Friday, July 31, 2015

The First Great Speech Of The 2016 Campaign

We cats are very impressed.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

A Pat On The Head And A Kick In The Rear

By Sniffles

We cats just sent a donation to Planned Parenthood, because, well, you know. And we hope that all those anti-choicers who are screaming about fetal tissue in research have loved ones who suffer from muscular dystrophy, Parkinson's or a degenerative disease of the retina. Or, even better, maybe they do. As opinion leaders more talented than we are have pointed out, medical research is not for the faint of heart.

But at the same time, we agree with Hillary Clinton that the Planned Parenthood "gotcha" videos are disturbing.

Here's why.

As we've already pointed out, we have no idea why PP's senior director of medical research was drinking wine at a business lunch. Has she been disciplined for that? Because using fetal tissue in research is defensible, and Planned Parenthood has been scrupulous in following the law about it. But it's just damn careless to treat the meal with the fake, phony and totally not real "Biomax" folks as a happy hour get-together, especially when the topic of your conversation is as serious and (pun intended) sobering as enabling medical breakthroughs. Sorry, Ms. PP Senior Director: Red wine at a weekday lunch is for folks in Montreal who know how to handle it. Not for you.

Second, Planned Parenthood gets 10,000 demerits for being snookered by these anti-woman jackasses. After years — nay, decades — of opposition, including intimidation, harassment and even murder, you would think that our side would be a lot more sophisticated than that. You get a call from "Biomax"? Do you research the company online before you meet? Do you check with your contacts in the biomedical research field to see if anybody's heard of them? Do you just use a freaking ounce of common sense before you agree to have lunch with them and share a bottle of Merlot? This drives us cats absolutely mad, and now that we've started venting about it we almost want to take our donation back.

Except that we don't. Because Planned Parenthood deserves to survive, and idiots like Rand Paul and Ben Carson and all the other penis people in the Republican Party are on the wrong side of reason. So we hope that Planned Parenthood has learned its lesson, and that this kind of crap will, someday soon, be a thing of the past. We cats PURR at the same time that we HISS.

Makes Cheney Look Good

By Miss Kubelik

Around this time of year, 50-pound bags of deer corn start showing up at our local Walmart and, we presume, at sporting goods stores. It always annoys us cats because we know what it's for: luring unsuspecting woodland creatures out so that teabag guys who don't feel manly unless they shoot something can slaughter them. (Our owners buy it, but only to shoot deer with a camera, not a gun.)

We instantly thought of the deer corn when we heard about the murder of Cecil the Lion. The details of the crime are so appalling that we cats can't bear to repeat them here. Suffice to say that the perpetrator, a loathsome individual named Walter Palmer who practices dentistry when he's not killing endangered animals, deserves to be hounded from society for all time.

Happily, that appears to be what's happening. Social media has exploded in revulsion, and this Palmer psychopath has been forced to shut down all of his lives, online and real. Newt Gingrich is among those calling for Palmer to be hauled off to the hoosegow. Wow — we cats agree with Newt Gingrich! Just amazing.

There are not enough dirty litter boxes in the world to dump on Walter Palmer's head, in his underwear drawer, his hot tub or anywhere else. We cats will have to rely on the world's most famous conservationist to speak for us, because we are simply speechless at Palmer's cruelty, pusillanimity and depravity. He no longer qualifies as a member of the human race, and we cats HISS.

"Not only is it incomprehensible to me that anyone would want to kill an endangered animal (fewer than 20,000 wild lions in Africa today) but to lure Cecil from the safety of a national park and then to shoot him with a crossbow? I have no words to express my repugnance.”

—Jane Goodall

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

What Pet?

A cat, of course.

Unless a horse.

But since our Ted

Was a leftie, they've said

We think a choice

Between a cat or rat

Should be a Democrat.

We cats PURR.

Harper's Northerland Not So Good To Donald Sutherland

By Zamboni

In case you're wondering, conservatives are trying to keep people from voting in the True North, too.

The Tory government of Stephen Harper in Canada says Donald Sutherland can't vote. And Sutherland is mighty annoyed about it.

"In 1978," the actor wrote in a Globe & Mail op-ed, "the government made me an Officer of the Order of Canada. The Governor-General gave me the Governor-General’s Award awhile back. I am on your Walk of Fame in Toronto. My sense of humor is Canadian. But I can’t vote. Did you know that? If you don’t live here all the time, you can’t vote."

That's because Sutherland's been living and working abroad (okay, in the US) for more than five years. So even though he still holds his Canadian passport, and has refused to take out American citizenship, Stephen Harper doesn't want him casting a ballot.

We cats are mystified. Why wouldn't a democratic government want to encourage — and make it easy for — all its citizens to vote?

And why, especially, disenfranchise a celebrity as big as Sutherland — an actor who, after multiple versions of "Pride and Prejudice," made us laugh like never before when he played Mr. Bennet in 2005?

"Is it because they’re afraid we’ll vote to return to a government that will once again represent the values that the rest of the world looked up to us for?" Sutherland asked. "Maybe."

We cats say there's no maybe about it. And we HISS.

Monday, July 27, 2015

John McCain Is A DumbDumb, Too

By Baxter

John McCain has lashed out at the execrable Rafael Cruz, Jr. for calling Mitch McConnell a liar the other day. “Let’s even assume that [Cruz was] right, which he wasn’t, you still don’t do that,” McCain sniffed.

But does John McCain realize that he's responsible for Ted Cruz?

Cruz was going nowhere in his 2012 Texas Senate race until the Famous Quitter from Alaska — before a canceled TV show and a failed web channel and a second bastard grandchild all hit — endorsed him.

And of course the Famous Quitter would have been Nowheresville in the first place had John McCain not plucked her from deserved obscurity to be his running mate in 2008. (We cats still think that nomination was tantamount to treason.)

So now Rafael Jr. is rubbing McCain and all those Republican Senators the wrong way? As with Donald Trump, they have only themselves to blame. We cats HISS.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

DumbDumb Debate

By Sniffles

Although the hapless inhabitants of Pundit World are trying to pretend that Donald Trump's Republican primary surge has "peaked," we cats beg to differ. It's clearly wishful thinking, as today's NBC News/Marist poll shows: D.T. is #1 in New Hampshire and breathing down Scott Walker's neck in Iowa. Gosh!

Which reminds us, did you catch the insults that Trump hurled Walker's way yesterday? So let's discuss the August 6 GOP debate — for which Trump will surely be onstage, and over which the overpaid, under-intelligent Beltway prognosticators are wringing their hands.

Prediction: Trump will say or do another outlandish thing a day or two prior to Cleveland. We cats would be shocked if he didn't, because it would change the conversation, roil the questioning and  mess with everybody's minds.

It'll be an added wrinkle to an already fraught situation for the other clown-car candidates. Think about it: If you were a GOP campaign staffer, how would you prep your candidate for this FOX "News" circus? They won't know until "the most recent polls" come out which clown will be on which stage. So, Republican campaign managers: Will your guy (or gal) be at the grown-up table or the kid table? What if you prep your candidate to slam Lady Lindsey Graham on national defense, or trade barbs with Jeb! Bush on Common Core, only to see him/her have to settle for raking Piyush Jindal over the sad state of Louisiana?

And even if your candidate is solidly at the grown-up table, there still will be a thousand other people on the stage. How many zingers for how many competing candidates can one person memorize? What if Trump drives the debate in a totally different direction and your guy loses the chance to deliver his best line?

What a mess. We wonder when Rancid Pieface is going to be called to account for it. And funny how these people think they should run the country when they can't even run this. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Friday, July 24, 2015

Guess Who's Come To Dinner?

By Miss Kubelik

President Obama's in Kenya, and we cats can just imagine how crazy the right wing is going.

But as amusing as it would be to check on the exploding heads over at Free Republic, we think we'll pass — mostly because Obama looks so thrilled that you just have to be happy for him. Anyone who's read his amazing Dreams From My Father memoir knows how meaningful this trip is.

It's a reminder, though, that it really is a shame that his mother Stanley Ann Dunham died so young from cancer. If she had lived to see her son become President — and been able to serve as a walking-talking link to the (actual) past — the insane whackjob birther movement would have remained where it belonged: lurking solely in the corners of some idiot teabag's little, little mind.

In fact, we cats think Ann Dunham would have had some choice comments for the whole tinfoil-hat crowd. It's fun to think about, and it makes us PURR.

Tidbits And Cats Treats: Republicans Behaving Badly Edition

By Zamboni

Donald Trump? Who's that? We cats can't imagine. After all, why spend the lion's share of your airtime on The Donald when the Republican Party is chock full of people who are acting like idiots? Here are just a few who have lately caught our attention:

First, of course, is the teabag hater who shot up a movie theater in Lafayette, Louisiana, last night. At first it sounded like the authorities were going to hang everything on John Russell Houser's mental state and leave it at that. Then all this hate-liberals-love-Hitler stuff started to come out, uh-oh. It just goes to show you that being a teabag nutcase is a mental state, and not a good one. We cats just want to know: How and where did he get the gun? And which passenger in the 2016 GOP clown car did he endorse?
Then, consider the suit who breaks into a tony Georgetown restaurant and steals booze in the dark of night. We cats were unsurprised to learn that the crook — clearly identifiable in security-camera video — is a Republican PR hack and former pooh-bah over at The Weekly Standard. Sorry, we know that breaking and entering is enough to haul this idiot off to the hoosegow, but working for Fred Barnes and Bill Kristol for seven years is the far more serious crime.

And let's not forget Rafael Cruz Jr., who marched onto the Senate floor today to call his side's majority leader nasty names. Only people with institutional memories — in other words, nobody currently in journalism or Pundit World — will know that this is a horrifying breach of Senate protocol, just not done. But we cats are still trying to figure out that puzzling oxymoron, "controversial Export-Import Bank."

In short, you don't have to look as far as Donald Trump to find Republicans who are screwy. Thank goodness the US Chamber of Commerce is finally seeing the light and looking to remove some of the jackasses they helped elect. Another fissure in the party! We cats PURR.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Pusillanimous Pundits Posing As Perspicacious Political Prognosticators

By Baxter

Are cats ever hired to be talking heads on TV? Seriously, we want to know, because we'd be way better than the fools who prattle away on cable news.

Latest case in point: This past weekend, the spin from the Republican pundits was that Donald Trump was done, through, finito. It was all because he had crossed a line that even the GOP can't cross, if indeed such a line exists: dissing the military record of former POW John McCain.

Take it to the bank, they said: Donnie was toast!

Fast forward to less than a week later, and we have this: A vexed GOP is grudgingly accepting the fact that Trump is not going away any time soon. "Their main concern now is limiting his damage to their party."

Hm. We cats are unimpressed. Particularly since our prediction is that this coming Sunday, the same jabbering GOP jackasses who screamed their false Trumpophobic forecast to the rooftops will be back, opining away with impunity. Nobody will say to them, "But last time you were on, you said...."

It's not unlike the neocons and Kristolheads who led us into that disastrous Iraq invasion in 2003, and who are now banging the Iran war drums without any responsible party calling horse hockey on them.

We cats are really, really tired of journalism's lack of institutional memory, and its failure to force highly paid pundits to account for past sins. These people are contributing to the low level of political discourse almost as much as Donald Trump is, and it's journalists' job to point that out. Since they don't, we cats HISS.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Look Forward In Anger

By Sniffles

As we all try to sort out whether the recent Washington Post/ABC News poll reflects any Republican-base rejection of Donald Trump's silly McCain comments — or whether it's too early to tell — we cats are trying to decide why our friends the Freepers and other teabag whackjobs are attracted to Trump in the first place.

The consensus among the Washington pundit class seems to be this: They're mad. Really, really mad. Mad about people who don't look like them getting stuff they don't deserve, mad about gay people getting married, mad that the Civil War has finally ended (even though as a consolation prize, they get the Allman Brothers, and NASCAR.) Barack Obama has been in power for almost eight years, and they're furious about it!

Hmmmm. We cats remember a similar frustration on our side of the aisle, not too long ago. It seems to us that we Democrats reacted differently.

Take 2004, for instance. Sure, we were upset about The Worst Person Who's Ever Lived and his phony "mushroom cloud" invasion of Iraq and the whole atmosphere of "Americans better watch what they say." But we were outnumbered and outgunned and feeling very flat. But then a guy named Howard Dean started pushing back against all the Bush-Cheney crap, and he was using the tools of the early Internet to do it. It was energizing and exciting — until he came in third in Iowa. To this day, we cats love Howard Dean, but his anger and frustration didn't cut it at the polls.

So by 2008, after four more years of The Worst Person's mismanagement and non-leadership, we had every right to be angrier still: about Katrina, the VA scandal, the August 6, 2001 PDB, Roberts and Alito, the Kyoto Protocol and climate change, reproductive rights, the financial meltdown, and the endless, endless Worst Person vacations. The list goes on. But we Democrats didn't react with xenophobia, insults and rage. Instead, we reacted with "Yes, we can."

Democrats get mad, but we understand that mad doesn't wear well. People want to be inspired, not pissed off. So in the interest of the country, we hope that the GOP is never tempted to leave "mad" behind. We cats PURR.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

David And Wallis And Adolf, Oh My!

By Miss Kubelik

Let's talk Nazis.

It's not our favorite subject, since in today's political discourse the specter of Nazism is too easily raised. Latest example: Taking down the Confederate flag in South Carolina is, like, something out of 1933. "I feel very much like the Jews must have felt in the very beginning of the Nazi Germany takeover," said an idiot rebel flag supporter in Alabama last month.

To which we cats say, oh, please. There's only one family in world government right now that has a Nazi issue. And we're talking about real Nazis — not just some extrapolation of "Gosh, this must have been what the Third Reich was like" from people whose only experience is multiple viewings of "The Sound of Music."

Yep, we're talking House of Windsor.

The Queen and her family are in a bit of a Nazi snit just now, thanks to the anti-monarchist (and devoted Republican) Rupert Murdoch's Sun tabloid. People are calling for Buckingham Palace to release their archives on the Windsors' complicated relationship with all things Third Reich-y — all due to the Sun's publication of a 17-second home movie showing the late Queen Mother and the present Queen, then a child of six or seven, goofing around with Nazi salutes while at Balmoral on holiday.

Egging them on is the unsurprising villain of the piece, the present Queen's Uncle David, later known as King Edward VIII — at least until he abdicated two or three years later, in December 1936.

What we're not sure is getting mentioned in all the coverage is the fact that Uncle David was not only a source of embarrassment but a real worry to his brother and successor, George VI (father of the present Queen), and Prime Minister Winston Churchill — both heroes to Britain in the Second World War.

After war broke out, King George and Churchill decided  to hasten the abdicated former King and his American Duchess to the Bahamas, where they could serve as Governor-General and Mrs. Governor-General and hopefully be prevented from any further forays into treason. (The Nazis had ideas of invading England and setting Edward up as a puppet king, something that the former Edward VIII, possibly regretting his abdication and having had a pleasant visit to Germany in 1937, did not exactly discourage.)

"For the King and Churchill...the removal of the Duke of Windsor to the safe distance of the Bahamas was...a sentence of banishment and bitterly accepted as such by the Windsors, 'the St. Helena of 1940' was how the Duchess referred to it," writes Sarah Bradford in her biography of George VI, The Reluctant King. "Churchill himself explicitly referred to it as such at dinner at Lambeth Palace a few weeks later: 'The Duke of Windsor's views on the war,' he said, ' are such as to render his banishment a wise move.'"

Since we are avid readers of Sarah Bradford, the former king's Nazi sympathies — and his family's and government's battles against them — are already well known to us cats. And while we'd be interested in any further light that the palace's archives might shed on this episode, we have no doubt that Uncle David was the primary, if not the only, transgressor. In short, let's all move along — not much to see here.

And Rupie Murdoch? Nice try, bud. We cats HISS.

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Lest We Furr-get: If One Veteran's Record Is Off-Limits, Every Veteran's Is

By Zamboni

Why is it okay to impugn John Kerry's military record and not John McCain's?

We cats are just wondering — since the 2016 GOP Presidential candidates, no doubt vastly relieved, are falling all over themselves to condemn Donald Trump's stupid "I like people who weren't captured" remarks in Iowa today.

Never mind the fact that they were far more skittish about criticizing Trump when he called Mexicans "rapists." It's just that we don't remember any of these current Republican clowns having a problem when the execrable Swift Boaters were savaging John Kerry back in 2004.

And oh, by the way, it's pretty funny that John McCain has never notched a win like the diplomatic miracle John Kerry pulled off this week. Just sayin'. We cats PURR.

Friday, July 17, 2015

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Stuff We Should Be Talking About Edition

By Baxter

While the prognosticators, the Republican establishment and the political punditheads of the world can't seem to figure out "the Trump voters" (what's the mystery? — we know who they are), here are some news stories that have caught our attention this Friday night.

So the talking heads are cluck-clucking over Hillary Clinton's "burn rate" through the money she's raised. But what is she burning it on? High-priced consultants like the worthless Mark Penn? Or hundreds of staffers and dozens of offices and all the stuff that you need for an effective ground game? We cats say the latter. We couldn't be troubled less about the way Hillary is running her campaign, and meanwhile, why are we the only ones pointing this out?

Looks like it's hoosegow time for that repulsive Republican and all-around tax cheat Michael Grimm, who was sentenced to eight months in prison today even though he had gone crying to the judge about what a horrible childhood he had. What is it with these GOP "tough-on-crime" loudmouths who turn out to be such wusses when they're caught with their own hands in the cookie jar? Kinda reminds us of "Transvaginal Bob" McDonnell, who wept copiously about his broken marriage at his own trial. Man up, Bob and Mike — maybe you can get cells next to each other, and pass notes.

Finally, while everyone is so agog about the Planned Parenthood "sting" video, we cats have two questions. First, why is Planned Parenthood's senior director of medical services drinking red wine at a business lunch? Second, why doesn't our side ever engage in skullduggery like this? It would be a hoot to video some doctor as he's forced by the Republicans to tell pregnant women that they'll get breast cancer or never have any other children if they have an abortion. We cats are disgusted that we never call the right wing on this crap — and so we HISS.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

In Plain Sight

By Sniffles

We cats are usually amazed that The Washington Post pays the young Cillizza lad to do what he does: point out the obvious. Or, when he's not doing that, miss the nuance of the political stories he covers. In short, we believe the young Cillizza lad to be an overpaid lightweight who is too often eager to parrot, without any kind of objectivity or analysis, the talking points from the Republican consultants and party wags he consults on background.

Today, however, we are not blaming the lad for missing nuance. Nope, we're blaming the lad for missing the bold print that's staring him right in the face. Goodness gracious, does he know nothing?

Today, he's marveling at not just the the rise but also steady appeal of Donald Trump. We cats say, wait — what?

First, the fact that Cillizza is marveling at all is the best proof that he has a direct line to establishment Republicans and dutifully stenographs their opinions. Rancid Pieface, Charlie Black, Karl Rove, Bill McInturff — these are all GOP talkers who romance the credible press behind the scenes. We bet that Chris Cillizza is one of the leading names on their speed dial (behind Mara Liasson of NPR).

But second — and here's the crux of our argument — how can any respectable journalist be surprised? It takes us cats approximately 10 seconds to visit right-wing sites like our friends the Freeps and see all sorts of admiring comments about Trump. They love him — just like any trailer-park white guy with confidence issues loves a super-rich businessman with a big mouth.

So yes, young Cillizza lad, Donald Trump is indeed the "middle finger of the Republican base." We're amazed it took you so long to figure it out. We cats HISS.

(IMAGE: Donald Trump cats)

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Brave New World

By Miss Kubelik

They tell us this is the last opportunity in our lifetimes that we'll get signals back from a new planet —in this case, Pluto. (Clearly, NASA folks aren't acquainted with the concept of felines' nine lives.)

Still and all, we think we're permitted to experience a little awe here. The first images from our solar system's farthest-off planet causes us all to ponder what it means to be a living thing in the cosmos.

While we cats are used to being the center of our particular universe, tonight we're willing to share the footlights with Pluto. And we PURR.

Dip In Road

By Zamboni

Call us cats crazy, but we think Jeb! Bush has had way more bumps in the road than, say, the leading Democrat in the 2016 race.

Emails? Who's talking about emails when Little Jebbie says that Americans should work longer hours, and was stumped for an answer when asked if the US (i.e., his brother, the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived) should have invaded Iraq? And then there were all those questions about whether he really would be able to rake in the ton of money he claimed he would — or whether it was all fake, fake, fake.

Well, it appears that Jeb! actually did raise that money — and in the last day or two, the political chattering class started talking about how he had weathered the storm of his post-announcement gaffes and was beginning to cruise again.


Guess who's at the top of today's USA Today/Suffolk University poll? Hint: It ain't Jeb! This is at least the second time by our count that the Bushies have touted a Jebmemtum! spin, only to have a poll come out that puts the lie to that spin.

And guess who wipes the floor with the guy who leads that GOP poll? We cats PURR.

A Shot In The Dark (Not)

By Baxter

Have you ever noticed how careful the right wing is about using the same kind of language, no matter what issue they're talking about?

Last year, for example, everybody from Rafael Cruz Jr. to Ron Johnson to John McCain to John Boehner — we could go on — got their marching orders to call the Obama Administration "lawless." We're not sure whose byline that memo went out under, although we suspect Roger Ailes's.

So it struck us when Benjamin Netanyahu, the world's biggest pain in the ass after Vladimir Putin, said today would "go down as one of the darkest days in world history." Why? The Iran nuclear deal, of course.

Our first thought was, goodness gracious, such histrionics — and from a guy who probably already has The Bomb. Our second thought was, hey! Where have we just heard that word "darkest" before?

Ohhhhh, we know. It was Raffie Cruz Jr., talking to silly Sean Hannity about the Supreme Court. The Court's rulings on Obamacare and marriage equality, Cruz frothed, made up "some of the darkest 24 hours in our nation’s history."

Pardon us while we grab our fans and our smelling salts. But as we roll our eyes at these right-wing drama queens, we can't help but note the use of language. No doubt in our furry minds: These guys are all on FOX "News's" email list, and the memos don't stop at the border. We cats HISS.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Fit To Be Tied

Why doesn't Greek prime minster Tsipras ever wear a tie? And would Angela Merkel be more willing to bail him out if he did? If so, we cats wouldn't blame her. So we PURR.

What Atticus Said Is Still True (Even If The Movie Isn't)

By Sniffles

We cats have been both interested and uninterested in the current brouhaha surrounding Harper Lee's classic American novel, To Kill a Mockingbird.

We've been interested because of course the novel is wonderful. But uninterested because we can't help thinking that the publication of Go Set a Watchman is, in the words of a good friend, somebody taking advantage of an old woman to make money.

In our view, if Harper Lee had wanted Watchman to be published, she would have done so long ago. So we are unconcerned that suddenly Atticus Finch is "revealed" in Watchman to be a segregationist. Why? Because Lee got some very good advice from her editor back in the late 1950s — thanks to which, Lee threw Watchman in a drawer and wrote Mockingbird instead.  

See, Watchman is neither a prequel or a sequel, but a first draft. The Atticus in Watchman bears no relation to the Atticus in Mockingbird. (Think Margaret Mitchell's initial creation of "Pansy" O'Hara. Not fully formed, not ready for prime time.) What's the thing that separates the two Atticuses? A really good editor. Hurray for editors!

In the meantime, we cats need to get something off our furry chests. We like the Stanley Kramer movie version of Mockingbird, but it contains an historical error that has always driven us crazy.

"Maycomb was a tired old town, even in 1932 when I first knew it," the now-adult narrator, Scout, says. Then presently she adds, "Maycomb County had recently been told that it had nothing to fear but fear itself."

Impossible: Franklin Roosevelt didn't utter those words until 1933. Just sayin'. We cats HISS.

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Trump Not Flagging Edition

By Miss Kubelik

Yes, we cats know that there were other news stories out there today besides Donald Trump. But after that wild "silent majority" rally in Phoenix this afternoon, how can we ignore him? Here are a few Donald thoughts, plus reflections on some other goings-on in the world of politics.

So The Wall Street Journal has flat out declared that Donald Trump "won't win a GOP caucus or primary." Really? How do they know? Has Rupert Murdoch so fixed the 2016 field that he can blithely predict a sure Trump flame-out? We cats are unconvinced, since Trump has been sinking money into, for example, some serious Iowa organizing. Rupie, beware.

And now the GOP is cowering before the specter of an independent Trump candidacy. (How delicious that would be, especially if the Republican nominee is once again, a la 1992, someone named Bush.) We have a few suggestions for The Donald on his running mates: Michele Bachmann, Carl Paladino, Steve King, Tom Tancredo and, of course, Sheriff Joe. We like Paladino the best — as long as Trump is registered to vote in, say, Florida instead of New York. Carl and The Donald are perfectly matched.

Meanwhile, speaking of gifts to the Democratic Party for the 2016 general election, Donald Trump isn't the only Republican candidate delivering. Let's give a tip of the hat to Scott Walker, who in his pandering to the crazy GOP base has just handed millions of female voters to our 2016 nominee.

Finally, we would be remiss if we didn't mention John Boehner's latest Capitol Hill idiocy. Because even in a string of incredibly embarrassing moves by the House "leadership" since the Republicans took over four years ago, the Confederate flag rider they inexplicably attached to a spending bill on Thursday manages to stand out.

Called out by Nancy Pelosi, Boehner and his minions were caught with their pants down — and chaos ensued. Although the GOP was once again humiliated and the spending bill was pulled, we cats are disgusted as well as amused. Did they really have to wave the banner of the KKK in John Lewis's face on Thursday of all days? We cats SNARL, and dump dirty litter into John Boehner's Merlot glass.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Lest We Furr-get: Our Loss

As we all wait for the Confederate flag to be taken down and carted off to a South Carolina museum, let's not forget the reason why all this is happening: That State Senator Clementa Pinkney and eight of his parishioners were brutally murdered at Bible study three weeks ago.

Facts like that tend to get lost in the political noise, and we cats just thought it was important to remember.

The Night That Jenny Horne Drove Old Dixie Down

By Zamboni

For the second time in 12 years, a woman — this time, a white Republican — has brought a symbol of the Old Confederacy to its knees.

And Jenny Horne was scathing about her fellow members of the GOP as well: "I thought the stall tactics were childish. It turned into an endurance contest and we spent I don’t know how many hours doing something that the Senate did in a fraction of the time and I, quite frankly, was insulted."

So, how long before a racist Republican teabag declares he's going to challenge Horne in her next primary? Not long, dear readers. In the meantime, though, we cats PURR.

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Right On The Flag, Wrong On Grammar

By Baxter

Republican grammatical errors are flying thicker and faster than insults to humanity by Donald Trump. This time, it's Jeff Kaufmann, the chairman of the GOP in Iowa, who harrumphed on talk radio about right-wing outrage over the Confederate battle flag.

"There are 17,000 young Iowa men that [sic] are laying [sic] in graves that [sic] fought against that very flag and everything it stood for," he said, committing multiple oopsies.

Of course, those brave Iowans have been lying in their graves for 150 years now, but we get what Kaufmann is saying. And we applaud him for reminding people in general that the Confederate flag is a symbol of rebellion against the United States.

What we think is really amusing, though — besides his misuse of the English language — is Kaufmann's stated refusal to "tolerate" having the flag issue linked to his party. Because oh, how it does. And no matter how many Nikki Haleys and Paul Thurmonds are out there in the world, oh, how it will.

As we cats have pointed out many times before, Republicans have coddled and petted and encouraged racists for 50 years — ever since the Confederate flag-wavers deserted the Democratic Party over civil rights and were welcomed with open arms by the GOP. It was called the Southern Strategy. You could look it up.

So don't try to tell anybody that your party isn't complicit with all this hate, Jeff Kaufmann. All the outrageous statements these days — from anti-gay to anti-African American to anti-immigrant to anti-Muslim to anti-you-name-it — are coming from Republicans. Time to own that. Until you do, we cats HISS.

(IMAGE: Stuart Carlson, Universal Press Syndicate)

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

King For A Day (Of The Clown Car)

By Sniffles

While we can all agree that Iowa Congressman Steve King is one of the craziest Republicans around, every now and then he says something so ridiculous that it just begs to be smacked down.

Like his desire to impeach Supreme Court justices Elena Kagan and Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Why? Marriage equality, of course! Because Justices Kagan and R.B.G. "conduct[ed] same-sex marriages on [sic] their spare time and did not recuse themselves" from Obergefell v. Hodges, King carped on right-wing radio.

Really? Well! What about all the justices who have conducted opposite-sex marriages? Why does it only go one way? Piffle on that. We cats will laugh at silly Steve King after we're done HISSING.

Monday, July 6, 2015

Republicans: Not Very Bright

By Miss Kubelik

The South Carolina Senate has voted, 37-3, to remove the Confederate battle flag from the state capitol grounds.

But not before some Republican jackass named Lee Bright complained that the flag flap was bogus. The real issues, he whined, were women's reproductive rights and marriage equality. "Let’s deal with the nation of sin that we face today," he pleaded.

It's hilarious that a Republican would bitch and moan about uppity girls and lesbos the day after American women steamrolled Japan on their way to a World Cup — and kissed their wives afterward. We cats PURR.

Lest We Furr-get: The Day Moseley Braun Drove Old Dixie Down

By Zamboni

As the South Carolina legislature debates the future of the Confederate battle flag, a friend has reminded us cats about a similar dust-up in the US Senate that happened back in 1993.

That was when the execrable (and, happily for us, now very dead) Jesse Helms of North Carolina tried to win approval for a design patent renewal for the United Daughters of the Confederacy. The organization's logo featured the national flag that the slave states had adopted after secession.

But the bill, which probably would have sailed through under different circumstances, died a quick 75-25 death. It was thanks to then-Senator Carol Moseley Braun from Illinois, who, outraged, stood up to say this: "It is absolutely unacceptable to me and to millions of Americans, black or white, that we would put the imprimatur of the United States Senate" on an icon of slavery.

Pretty cool, yes? We cats think so. And we're wondering why the cable news talking heads haven't dialed up former Senator Moseley Braun for comment on today's flag kerfuffles in South Carolina. It seems to us she'd have something eloquent to say about it all.

Meanwhile, though, we can all amuse ourselves with how Jesse Helms was beaten into submission 22 years ago this month. And how Mitch McConnell whined that the logo patent should be approved, because, he claimed, "The Civil War is history."

Hm. McConnell clearly didn't know his Faulkner. And two decades later, it's still true — much to this country's detriment — that the past isn't dead, and isn't even past. We cats HISS.

Saturday, July 4, 2015

Explosive Results

By Baxter

Here's a fun news flash — and just in time for Canada Day to have morphed into the Fourth of July:

Canadians like Democrats.

Specifically, they like Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. In fact, "if Canadians were deciding the next US President, Hillary Clinton would win by the largest landslide in the country's history," says a Mainstreet poll conducted in the True North at the end of June.

Highlights of the survey include:
  • Hillary as the Democratic nominee would beat Jeb! Bush, 72 percent to 16 percent.
  • Hillary would crush all other Republican candidates by similar margins.
  • Amusingly, the Canadian-born Rafael Cruz, Jr. scraped the bottom of the popularity barrel, coming in behind Baby Marco Rubio, Jeb!, Rand Paul and even Donald Trump. (Now, that's low.)
  • Seventy-five percent of respondents said they "totally approved" of President Obama's performance in office.
So, too bad that Canadians can't vote in the US next year! But this fun poll also has a more sobering side. It shows how insidious our American-style, polarized media are.

See, we cats are convinced that in FOX "News"-less, Rush Limbaugh-less Canada, news consumers are simply not as brainwashed as their American counterparts are. Informed by a more reasoned, less partisan and broader media diet, they see no reason to vote for Republicans. Any Republican. We cats agree, and we PURR.

Friday, July 3, 2015

Bathing Beauties

By Sniffles

So Willard Mitt Romney is hosting Chris Christie at his lakeside New Hampshire home tonight. Since Christie's LAP-band surgery hasn't gone terribly well, we cats wonder whether there will be any swimming, diving, boating or inner-tubing on the schedule. What a priceless photo op! We hope the paparazzi will be out in force.

Oh, and guess what? Baby Marco Rubio will be there, too. Sounds to us cats like the slumber party from hell!

But one topic we're sure will be on the agenda this weekend in Wolfeboro: delegates to the 2016 Republican convention. As in, will Christie and Rubio be willing to throw theirs to Willard when it becomes clear they can't win? Yep, there's no doubt in our furry minds: Romney's thinking about it. And because that would make the teabag Republican base want to jump in the nearest lake, we cats PURR.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Note To Walker: This Photo Op Will Kill You With The Crazies

As Chris Christie learned after Superstorm Sandy in 2012, the Republican base has gotten so wacky that if you do the expected thing — like greet the President when he comes to your state — they'll hatehatehate you forever.

We cats can't wait to see Scott Walker's Iowa and South Carolina polls this weekend. Bet they suck! Let's all PURR.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

A Quickie: Happy (Soggy) Canada Day!

Here's how Google is marking the day — which you may not see if you have a US-based ISP.

And actually, the way it's raining in Montreal today, we're thinking of breaking out the canoes ourselves. Oh, well: Happy Canada Day anyway!


By Miss Kubelik

This is not a sports blog, but we cats simply must post about that amazing performance we witnessed last night.

No, not the US women's soccer team — although they were brilliant, much to the dismay of the six German guys who were sitting behind us. (By the way, we think it was pretty neat that they were there. It's a long way from Berlin to Montreal, and, you know, those were girls down on the field.)

Nope, the other amazing performance was the pumped-up screaming of the 51,000 fans who filled Montreal's ramshackle Stade Olympique — nearly all of whom were ardent, unbridled and oddly dressed Americans.

Now, we cats generally recoil when we see thousands of people decked out in the south-of-the-border version of bleu, blanc et rouge. Our first reaction is that we've wandered into a teabag rally or stumbled into the Republican convention. But these fans couldn't have cared less about Supreme Court decisions, fast-track authority, the Confederate flag, fair housing or Obamacare. All they wanted was for the US to beat Germany.

We cats have never been among so many other Americans in Montreal. We're used to being the only Yanks in the crowd, so it was kind of surreal. But you know what? Considering the dramatic 2-0 win we were lucky enough to be present for, and the amazing week that the United States has just enjoyed, it was pretty fun. And so we PURR.