still waiting to find out the real reason why Benedict Donald canceled this weekend's North Carolina rally at the last minute. The claim was that they couldn't land in bad weather — but the nearby airport was not shut down, and the storms didn't roll in until hours later. Was he upset that only about 400 MAGAts had turned out for the show?

That seems plausible, because he's reportedly also unhappy that throngs of Trumpy true believers haven't shown up at the Manhattan courthouse to protest his current criminal trial, either. As The New York Times reports in a very fun article today:

"Over the last week, demonstrators visibly identifying as supporting Mr. Trump — with red hats or clothing, or banners and flags — have never totaled more than a dozen. On most days, the number of people total in the portion of the part designated for protesters for or against Trump has never been more than two or three dozen. They have included tourists, locals coming to gawk, more than a few supporters of Mr. Biden, and proponents of conspiracy theories — including Max Azzarello, the man who...self-immolated on Friday."

It sounds to us that in a nearly full-employment economy, everyone must be too busy working to spend days wearing goofy outfits and waving Trump flags outside court. Or maybe the bloom is off the Donald rose? We cats are wondering when the media are going to really start paying attention to how small a slice of the American pie Trumpism represents. In the meantime, we PURR.

Oh, Say Can You See AOC

By Baxter

Well, of course Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is taking more votes from Benedict Donald than from President Biden. We cats always suspected that, because RFK Jr. is a nutcase. Nuts gravitate to nuts.

But sometimes we get stuff wrong. And we're big enough to admit it.

When Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was first elected to Congress in 2018, we thought to ourselves, oh, God — she's going to be a pain in the ass. We could not have been more off-base. She's shown herself to be a team player, an excellent questioner in committee, and someone who is uninterested in cutting off her nose to spite her face. Her vote right out of the gate for Nancy Pelosi for Speaker was the first sign, and she's delivered consistently ever since.

She's been vocal in her support of Biden-Harris 2024, and in the House, she votes outside the mainstream only when she knows there's a cushion to do it. So she's not only been an "A" student in the School of Pelosi, she's obviously shining in the School of Hakeem Jeffries as well. In short, she's a grownup who understands the institutional and political boundaries in which she works.

The result is a day like today, when Biden met with AOC, Senator Bernie Sanders and Senator Ed Markey in the Oval Office after an Earth Day event in Virginia — to discuss Gaza, the disaster known as Benjamin Netanyahu, and the anti-Semitism that's boiling up on college campuses. "I learned a long time ago to listen to that lady," Biden said about AOC. A tremendous compliment.

You won't see members like Rashida Tlaib chatting up POTUS in the Oval, and that's okay. Because AOC is an important ambassador to the lefties. Funny, we cats have always thought of ourselves as left, too. The difference between us and the folks we call liberal losers is that we're willing to get 80 percent of what we want instead of insisting on all or nothing. That's an important talent to have in a pluralistic democracy. We cats PURR.

Yeah, We Know This Is A Breach Of House Decorum, And We Don't Care

Is waving little Ukrainian flags worse than showing Hunter Biden dick pics in a committee hearing? Is it worse than bringing a gun onto the House floor? Asking Mike Johnson, because he's ostensibly in charge of these lunatics. We cats PURR.

Stefanik's Shame

By Sniffles

Of all the House Republican leaders, only Elise "Elsie" Stefanik voted against aid to Ukraine today.

Think about that: Mike Johnson, Steve Scalise and Tom Emmer, miscreants all, voted to do the right thing by one of America's most important allies — but Elsie couldn't bring herself to do it. She voted for Israel and Taiwan, but is so fixated on being picked as Benedict Donald's running mate, she was a big "no" for Ukraine and a big "yes" for Vladimir Putin. Disgraceful, particularly since we don't believe for a second that Trump will select her (she's not "his type").

So, our only questions tonight are these: Where are the Bush II folks who served in the White House with Elsie? She was on staff for Smirky's Domestic Policy Council, and later served in the office of Josh Bolten, White House Chief of Staff. Do they have nothing to say about Elsie becoming one of Vlad's best buds? And what about former Bush II Secretary of State and so-called Soviet expert Condoleezza Rice? How does she feel about her erstwhile Bushie colleague?

Their silence is as despicable as Stefanik's votes. We cats HISS.

Holy Smoke!

 

President Biden posted this at 4:20 PM on 4/20. We cats PURR.

For Heaven's Sake, Grab A Sweater, Donald.

By Hubie and Bertie

Poor Benedict Donald. Nothing is going right for him these days. He's in criminal court in Manhattan, being forced to listen to potential (and ultimately excused) jurors rightfully disparage him and saying their loathing of him meant they couldn't be fair. Quite a change from the deluge of sycophancy he's used to at Mar-a-Lago and in other, friendlier environs. And he's cold. The courthouse is "freezing," he whines.

How can he be chilly? His antics both inside and outside the courtroom are landing him in hot water. Judge Merchan smacked him down the other day for muttering at a just-excused juror, and chided him today for checking his smartphone in court. Most important, prosecutors have averred that he's broken his gag order no fewer than seven times since the start of trial, and the judge has scheduled a hearing for next Tuesday on that. Trump could be fined or even hauled off to the hoosegow. Surely if he were anyone else, he'd already be there.

All this misbehavior is making life more difficult for his own attorneys — and consequently, his case. In trials with normal (i.e., non-narcissistic, non-sociopathic) defendants, the defense team is routinely apprised of the names of upcoming witnesses. The prosecutors argued that they can't follow that routine courtesy, because Trump would tweet and intimidate them on his failing social media platform. "I can't fault them for that," Judge Merchan said. So now Trump's lawyers will have to be prepped and ready for every witness, every day, just in case.

Does Benedict Donald care? Of course not. Not only is he contemptuous of everything that makes a human being human, he doesn't understand how he's undermining himself. Why else would he refuse to stand for the jurors like the rest of the court, including his legal team?

"I have never observed a defendant refuse to stand and face the jury," said a former federal prosecutor. "Trump's disrespect for the jury is unwise." We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Follow The Money (And Michigan)

By Miss Kubelik

With everything that's going on, you'd probably be forgiven for not remembering — or even knowing in the first place — that the lower house of the Michigan legislature was tied between Republicans and Democrats since November, when two members left to serve as the mayors of Westland and Warren, their hometowns.

Well, the house is tied no more, because in a special election yesterday, the Democratic candidates won the empty seats. That might not be surprising since the districts are quite blue — but the margins of victory over their Republican opponents were huge: 59 percent to 38 percent in one race, and 65 percent to 34 percent in the other.

Sounds like one more example of Democrats outperforming, with voters getting their butts to the polls for a "special" in the middle of April when there are plenty of other things on people's to-do lists. So we were feeling pretty good about that. And then we saw something that made us feel even better.

Democrats running for the US Senate in 2024 are crushing their Republican opponents in fundraising. Incumbents Jacky Rosen in Nevada, Tammy Baldwin in Wisconsin, Bob Casey in Pennsylvania, Jon Tester in Montana and Sherrod Brown in Ohio are all cleaning up. But so are challengers Colin Allred in Texas and Ruben Gallego in Arizona.

This is great news. Each of these states, plus Michigan, is going to be crucial in the fall — and it looks like we Democrats are motivated, giving money, organized, and turning out our vote. Keep it up! We cats PURR.

Lucko Does It Again

There's so much about this Mike Luckovich cartoon that's wonderful, but our favorite thing just has to be the juice box. We cats PURR.

"Drowsy Don" Erases "Sleepy Joe"

By Zamboni

Since everything with Benedict Donald and his merry band of traitors is projection, it's important to remember that the trial that began today is not just about hush money — it's election interference.

The term "hush money" fits better in a headline, but the Stormy Daniels payments were meant to silence her about a story that could have had a devastating impact on Trump's ability to win fewer than 100,000 votes in three states in November 2016.

And although the media and pundit world have worked very hard to convince people that Alvin Bragg's case is the least-important of the other three trials pending against Trump, it's fitting, chronologically, that it serves as the kickoff. Trump attained the Presidency through nefarious, mobster-like means, and all his subsequent perfidy — trying to overturn the 2020 election, inciting insurrection, stealing classified documents — flows from that.

You have to wonder, though, how he's going to make it through those trials — or even this one. As a well-known New York Times journalist has reported, "Trump appeared to be asleep" in court today. "His head would fall down…He didn’t pay attention to a note his lawyer passed him. His jaw kept falling on his chest and his mouth kept going slack." Goodness gracious, projection indeed.

Why was Donald so beat? Was he up all night trying to get Putin on the phone? When you consider that there's a seven-hour time difference between New York and Moscow, Vlad was probably having his mid-morning snack by the time Trump reached him at 3 a.m. Eastern. Whatever the reason, Trump looks like hell today, and his handlers are going to have to come up with a new drug mix. We cats PURR.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Actions, Meet Consequences Edition

 

By Baxter

It's been a busy week, and we cats are trying to catch up, because next week looks like it's going to be even more lit. And that's saying a lot after eight days of great jazz, a flawlessly performed Beethoven symphony, and "Randy Rainbow for President" (not to mention a total solar eclipse). Here are a few items we're digesting along with our three breakfasts this morning.

Who runs Stormy Daniels's Twitter account, and why do we think it's actually her? She so sassy and funny. While she'll no doubt be more demure when she takes the stand in Benedict Donald's upcoming hush-money trial (it starts Monday!), she's still making a serious case for national treasurehood online.

Did you hear about the pro-Palestinian activist who threatened the city council of Bakersfield, California (and who's in big, big trouble for it)? During the meeting's public comments section, she told the council, "We'll see you at your house, and we'll murder you." Is she nuts? And isn't that what actually has already happened — to Israelis on October 7?

Following his "deeply weird" meeting with Benedict Donald yesterday, Preacher of the House Mike Johnson is sure to find out that Everything Trump Touches Dies. Meanwhile, the interwebs are having a field day with both Johnson's and Trump's body language: Johnson did a backhand thumb gesture toward Trump when he said the words "hardened criminals," and Trump clearly made Johnson walk in back of him at their exit. (Johnson briefly considered giving Donald a friendly touch on the back, but then quickly changed his mind.) Hilarious!

Finally, we've seen it suggested that President Biden's turnaround in national polling didn't start with his barn-burning State of the Union address, but instead, around the time of the Super Bowl. You see what happens, MAGA, when you start trashing Taylor Swift? We cats PURR.

Totality

This is the kind of Montreal solar eclipse photo you get when you hire someone like J-F Savaria to shoot it. But no matter who was behind the camera, him or us, it was a great experience. Soon it'll be time to head back to the land of E Pluribus Unum — where the polls are looking sunnier for Biden-Harris, as we knew they would. We cats PURR.

That Sinking Feeling

By Sniffles

Do Republicans understand that they're committing suicide? You really have to wonder, because the stars have certainly aligned against them, no eclipse reference intended.

Yesterday, Benedict Donald officially declared (we guess) that the right to abortion should be left up to the states. Today, in one state — Arizona — the Supreme Court said that an 1864 law banning abortion should stand. 1864! Abraham Lincoln was President, and Arizona wouldn't even become a state until almost 50 years later. Could the timing this week get any worse for Trump and the GOP? Do they realize it?

We cats think that the far-right evangelicals and women-haters, with their anti-choice blinders on, are too fanatical to care. But other Republicans must know — the problem for them is, they can't do anything about it. They're like the first-class male passengers on the Titanic, barred from the lifeboats, knowing the fate that awaits them, but powerless to prevent it.

Our only question right now is whether any of the GOP candidates who lose this November — and there will be many of them — will, during their concession speeches, have the balls to blame Dobbs and their party's heedless rush into anti-choice oblivion for their defeats. It'll be interesting to see. Meanwhile, we cats HISS at the Arizona Supreme Court for endangering women's lives, but PURR at the prospect of the Grand Canyon state going into the Biden column in November and Ruben Gallego romping to victory over Kari Lake.

"We Could Have Stopped This Eclipse, If Only Mike Pence Had Had The Courage"

By Hubie and Bertie

The solar eclipse in Montreal was neat! Our only complaint was that we wish it had lasted longer. The city of Sherbrooke in the Eastern Townships got close to four minutes of totality, but we only got one. Still, it was a once-in-nine-lives experience.

Here are some photos of downtown, beginning with about an hour before showtime. People's shadows started to lengthen at 3:25 PM. By 3:27, Montreal looked like a city at night.

In addition to the cheers that went up from the crowds of people at the Old Port, the quay, and on rooftops, the 360-degree sunset was one of our favorite parts. And while our smartphone camera may not have done it justice, we did get one shot of totality. This eclipse gets an A-plus from us! We cats loved every second, and we PURR.

Fun With The Sun

Folks are having a lot of fun with today's solar eclipse, including Ponto, Montreal's orange traffic-cone mascot. (And please excuse the meme with the dog...we couldn't resist.) But the best shade this morning came from Hillary Rodham Clinton. We cats PURR.

The Eclipse, Feline Version

It's very lazy of us cats to post someone else's copy on our blog, but this summation by one of our favorite Twitter accounts is too good not to share. Besides, we're busy getting ready for tomorrow's eclipse (see above). Enjoy, and please follow The Shallow State. We cats PURR.

"This is for anyone feeling anxious over Donald Trump's perpetual malice and psychosis, anyone feeling outrage over his attacks on truth, country, and our institutions, anyone feeling frustrated at the blind support he still seems to engender, and anyone feeling impatient about him being held to account.

 

"Stay focused on this: He's a financial mess. Yesterday's billionaire bash was bogus blustery bullshit — a publicity stunt, obviously crafted to counter his recent narcissistic battering, by allowing him to claim he raised twice as much as an event that included Obama. Look at it critically and see it for what it is.

 

"His Truth Social 'solution' is becoming another problem, another fraud, a weak Hail Mary — down 40 percent in a week, anchored by myth, an embarrassment, and the SEC is watching.

 

"His cognitive decline continues to advance. Other than when he's in very friendly environs surrounded by aides and sycophants, he can barely hold it together for more than a couple minutes. The cognitive decline is being noticed more, talked about more, and we already know his handlers have changed his schedule because of it. These same handlers know they can't hide it forever, not from donors (I guarantee it was a secret topic yesterday), and eventually not even from cult outliers. They're frantically working on every possible strategy to keep it out of the narrative and every possible medication to keep it under wraps. His schedule may change further — and without rallies, he has no narcissistic placation — which is torture for him, especially now, when he's so narcissistically battered.

 

"He will NEVER debate — whatever reason they give, ignore; the REAL reason is that he CAN'T. He's also fraying physically. He looks swollen, blotchy, ruddy, uneven, and his gait and posture are worsening. He's disgorged and he's gagged. Has anyone ever been those two things simultaneously before?

 

"His $175 million bond is now being challenged. He barely posted the $90 million bond. Both his FULL judgments continue to bear interest — EVERY DAY! His legal costs apart from that continue to be stratospheric, and they're also EVERY DAY!

 

"The RNC is broke, in shambles, run by nitwits, and the GOP will get crushed down-ballot without funds. The GOP House and their narrow majority are infighting. There are very few people coming out FOR Trump anymore, beyond the usual suspects. Only 4 percent of his own Cabinet has endorsed him. His base is static at best, and the majority of Haley voters won't come back to him. RFK Jr. will take more votes from Trump, I don't care what anyone says.

 

"Biden, meanwhile, is doing fine, in good spirits, doing his job, and his economic metrics continue to astound. Dems themselves are unified. The campaign is using humor, getting under Trump's skin. While the GOP closes field offices, Dems open them.

 

"Bragg is moving forward. Seven days to trial. Tick-tock. Fani is still on the case. You can bet Jack Smith is working on an 11th Circuit strategy. Rudy is disbarred, destitute, drunk, and disgraced. Eastman and Clark are being disbarred. Navarro is freaking out in prison. Others look over their shoulders. 

 

"MAGA has been super-triggered lately, like angry locusts; remember that they get that way most when they're uncomfortable; cognitive dissonance is starting to set in for some of them, even though most are not yet self-aware of it. Remember that we only see the toothless mob, the bottom 5 percent, but there's a whole lot of them that aren't sure about Putin over Ukraine and are beginning to realize they ARE better off now than four years ago.

 

"So, bottom line, it's Sunday afternoon. Go outside, get some fresh air, walk your dog, pet your cat, choose a bottle of wine to open later, hug a loved one, watch some comedy or college basketball (and soon the eclipse), and above all, breathe deeply, and keep a healthy and accurate perspective."

Don't Call It Plaid

Happy Tartan Day in Canada! We cats just found out that Montreal, where we are right now, has its own tartan, and here it is. The colors represent the city founders and the many groups — like the Scots — who have helped make Montreal great. (Also contributions from French, Irish, English and Indigenous people.) See you either tomorrow or on Solar Eclipse Monday — or both. We cats PURR.

Donald's Very Bad Day

By Zamboni

You know how people aren't naming their babies "Donald" anymore? Ever wonder why? We cats think we know.

And on that note, the main culprit for the "Donald" disaffection had a super-awful day today. You may not have noticed because 1) you were busy living your life, or 2) the news you consumed was primarily about how terrible Benjamin Netanyahu is for Israel, or 3) maybe you only care about women's basketball right now. All understandable. But take it from us, Trump's Thursday was not great. Here's why.

1). The judge in Trump's RICO case in Georgia refused to dismiss the case on free speech grounds.

2). The judge in the Stormy Daniels hush-money case rejected Trump's silly immunity argument. The trial will go forward on April 15.

3). Judge Aileen Cannon turned away Trump's request to dismiss the stolen documents case, although she also handed down a decision that could complicate life for Jack Smith later. (Which means an appeal to the 11th Circuit to remove Cannon could be nigh. Stay tuned.)

4). "No Labels" called it quits for 2024. No candidate.

5). Nebraska legislators defeated a Trumpy bid to change how the state distributes Electoral College votes. This was a Hail Mary by Benedict Donald's supporters to deny Biden 270 EVs and possibly throw the 2024 election to the House of Representatives. Nope, nope, nopity nope.

6). Trump's $175 million bond in the New York civil fraud case may not pass muster. New York Attorney General Tish James is checking it out.

What continues to be amazing is that all this can happen to one guy and he's still the presumptive Republican Party nominee. How the mighty GOP has fallen. We cats salute all of Donald's tsuris, and we PURR.

Truth

 

"Don't judge the strength of Trumpism by the most ardent of his base, the ones that make the most noise, are disconnected from reality, or addicted to seeing us outraged. Recognize instead that he, his myth, and his ability to drive a single new voter, are greatly diminished."

—The Shallow State

Bibi Hits Bottom

By Baxter

Remember how the world rallied around the United States after the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001? The headline in the French newspaper Le Monde probably said it best: "We are all Americans." For the first time in a long time, everyone was in our corner.

Then, in just the next two years, George W. Bush — who we used to call, pre-Trump, The Worst Person Who's Ever Lived — squandered all that goodwill by invading Iraq, a country that had absolutely nothing to do with the destruction of the World Trade Center.

Benjamin Netanyahu has done nearly the same thing to Israel. Immediately after the attacks by Hamas on October 7, the largest massacre of Jews since the Holocaust, we were all leaping to Israel's side. But Netanyahu's scorched-earth campaign in Gaza has been turning sympathizers away for some time. And now, an IDF killing of seven World Central Kitchen aid workers threatens to alienate whoever is left.

Netanyahu's actions have not only killed countless Gazans but have also helped blind the world to Hamas's innate culpability. This is enraging. Hamas fighters built — and have been hiding in — miles of tunnels under Gaza. They were perfectly willing from the get-go to sacrifice civilians on the surface. But Netanyahu's awfulness obscures that. The World Central Kitchen debacle, a tragedy in and of itself, makes it even worse.

The good news is that Israelis, angry about the deaths, the mismanagement, and the failure to get their hostages back, have been demonstrating against their government by the thousands. Can they force their much-loathed Prime Minister to resign? We cats live for the day that Netanyahu's out of office (and, we hope, hauled off to the hoosegow). That would make us PURR.

Freedom In Florida Is On The Ballot

By Sniffles

Team Biden just landed their campaign team in Florida in the last week or so. "Make no mistake: Florida is not an easy state to win, but it is a winnable one for President Biden," national campaign manager Julie Chávez Rodríguez said.

Today, the state got even more winnable. The Florida Supreme Court handed down, for Republicans' political fortunes, the worst possible pair of decisions: They allowed Ron DeSantis's draconian six-week ban on abortion to take effect in 30 days — and they allowed the referendum guaranteeing the right to abortion onto the November ballot. 

Which means that over the next six months or so, Floridians will be getting so outraged by the ban and its infringement on their lives that they'll storm the polling places in a rage in the fall. People do get annoyed when their rights are taken away.

(P.S. The court also allowed a ballot measure to approve recreational marijuana. It's going to be a stampede, kids! Last one in the voting booth is a rotten egg!)

If we cats were Republicans — not crazed MAGAts, but a relatively sane version of what the Grand Old Party used to be — we would be miserable at how the forces are aligning against us. Since Dobbs, Democrats just keep winning, and now the rabid anti-choicers have effectively put Florida, which has been trending redder and redder, into play. And even worse, Republicans have no money to push back in one of the country's most expensive media markets. Benedict Donald is raiding their coffers for his legal bills — and nobody is stopping him.

Speaking of Trump, will he speak out about the Court's decisions? Maybe not. He's probably too busy watching his wildly overvalued media company's stock price dive by 40 percent. We cats PURR.

Republicans Hate Everybunny

By Hubie and Bertie

Are you as tired of GOP faux outrage as we are? You've likely heard about the so-called Christians on the Republican side getting all upset that President Biden is observing International Transgender Visibility Day — simply because this year, it falls on the same day as Easter. (Or perhaps we should say, Easter falls on it, since Easter is the holiday with the date that moves.) Oh, well! Happy ITVD, everybody, and we'll see you at the White House Egg Roll tomorrow. We cats PURR.

Three Presidents, 26 Million Dollars

 

By Miss Kubelik

After Thursday night's $26 million fundraiser in New York City, Team Biden made some important announcements about the campaign's battleground-state organization. One was that they're opening 10 (count 'em) 10 field offices in the state of North Carolina alone.

(North Carolina is a ripe opportunity for Democrats this year: Republicans have nominated a sweaty, yelling religious whackjob for Governor, and their candidate for Superintendent of Public Instruction not only home-schools her kids, she's called for the public execution of the Presidents you see above.)

To put it in context, last night's haul was big that it could pay for the entire general election campaign — field and media — in the Tar Heel State. And Biden had great timing to piggy-back on the New York event and announce the field initiatives today. It will help drive the weekend conversation into the Sunday talk shows.

We cats also have some suggestions for the media's next logical steps:

• Go to the swing states, and instead of talking to angry old white supremacists in diners and Waffle Houses, look for the state GOP and Trump field offices (which won't exist) and the field organizers working therein (they won't be there). Ask why.

• Ask the Trump campaign in what states they intend to play offense, and why. Specifically ask for their numbers and locations of field offices, how many paid staff they have, etc.

• Ask the Trump campaign what they're doing to reach out to constituencies outside their crazy base — the Haley voters, the Romneyites, the Cheney fans. Should be interesting.

And if any national newspeople would contact George W. Bush to ask him why he's been a no-show in the GOP version of last night's Radio City Music Hall event, we'd like to shake their hands and give them a Daniel Webster cigar. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Lest We Furr-get: When The Disenchantment Began

Liz Cheney had some admiring words for Joseph Lieberman today, which she posted with a photo from the 2000 Vice Presidential debate. It made us gag. There were many reasons to be annoyed and even disgusted with Lieberman in the years that followed, but that debate was the first thing we thought of when we heard he'd died. To say that his performance was inadequate is being very kind. We cats HISS.

Roevember Is Coming

By Zamboni

Chalk up another excellent election result for Democrats post-Dobbs. This time, it's in Alabama, right smack in the middle of its post-IVF-ruling nightmare. How sweet it is.

Yep, it's a state house race, but don't let any pundits or panicked Republicans try to minimize it. This special election took place yesterday in a GOP district because its previous representative, David Cole, resigned and pleaded guilty to voter fraud last year. (Emphasis ours.) In 2022, Cole beat Democrat Marilyn Lands by about seven points. Yesterday, Lands beat another Republican by nearly 25 points.

That's roughly a 30-point flip, for those of you doing the math at home.

In her campaign, Lands emphasized reproductive rights and, in particular, the horrifying February ruling by the Alabama State Supreme Court on in vitro fertilization, which Republicans have desperately been trying to run from ever since. She also was very open about her own abortion due to a nonviable pregnancy. In short, her platform was that women and families need to have the freedom to determine their own reproductive futures — safely and privately.

Be afraid, GOP. Be very afraid. We cats PURR.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Self-Inflicted Disasters Edition

By Baxter

Ronna Romney appears to be out at NBC after less than a Scaramucci.

We're happy about that, because Ronna deserves everything bad that can happen to her. But we're not rushing back to MSNBC or cable news anytime soon. The Ronna hire was not only outrageous and objectionable in and of itself, but let's be honest — the on-air uproar seemed contrived. Chuck Todd's contract ends this year, so he had nothing to lose by calling out his bosses. Kristen Welker has had no credibility since she kicked off hosting Meet the Press by interviewing Benedict Donald. Even the protests lodged by MSNBC's other anchors will not change the fact that its parent network will owe, and will pay, a lot of money to a criminal. And it's not clear that anybody in the media has learned a lesson.

Which makes us crazy. So let's focus on some other important stories that are headlining the news today.

We hope that Governor Wes Moore's first phone call this morning was to Governor Josh Shapiro, who has deep experience in quickly fixing broken things. (Knowing, of course, that the Francis Scott Key Bridge is a little bit bigger than that highway overpass in Philadelphia.) Is Maersk prepared for the staggering lawsuits that are coming their way?

The judge in Benedict Donald's Stormy Daniels criminal case has just gagged him. How sweet! As legal beagles have pointed out, while it's not unusual for judges to issue such orders in due course, Judge Juan Merchan hastened to sign and issue it today — right after Trump publicly went after Michael Cohen and Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg's staff. Oh, and the judge's daughter. Does Donald not realize that Merchan could send him to jail if he's convicted? (Or if he violates the gag order? Hm!)

Meanwhile, Trump is now selling "God Bless the USA" Bibles. We were all set to hack up hairballs about that until we saw Liz Cheney's snappy response: "Happy Holy Week, Donald," she tweeted at him. "Instead of selling Bibles, you should probably buy one. And read it, including Exodus 20:14." (That's the commandment that Trump broke when he had sex with Stormy Daniels.)

Finally, we debated about sharing this horrific photo of Kimberly Guilfoyle from an event at Mar-A-Lago this past weekend. But it's so symbolic of everything that's terrible about Trump and his world. Guilfoyle, who was once married to California Governor Gavin Newsom and who used to look normal, is clearly unwell. We despise her, but find this picture disturbing. And we HISS.

Tish Keeps Donald In The Penalty Box

By Sniffles

Tweeps are upset about the reduction in Benedict Donald's bond in his New York civil fraud case today. We can't get on that train. First, it's exhausting. Second, we have no control over what the courts do with Trump. The only action we can definitely take — and it's a big one — is to vote against him in November.

But it's a little weird how all the folks who are rending garments and gnashing teeth are ignoring the fact that Trump's $464 million judgment hasn't gone away. "Donald Trump is still facing accountability for his staggering fraud," Attorney General Letitia James said in a statement. "The court has already found that he engaged in years of fraud to falsely inflate his net worth and unjustly enrich himself, his family, and his organization. The $464 million judgment — plus interest — against Donald Trump and the other defendants still stands."

Yep. And Benedict Donald has to cough up the $175 million bond in 10 days. This actually seems humiliating for him: Just days ago, he said he had the original amount in cash! But now the court has basically called him a lying non-billionaire. Expect him to go on another endless Truth Social rant in the wee hours tonight.

Meanwhile, we'd like to put in a New York-y word here. Tish James is our state Attorney General. We vote for her, and she answers to us. Her responsibilities are to enforce New York law and, in this particular case, protect the interests of New York taxpayers (us). If today's decision means that the state will get some money, as opposed to chasing down and seizing properties — a dicey proposition at best — we find this acceptable. In the meantime, we can all be pleased that Benedict Donald's first criminal trial starts April 15. We cats PURR.

Glad Tidings From The Garden State

By Hubie and Bertie

Democrats got some good news today: Tammy Murphy has dropped out of the Senate race in New Jersey against the uber-indicted Bob Menendez, who's in terrible shape electorally and is mad that his fellow Democrats are disgusted with him. He says he'll run as an Independent. (Who cares?) Murphy's decision clears the way in our primary for Congressman Andy Kim, who is a mensch. Kim was so appalled at how the Trump insurrectionists defiled the Capitol on January 6 that the first thing he did after calm was restored was to help clean up. He'll be a good Senator. We cats approve, and we PURR.

PeePee Embarrasses Himself

By Miss Kubelik

The funeral of the former Conservative Prime Minister of Canada, Brian Mulroney, was held in Montreal today. It was probably the most important memorial since Pierre Trudeau's in the fall of 2000. Distinguished Canadians from across the political spectrum attended, and spoke — including current Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who had received some important support from Mulroney last June.

Each speaker shone in his or her own way. Hockey legend Wayne Gretzky was appropriately humble. And Mulroney's own voice was piped through the sanctuary, singing "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling," his favorite tune. As funerals go, this one was apparently top-notch.

Sadly, current Conservative Party leader Pierre Poilievre didn't get the memo. In a man-on-the-street interview outside the Notre Dame basilica, Poilievre was given the softest of softballs — the opportunity to say some nice things about the deceased — and instead, standing in the falling snow next to his evidently miserable wife, he chose to make a political statement about how awful things are in Canada today. (Which they aren't.) How Trumpy — take an interview that any normal politician could have easily handled with taste and class, and turn it into a disgusting, self-promoting cauchemar.

Dude just doesn't know how to read a room. And although we were not fans of Mulroney, who was a big Ronald Reagan stan, we have to believe that he wouldn't have approved of Poilievre's behavior today, either. Poilievre may have gotten a new haircut, ditched his glasses, and now favors Steve-Jobs-type black turtlenecks — but there's no makeover that can improve his wretched personality. It's hard to believe that Canadians will overlook that in next year's elections. We cats HISS.

Lest We Furr-get: Tidying Up

Ronna Romney is scrubbing her old tweets. Here's one of them. If we see more, we'll post them. In the meantime, we cats HISS.

She Belongs In Prison, Not On TV

By Zamboni

We cats used to watch a lot of MSNBC. Heck, it was only thanks to "Countdown with Keith Olbermann" that we were able to get through the second Bush Administration. For years, our cable boxes were set to tune directly into the channel whenever we turned them on.

But we've been watching less and less lately. The rise, fall, and re-emergence of Benedict Donald has revealed cable news for what it really is: a corporate enterprise that strives for eyeballs, clicks and likes by feeding viewers' anxiety instead of informing them — even in the face of Trump-inspired threats to democracy. MSNBC is no exception. All their talking heads and hosts — except perhaps Lawrence O'Donnell — are complicit. Even those who rail against Trump today were eager enablers eight and nine years ago. (Looking at you, Joe and Mika.)

Now, we and the network are done. NBC News has hired Ronna Romney McDaniel as an on-air commentator. Boy, are we glad we're not Jen Psaki, Rachel Maddow, Nicolle Wallace or Symone Sanders, and have to share a set with this person. (Then again, they'll probably meekly go along, because they're all part of the wink-wink-anxiety-pumping operation that lands them their giant paychecks in the first place.)

The woman who's in charge of NBC's political coverage (and whom we shall not name because she doesn't deserve it) can try to dress up the appointment as providing "an insider's perspective," and all the other silly stuff you say when you hire a normal person to join the team. But Ronna Romney helped Benedict Donald try to overturn the 2020 election. She tried to cancel our votes. We won't be watching.

Why don't they just go back to airing Trump's "shows" without fact-checking, and allow him to call into "Morning Joe" and spew garbage for 30 minutes? So long, NBC. We cats HISS, hack up multiple hairballs and dump our dirty litter boxes over Ronna Romney's head.

Trump's Underperformance Problems Are Mushrooming

By Baxter

Another primary day yesterday. Why is Benedict Donald underperforming? Ask Stormy Daniels.

Or, if that topic makes you gag, just look at the respective Biden and Trump margins of victory from Ohio, Kansas, Illinois and Arizona and try to figure it out. (NOTE: The Florida primary was only for Republicans, and HAHAHA, Ron DeSantis came in third. Behind fellow dropout Nikki Haley. But we digress.)

President Biden's victory margins bested Trump's in every state — plus-74 percent for Biden versus plus-59 percent for Trump in Kansas, plus-74 versus plus-65 in Ohio, plus-88 versus plus-65 in Illinois, and plus-86 versus plus-59 in Arizona. Wow! — all eye-popping, but Arizona, jeez. It's a key swing state, and Benedict Donald can't get a greater-than-60-percent margin of victory there? Sounds like trouble.

In short, we're seeing a real enthusiasm deficit on the GOP side. And more of them — not just Mike Pence, Willard Romney and the Cheneys now — are saying they won't support Trump. (Senator Todd Young of Indiana is just the latest.) These continuing announcements give other Republicans permission to walk away from Donald, too.

Cable news talking heads will no doubt rhapsodize about Trump's primary victories, but if they do, they're ignoring the cracks in the Republican foundation. Biden-Harris, meanwhile, has grass-roots energy, lots of money, a record of accomplishment, and, unlike Trump, a refusal to run America down. This all seems to us like a good way to win in November. We cats PURR.

Joe's Irish Ayes

A whole boatload of Kennedys turned up at the White House yesterday to help President Biden celebrate St. Patrick's Day. What a big NOPE to their silly brother, uncle and cousin, RFK Jr. We cats PURR.

Baths

By Sniffles

So the great Benedict Donald Bloodbath Brouhaha continues into its second day — third, if you count Saturday, when he made that awful speech in Dayton, Ohio. Jeez, Trumpsters are ruining baths now. Is nothing sacred?

As Casey Stengel would say, you could look it up — so we did. First, members of the media and the Twitterverse should learn that "bloodbath" is one word. Second, its principal definition is "a great slaughter." The definition "a major economic disaster" comes in third, usually with "market" preceding it. Nevertheless, Republicans and MAGAts are desperately trying to spin Trump's bloodbath remark as a reference to the auto industry, which, we shouldn't forget, Trump neglected during his term with a lot of empty promises.

They think this is going to fly because of Trump's habit of speaking like a mob boss (never quite explicitly saying what he means, but leaving it open for his loyal gangsters to interpret and carry out). But thanks to his obvious cognitive deterioration, Trump is no longer verbally adept enough to pull this off. His mind flits around like it never did before. Which means that his lack of specificity allows people to interpret it any way they want. (As did the Morning Schmoes, for example.)

And since Trump saluted the insurrectionists at the beginning of his show — even playing some January 6th bastardization of the national anthem — how does he deserve any benefit of the doubt? We cats HISS.