Friday, December 31, 2010

Lest We Furr-get: Hypocrite Of The Year

By Zamboni

Now that our least-favorite holiday, New Year's Eve, has arrived, lists of "the best," "the most" and "the worst" of 2010 are everywhere. We cats will refrain from joining the endless droning — although we were amused by a discussion we heard on NPR of how nasty people were to one another this year. (And we think it's wonderful that, since Leona Helmsley's death, someone's available to assume the moniker of "Queen of Mean.")

No, since we cats are busy preparing for our evening revelries — which will include an early dinner and then a safe trip home to our yawning beds — we'd just like to take a moment to nod in the direction of the world's biggest hypocrite, for 2010 and perhaps for all time.

Former RNC chair Ken Mehlman spent Election 2004 scheming with Karl Rove to get anti-gay-marriage measures on state ballots so they could drive conservative evangelical turnout. As we all know, it worked — the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived was elected, and gays across the country were demonized and denied equal rights.

This year, the execrable Mr. Mehlman came out of the closet. Of course.

We cats suspect that Mehlman will be on no one's "best" or "worst" list today, but we believe it's important not to let this traitorous fiend fall off the national radar screen.

So we cats HISS at Ken Mehlman, and dump our dirty litter boxes in his underwear drawer. And we're sure that sometime soon we'll be doing the same to Karl Rove — when he comes out of the closet.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Off With Her Head!

By Miss Kubelik

Goodness gracious. We cats would never have thought it possible that we could feel sympathy for dog-killer Michael Vick. But since bow-tied, right-wing idiot Tucker Carlson has said Vick should be executed for his crimes, and since President Obama has apparently expressed a different opinion on the matter, we feel we have to say something.

We cats are not fans of the death penalty — even for killing people, let alone animals. Therefore, this Carlson stuff is way over the top. But although we're equally not fans of Michael Vick — and were initially puzzled by the President's comments — we feel we need to take our cue from PETA, the animal rights organization for which Vick has been doing community service. PETA has basically taken the Ronald Reagan approach with Vick: Trust, but verify. And his efforts seem to be okay by them. Therefore, they are okay by us.

But of course, don't ask us to love football, and don't ask us to approve Vick owning a dog. Like President Obama's position on gay marriage, our feelings on that aspect of the Vick saga are, shall we say, "evolving."

By the way, when will Carlson demand that Sarah Palin be executed for killing that caribou on her stupid reality show?

Gee, we cats might be able to get behind capital punishment after all!

"Is Our Children Learning?"

By Sniffles

We cats were just wondering how to celebrate the second anniversary of a President who understands proper subject-verb agreement — when we suddenly realized that all is not well in the world of education. At least, not here in the Commonwealth of Virginia.

Virginia textbooks aren't just wrong about blacks fighting for the Confederacy. They're positively riddled with errors.

We're tempted to see this as part of the vast Cuccinelli Conspiracy — our right-wing attorney general's ideological assault on the University of Virginia. After all, there's no need to produce well-educated, inquiring minds at the K-12 level if you're going to turn your Ivy-League state school into an extension of Liberty "University," is there?

Meanwhile, we're wondering where the Virginia Education Association and the National Education Association are on this matter. So far, their silence is deafening.

As Mrs. Malaprop might say, if Thomas Jefferson were alive today, he'd be spinning in his grave.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Joe, We Hardly Knew Ye

By Baxter

Now we cats know that Christmas is really over. Because Joe Miller, the gift that kept on giving, is apparently on the brink of leaving the political stage.

The unshaven teabagger — who would cop the title of worst candidate of 2010 if it weren't for Christine O'Donnellwill not contest the certification of Lisa Murkowski as the winner of Alaska's drawn-out Senate race.

Most normal people would assume that this would be the end of the line for Miller. But he keeps hinting that he'll pursue his lawsuit against Murkowski's victory in federal court — so there's hope among all amused Democrats that this crazy turkey may not be fully cooked yet.

Meanwhile, it's always fun to visit Free Republic and see what the teabaggers there are saying. Here are a few choice quotes. (We cats take no responsibility for capitalization or lack thereof.)

"Alaska’s loss."

"Sad, sad day for Alaska, the country and Justice."

"Repeal the 17th amendmend [sic] and recall the senator."

"Republican leadership in the Congress should place [Murkowski] in the worst office in the building. Right next to the Dumpster. But they won’t."

"I now consider Alaska’s judiciary and election system to be as corrupt as those in Venezuela."

"[Murkowski] is NOT the choice of Alaskans. We voted her OUT in the primaries. This election was stolen by fraud by Unions, democrat voters, and crooked Native association executives, whose job it is to PLUNDER the Native association investments and treasuries. THIS ELECTION WAS STOLEN."

Note to Freepers: We cats understand that stolen-election feeling. Except, for real.

UPDATE: It's Tuesday, and U.S. district judge has just tossed Miller's federal lawsuit. Although this would deal any sane individual's campaign a final crippling blow, we cats say, hey — Joe's a teabagger, so never count him out for crazy behavior. And it would be fun to see if Joe screams "bias." See, the judge was appointed by an election-stealer himself — the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Money Bag

By Zamboni

So, let's see if we've got this right:

A single mom — with just a high school diploma (if that) — and with no job — buys a five-bedroom house in Arizona and pays $172,000 for it in cash.

We cats are certain that financially struggling, foreclosed-on families all across America appreciate this (NOT!).

The Palins sure aren't blue bloods, but there's no doubt in the world that their "regular folk" act is just that. We cats HISS.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Armageddon Approaches

No, it's not the end of the world, but you wouldn't know it by reading the Washington, D.C. weather forecasts this evening. Tomorrow we will get SNOW! Will the government even be functioning come Monday? Seeing the anticipatory panic, we cats wonder how in the world JFK ever got inaugurated. A full report anon. Meanwhile, it's back to the Baffle Box comforter for snuggles and PURRS.

Friday, December 24, 2010


We cats may not be in our kerchiefs or caps, but since it's -5 Celsius outside — that's 23 Fahrenheit for the uninitiated — our owners' king-size bed with its Baffle Box comforter is beckoning.

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Tidbits and Cat Treats — The Day Before The Day Before Christmas Edition

By Miss Kubelik

Goodness gracious, we cats haven't finished our holiday shopping. Here are some observations you can chew on while we battle the crowds at the mall.

Republican cartoon character Haley Barbour's revisionist comments on the White Citizens Councils were not a gaffe. He was just performing the old GOP trick of throwing some outrageous meat to the party's racist base — and then walking it back when the base wasn't paying attention. He's able to do because this because the media never, ever hold people like Barbour accountable for such stuff. Disgusting.

It's interesting that Fat Mike Huckabee — who might be feeling a little self-conscious about the weight he's gained back — has taken aim at the famous killer from Alaska over her opposition to Michelle Obama's healthy-eating initiative. Perhaps Palin would be better off if she worried less about healthy food going into America's youth and more about the penises that are going into the bodies of her teenage daughters. Sorry to be vulgar, but as Walter Cronkite would say, that's the way it is.

This month's award for needlessly self-inflicted political wound goes to Justin Trudeau, Member of Parliament for the riding of Papineau in Montreal, who posed with his very attractive family in fur-lined jackets for his official Christmas card. We cats love Justin, but we think that the only fur one should wear should be one's own. Disappointing.

More reassuring is the fact that the Republicans were shamed into supporting medical care for September 11 first responders. Before this bill passed, we cats were wondering how the GOP was getting away with dissing the very people whose backs they've politically ridden these last nine years. We figured it was because they had no morals, and we Democrats had no balls. But considering the string of Democratic victories in the 111th Congress, apparently there was some testosterone under our Christmas tree after all. May God bless us, every one.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Make the Yuletide Gay

By Sniffles

Whew. We cats know it's been awhile since our last post — but we've been traveling, and once we got home, it seemed that there were a million things to do. But we did take a few minutes this morning to watch President Obama sign the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" into law.

At the risk of repeating ourselves, what a Christmas present! It was a moving and wonderful event. We felt as if we'd witnessed Harry Truman desegregating the military. And the enthusiasm of the invited guests was such an infectiously terrific, feel-good way to start the day. (We also confess to a bit of schadenfreude: It was delicious to contemplate all the bigots who, thanks to Congress and President Obama, will now have to salute and suck it up.)

Of course, the morning also was marked by a teeny little note of idiocy. Meet Bob Marshall, the Republican clown who represents Prince William County (!!) in the Virginia House of Delegates.  This lamebrain has responded to the smiting of DADT by saying he'll introduce a bill to — get this — ban gays from serving in the Virginia National Guard.

By the look of him, "Delegate Bob" isn't cruising for dates any time soon. But he is positioning himself for a possible run for Senate. And he'll probably have to run to the right of expected candidate George "Macaca" Allen. Even knowing this, we cats nevertheless continue to be amazed that these GOP loonies allow themselves to get derailed into social issues. And apparently catch their Republican Governor by surprise as well.

But in the end, we can't help but ask: Since "Delegate Bob" is so convinced that the repeal of DADT is harmful to the troops, how does he know? Has he ever served? From his insipid bio on his House of Delegates website, we tend to think, um, "No."

Delegate Bob Marshall: Chickenhawk. Bigot. Hatemonger. Anti-patriot. Jerk. We cats HISS.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Another Promise Kept

By Baxter

Okay, we cats admit it: It's better to have had Congress repeal the loathsome "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy — with the help of eight Republican votes that surely are giving the right wing indigestion today — than to have the President do it through an executive order. Cats are never wrong, but there are always exceptions that prove the rule.

We have so many reasons to be pleased tonight. First, there's the hope that maybe we can get all those Arabic translators back. If they're willing, our nation and the world will be safer.

Second, there's the knowledge that a lot of folks we despise are gnashing their teeth over this. We're also wondering where a few of them are. For example, does anyone know the whereabouts of famed Republican homosexual Ken Mehlman this evening? After all, it's only six years since he and Karl Rove put all those anti-gay initiatives on state ballots to turn out their hate-filled religious base.

But most of all, we're celebrating the utter slap in the face that John McCain's just received. What a fabulous Christmas gift to the country — "refudiating" the man who foisted the famous killer from Alaska on us. What goes around comes around, John. We cats PURR.

Friday, December 17, 2010

L'Amour du Canada

By Zamboni

Today we cats were shopping in Montreal at an exposition of Quebec artisans. We bought something from a leather-purse maker. While she was ringing us up, she asked us if we were Americans. Since we obviously were, there was something she wanted to tell us.

"We love your prime minister," she said.

(Of course she meant President Obama. But Canada has a prime minister, so that's the first English term she came up with.)

It struck us cats that that never would have been said to us during the dark days of the Cheney Administration. A nice thought after a challenging political year. We cats PURR.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

All Is Calm, All Is... Ducky.

By Miss Kubelik

We cats are heading out for a few days of pre-Christmas vacation. But we won't be too far from a laptop, so we'll post when we can. In the meantime, please enjoy this tastefully arranged rubber ducky creche.

(PHOTO: Snakken & Gubli)

Putz of the Year

By Sniffles

In a twelvemonth simply jam-packed with putzes — Rand Paul, John Boehner, Eric Cantor and Evan Bayh* come to mind — we cats now know who's going to walk away with the big prize for unparalleled putziness. Even though there are 16 whole days left in 2010.

Lt. Col. Terry Lakin, take a bow.

Col. Lakin pleaded guilty to disobeying orders at his court-martial yesterday. The Army doctor had refused to go to Afghanistan because he allegedly believed that President Obama couldn't legally order him there. (Because, you see, President Obama wasn't born in the U.S.)

Well, we cats used the term "allegedly" because it turns out that ol' Terry didn't quite believe that birther nonsense after all. Gosh, he whined to the judge, the past several months have been "a confusing time, a very emotional time for me.” And he was awfully sorry about missing that flight to Kabul. “I understand that it was my decision, and I made the wrong choice,” he said.

What a coward. You know, Terry, you either believe in this crap or not. Go to prison and get your honorable discharge like the man you pretend to be.

We cats imagined that our disgust in Col. Lakin was surely exceeded by his fans in the birther community, so we did some quick searches. The Russian mental case Orly Taitz had no comment on Lakin's capitulation, only invective for the judge. And this site hasn't been updated at all. We cats YAWN.

*Surprise! There are Democratic putzes, too.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Richard Holbrooke, 1941-2010

Like most diplomats, Richard Holbrooke was invisible to the majority of Americans. They had the luxury of ignoring his life's work because it helped make them safe.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Tidbits and Cat Treats — Rainy Sunday Evening Edition

By Baxter

We cats are curled up together on the family room sofa, napping the late afternoon away. But it doesn't mean we don't have opinions about things.

Case in point: We find the fulminating from the right wing of the U.S. Supreme Court about whether or not to attend next month's State of the Union address disingenuous, to say the least. You can bet that the Roberts-Thomas-Scalia-Alito butts will be fast in their front-row seats the next time a Republican President delivers that address.

So, dead racist and anti-Semite Richard Nixon makes rude comments about blacks and Jews on the most recently released White House tapes, and we're still waiting for journalists to ask Michael Steele or Eric Cantor what the hell they're doing in that political party. Good thing we cats aren't holding our breath on that.

Awwww, poor John Boehner is all upset that President Obama said the Congressional Republicans were holding everybody hostage over tax breaks for the rich. We have no pity, Eyeliner Man — you don't exactly deserve politeness. For example, we're wondering when anyone in your party is going to condemn those strident teabagger signs, or disavow the latest "birther" guy, or castigate those Kansas mental cases who picket funerals.

Finally, we cats are amazed. Former Democratic Senator Sam Nunn has come out in favor of the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." My, my, how things change. When Sam was in the Senate, he was to the right of half of the GOP caucus there. Now he appears to stand far, far, far to the left of the mavericky multiple homeowner from Arizona. Who should crawl in a hole somewhere and never come out, by the way. We cats SNARL at him.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

What the Hell Are You Waiting For, Mr. President?

By Zamboni

We cats don't understand. If the Pentagon has spoken, the military brass has spoken, the troops have spoken, and the American people have spoken — why can a few clueless jerks in the United States Senate block the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"?

Do not get us started on the Republicans tonight. They clearly care nothing for the men and women serving in our military any more than they care for the first responders who sacrificed their health and well-being on September 11, 2001. They are disgusting and abhorrent. But right now, our focus is on Barack Obama, President of the United States. We have something to say to him about "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

Mr. President, the time to wait has passed. This sorry-ass Congress will not repeal this hated law, although you've given them every chance. You must now step in and issue an executive order to repeal DADT. Do it now, before the courts take action and all heck breaks loose.

In short, it's time to summon your inner Harry Truman, Mr. President. If you have one, that is. We cats pray that you do.

P.S. Want to write President Obama and tell him to stand up for gays and lesbians? Do it here.

Cat Fight! Aaron Sorkin vs. The Famous Quitter (Killer) from Alaska

By Miss Kubelik

Aaron Sorkin, the creator of President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet and all those West Wing staffers who talk and crack wise in the same tone of voice, has finally captivated us with the quality of his writing.

That's because Sorkin has gone after the famous quitter from Alaska — taking her to task for gratuitously killing a caribou on her "reality" T.V. show. Which, like the famous quitter herself, is obscene.

Sorkin made us LOL with comments like "I don't watch snuff films and you make them," and "That was the first moose ever murdered for political gain. You knew there'd be a protest from PETA and you knew that would be an opportunity to hate on some people, you witless bully." He compared her to Michael Vick, called her "Cruella" and added, "I'm in film and television... [and] I know exactly how many feet off camera your hair and makeup trailer was."

Bravo, Aaron! We cats couldn't agree more. In fact, we have something to add: To borrow a term from the animal kingdom, Sarah Palin is a bitch.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Elizabeth Edwards, 1949-2010

By Sniffles

We cats are struggling with what, if anything, to say about the sad, early death of Elizabeth Edwards. The whole Edwards situation is, to say the least, messy and unpleasant — and we're unsure what we could add that would be valuable. But we always mourn when there's one less Democrat in the world. And we think her obituary in The New York Times did a respectable job of balancing the bad with the good.

So here's what we're thinking today: While we continue to be disappointed in her husband — and are sorry that his terrible behavior added to her already heavy burdens — we  think that Elizabeth Edwards would have been a very interesting First Lady.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Can We Get Some Balls Here, Please?

By Baxter

We cats have refrained from commenting on the nonsense that's been going on in Washington lately, because we were thinking (hoping) that the President was playing rope-a-dope with Congressional Republicans and would eventually turn around and skewer them with a deft parry and thrust.

Looks like we were wrong. The White House is on the verge on cowering once again, this time on tax cuts for the wealthy. Now we know why we supported Senator Clinton in the primaries.

You know, we cats understand the complexities of governing. As we've said before, it's complicated and difficult. So we were never as impatient as our fellow liberals these last two years — even though the Republicans have obstructed, denied, and basically not given a rat's ass about helping the country since Obama became President.

But this tax-cut thing? If this happens, it'll be beyond hacking a hairball. It literally will make us ill. We cannot understand how the Obama team — an awe-inspiring steamroller in 2008 — has become such a bunch of Washington wimps today.

Guys, you need a little testosterone. Here's an unlikely source: "Dems May Keep Senate in Session Over Christmas for DADT Repeal." Way to go, Senator Reid. Now, that would be manning up.

(PHOTO: This is somebody named Tommy, and we'd love to meet him!)

Sunday, December 5, 2010

The Fool Who's Not On The Hill

By Zamboni

We cats don't relish commenting on the famous quitter from Alaska — partly because the subject is so distasteful and partly because she's a publicity monger, and we have no desire to feed the beast. But today we're noting that Joe Miller, the never-say-die teabagger whom Sarah Palin endorsed (and whom Lisa Murkowski apparently defeated last month with an historic write-in campaign), is continuing his Sisyphean legal battle to get a recount.

You know, if Sore Loserman Miller can tie this thing up for a few months, that would mean that the Republicans would be short a seat come January, and Senate Democrats would be in the lead 53-46. So we say, you go, Joe!

But we're also noting that not only have the Republican National Committee and the National Republican Senatorial Committee gone silent on this race — so has the famous quitter. At least, we can't seem to find it — not a Tweet, not a Facebook post... nothing.

What cowards. Of course, it would be really nice if the intrepid members of the Fourth Estate would corner Palin, John Cornyn and the hapless Michael Steele and demand a comment. But we cats aren't holding our breath (especially since we need it to HISS).

Friday, December 3, 2010

Perpetual Adolescents

By Miss Kubelik

Boy, if there are two things that Americans are immature about, it's art and sex. We cats can't come to any other conclusion after encountering the following news stories in the last couple of days.

On the art front, the Smithsonian Institution has pulled from the National Portrait Gallery an AIDS-related video created by artist David Wojnarowicz, after right wingers and faith-based organizations said it contained religious imagery that upset them.

We cats say, tough patooties on them. Who do these squeamish religious nutjobs think they are, to speak for us? Besides, art is not a Hallmark card. In many cases it is meant to challenge, disturb and provoke. Which is why it so often concerns difficult and unpleasant subjects like death, AIDS and Ronald Reagan.

(By the way, if you'd like to register your objection to the video's removal, write Secretary of the Smithsonian Wayne Clough at

On the sex side, some jerk on the Board of Supervisors in Loudon County, Virgina claims that the recent non-controversy over the TSA's new security procedures was really a gay campaign to get subversive jollies. "The next TSA official that [sic] gives you an 'enhanced pat down' could be a practicing homosexual secretly getting pleasure from your submission," this idiot, Eugene Delgaudio, wrote. (We cats PURR in the direction of our friend Sondi, cat adorer and all-around good Democrat, for tipping us off to this story.)

Uh, Mr. Delgaudio, sir? We hate to break it to you, but have you seen the B-roll from those airport pat downs on T.V.? Ninety-five percent of the folks going through TSA security aren't exactly, shall we say, hot. Ugh.

That aside, we think his comments say a whole lot more about Mr. Delgaudio than perhaps he intended. But rather than get into the good supervisor's deep-seated homosexual tendencies, let's just stick with the obvious and say, "Oh, grow up!"

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Joe Scarborough Gives Us a Hanukkah Present

By Sniffles

Thank you, Morning Joe, for brightening our day with a gosh-we-hope-this-happens Republican Party cat fight. Sharpen those claws, everyone, because Joe Scarborough has taken on the famous quitter from Alaska.

Well, actually, he's called out the GOP on their fear of said famous quitter. (Which we cats remember saying existed just a little while ago.) And he's been pretty blistering about it. He told the GOP to "man up," and called Palin "a reality show star who cannot be elected." And a bunch of other things.

See, what apparently set Joe off was the famous quitter's recent and surprising disparagement of Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush. "Great men," Scarborough called them. (Gack!) Pardon us cats while we hack up a hairball at that, but we have to admit we love it when Republicans have the knives out for one another.

For more fun, we took a moment to visit our good nutbag friends over at Free Republic, to see what they thought about Morning Joe. Here are some choice excerpts.

"His use of the phrase Man Up is laughable, since I suspect he hardly knows what the phrase means."

"Joe is a scumbag. He should tear up his GOP card right now."

"Tokyo Joe is an elitist, ruling class, establishment jackass."

"Joe has been living in the upper westsisde [sic] of Manhatten [sic] too long and drinking his emloyer’s [sic] (MSNBC) Kool Aide [sic]. Additionally, he has very gradually moved towards the thinking of his TV 'Partner' Mika who I suspect is more than a 'TV Partner.'"

Gosh, we cats love it when the opposition writes our posts for us. Happy Hanukkah, everyone!