Tuesday, September 30, 2008

This is What It's All About, Folks

Do you want more of the same — or a change?

That Old Familiar Feeling

By Sniffles

Some of our feline friends were out and about this morning in the Sunshine State, engaging in a bit of "honk n' wave" in a heavily Latin area of Miami. (Yes, cats can do visibility, even though it's a little difficult to hold an Obama sign without opposable thumbs. We also want to add that at one point we were joined by a very cute little dog wearing an Obama button on his collar.)

Anyway — while we realize that our experience was totally anecdotal — we must say: It feels an awful lot like 1992 out there.

It's not just that folks were beeping, smiling, and signaling "thumbs-up" to us over the sign-waving McCain people by a ratio of about six to one. Which they were.

It was who was doing it.

It was all kinds of people: They were young, old, black, white, Hispanic, women, men. They were middle-aged professionals in suits and young office workers in open-collared shirts. They were older Cuban guys in guyabaras and beautifully dressed Latin ladies in flowered shifts. They were moms with kids in the back seat, garbage collectors in their big trucks, bus drivers, El Dorado furniture deliverymen, health care workers in scrubs, lunch wagon drivers, and guys pulling U-Hauls filled with gardening tools. And they were all happy and smiling and excited about Obama-Biden.

Yes, we know. It was a tiny snapshot in time, an hour out of a single day. But we haven't seen this kind of crossover appeal in South Florida since Clinton-Gore.

The fact that there's another hapless Bush in the White House is, we assume, pure coincidence. Or not.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Oh — Goody — Again.

By Baxter

George W. Bush is going to speak to the nation tomorrow morning. At 7:45! Gee, nobody's busy eating breakfast, taking their kids to school, or going to work at that time, right?

Get ready for another awful day. After all, we started today with some Presidential remarks, and look what happened.

The only thing that stuns us cats more than the bad behavior of the Republicans and their hapless nominees, John McCain and Sarah Palin, is the supreme irrelevancy of the current Republican President. What do you do when your own base doesn't even listen to you?

We know. You wander out to a Munchkin-sized lectern on the White House grounds and you haltingly read a few meaningless platitudes that your staff wrote for you, stumbling over a few words while you do it. The American people would be terrified by all this if they still bothered to pay you any mind.

What a legacy. An ignored PDB, the loss of the World Trade Center and 3,000 lives, a failed mission in Afghanistan, Bin Laden walking free, the illegal invasion of a country that didn't attack us, the deaths of more than 4,000 soldiers, an emboldened Iran, North Korea back in the nukes business, the total politicization of the Justice Department, the dismantling of the Bill of Rights, two new right-wing morons on the Supreme Court, a drowned American city, a world that hates us, and now, the destruction of the global economy.

We're sure we've left something out, but Bush's disaster list is way too long, even for those of us with nine lives.

The Republicans Are Revolting

By Zamboni

And yes, we mean that both ways, obviously.

You know, if this whole sorry bailout episode doesn't completely, utterly illustrate the incontrovertible fact that Republicans don't know how to govern, we cats don't know what does.

It was THEIR Treasury Secretary and Fed Chair who came to Congress and said it was an emergency. It was THEIR President who begged, "Please, please pass this legislation." And perhaps most important of all — because he wants to be entrusted with all our futures — it was THEIR nominee for President who horned in on the whole process and, incredibly, took credit for it on the campaign trail this morning, criticizing Senator Obama for his measured response.

McCain took credit for it before his fellow Republicans killed it. That's a good one.

We cats are also not amused at the House Republicans' claim that Speaker Pelosi hurt their feelings with some tough political rhetoric. We agree with Congressman Frank: They're trying to cover up for the fact that they couldn't control their votes.

Well, they can try to blame Speaker Pelosi — but if we attempt to use our credit card tomorrow and can't, we'll know who's really at fault.


Do It for Anna Jane

And get a great corn pudding recipe!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Speaking of Demeanor....

We cats don't approve of vulgar language like this, especially on national T.V. when children might be watching. Will Senator McCain's 95-year-old mother wash his mouth out with soap?

Winning the Demeanor War

By Sniffles

We cats are curled up on our favorite chair this afternoon, quietly thinking some more about last night's debate and being reminded of the legendary Kennedy-Nixon face-off which, curiously enough, took place on the same date 48 years ago.

And no, we're not reminded of the 1960 meeting solely because Senator Obama had the better suit and tie — or because Senator McCain looked pasty-ghostly next to him. (And of course we realize that while President Kennedy had to sit under a sunlamp to get his tan, Senator Obama didn't.)

No, we're thinking of Kennedy-Nixon because Senator Obama had much the same task last night that JFK had so long ago: Help viewers who didn't know him see him as a potential President.

We cats are admittedly biased, but we think he succeeded. Why? Because of the very things that ardent Democrats are complaining about this morning: Too much agreeing with McCain on stuff, too much graciousness, not enough Stickin' It To Him When He Lies and Distorts.

Actually, we think Senator Obama did stick it to Senator McCain last night. On a whole bunch of things, but especially when he recited the litany of instances in which McCain was wrong. But he wasn't talking to us — we're already voting for him. He was talking to folks who hadn't yet made up their minds. That's why it was so important that overall, Senator Obama's demeanor be gracious, dignified, substantive, intelligent and — yes — Presidential.

How ironic that it was, since McCain campaign manager Rick Davis himself said that the election would turn not on issues but on how the candidates presented themselves.

There are different kinds of political genius. JFK's was cool and measured, Bill Clinton's is "I feel your pain" warm and fuzzy. Senator Obama is definitely a descendant of JFK. It's been so many years since we've seen something like that, we've forgotten what it's like — and how much it can matter in perilous times. And since we've had so much drama the last few weeks, maybe an exhausted, worried America will prefer cool and measured. We'll see.

"Now I Know I Have a Heart, Because It's Breaking"

(Our favorite of his many wonderful films is, of course, "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.")

Friday, September 26, 2008

Early Thoughts on the Debate

By Zamboni

We really hope that the next President can correctly pronounce the name "Ahmadinejad."

We also really hope that unlike Senator McCain, the next President can pick the right kind of tie to wear on T.V. "Moray eel effect," anyone?

Somebody should have told Senator McCain that Senator Kennedy was already out of the hospital.

We don't understand how Senator McCain is going to effectively deal with foreign leaders when he wouldn't even look Senator Obama in the eye.

The media's newfound lack of McCain love was on display — at least on CNN — as it became apparent that Sarah Palin had turned Wolf Blitzer down on a post-debate interview (Joe Biden appeared by satellite from Milwaukee). When Blitzer said he wished he could talk to John McCain's running mate as well, Anderson Cooper said, "Yeah, don't hold your breath on that one."

Off to bed.

(Photo: Getty Images)

Stranger than Strangelove

By Baxter

Seeking to decipher the conduct of the McCain campaign these last 72 hours, we cats have received some excellent advice. "It's useless to try to explain the behavior of irrational people."

That's definitely true. What bothers us, though, is that these same irrational people are asking American voters to put their fingers on the nuclear button.

We don't know about you, but we'd sure rather have the guy who kept his cool this week — instead of an ultimatum-issuing old fraud who raced around like a chicken and (apparently unsuccessfully) tried to score political points from a national crisis. The fact that this man is backed up by a scripted wacko who makes George W. Bush look erudite is even more unsettling.

Memo to Senator McCain: Please stop. Halloween isn't even here yet, but you're scaring us already.

Dan Quayle's Looking Mighty Good Just Now

"As Putin rears his head and comes into the airspace of the United States of America, where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there, they are right next to our state."

—Sarah Palin, explaining to Katie Couric why it's so important that she can see Russia from her house

(Image: www.boingboing.net)

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Walking and Chewing Gum

“It is the honor of my life to represent you as your Governor, and over the next two months I will continue to do so. As the mother of five, I know how to multi-task, and I will continue to promote the path of reform that we set out on together in the state of Alaska.”

—Sarah Palin's official statement to Alaskans on becoming John McCain's running mate, August 29, 2008

"It's my belief that this is exactly the time when the American people need to hear from the person who, in approximately 40 days, will be responsible for dealing with this mess. It's going to be part of the President's job to deal with more than one thing at once."

—Senator Obama, answering John McCain's call to delay the first Presidential debate, September 24, 2008

Moose in the Headlights

Is the campaign over? In a just world, it would be.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

CAT-apulted into Disaster

By Sniffles

We cats think that John McCain made a serious strategic error today.

Why would he think that American voters would not want the Presidential debates to continue as scheduled?

It's a dodge. A ploy. A cynical manipulation of people's natural concern over the Wall Street situation.

Senator McCain has boxed himself in. He can't pretend to be concerned about the welfare of the American people and, at the same time, dodge their questions on how he would govern this mess if he were elected.

Except — being a Republican, he's going to try. Because Republicans have been in charge for the last eight years.

We cats SNARL at this tactic. It is unworthy of the American voter.

Oh — Goody.

By Zamboni

NOW we understand why Senator McCain wanted to create a media flurry today.

George W. Bush is addressing the nation tonight.

Good God! Don't remind people that the Republicans have been in charge for the last eight years! Don't jog voters' memories that Bush is still President!

Too late, Senator McCain — too late.

No Time Like the Present

"With respect to the debates, it's my belief that this is exactly the time when the American people need to hear from the person who, in approximately 40 days, will be responsible for dealing with this mess. And I think that it is going to be part of the President's job to deal with more than one thing at once.

"I think there's no reason why we can't be constructive in helping to solve this problem and also tell the American people what we believe and where we stand... So, in my mind, actually, it's more important than ever that we present ourselves to the American people and try to describe where we want to take the country and where we want to take the economy."

—Senator Obama, Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Fraidy Cat

By Baxter

Why do we think John McCain looked at this morning's Washington Post-ABC News national poll and decided he desperately needed another game-changer?

It seems like every time Senator Obama gets some sort of upper hand — in this case, a clear lead of nine percentage points — McCain tries to change the conversation. Today, he's pretending that he really, really cares about the economy more than his opponent does.

We cats think that instead, Senator McCain knew he was falling perhaps irretrievably behind, and that a potentially not-great performance on Friday night could have ended it all.

Senator Obama says that this morning, he discussed issuing a joint statement with Senator McCain on the Wall Street crisis, and that in the course of their conversation McCain proposed delaying their first debate — but that there was no decision. And then, McCain turned around and made his announcement.

We cats HISS at that. Senator Obama is right: The American people — or at least, all 100 million of them who are expected to tune in — deserve to hear from the two people who are fighting to inherit this terrible national problem.

We think it is despicable of Senator McCain to not only play politics with this issue, but to take a chance that the drama of his announcement could affect the markets.

"Country first"? Like hell.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Matt Lauer is an Idiot (and he isn't even cute)

By Sniffles

Our designated watcher of the insipid "Today" show reports to us that this morning, host Matt Lauer superbly demonstrated his limited grasp of politics, the English language and reality.

Discussing the most recent NBC Presidential poll in Florida, Mr. Lauer noted that John McCain had consistently enjoyed a 5-to-8-point lead in the Sunshine State all summer. Then he said that the new NBC poll showed that the Florida race had “tightened considerably.”

What did the poll show? That Senator Obama now is leading in Florida by 47 percent to 45 percent.

We cats would call that more than "tightened considerably." We'd call that a 7-to-10-point swing. And in a state that was falsely decided by 537 votes eight years ago, we'd call a swing like that a little more than "considerable."

Perhaps Mr. Lauer supports John McCain, and when he saw the poll a certain portion of his anatomy "tightened considerably."

We don't really care to think about that. But we GROWL at his stupidity, and we wonder why in the world someone like him makes so much money.

Oh, To Be in the Gee O Pee

By Zamboni

We cats wonder how it feels to be a Republican these days.

What a comedown it must be, after that euphoric rush they enjoyed from the Palin nomination. Now, they're facing the hard fact that their "MBA President" has ruined the country financially as well as in every other way — and there will be dire consequences, on November 4 and beyond.

As if that weren't bad enough, the Administration's desperate bailout plan — which they insist must be enacted immediately to forestall a global economic meltdown — looks like the Second Coming of the New Deal. Even the Prince of Darkness, Dick Cheney himself, couldn't sell it to House Republicans this morning. (Republicans, don'tcha know, have a basic aversion to government interference in the private sector.)

All this irony would be supremely amusing were we not so concerned about what the Bushies have done to the country and our lives. But we'll take a small moment of schadenfreude and PURR while we contemplate the Republicans' state of mind.

Socialism is looming, and they have no one to blame but themselves.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Men, Seniors Flip to Obama

By Baxter

The economic turmoil appears to be taking a political toll — as it should. A new CNN poll shows Senator Obama with a five-point lead over Senator McCain in the Presidential election.

The biggest gains, according to CNN political analyst Bill Schneider, are among seniors and men.

Gee. Do we think this means that voters care more about their pocketbooks and their children's future than they do about eyeglasses, hairdos and lipstick on pigs? Can't say we blame them.

McCain campaign manager Rick Davis — you know, that guy who made $30,000 a month as a lobbyist — said a few weeks back that the election wouldn't be about issues. We cats say, he couldn't have been more wrong. And the polls are bearing us out.

Rick Davis doesn't know what it's like to face bills he can't pay. And neither does his boss, beer-heiress-spouse John McCain.

Necesito Obama.

It's Confirmed: Bush Is the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived

By Sniffles

We cats remember with a peculiar nostalgia the Reagan Administration, when we were outraged that the President broke a major union (the air-traffic controllers), killed The Fairness Doctrine, sold arms to Iran, and reversed a bunch of environmental decisions that mattered a whole lot.

We recall friends and family declaring, "Reagan has wrecked the country!"

Oh, what halcyon days those seem now. How innocent and happy they appear after eight years of George W. Bush.

Is there no doubt, after the recent economic events, that George W. Bush has sealed his fate as The Worst Ever? Bush has presided over the most horrific attack on U.S. soil (after receiving a PDB warning him that it was going to happen), an unprecedented attack on the Constitution, an illegal invasion of a sovereign nation that did not threaten us, the most precipitous decline in the United States' reputation abroad, the total destruction of an American city after a natural disaster, and — now — the worst financial crisis since The Great Depression.

To us cats, electing another Republican administration after this debacle would be like being forced to marry our rapist.

Something to Fear Besides Fear

"The era of greed and irresponsibility on Wall Street and in Washington has led us to a perilous moment. They said they wanted to let the market run free — but instead, they let it run wild, and in doing so, they trampled our core values of fairness, balance and responsibility to one another. As a result, we are facing a financial crisis as profound as any we have faced since the Great Depression. As a result, your jobs, your savings and your economic security are now at risk ...

"We did not arrive at this moment by some accident of history. We are in this mess because of a bankrupt philosophy that says we should give more and more to those with the most and hope that prosperity trickles down to the rest of us. We’re here because for too long, the doors of Washington have been thrown open to an army of lobbyists and special interests who’ve turned our government into a game only they can afford to play — who have shredded consumer protections, fought against common-sense regulations and rules of the road, and distorted our economy so that it works for them instead of you ...

"Green Bay, enough is enough."

—Senator Obama, Green Bay, Wisconsin, September 22, 2008

Black September

By Zamboni

No, we're not referring to the group that murdered the Israeli Olympic team in 1972. But we still feel terrorized.

The $700 billion figure that Treasury Secretary Paulson is tossing around to rescue the U.S. financial system is apparently... just a guess. Nobody really knows how much the debacle ultimately will cost.

The thought that there may be billions more lurking under the rocks that the government picks up makes us cats want to dash under the bed and stay there all day. Heck, all week.

And while we're on the subject, there are a couple other things that are really, really, really bothering us.

First, why do we get the awful feeling that the Bush Administration is making a power grab just like the one they made after September 11, 2001? Under the excuse of speed, Paulson is asking for near-dictatorial powers and no oversight. We cats GROWL at that idea. Even Republicans like John "Eyeliner Man" Boehner are objecting.

Second, why do we feel like hurling a hairball every time we hear John McCain violently expectorating on the campaign trail?

We cats know that this crisis is directly related to Senator McCain's gross incompetence as Chair of the Senate Commerce Committee, during which he blindly worshiped at the altar of deregulation. It is further complicated by McCain's obeisance to Phil Gramm, who, of course, bears more responsibility than any other Senator, past and present, for this unregulated mess.

Last but not least, Senator McCain's faux outrage at Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae is a repugnant, dishonorable smokescreen thrown up by a repugnant, dishonorable campaign. As The New York Times reports today, McCain's campaign manager, Rick Davis, was paid $30,000 a month to lobby against stricter regulations for the two companies.

Boy, there are a lot of homeowners in trouble who could use money like that.

We're starting to feel ill. But here's the good news: We get to fire all these bastards on Nov. 4. Let's do it.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

"I Can See Russia From My House!"

By Baxter

It's time to confess: We cats have always had a soft spot for Senator Chuck Hagel. We've harbored fantasies of curling up and purring in his lap. Yes, we know, he's a Republican. But he's so darned attractive.

And now we know our secret admiration is justified. Senator Hagel came out the other day and just flat-out said what we suspect a ton of other, far-less-courageous Republicans — Mitt Romney? Mike Huckabee? Sam Brownback? Jeb Bush? Rudolf Giuliani? — must be thinking.

“I think it's a stretch to, in any way, to say that [Sarah Palin's] got the experience to be President of the United States. She doesn't have any foreign policy credentials. You get a passport for the first time in your life last year? I think they ought to be just honest about it and stop the nonsense about, 'I look out my window and I see Russia and so therefore I know something about Russia.’ That kind of thing is insulting to the American people.”

Of course, we allow that Senator Hagel has the luxury of boldness because he's not seeking re-election. By contrast, the above-listed gentlemen — and we use that term advisedly — surely are all still planning to run for President and are probably furious that Senator McCain elevated an empty-headed, fanatical nobody to inherit the party mantle should he lose.

Oh, well, that's their problem. In the meantime, we PURR at Senator Hagel and look forward to a possible role for him in an Obama-Biden Administration. Paws crossed.

(Image: www.hagel.senate.gov)

Friday, September 19, 2008

Necesito Obama

By Sniffles

We cats were out registering newly sworn-in American citizens to vote this morning. We won't say where, except that we're in a major battleground state. Oh, and the one that Senator Obama visited today.

Although it was hard, lugging around that clipboard in our paws (we don't have any thumbs, you see), it was a vastly rewarding experience. And strangely touching. The folks signing up, clutching their certificates of citizenship and their small American flags, were so thrilled to be asked the first question on the form: "Are you a citizen of the United States?"

But what made us cats PURR the most was the enthusiasm of these new fellow Americans. They were from many different countries: Cuba, Haiti, Honduras, Ecuador, Guatemala, Venezuela. They knew that they were registering to vote in a very, very important election. And they registered as Democrats (even the Cubans!).

Okay, McCain volunteers were there, too, and we're sure they signed up a few Republicans. But we cats were struck by the diversity of the crowd and how the old factions from the past seemed to have melted away. We registered men and women, black and brown, young and old — and we knew we were looking at the future of the country.

Si se puede! Time for a nap.

(Photo: Lynne Sladky, AP)

Frank's Back!

Who would have thought that the policies of the Bush-Cheney Administration would bring back The New Deal?

Happy days are here again!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

"Typical Republican"

By Zamboni

If we cats could laugh, we'd be completely doubled over every time we hear John McCain say "Change is coming, my friends."

What a crock. This person named McCain has not only been in Washington for 26 years, he's voted with the Bush Administration more than 90 percent of the time.

Not to mention his newfound alliance with the Worst Person Who Ever Lived — a man whose 2000 campaign won in South Carolina by scourging the McCain family.

That must be why all those people in the New York Times poll called McCain a typical Republican. No principles. No change. No way.

"This Just Doesn't Happen Here," Part IV

People are so creative!

Is John McCain a Man? (Part IV)

By Baxter

Nope. Still hiding behind the "hockey mom's" skirts.

We cats were wondering why Senator McCain was wasting his time in Iowa today. Not only is he behind Senator Obama there by double digits, but he and the alleged hockey mom were campaigning together. It made no sense to us cats, deeply familiar as we are with campaign logistics. By appearing separately, running mates can appeal to different constituencies and hit more media markets.

And then we saw this story from The New York Times about the recent McCain trip to Ohio:

"After Governor Palin... riveted the overflow crowd at an airplane hangar here for 16 minutes, it was Mr. McCain’s turn, and people in his audience began murmuring and drifting away midway through a 14-minute speech that was flat and cheerless. When Mr. McCain made his first appearance without Ms. Palin, on Monday morning in Jacksonville, Fla., he faced an arena that was one-quarter full."

We cats can't think of anything to add to that sad little report. So we'll just curl up and take another nap.

"This Just Doesn't Happen Here," Part III

"This Just Doesn't Happen Here," Part II

"This Just Doesn't Happen Here"

By Sniffles

We cats have received an e-mail with some great photos from the recent anti-Palin demonstration in Alaska.

Although the media didn't choose to cover it much, you may have heard that an idea discussed by a small group of women over coffee turned into a huge rally of 1,400-plus men, women and children. "In Anchorage, if you can get 25 people to show up at an event, it's a success," said one of the organizers.

These clearly were folks who refused to be intimidated by the slurs of right-wing talk radio host Eddie Burke, who told his Anchorage audience that the rally attendees were "a bunch of Socialist, baby-killing maggots." Well, when Mr. Burke dropped in on the event to talk to the media, he was quickly surrounded by a couple dozen of those "maggots" who chanted "O-BA-MA" so loudly that he could not be heard.

We cats PURR and rub up against the ankles of the people in these wonderful pictures. Sarah Palin obviously doesn't speak for all Alaskans — although, like the other lies she tells, she claims to.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008


"If this woman is so careless as to conduct state business on a private e-mail account that has been hacked into, what in the world is she going to do when she has access to information that is vital to our national security interests?"

—AndrĂ©e McLeod, the activist who filed a Freedom of Information Act complaint against Sarah Palin, alleging that the Governor was conducting state business on her personal e-mail.

You know, we cats probably are pain-in-the-ass sticklers, but we think all these worthless Republicans should be impeached for this kind of abuse. Particularly the Bushies, who (we have no doubt) are in violation of the Presidential Records Act.

Why be so passionate about this? Simple. We just happen to think that history should be made available to future generations. And we don't even have kids (kittens).

Impeach them! Throw them in jail! Waterboard them! Take away their rights of free movement, their cushy bank accounts, their right to vote! It's the least punishment they deserve for their crimes against the people.

Now that we've gotten that out of our system a little, we cats PURR.

Voters Agree: Palin is a Gimmick

By Zamboni

It's only been a couple of weeks, but the Zeitgeist has caught up to Sarah Palin — and passed her.

Not only is John McCain's running mate the butt of instantly recognizable "SNL" jokes — "I can see Russia from my house!" — but according to a new New York Times/CBS poll, 75 percent of respondents said that Senator McCain picked the unknown Alaska governor as his Vice Presidential nominee as a political stunt — and not because he thought she was qualified to succeed him.

Seventy-five percent! To us cats, that's the polling equivalent of a giant buffet of fresh tuna.

Why do we think that last week's Charlie "Muffin Face" Gibson interview on ABC didn't go over so well in the end?

Why does the Gibson encounter remind us of the first Bush-Gore debate in 2000 — after which initial reviews for President Gore's performance were cautiously good, only to have the narrative change 48 hours later to one claiming that Gore was "too orange" and "sighed too much"?

Sarah Palin might not have been orange, but "In what respect, Charlie?" is surely being printed on Obama-Biden T-shirts as we speak. Not a good sign.

But we digress. The bottom line? Voters know a sales job when they see it. Which is one explanation why the alleged "white female stampede" to McCain was an illusion from the start. And which brings us to our next question.

If the bloom is off Governor Palin's rose after only two weeks, how do the Republicans explain the fact that Senator Obama has managed to sustain his appeal over 20-plus months? Heck, if you count his breakout speech at the 2004 Democratic Convention, he's sustained it over four years — pretty amazing in this round-the-clock media environment.

We cats think we know how he's managed it. It's because there's substance behind the attraction.

Jeez. Anyone in love will tell you that — in a heartbeat.

Feel Like a Whiner?

By Baxter

It's only Wednesday, and it's already a horrible week for Wall Street.

And once folks receive their quarterly 401(k) statements, September could be the cruelest month.

But to John McCain and his economic advisers — remember Phil Gramm? — the fundamentals of the economy are strong. If you don't believe that, you're in a "mental recession" and a "whiner."

We cats are wondering how many voters, battered by these economic storms, will feel like voting Republican come November. After all, most of us aren't married to beer heiresses with bank accounts in the hundreds of millions of dollars.

But John McCain is.

And Phil "Nation of Whiners" Gramm is his chief economic adviser.

Time for a change? We cats think so. Because otherwise, we'll all have egg on our faces.

How Out of Touch Can You Get?

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

A Piece of History

By Sniffles

Here's a shameless piece of advertising for any Democrat who cares about the party and the future. We offer it in a true, pro-Obama, pro-Clinton spirit.

Help Senator Clinton retire her campaign debt and receive a DVD of her and President Clinton's fabulous speeches at the Democratic Convention.

We cats have ordered our copy. Here's how to get yours.

Visit www.hillaryclinton.com and contribute $50. That's it. Except, of course, with a gift of $250 or more, you can get a copy personally signed by Hillary.

We cats think this is a great promotion — because 2008 is going to be a great Democratic year.

Cherish your memories of it with a DVD of the Clintons' wonderful speeches. (Is there any other kind?)

Guilty, Guilty!

By Zamboni

Did you know that the Obama campaign runs the state of Alaska? That's okay, we didn't either. But according to the folks handling Sarah Palin's defense in her ever-growing Troopergate scandal, it does.

Desperately trying to squash a perfectly legitimate abuse-of-power investigation — one that originated with unanimous approval by the four Democrats and eight (count 'em) eight Republicans on the Alaska Legislative Council — the Palin crowd has accused "Obama operatives" of "hijacking" the process.


Where did Senator Obama — running for President these last 20 months — find the time to so effectively infiltrate the government of a state that's long been locked up by the GOP? How did he manage to orchestrate a diabolically fixed investigation against a governor with an 80 percent approval rating? We cats SNARL in derision at the thought.

P.S. We cats also know a bit about public relations. And one of the rules of PR is: Use a lawyer as your spokesperson, and you come off as guilty (because you are). Perhaps McCain-Palin would want to rethink their Troopergate strategy a bit? They're playing the victim card, but it appears they're actually the perp.

Confessions of a Sacked CEO

By Baxter

Ousted Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina, one of John McCain's campaign surrogates, has admitted that neither McCain nor Sarah Palin has the executive experience to run a company like H-P.

(Hewlett-Packard.... That would be the same company that fired Fiorina in 2005 — the same company that just announced it'll shed 24,000 jobs over the next three years. Hm!)

But never mind. What we cats want to know is, if Ms. Fiorina doesn't think McCain or Palin can run her former company, why does she think they can run the country?

Is it just us, or has the McCain campaign totally jumped the shark this week?

Bosom Buddies

By Sniffles

We cats have always disliked John McCain's expression, "My friends." It makes us feel like we do when the vet tries to get an, ahem, sample out of us with that long plastic stick. So irritating.

That's why we are thrilled with this new ad from MoveOn.org.

We PURR in MoveOn's direction — they are definitely our friends.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Mise en Jeu

McCain Doesn't Feel Your Pain

By Zamboni

In the midst of today's turmoil on Wall Street, a thought has struck us: not only is John McCain out of touch with Americans' economic stress — he still can't talk about it without reading.

Did you see him on the stump today? Explaining how the economy was still strong because of America's entrepreneurial spirit? He was reading verbatim the speech that was sitting on the lectern.

To us cats, that means that John McCain is just mindlessly repeating words — like someone else we know, by the name of George W. Bush. McCain's not talking about anything that has meaning for him personally.

(That's because he's married to a fabulously wealthy beer heiress. See previous post.)

We cats HISS at John McCain — and pee on the passenger seats of Cindy McCain's private plane. How dare you call us "my friends" when you haven't a clue.

Let's Have a Beer on That!

By Baxter

As we write this post, the New York Stock Exchange is down 358 — thanks to the Lehman Brothers bankruptcy and the Merrill Lynch takeover. And now the government is asking Goldman Sachs and JP Morgan to shore up AIG. People across the country are wondering if their money is safe.

Yet here's what John McCain said at a rally in Jacksonville this morning: “Our economy, I think, still, the fundamentals of our economy are strong.”

Senator Obama is asking which economy John McCain lives in. But we cats think we know.

If your wife made something close to the GNP of Sweden on the buyout of Anheuser-Busch, you'd believe the economy was strong, too.

Think John McCain is the kind of guy you'd like to have a beer with? Go right ahead. But John McCain won't be picking up the check. You will.

UPDATE: We cats sold the Dow drop short. It's 495. Hope you humans weren't planning on retiring tomorrow.

UPDATE II: Sorry, it's 504.48. Holy whiskers!

We Love This (Bad Language and All)

Quote of the Day (Week, Month, Year) (Part IV)

"The worst thing I can do is sell my soul to the devil."

—John McCain, to David Ignatius of The Washington Post, May 2006

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Quote of the Day (Week, Month, Year) (Part III)

"Sarah Palin should spare us the phony sentiment and respect [for Hillary Rodham Clinton]. Governor Palin accused Senator Clinton of whining and John McCain laughed when a questioner referred to her by using a demeaning expletive."
—U.S. Representative Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-FL), Clinton supporter

Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them

We cats have noticed the sudden boldness with which folks are using the new "L" word. Fine with us. We approve of calling a lie a lie instead of, shall we say, pussy-footing around it with polite synonyms. But it makes Al Franken look positively prescient.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Quote of the Day (Week, Month, Year) (Part II)

"The only reason for [Sarah Palin's] selection is political. Which is fine as one part of your calculation. But in this case, the decision was made at the expense of national security. I fear for my country if the McCain-Palin ticket prevails."
—Tony Knowles, Governor of Alaska, 1994-2002

The Content of their Character

"I'm not a fan of the blacks, but I just think Obama is the right man for the job." —Dennis Rodriguez, 48, restaurant manager, Manistique, Michigan

Sarah Palin — Miss Teen South Carolina — Same Person

"Those requests, through our research divisions and fish and game and our wildlife departments and our universities, those research requests did come through that system, but wanting it to be in the light of day, not behind closed doors, with lobbyists making deals with Congress to stick things in there under the public radar. That's the abuse that we're going to stop. That's what John McCain has promised over and over for these years and that's what I'm joining him, also, saying, you're right, the abuse of earmarks, it's un-American, it's undemocratic, and it's not going to be accepted in a McCain-Palin administration. Earmark abuse will stop."

— Sarah Palin, Republican candidate for Vice President, September 11, 2008

"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don't have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq — everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should... our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. — or should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future..."

— Lauren Caitlin Upton, Miss Teen South Carolina contestant, September 2007

(Image: "Drop Dead Gorgeous," New Line Cinema, 1999)

"He Will Make Cheney Look Like Gandhi"

"Nursing" a Grievance? No Way, No How

By Sniffles

The American Nurses Association — which strongly backed Senator Hillary Clinton for President — has announced that it's throwing its support behind Obama-Biden.

Why? Because Senator Obama's healthcare proposals are “a natural fit” with the group’s positions, said Rose Gonzalez, Director of Government Affairs. “This is about more than getting a woman in the White House,” Ms. Gonzalez added. “This is about how we change healthcare and address the needs of nurses in the country.”

In case you're wondering, 94 percent of the 2.9 million-member organization are female. Average age: 47.

So much for Governor Palin getting the vote of real working women across America.

What we cats find most interesting though, is that representatives for the McCain-Palin campaign did not respond to the ANA’s requests to answer written questions or to meet for a personal interview.

McCain-Palin: Writing off working women while pretending to care about them? We think so.

(Image: Canadian Museum of Civilization)

Doc Boone, With a Difference

By Zamboni

Normally we would not associate Cindy McCain with the great Hollywood character actor Thomas Mitchell. But today's Washington Post story about Mrs. McCain's not-quite-thoroughly-examined addiction to painkillers has changed that.

Picture Mr. Mitchell as Doc Boone, the alcoholic physician in Stagecoach. Planting himself in the coach next to whiskey-seller Donald Meek, he wheedles his way into Mr. Meek's case of samples and drinks them all.

This is basically what Cindy McCain did when she used a charity she founded to help herself to prescription painkillers — often in the names of her unsuspecting employees.

What The Post has written about today is the heretofore untold part of the story: how the painkiller case, which could have resulted in Mrs. McCain spending 20 years behind bars, destroyed several lives — including that of the prescribing physician and the whistle-blowing employee who alerted the DEA.

In the movie, Doc Boone sobers up and successfully delivers a baby. In real life, Cindy McCain beats the rap and goes on to live her privileged life — one that may include a stint as the nation's next First Lady.

We cats don't think Mr. Mitchell would have approved. After all, he was a star during the Golden Age of Hollywood — when transgressors paid for their crimes.

(Image: www.flickr.com)

Is John McCain a Man? (Part III)

By Baxter

Like any responsible cat — and as the only male feline in my household — I've been fixed.

But I still have more masculinity than John McCain.

Seems Senator McCain had a pretty rough time on ABC's "The View" — and things only eased up when his wife, the beer heiress Cindy Hensley McCain, joined him on the set.

So now there are two sets of skirts that Senator McCain hides behind. Kind of an interesting place for a former prisoner of war to hang out.

(Image: www.ABC.com)

Quote of the Day (Week, Month, Year)

"I believe that the McCain-Palin ticket is one of the most dangerous choices of my lifetime, and should this country choose those candidates, the fallout may be so great, the destruction so vast in so many areas that America may never recover." —From an e-mail attributed to Eve Ensler

Sarah SO Not Ready, Part II

By Sniffles

Here we go again. Pretty soon the nation's most famous Miss Alaska runner-up is going to make that Miss Teen South Carolina girl look bright.

Hey, Sarah — anybody with a brain knows that Iraq had nothing to do with September 11. Even your stupid President. But apparently you don't.

And you want what job, now?

Cats Successfully Predict Future

By Zamboni

Remember how we predicted that the McCain campaign would air an anti-Obama ad yesterday, even though they pledged to suspend campaign activities on September 11?

Well, we were right. Salon magazine reports that McCain ran a negative ad in Denver.

Gee! We think the McCain people realize they'll be in dirty litter up to their knees if Senator Obama wins Colorado.

We HISS at the Republicans for their lies and their phony sanctimoniousness over September 11. They make us want to hack up a big, brown, greasy hairball — right on Senator McCain's $520 Italian shoes.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Sarah SO Not Ready

Good grief. We cats hate, loathe and despise the current occupant of the Oval Office, but even we know what the freaking Bush Doctrine is.

Not All Mad for Sarah

By Baxter

A friend of ours was lunching the other day with a former colleague — a woman and a lifelong Republican. He gently asked her if she was planning to vote for Sarah Palin.

"Of course I will not," she snapped. "A mother belongs with her children — especially with a Down's syndrome baby. And if she were a good mother, she would have taught her teenage daughter the facts of life."

We cats can't comment because we've all been spayed and neutered and have never had kittens. But we defer to this Republican lady's wisdom, and PURR in her direction.


By Sniffles

We cats have just heard via a breaking news flash from ABC News that in her interview with Charlie "Muffin Face" Gibson today, John McCain's running mate said that war with Russia "may be necessary."

Now, we won't get into the outrageous gall of a person who wants the second-most important job in the world but only makes herself available to one journalist, muffin-faced or not. For the moment, as cats will be, we're just curious:

Really, Governor? War with Russia? With what army? The Alaska National Guard?

The last we checked, our military was stretched to the breaking point, thanks to George W. Bush's invasion of Iraq. Between taking our eye off the Osama bin Laden eight-ball, and battling a resurgent Taliban in Afghanistan, the army is extending tours of duty, implementing "stop-loss" and lowering its standards for induction.

So.... if McCain-Palin want to go to war with Russia, does that mean they'll bring back the draft?

Will Muffin Face ask her that? We doubt it. But we're asking.


By Zamboni

Perhaps you've heard that cats are supposed to be able to predict the future. We're not giving away our secrets, but apparently there have been documented incidents of cats and other animals going crazy right before earthquakes and things.

Well, we cats have a prediction for this afternoon's so-called "non-political" event commemorating September 11:

As the networks cut away to a commercial, you will see a vicious anti-Obama ad by a 527 group supporting John McCain.

We hope we're wrong. But if we're not, you heard it here first.