We cats have reviewed the results of the always-amusing CPAC straw poll. The headlines boil down to this: Rand Paul wins (again), with Scott Walker (oooh!) breathing down his neck. Want a little taste of sanity? Here is our Democratic take on all the right-wing silliness.
THE KIND-OF WINNERS:
- Rand Paul (25.7%): As usual, the Paulies packed the joint. So the "dog bites man" headlines don't hurt, but don't help.
- Ted Cruz (11.5%) and Ben Carson (11.4%): Tied for third, hm. Their results are "meh," but on the positive side of "meh."
- Donald Trump (3.5%): Kinda surprising, but in a good way — for Trump.
- Rick Santorum (4.3%): Better than last time for ol' Ricky-Ticky. Amazing to us cats, since so many of the CPACkers are young'uns. Don't they believe in birth control?
- Jeb! Bush (8.3%): If they didn't boo him out of the room, which they didn't, he should have placed better than fifth.
- Marco Rubio (3.7%): See Jeb! Bush, above. They just won't forgive him for immigration, will they?
- Carly Fiorina (3.0%): Exhibit A on the perils of raising expectations.
- Chris Christie (2.8%): Oh, please.
- Rick Perry (1.1%) and Bobby Jindal (0.9%): How embarrassing.