Friday, September 30, 2016

When Red Papers Go Blue

By Baxter

Wow! This day in the Presidential campaign has been so eye-popping and extraordinary that we cats feel like doing a Hillary Clinton shoulder shimmy. We were tempted to write Donald Trump a thank-you letter for all the stupid things he's done this week, but we decided it would just go on forever. So instead, we'd like to revisit the topic of newspaper endorsements.

Before the last few days, Clinton had collected the backing of Republican papers like The Arizona Republic (first for a Democrat, ever!), The Cincinnati Enquirer (first since World War I), The Dallas Morning News and The Houston Chronicle. And we cats predicted more.

Well, guess what: Joining The Richmond Times-Dispatch, The Chicago Tribune has hacked up a hairball and endorsed Gary Johnson. USA Today, which was founded on the principle that it would never tell its readers whom to vote for, just published an unprecedented editorial warning Americans away from Trump. And The San Diego Union-Tribune, which has supported only Republican Presidential candidates in its 148 years of existence, today threw its weight behind Hillary.

We have a few questions for Rancid Pieface and Trump apologists like Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell and Sean Spicer.

1) How do they explain Clinton endorsements from such reliably Republican organs like the Republic and the Enquirer? They can't trash those papers too much, remember — it might reflect on their upcoming Senate endorsements (John McCain in Arizona and Rob Portman in Ohio). 2) How do they justify the Clinton endorsements from papers like the Union-Tribune in the context of the reassuring, pro-Trump arguments they've been trying to peddle? And 3) how do they explain the fact that a paper like the Tribune, which for years spoke more forcefully about foreign engagement to fight Communism than nearly anyone, has just endorsed a pacifist like Johnson?

Finally: How do they fix this in a mere four years? We cats PURR.

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Yellin' About Yellen

By Sniffles

With his insistence on touting unscientific online polls and his apparent conviction that he "won" Monday's Presidential debate, Donald Drumpf could be said to be living in a bubble. But could he also profit from one?

And is that why he's attacking Janet Yellen and the Federal Reserve Board now?

Anyone who watched the debate heard Drumpf repeat his accusation that the Fed is "doing political things" by not raising interest rates. (He's so articulate!) And Pundit World probably thought, wow — whatever happened to the age-old tradition of keeping the Fed outside the bounds of partisan bickering?

But here's something more puzzling: Drumpf has praised the Fed in the recent past. So is this just another case of insecure Donald attacking a powerful woman? What's going on here?

We have a theory: As a (we assume) wealthy man with no ethics or scruples, Drumpf has placed a big bet on higher interest rates, and he's just drooling to cash in.

He could have bought interest rate futures or US dollar futures, or he could have sold other currencies that would decline if US rates increase. He could be amassing cash to swoop in like a vulture on highly leveraged luxury properties that would suffer from higher rates. Of course, he won't tell us any of this, will he?

If Donald Drumpf could brag about making money off the collapse of the 2008-2009 real estate bubble, why shouldn't he be planning to profit off the 2016 Fed bubble? We cats demand answers, which we'll never get. So we HISS.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Donald's Debate Disaster

By Miss Kubelik

What did we cats like best about the Presidential debate? Are we allowed to say "everything"? Well, that post would take too long to write. But here are a few of our favorite things.

Donald Trump's huffy reference to those awful, unfair, terrible ads that Hillary's been running. Nearly all of which feature him, um, saying things that he's actually said.

Hillary's greeting during the opening handshake. "How are you, Donald?" Perfect. A breezy, familiar yet commanding tone. It wasn't long after that that Trump condescendingly inquired how he should address her. "Secretary Clinton — is that OK? Good. I want you to be very happy. It’s very important to me."

Trump's description of the police officers in Dallas having been "killed very violently." We're trying to picture how someone could be gently shot to death. And how did you like that Amy Carter moment Trump had? What does his 10-year-old son's facility with computers have to do with cybersecurity?

Hillary springing the story of Alicia Machado on an unsuspecting Trump. "Where did you find this? Where did you find this?" he sputtered, manterrupting like crazy as he had all night. Trump's treatment of Machado is cruel and unforgivable, but we find his "Miss Housekeeping" moniker for a Latina Miss Universe the most offensive of all.

And, of course, the post-debate spin — which Trump, in addition to the debate itself, has decidedly lost. This is despite his penchant for citing unrepresentative online polls (including one that wasn't even taken). We cats HISS at the ridiculous GOP nominee, and PURR at our masterful own — of whom we're very proud.

(IMAGE: The Trump family flees the stage after the debate. This photo says it all.)

Sorry, Republicans, But It's Not Howard's End

By Zamboni

We cats saw Howard Dean's "cocaine user?" tweet right after Monday night's debate and thought it needed a little editing. (We offer our services. In fact, we'd love to manage his entire Twitter account if he'd let us.) But overall, we considered the tweet harmless.

Fast forward to this morning: News anchors are agog and the Donald Drumpf campaign, which makes a regular habit of insulting people, is wildly offended. The sky is falling!

Oh, please.

Donald Trump was sniffing during the debate. We noticed it at the time. Then we checked the Twitterverse and saw that lots of other people were noticing, too. Governor Dean's tweet was just one more comment in the cacophony. (We were tickled, though, that in a subsequent TV interview Dean went on to say that Trump "also has grandiosity, which is something that accompanies [a cocaine] problem. He has delusions...when he told everybody he was very smart not to pay taxes, he denied he'd said it in front of 100 million people." PURR!)

But Trump's faux outrage about the Dean tweet is just that — faux — since it's impossible to be credible about allegations of drug use when you've spent weeks and months implying that Hillary Clinton was close to death because she had a cough. It's also impossible to be credible about drug use when Trump constantly argues that his status as the highest of high-powered New York corporate titans earns him the right to be President. We find it very hard to believe that someone who swaggered through the business and fashion worlds of the 1980s and '90s didn't do coke.

Of course, Trump could put this to rest by releasing all of his medical records. And since he so famously demanded that President Obama release his birth certificate, perhaps we, in turn, can demand that he submit to random drug tests. Our choice of time and place, Donald.

So, yes, allow us to rise to the defense of Howard Dean. He should not back down or remove the tweet — only cowards do that. Sure, we admit to suffering from an incurable case of Dean adoration. But since Trump has tried to claim that he didn't sniff during the debate (it was the mic!), we know this: Whatever Trump's malady — a cold, a coke habit, an overdose of Viagra — there is something deeply wrong with that man, and he must never be President. We cats HISS.

(IMAGE: Gee, Trump drank an awful lot of water on Monday, too. Another symptom? A lot of people are saying so!)

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Clock, Cleaned.

Last night's debate was so extraordinary that we cats don't know where to start. Sadly, we have a full day of meetings in DC and will not be able to post our trenchant commentary until later. But in the meantime, Mark Cuban was right: It was, indeed, a humbling at Hofstra.

Monday, September 26, 2016

Sunday, September 25, 2016

ZZZZ... So Many Clinton Endorsements, So Little Time

By Baxter

Those of us who love the play Cat On a Hot Tin Roof trace part of our adoration to Tennessee Williams's liberal use of the marvelous and mellifluous word "mendacity."

So imagine our delight that The New York Times not only endorsed Hillary Clinton the other day, but also just published a scathing "Part 2," explaining in no uncertain terms why Donald Trump must not be President. His mendacity (yep, they used the term) was a big reason.

In short, his lies. Constant, unrelenting, unremitting lies.

We cats can't remember a major newspaper that ran two separate pieces as the Times has. We've certainly noticed how many have endorsed Clinton early — a brutal comment on the GOP's historically bad nominee. Endorsements of Hillary by Republican papers like The Dallas Morning News, The Houston Chronicle and The Cincinnati Enquirer have also sent a signal: Expect other traditionally right-leaning editorial boards to take a pass on Trump.

It's just more evidence of how far off the rails the Republicans have gone this year. Papers declining to back a GOP nominee for the first time in decades if not a century. Former officials from the Reagan, Bush I and Bush II administrations throwing their support behind Clinton. Establishment types — like Lindsey Graham, John Kasich, Jeb! Bush — refusing to follow Rafael Cruz, Jr. in his cowardly steps and endorse Trump. All living previous GOP Presidential nominees except Bob Dole skipping the Republican National Convention.

The media simply have to stop acting as if there's some kind of equivalency between Trump and Clinton, and that their respective negatives should be given equal weight. To continue pushing that canard would be mendacious indeed. We cats HISS.

Candidates For The Spin Room

By Sniffles

In our brief dip into the Sunday morning political gabfests (brief because we cats are about to head out to register voters), we heard a talking head say that the spin after tomorrow night's Presidential debate is going to be crucial.

So here are some rough n' tumble, take-no-prisoners, in-your-face folks we'd love to see spinning away for Hillary — and the kind of things we'd like them to say:

"What kind of a man roots for the economic crash that cost millions of people their jobs? Their homes? Their life savings? What kind of a man cheats students, cheats investors, cheats workers? I’ll tell you what kind of man. A man who must NEVER be President of the United States." —Senator Elizabeth Warren

"Mike Pence once said that when both parents work, children end up facing 'stunted emotional growth.' I'm a doctor. Let me tell you what actually stunts children's growth. Not having access to healthcare." —Governor Howard Dean

"You know, I happen to believe the crazy notion that people who weren't born with the same opportunities as you and me should be given the same opportunities as you and me. And all it takes to accomplish this is everyone. All of us. Or as a pretty kick-ass woman once said, it takes a village." —Sarah Silverman

"There beside me [on September 12, 2001] was Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton, the New York Senator. Hillary Clinton, my friend. She understood the pain my family, our city, our nation were under. She fought to help our city rebuild. And she delivered." —Congressman Joe Crowley

"It’s hard for many Americans to reconcile their romanticized fantasy of Main Street USA with today’s reality. But Mayberry isn’t coming back." —Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

And of course this man:
"Donald Trump, have you ever been to Arlington Cemetery? Go look at the graves of brave patriots who died defending the United States of America. You will see all faiths, genders and ethnicities. You have sacrificed nothing and no one." —Khizr Khan

Would Mr. Khan do it? Probably not. But it sure would make us PURR.

Saturday, September 24, 2016

And The Newspaper Endorsements Keep Piling Up

"Through war and recession, Americans born since 9/11 have had to grow up fast, and they deserve a grown-up President. A lifetime's commitment to solving problems in the real world qualifies Hillary Clinton for this job, and the country should put her to work."

The New York Times, September 24, 2016

Friday, September 23, 2016

We Approve This Message (Purrrrrrr...)

Portrait Of Prosperity

Representative Robert Pittenger (R-NC): Protesters in Charlotte "hate white people because white people are successful and they’re not."

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Best Ad Of 2016

We cats are wildly impressed.

And Now, From The Department Of Horrifying Thoughts Department...

By Miss Kubelik

Item #1: The political world is agog that George H.W. Bush has refused to deny the cat that Kathleen Kennedy Townsend recently let out of the bag: He'll vote for Hillary Clinton. However, we think few pundits are taking the Bush-Trump conundrum far enough into the future.

When will someone observe what the Bushes have already figured out — namely, that if Donald Drumpf doesn't go down to defeat in 2016, George P. Bush will have to run against Donald Jr. for the Republican nomination in 2024? (Whoa, hairball time.)

Item #2: Newt Gingrich is claiming that Drumpf is "the first conservative" courageous enough to brave America's hideous "inner cities" and "talk change." Obviously, what the former House Speaker meant was that Drumpf is a whitey who's not afraid to talk to black folk.

This statement is not only condescending, it is a lie. We cats are not in the habit of defending Republicans, but does anybody remember the GOP's 1996 Vice Presidential nominee? Jack Kemp was a trailblazer in reaching out to the African-American community, citing his football career as the basis for his belief in racial equality. If Kemp were alive today, he'd be spinning in his grave.

Item #3: This one is probably more scary for Republicans than for us. But there's a report that Mike Pence is going to attend Monday night's debate. He wants to "be there" for Drumpf. Okay, we'll set aside the bromance-y implications of that assertion and just say that it's a stupid waste of campaign resources. (Pence should be in a key battleground state, watching with supporters — oh, never mind.)

But maybe we do know why. Take Pence away, and who's going to be in the spin room for Drumpf afterwards? Gingrich, whom Garry Trudeau used to portray as a bomb with a lit fuse? Crazy Rudy Giuliani, foaming at the mouth? The Drumpf campaign needs a grownup, and since Kellyanne Conway can't seem to handle questions about Donald Trump's tax returns, and Steve Bannon and his white hood are under wraps, it looks like Mikey gets the job. We cats HISS.

Explanation, Please

By Zamboni

We cats have many questions about life in America today. For example, we're still trying to figure out how that ridiculous North Carolina bathroom law is being enforced. Has Pat McCrory stationed people outside restrooms to check birth certificates?

But this morning, after two more fatal police shootings of African-American men, we're wondering this: Why do cops always seem to shoot these guys to kill?

Can't suspects just be wounded? This guy was.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Soggy Logic

By Baxter

Mike Pence has decided that an unverified estimate of 650 people turning out for a Williamsburg rally in bad weather means that he and Donald Drumpf are going to win Virginia. We cats can attest to the validity of that statement by confirming that yes — it's been raining a lot in the Old Dominion lately.

Pence's exuberant assertion — made over the phone to Drumpf, apparently — is hilarious, on a ton of levels. But let's just take his assumption at face value — that those 650 lamebrains, merely by showing up, will make the difference in Virginia for the Republican ticket on November 8. We have a few questions:

How many of the 650 are registered to vote? How many are registered but have changed their address, and don't realize that they have to re-register? How many haven't voted since 2004 and now are inactive on the voter rolls?

How many know where their polling place is? How many know their voting hours on Election Day?

How many of them have volunteered to sign up new voters, recruit volunteers, knock on doors, make phone calls, be voter advocates, and take people to the polls? In short, aside from attending a rally and making a small-dollar contribution online, what else have they done besides sit on the couch, drinking beer and watching Hannity?

Finally, is there a robust Drumpf organization here that will help answer all these questions? We haven't seen any reports that campaign volunteers were circulating among the Williamsburg crowd with soggy clipboards, signing people up. Just sayin'. Mike Pence is ridiculous, and we cats HISS.

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

A Quick Thought For Monday Night

By Sniffles

Until he went rogue on Friday (and has continued to act like an idiot since), Donald Drumpf spent a few weeks obeying the orders of his new team, Steve Nazi Bannon and Kellyanne Conway, and behaved himself. This helped him in the polls and made us Democrats freak out (which, as we all know, we're very good at).

Drumpf couldn't sustain the facade. But he has reminded us of when he most gets in trouble: When he abandons the teleprompter and says whatever he believes (or thinks he believes), sans filter.

And you know what? There won't be any teleprompters at the debates. We cats PURR.

Monday, September 19, 2016

Lest We Furr-get: When They Couldn't Take "Yes" For An Answer

By Miss Kubelik

We cats agree wholeheartedly that Democrats from the Presidential ticket on down need to show working-class voters who feel threatened by globalization how our policies, and not the Republicans', will benefit them and their families.

In fact, that's one of the reasons we're looking forward to next Monday's debate, when Hillary Clinton will be able to describe in exquisite detail how she'll cut middle-class taxes, raise the minimum wage, invest in clean energy and infrastructure, make child care more affordable and lower college costs. (Her opponent, meanwhile, will speak in word salads and meaningless generalities.)

We know in our feline hearts that Secretary Clinton, who has fought for families her entire career, crafted her economic plan with their welfare, and the welfare of the entire nation, in mind. And that as President, she will work hard to help all Americans, whether they like her or not — because Hillary Clinton is a grownup. (On the other hand, what her opponent said on FOX "News" this morning officially downgraded him, mental-capacity-wise, from a 12-year-old to a 10-year-old.)

But there's a nagging worry shadowing our confidence. It's our distinct memory of Barack Obama on Election Night 2008, when he said this:

"To those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices. I need your help. And I will be your President, too."

This Administration has accomplished an awful lot, including rescuing the country from a second Great Depression. But we know now that as the 2009 Inaugural balls got underway, Republicans were plotting to never, ever cooperate with Obama on anything, even if the future of the nation was at stake. And we know that after nearly eight years of an America helmed by its first African-American President, an ugly and long-simmering backlash has finally reared up and manifested itself in all things Trump. For those people, despite his display of empathy and his expressed wish back in 2008, Barack Obama never was their President. They wouldn't allow it.

So will the GOP diehards deign to work with a President Clinton to benefit working families, bring healthcare to more Americans, and save the planet? Will the haters put away their T-shirts that say "Trump That Bitch"? We fear not. That makes us sad, but it also makes us HISS.

Sunday, September 18, 2016

And By The Way, Hillary's "Bodyguards" Are The Secret Service

By Zamboni

Donald Trump is repugnant for many reasons, but nothing about his behavior appalls us more than — let's just say it, shall we? — his calls for someone to assassinate Hillary Clinton.

We saw glimpses of this when he encouraged supporters to beat up demonstrators at his rallies. That was bad enough. Now, he has twice done a nod, nod, wink, wink at his unhinged (and heavily armed) supporters about the benefits of shooting his Democratic opponent.

The most recent one was Friday, when he pushed the lie that Clinton wanted to take people's guns away — in fact, she doesn't — and added that her "bodyguards" should disarm so that we can all "see what happens to her."

This is so not funny, and so unacceptable, and so beyond the pale, that we barely know where to begin.

Surely tons of pixels have been expended on explaining how, in a country of around 300 million firearms, it only takes one nut to grab his Glock and do Donald's bidding. So we will simply focus on its hideousness. When you consider how scarred American history is by assassinations — beginning with the murder of the Party of Lincoln's founding President, for heaven's sake — to even hint, as Trump does, that someone should kill Clinton is proof that he has no soul.

Yeah, we know that the alt-righters and the channers and the Internet trolls would say, forget it — it's all about lulz, and to anyone outraged by Trump's behavior, the joke's on you. To which we respond, no, you creeps: Wallow in the virtual world as much as you want, but Trump is saying things that can have dangerous consequences in the real world — something you evidently know very little about.

We cats lived through the assassinations of the 1960s, which the frustrated, nihilistic white men who comprise the channer culture are too young to remember. So we are not amused, will not indulge in "lulz," and in fact will do everything we can between now and Election Day to ensure that their hero the execrable Trump never reaches the White House. And of course we HISS.

(PHOTO: The bed in which Abraham Lincoln died, its pillow still stained with his blood. If Lincoln could come back today and see the Republican Party of 2016, he would never stop throwing up.)

Friday, September 16, 2016

The Bully Backs Down

By Baxter

Thank you, Reverend Faith Green Timmons, for gently humiliating Donald Trump in Flint the other day. It set him off on another one of the vengeful rages that he goes into when he thinks that someone's disrespected him.

Especially someone who is, shall we say, not like him (white, male, rich, Republican).

In the Flint case, it was a woman of color in a clerical collar. Back in July, it was a Gold Star dad who had lost a son to a suicide bomber in Iraq. Reverend Green Timmons and Khizr Khan both challenged Trump's humanity — but he clearly decided they were challenging his masculinity.

How do we know? Because after the Democratic Convention he went right after the Khans — especially Mrs. Khan — in one of the most inexplicable and ill-advised attacks a Presidential nominee, who should have been resting on his laurels, could stage. "She probably, maybe she wasn't allowed to have anything to say. You tell me," Trump said, alluding to the Khans' Muslim faith.

Now, evidently smarting from being cowed by a black woman at his Flint visit, Trump not only slammed Reverend Faith Timmons as a "nervous mess," he allowed his fury to seep through in an interview last night with Robert Costa of The Washington Post.

Hell, if you're pissed off at a black person, why stop at the Flint pastor when you can go after the biggest, most powerful African American in the world — especially since you were the one who rode the birther beast for all it was worth, both before 2011 and after? So when Costa asked him about his campaign's recent statements that he now believed Obama was born in Hawaii, Trump, still stewing, refused to say.

Having been shut down by Reverend Green Timmons, Trump just couldn't bring himself to utter these simple words: "Yes, Bob, Obama was born in the US, period." Instead, this morning he gratuitously slipped the line into a manufactured event in which he paraded some veterans around like props and asked the media to ooh and aah over the size of his penis new hotel. (Happily, they declined.)

We cats are rooting for the next person who gets the opportunity to embarrass Donald Trump. Who will that person be? A transgendered student barred from using a public restroom in North Carolina? A US-born child who lives in terror every day that her parents will be deported and her family torn apart? A working-class mom of three who couldn't stay home from her job even though she was sick? There are so many qualified candidates — but only one way that we know Donald Trump will react: like a child. We cats HISS.

(PHOTO: Trump speaks to members of the Bethel United Methodist Church in Flint. Look at that crowd! It's YUGE!)

Thursday, September 15, 2016


Having read Colin Powell's hacked emails, in which he said Donald Trump was a racist birther, we cats have one question. Since Trump — just tonight — has doubled down on that birtherism, what will Powell do now? We have a suggestion: Endorse Hillary.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Wild Week Edition

By Sniffles

Even we cats are willing to admit that these days, the political news is nuts. We could devote entire blog posts to any one of these stories, but because there are only so many hours in a day, we'll make do with the following pithy comments instead:

Wow, Colin Powell is such a disher! While we obviously agree with him that Donald Drumpf is a national disgrace, and that Drumpf's birtherism is racist, we're pretty amazed at how bitchy the rest of Powell's hacked emails are. We'd just like to get it on the record that even after 33,000 messages were turned over in her nonexistent "scandal," Hillary Clinton's emails weren't nearly as snarky. In fact, they weren't snarky at all. Just sayin'.

We also want to smugly observe that many, many people have stepped forward to confirm our original observation that Clinton — and millions of American women — tend to power through illnesses instead of going home to bed. Just like we cats do, actually. (We know there are predators out there.)

Meanwhile, more basket cases: We're not sure why the Trumpsters are still trying to make hay out of Secretary Clinton's "deplorables" comment when their deplorables continue to pop up left and right. Turns out there was violence both inside and outside the Trump event in Asheville, North Carolina, on Monday — thus proving Clinton's point. (Except we'd describe a Trump guy punching a 69-year-old, oxygen-tank-toting woman in the face as despicable as well as deplorable.)

We don't know what to say about Trump's bizarre "Dr. Oz" spectacle unless it's to wonder why he doesn't just release his medical records AND his tax returns instead of staging these silly side shows. Also, Hillary's doctor is the real deal while Trump's doc is, um, weird.

Finally, goodness gracious — can it really be almost a year since Canada gave Stephen Harper the boot? Time just races by when your approval ratings skyrocket. And Donald Drumpf, take note: Justin Trudeau is earning high numbers in one of the world's great democracies — not that failed petrostate called Russia that you admire so much. We cats PURR.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

This Ad Is So Good...

...You can't help thinking that Team HRC purposely goaded Trump into it. We cats PURR.

Monday, September 12, 2016

Basket Case

By Miss Kubelik

We cats are wondering why, of all the gin joints in all the towns in North Carolina, Donald Drumpf picked Asheville today. It's a total Leftyville! Oh, well — far be it for us to give his schedulers any political advice, right?

But here's the big question: Why do we never see people at Hillary rallies behaving in such a — shall we say, deplorable way? Our folks don't push, punch, shove or verbally abuse. They believe in being "Stronger Together." Gee — could it be the quality of our candidate?

Meanwhile, somebody better warn that Trumpy guy's wife: He's coming home in a fightin' mood. We cats HISS.

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Toughing It Out

By Zamboni

We cats dearly hope that the Trumpsters, especially that nutcase Rudy Giuliani, go nuclear on Hillary Clinton's recent diagnosis of pneumonia. Because some Republicans are worried that they will. One nameless operative told POLITICO that Trump "needs to be very careful and sensitive, and not reinforce the worst things people think about him, which is that he’s an asshole."

Oh, please, Donald — reinforce away!

That's because when we heard today that Clinton, newly diagnosed and on antibiotics, had gamely turned out for a memorial commemorating one of the most significant episodes in her tenure as a New York Senator, we couldn't help thinking of all the women across America who have ever gone to work feeling not quite up to par.

For example, how many waitresses, factory workers, customer service reps, clerks and cashiers, crossing guards, baristas, ticket agents — fill in your favorite low-wage, female-dominated position here — have shown up at their jobs suffering from colds, menstrual cramps, muscle aches or morning sickness, because they needed the money, or there was no one to watch their kids, or they were afraid they'd get fired? And then gone home to mind the children, fix dinner and/or clean house?

Millions if not zillions, right? Which means that's millions and zillions of women who will not appreciate Trump, Giuliani and the rest the alt-right calling Secretary Clinton "weak," "old" or even hospice-appropriate. (We kid you not, that last one really happened on the Twitter machine. And then the coward took the tweet down.)

Sorry, boys: Girls deal with crap every day that you can't even imagine. So go ahead, mock Clinton for feeling she couldn't pass up the 9/11 memorial. You'll just piss off a lot of American women who have ever forced themselves to slog through a day because they didn't have affordable healthcare or child care, a higher minimum wage, educational opportunities and all the other quality-of-life, safety-net benefits that you Republicans are so against. We cats HISS.

Saturday, September 10, 2016

Yep, Pretty Deplorable.

Pre-Lauer, Post-Lauer

By Baxter

We cats seem to remember that Hillary Clinton gave a full speech in Reno, Nevada, some weeks back about the alt-right and how the Trump campaign has brought a bunch of haters into the Republican mainstream. So we're not really surprised at her "basket of deplorables" comment that the Trumpsters are trying to make such hay over.

Just to be clear, in the same remarks, Secretary Clinton also said this:

"But the other basket... are people who feel that the government has let them down, the economy has let them down, nobody cares about them, nobody worries about what happens to their lives and their futures — they're just desperate for change. Those are people we have to understand and empathize with as well."

You know, we've felt for years that if people would just set aside the decades of demonizing that the GOP and the right wing have inflicted on Hillary Clinton and just listen to what she has to say — like the full text of her "baskets" remarks — these so-called high-negative ratings that she allegedly has would cease. Of course, that means that the media will have to stop buying into lazy narratives, cover stories like the Colin Powell email exonerating Clinton on her private server, and hold Donald Trump to account for his inadequate knowledge and zillions of lies.

Will it happen? We are hopeful. This week's Matt Lauer fiasco has put extra pressure, we think, on the Presidential debate moderators to do their jobs — whatever Chris Wallace says his is or isn't — as well as on the mainstream media. The Washington Post and The New York Times — both opinion drivers — have declared that, in light of Lauer letting Trump skate while he grilled Clinton, enough was enough.

"Mrs. Clinton answered the questions of the moderator, Matt Lauer, in coherent sentences, often with specific details," said the Times. "Mr. Trump alternated between rambling statements and grandiose boasts when he wasn't lying."

"Imagine how history would judge today’s Americans if, looking back at this election, the record showed that voters empowered a dangerous man because of . . . a minor email scandal," the Post stated. "There is no equivalence between Ms. Clinton’s wrongs and Mr. Trump’s manifest unfitness for office."

(So, okay — the flip side is the idea that everyone is supposed to hate the media and if they go after Trump on his idiocies, that will actually help him. But when have various media crusades against the Clintons ever redounded to their benefit? We think, never.)

In the past, it would have taken days or a week for Clinton's full "baskets" remarks to surface as a correction to Trump. Now, it's taken just a few hours. Call us somewhat optimistic. We cats PURR.

Thursday, September 8, 2016

For Better Or For Worse: Let's Establish The Dr. Judith Steinberg Rule

By Sniffles

We cats are old enough to remember the days when the media started freaking out about the fact that Dr. Judith Steinberg didn't hit the campaign trail in 2004 with her husband, Democratic Presidential candidate Howard Dean.

Eventually, Dr. Steinberg was forced to submit to Diane Sawyer interviews and all the other crap that political spouses — unless they're Bill Clinton — despise. Poor Judy: All she wanted to do was to take care of folks who visited her medical practice in Shelburne, Vermont. But the realities of Presidential politics intruded, didn't they? We cats think she handled it all with superior grace — after which she retreated to her first love, providing healthcare to people who needed it.

Dr. Steinberg's experience has made us cats all the more aware of the fact that political spouse Melania Trump has gotten off, more or less, scot-free. Until now — maybe.

Finally, finally, someone in the mainstream media has noticed how invisible Melania has been since her star-crossed convention appearance in July — despite questions about her immigration to the US. Melania's press conference about her immigration experience? Promised, not delivered. Explanations about discrepancies in her bio? Un-illuminated. Allegations about having worked as an escort? Un-refuted.

We cats think that whatever political spouses have to suffer on the Democratic side, they should endure in GOP world. So Melania earns no special exceptions. Therefore: When will she submit to the Sawyer-like grilling that Dr. Judith Steinberg — let alone Hillary Clinton and all the other partners in American political history — have endured?

Let's now, and forever more, establish The Dr. Judith Steinberg Rule: Political Spouses Must Answer For Everything. If Judy had to do it, so does Melania. We cats HISS if that doesn't happen.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Obama LOLZ Edition

By Miss Kubelik

Gosh, there is so much to comment on in the political world today that we cats are suffering from a serious case of sensory overload. But President Obama's infectious-laugh reaction to Donald Drumpf's latest attacks is a good place to start. And here are some other stories that have caught our attention between naps.

Nine. No, we're not talking about the Broadway musical revival with Antonio Banderas (whom we love) — it's the number of outrageous comments that Drumpf made in 24 minutes with the execrable Matt Lauer last night. What's encouraging is that, despite Lauer's obvious failures to call Drumpf out, the mainstream media are not hesitating to do so today. We can only assume (and hope) that the Lauer fiasco will further embolden at least three of the four moderators in the 2016 Presidential debates.

Pundit World is abuzz about Gary Johnson's "Aleppo" gaffe. We find Johnson's error inexplicable since, thanks to this photo, the Syrian city has been on everyone's lips for weeks. But it just goes to show you that these days, Republicans are simply amateurs at this stuff. (Johnson was the GOP Governor of New Mexico before he became a "Libertarian.")

Meanwhile, after Johnson's screw-up on Syria, and Drumpf's lusting after Vladimir Putin last night, we're rapidly reaching the point where the dominant question in the Republican Presidential race for 2020 will be: "Who'dya vote for in 2016?" — knowing, of course, that there's no good answer that won't alienate at least a third of the Republican primary electorate. (PS: Assuming he holds his Senate seat this year, we predict that Baby Marco Rubio will not hit a home run on that question the first time he's asked about it in a December 2018 Presidential debate.)

At the same time, we think that the media don't fully appreciate the impact that Drumpf's adoration of Putin will have on the Jewish vote and the Russian-emigre vote, let alone the vote by the national-security geeks. Honestly, every time Drumpf opens his mouth, he pisses off another group of 10,000 or so voters.

The Drumpf campaign has reported $90 million for their August fundraising totals. As we cats have pointed out, they have a long way to go to catch up to Hillary Clinton in the money race. But at the very least, $90 million means it'll be a good September for the various Trump properties that host events and/or lease campaign office space. Way to churn those bucks back into your coffers, Donald!

Finally, because we cats are fair and balanced, we congratulate Congresswoman Martha McSally (R-AZ) for successfully leading the charge to allow Women Airforce Service Pilots to be buried in Arlington National Cemetery.

We were privileged to know one of the thousand-plus women who performed the crucial non-combat roles of ferrying aircraft during World War II. If she were with us today, Kaddy surely would have had some choice words about the fact that it took more than 30 years for the WASPs to receive military benefits (thank you, Jimmy Carter), and 40 more after that to confer burials at Arlington — but she'd probably be smiling at today's news, too. We cats PURR.

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

What Does A President Look Like?

By Zamboni

Donald Drumpf says that Hillary Clinton doesn't look like a President. Check this out from The New York Times:

"'Well, I just don’t think she has a Presidential look, and you need a Presidential look,' Mr. Trump told ABC’s David Muir in an interview broadcast on Tuesday. That echoed a remark he made Monday, when, speaking to a small group of mostly men in Cleveland, Mr. Trump asked skeptically, 'And she looks Presidential, fellows?'"

We agree that no President of the United States has ever looked like Hillary Clinton. And we think it's about damn time that a President did. We cats PURR.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Brilliant To The Max

We cats are very impressed with Hillary Clinton's hard-hitting new ad about Donald Drumpf and veterans, "Sacrifice." The inclusion of former Senator Max Cleland of Georgia — a triple-amputee Vietnam vet who the Republicans defeated for re-election in 2002 by tying him to Osama bin Laden — is a nice touch.

Monday, September 5, 2016

Sometimes, Ya Gotta Wonder

By Baxter

Should atheists repent? There might be a God after all. First because Antonin Scalia died in February, and since then — thanks to the GOP's refusal to confirm a new Supreme Court justice — a slew of unconstitutional laws enacted by Republicans to restrict voting rights have been shelved. And now, far-right nutcase and all-around hater Phyllis Schlafly has checked out, too — but not before seeing A) gays get the right to marry nationwide, and B) her party destroyed by Donald Trump. (Of course, she would have voted for him anyway.)

Gosh, what did we do to deserve such wonderfulness? We cats PURR.

What Little Donnie Will Do — The Sequel

By Sniffles

Chris Wallace, a so-called "journalist" from FOX "News" (sorry, even the son of Mike Wallace is "so-called," since he works for FOX), says that he won't fact-check the candidates in real time during the Presidential debate he's moderating this fall.

Which means that if Donald Drumpf tries to claim that there are two million "criminal aliens" in the US (there aren't), Wallace, unlike before, won't move to correct him.

Call us cats skeptical.

First, Wallace is scheduled to moderate the last debate, not either of the first two. Lester Holt kicks off the festivities on September 26. Holt will set the tone, and he's challenged Drumpf aggressively in the past. If Anderson Cooper and Martha Raddatz — neither of whom are shy and retiring — follow suit, Wallace will look like an idiot. (Or more of an idiot than he already is.)

Second, who says there will be any Presidential debates? Hillary Clinton jumped on board weeks ago, but Drumpf still hasn't agreed to do them, saying, "I'll have to see who the moderators are." Well, now he has, and there's — silence. We still think the chances that Drumpf chickens out of one or more of the debates falls somewhere between 50 and 75 percent. We cats HISS.

UPDATE: Obviously, our trenchant blog post smoked Drumpf out. Today he rushed to say of the debates, "I expect to do all three." Well, he probably expects to tweet like a fool tonight, and eventually get out of bed tomorrow morning. So we cats will believe it when we see it. In the meantime, we guess that a raptor swooping down and stealing that dead animal off the top of his head would qualify as a "natural disaster."

Sunday, September 4, 2016

State Of The Race

By Miss Kubelik

Happy Labor Day Weekend. We cats are using the holiday to take stock of where the 2016 campaign for President stands, and we have to say, things aren't looking too shabby.

That's because when you dig down into the state-by-state details (as they no doubt do on the hour, every hour, in Brooklyn), you see some pretty encouraging developments. Such as:

The following states appear to be completely off Donald Drumpf's electoral map: New Hampshire, Virginia and Colorado. (Note to Trump-Pence: Do not assume that means that we in the Old Dominion are going to get overconfident and not turn our voters).

Drumpf has failed to put these states on his map — despite the fact that he guaranteed he would: Connecticut, New Jersey, New York, California, Washington, Oregon and Illinois.

Drumpf has also been unsuccessful at putting Minnesota and Michigan in play as part of his famous "Rust Belt strategy."

Pennsylvania is probably off the map for him, too.

Drumpf is actually at risk of losing — drum roll, please — South Carolina, Georgia, Indiana, Missouri, Kansas, Arizona and, incredibly, Utah. So, yes: These states are probably the stuff that Democratic dreams are made of. But Drumpf is playing defense in all of them, so he'll have to spend money in them.

And speaking of money, Drumpf's August 31 report would have to show that he raised $170 million to $180 million just to catch up to Hillary. (Catch her, not pass her.) Will he do it? They haven't released their numbers yet, but somehow, we doubt it.

Let's be fair and admit that Drumpf has succeeded in keeping Florida, Ohio, Iowa, Nevada and Maine-2 competitive. Heckuva job, Donnie!

And we haven't even mentioned the ground game yet. We cats PURR.

Friday, September 2, 2016

Laughing All The Way To The Bank

By Zamboni

Donald Drumpf loves to claim that Hillary Clinton sleeps a lot. Maybe that's because he seems to spend the wee small hours on the Twitter machine, and thinks that that's a strength. We don't agree. All we know is, we sleep about 16 hours a day, and there's nothing wrong with us.

But now we know for sure that Secretary Clinton didn't get a lot of shut-eye last month. That's because she raised an eye-popping $143 million in August — $62 million for her campaign, and $81 million for the DNC and state Democratic parties — more than President Obama himself raised at this point back in 2012. Wow!

She said she would spend the afterglow of the Democrats' terrific convention raising money. And gosh, did she. That's not the kind of thing you can do when you're sleeping all the time. Meanwhile, Team Trump still has to release their fundraising numbers — when they're not fighting with the RNC about who's spending how much on what. We cats PURR.

Thursday, September 1, 2016

Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Huddled Masses Yearning To Breathe Free

By Baxter

Before Donald Drumpf went to Mexico yesterday, we cats thought the following: There was a 25 percent chance that it would go well for him, a 50 percent chance that it would blow up in his face, and a 25 percent chance that it would end up mattering not one bit.

We're thinking that it was a combination of the last two — with an accent on "blow up in his face."

Call us crazy, but we don't get how yesterday's publicity stunts helped Team Trump-Pence. Everybody is pissed off: Mexicans, Hispanic Republicans, and, of course, anybody with a brain. Nobody seems to know what to make of it all. And we think that in addition to the high-profile erstwhile supporters who have peeled off as a result, it will probably cost Trump a few thousand votes in several key districts and states. It did nothing to build out his support beyond his base, and it did nothing to convince the already-committed Hillary voters to change their minds.

As for the President of Mexico, it appears that once again, Howard Dean was right: "You cannot have 'a meeting' with Donald Trump and emerge from it with any dignity." Mexicans are, let's just say, not pleased with Enrique Pena Nieto. "How can someone bring a person to his house who has insulted them so gravely?" We don't blame them. We cats PURR.

Kellyanne Wrongway

By Sniffles

Ever since Kellyanne Conway was hired as campaign manager for the Trump-Pence operation, we cats have been waiting for her to whip its sorry butt into shape organizationally. After all, that's what true campaign managers do — even if they've only ever been pollsters in their previous lives.

But now we're convinced about what we suspected before: Conway has no clue how to run a campaign, and, in fact, that's not what she was hired for.

Trump has no interest in the ground game. He just brought Blondie on to translate his messages to normal people on cable TV and elsewhere, and try to make them palatable.

How do we know? One small — or maybe not small — example: Nearly a month ago, the Trump campaign swore it would open 24 field offices in the all-important swing state of Florida. How many of those are open for business today? Zero. (They're coming, they're coming, insists a Trump spokesperson. Cross her heart and hope to die.)

Hm. Not only does it look like the Trumpsters are going to depend on the RNC and on "county CEOs" to bail out their Florida operation, but we can't imagine that a real campaign manager would allow so many weeks to pass without those headquarters setting up shop. But maybe the fact that Trump only has 50 battleground-state field offices to Hillary Clinton's 200-plus doesn't bother her.

We cats say, fine with us. Let the Trumpsters lazily bring up the rear when it comes to the ground game. Because this campaign is going to be won in Florida, and Pennsylvania, and Michigan, and North Carolina, and Nevada, and — well, you know how the rest of it goes. We cats PURR.

(PHOTO: The 2012 GOP field office operation wasn't so hot, either.)