Saturday, October 31, 2009

Tidbits and Cat Treats — Halloween Edition

By Sniffles

It appears that Dede Scozzafava, the Republican Congressional candidate in NY-23, has been scared out of the race. She's suspended her campaign — citing money troubles. (Hm. Election Day is only a few days away, but never mind.) We cats regret the move, since we savor any and all Republican infighting and have particularly enjoyed the snarling and hissing in NY-23. But we're not at all displeased that right-wing nutbags have managed to cow a moderate Republican into submission at the expense of their party's broader electoral appeal.

Speaking of scary, can Virginia really be ready to elect Robert F. McDonnell Governor? We cats find it amazing that after eight years of George W. Bush, any American voters would be willing to believe a right-wing religious nut when he says he'll govern as a moderate, and be a uniter, not a divider. What was it Bush tried to say? "You can't get fooled again!"

By the way, we also can't believe that Liz "I'm Nobody, But You're Supposed to Care What I Think" Cheney will be very happy about a McDonnell ascendancy. She's thinking of running for Senate in Virginia, and a Republican Governor limited by state law to one term would certainly be a potential rival.

Meanwhile, out in California, while we're sorry that Mayor Gavin Newsom has decided to drop out of the race for Governor, we're pleased that apparently the Democrats will have no primary while the Republicans will. Let them duke it out — nastily, divisively and expensively.

Finally, on a happier note, one of the last icky legacies of the late, unlamented Jesse Helms was removed yesterday when President Obama finally lifted the ban on HIV-positive people who want to travel to the United States. Jeez, it's about time, folks. Now maybe the World AIDS Day conference can be held somewhere in the U.S., and one of our cities will benefit from all the tourism dollars. (That's in addition, of course, to the fact that the U.S. is no longer behaving like Neanderthal hypocrites about AIDS — which pleases us very much.)

Happy Halloween, everyone! Pet a black cat today.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Cat Fight! Republicans vs. Conservatives

By Baxter

We cats have a saying we're fond of: You can't do $!&*%$!%*&$! if you don't win.

After a long string of voting for losing Democratic candidates, and watching policies we didn't like get enacted, we gravitated toward folks who proved they could deliver at the ballot box. This often meant resisting the temptation to insist that all Democrats prove themselves 100 percent liberal. It also meant avoiding wasteful, divisive primaries. It usually involved compromise and consensus, both of which can be painful. But both of which are necessary.

Now, we can think of no greater affirmation of this approach than what's going on in New York's 23rd Congressional District — on the Republican side.

The GOP candidate for Army Secretary John McHugh's former seat is just not pure enough for conservative nutbags like Sarah Palin, Dick Armey and Marilyn Musgrave (all of whom are currently out of office, we can't help noting). Or for the hordes of true believers who have descended upon the district to help the Conservative Party candidate, Douglas Hoffman.

One quote from The New York Times that made our little ears prick up: "Many of the workers acknowledge that their efforts could deliver the election to the Democratic candidate, but they say it is more important to send a message than to win this race."

Well, now. We cats aren't guaranteeing that the Democrats will pick up this seat. But we love it when Republicans are less interested in winning than in tearing each other apart.

So we PURR at our friends on the right who continue to marginalize themselves. In the meantime, we'll just get along with the business of governing the country, and leave the true believing to them. Because you can't do you-know-what if you don't win.

Sunday, October 25, 2009


By Zamboni

The Worst Person Who's Ever Lived was in Montreal on Thursday.

See, some former residents of the White House spend their post-Presidencies curing guinea worm disease and river blindness. Others are like George W. Bush. He's traveling Canada right now, on a pre-publication tour to promote the book he's allegedly writing — speaking to friendly business groups for $150,000 a pop. We cats find this obscene.

But wait, there's hope. Well before the Metropolitan Montreal's Board of Trade luncheon began, hundreds of protesters turned out at the Hotel Queen Elizabeth to honk horns, burn Bush in effigy and, you guessed it, throw shoes. And it's extremely amusing that during his speech, Bush made a thrilling Freudian slip when he listed a few of his "regrets" from his term in office. One of them, he said, was standing in front of that banner on the aircraft carrier — the one that said "Mission Impossible"!

Finally, there was the French-language newspaper glimpsed over the shoulder of a fellow subway passenger. It wasn't until later, when we checked our French dictionary, that we realized that a headline we'd read declared, "Everyone Spits at Bush."

Okay, we cats have a question. Our current President wins the Nobel Peace Prize. His predecessor is an object of loathing and disgust.

And the Nobel Peace Prize is bad how?

(PHOTO: John Mahoney, The Montreal Gazette)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Les Couleurs d'Automne

By Sniffles

It's time for another journey to the five-paw cat hotel, while our owners go in search of a little fall foliage.

They'll be someplace where we presume people don't publish anti-Semitic editorials in newspapers. That's because there are no Republicans where they're going. Tories, yes, but no Republicans.

Anyway, as usual, we cats will try to post from time to time. Our kitty condo has just enough room for a laptop!

(PHOTO: Anna Kucsma,

Monday, October 19, 2009

Holes in the Story

By Baxter

Now that Politico has jumped on the Charlie-Crist-might-lose bandwagon, we cats would like to spend today's post criticizing it. Not because we love Charlie Crist and think he'll win in a walk. But because Politico's reporting, as usual, is mighty shallow.

Here are just a few of the items Politico missed:

  • No mention of the Club for Growth's being pro-Rubio, or the possible impact said Club had on the Pennsylvania Senate primary in 2004 and the Rhode Island Senate primary in 2006. (Hint: Arlen Specter is now a Democrat, and Lincoln Chafee is out of office.)
  • No mention of former Governor Jeb Bush and his not-so-secret leanings. (Ugh. We cats feel a hairball coming on.)
  • No mention of Crist's recent, ambitious nuptials, or the fact that his beard, oops, we mean, his wife has a strong desire to escape Tallahassee for Washington.
  • No mention of Crist having run for the Senate and lost in the 1990s.
  • No mention of 2012 Republican Presidential politics and how it may shadow this race. (In 2008, Rubio endorsed Huckabee early. Crist basically handed Florida to McCain by endorsing him, much to the rage and ire of the right-wing nutbags.)
  • No quote from a Florida Democrat, speculating on how much damage a divisive GOP primary could do.
Politico, "F" stands for "Florida" — and for the big, fat, failing grade we give you.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Hot Air

By Zamboni

We cats will not comment on that silly balloon boy story beyond observing that journalism failed us once again. Oh, and also, that we wonder if that child is really a cat. He sure throws up a lot.

Nevertheless, even if we'd never heard of that irritating family from Colorado, there would be no shortage of hot air these days. And not just because the 90-degree weather we've been living with all month finally broke last night.

It's just so striking to us that cable news shouters, right-wing maniacs and liberal losers suffering from terminal righteous indignation all seem to be yammering on about whether President Obama has let us all down. How is that possible? As far as we can tell, he hasn't failed at anything yet. (Beyond apparently not being able to charm the IOC — something we consider an asset, not a liability.)

Even if he hadn't had to pull us back from the brink of another Great Depression, stuff is getting done. He reversed that silly abortion gag rule during his first days in office. Health care reform and climate change legislation are on the way. Afghanistan, Iraq and Guantanamo will be dealt with — by sane people, not the likes of Dick Cheney. Sonia Sotomayor is on the Supreme Court — and the other Justices aren't getting any younger. Yep, nine months in, we cats have to say that we're feeling pretty good.

People tend to underestimate Barack Obama. We cats certainly did, and we freely admit it. Now that he is President, considering everything that was on his plate on January 20 — and knowing how politics and government work — we're willing to be patient a little longer.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

A "Litmus Test" We Love

By Sniffles

Conservative blogger Michele Malkin has questioned whether, in the wake of Rush Limbaugh being dumped as a potential NFL owner, there is a "litmus test" — not only for football owners, but for fans as well.

Yes! We cats heartily endorse that idea — at the risk of making right-wingers' heads explode.

It's fine with us cats if there's a litmus test for NFL owners. And by the way, for fans, too. The litmus test is as follows: None of them should be racists.

Sounds reasonable to us!

A Game for Pussies

By Baxter

We cats own this headline. Not just because we know all things feline, but because one of our favorite humans, many years ago, decided golf was an utter waste of time. Why? He heard a T.V. commentator declare a "courageous putt."

(Storming the beaches at Normandy, blow-torching caves on Iwo Jima or facing billy clubs, firehoses and police dogs in Birmingham takes courage. Putting? — eh, not so much.)

But now we have additional evidence that golf is for losers. Check out this swastika carved into the 18th green at the Lakeville Country Club in Massachusetts.

As you might imagine, the Secret Service is investigating. Good thing, since President Obama is scheduled to visit Boston on Oct. 23. Please, gentlemen, err on the side of caution. We cats already are nervous enough that the President will make a speech at Texas A&M tomorrow. We don't trust Texas; we'd hate to think we can't trust Massachusetts, either.

Meanwhile, we PURR at the Secret Service and send them good thoughts. If anyone is overworked because of the nutbags these days, it's them.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Tidbits and Cat Treats — Tuesday Edition

By Zamboni

We cats don't really care about the NFL now that Michael Vick is allowed to play again. But we think the league should listen to its black players. If the owners allow Rush Limbaugh to buy the St. Louis Rams, they'll just have to undo the whole deal again once he says the next racist thing. He won't be able to help himself — once a bigot, always a bigot.

We know that Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger was never a favorite of the whackjobs over at Free Republic, but we can just imagine how their little Freeper heads exploded once they heard he signed Harvey Milk Day into law. Governor, as long as you're defending the gay community, could you help Lindsey Graham? We think the teabaggers are going to beat him up.

So nutbag birther Orly Taitz has been socked with a $20,000 fine for wasting U.S. District Judge Clay D. Land's time. Good for you, Judge Land — but as you can imagine, Taitz is undaunted. Now she's even questioning whether President Obama is from planet Earth. Well, we suppose the President could be a space alien. After all, we've always thought of Orly as a cartoon character.

Now we know where the term "Olympian accomplishment" came from. Thanks, Senator Snowe. You are a — well, a goddess.

Monday, October 12, 2009

But — Governing IS Complicated and Difficult!

What's all the fuss about, anyway? We cats always blog in our pajamas.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Cutting Off Our Noses

By Sniffles

As you may have noticed, we cats have recently had a few verbal tussles with Barack Obama's critics on the left. These are the folks we label "liberal losers," because they insist that if the President doesn't immediately perform 100 percent in line with their world view, he's as bad as Bush was, or worse.

During these cat fights, we've noticed a few themes that run through their arguments: We are blind Obama followers; we have no principles; we can't stand dissent; we should go hang out at the DNC website, where everyone agrees with one another all the time.


We cats aren't known for being particularly empathetic creatures (although we are good at jumping up on laps and purring). But we actually understand a lot of the liberal losers' frustrations. We, too, would like to turn around the ship of state on a dime. We, too, would like to snap our fingers (if we had any) and make all the hangovers from the Bush Administration go away. But our system of government isn't like that. In the words of the gay activist Franklin E. Kameny, these things take time.

Why? Because even in a democracy in which a majority of the people have spoken, American government and American politics are inextricably intertwined. In order to get anything accomplished — to be a good-deed-doer in any sense of the word — you have to think in long-range political terms, not just ideological ones. Which means that along the way, you have to make compromises and forge consensus. This helps keep you in power — not an end in itself but the essential means to the ends that you want to achieve.

President Obama understands this, maddening as it is to our good friends on the left. He may be an ivory-tower Constitutional law professor, but intellectually, Obama also lives in the real world. This is a rare leadership quality in an era that isn't as polarized and cacophonous as ours; the fact that he's not only among us but is also our President is, to us cats, an astounding and fortuitous turn of events.

In short, our dear fellow liberals, undermining Obama from the left as well as from the right is not helpful. He is not the enemy. He is far more your friend than anyone on the other side ever will be.

So give it a try. Think politically. It doesn't make you less pure.

It helps you get the stuff you care about done.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Touching a Nerve

By Baxter

Oh, no! Now liberal-loser killjoy Glenn Greenwald is whining over at Salon about the DNC's "standing with the terrorists" response to the RNC! The Democrats are being Rovian! Eeeek!

As you might expect, Mr. Greenwald's post goes on, and on, and on. Without even being able to finish it, we cats suspect that the thin-skinned Mr. G. is feeling a mite besieged.

We wonder why. The right wingers are siding with the terrorists. When he attacked President Obama's Nobel Peace Prize yesterday, Rush Limbaugh — with no prominent Republicans repudiating him, by the way — actually invoked the Taliban and said he agreed with them. If that's not siding with the terrorists, we don't know what is.

So we can't fault the DNC for firing back. After years of Republicans accusing Democrats of being unpatriotic, the irony too delicious to resist.

But — back to Glenn Greenwald. Why does he apparently think that the DNC's statement is all about him? Why does he feel it necessary to lash back in his eye-glazing blog with paragraph after paragraph after defensive paragraph? Is it possible that his uncanny resemblance to the right-wing absolutists over at Free Republic is starting to dawn on him?

We cats doubt it. This guy is a problem we're not going to be able to fix, and worse yet, he's boring us. Time for a nap.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Kids! Try This at Home!

By Zamboni

Hey, everybody — celebrate America's win of the Nobel Peace Prize by inserting liberal-loser killjoy Glenn Greenwald's name into statements supporting President Obama! Fun!

Want an example? Here's today's press release from Representative Chris Van Hollen (D-MD), chairman of the DCCC.

"The outrageous reaction by Rush Limbaugh, RNC Chairman Michael Steele, [liberal loser Glenn Greenwald] and others to President Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize is the latest sad example of Republicans [and Glenn Greenwald] putting politics before country by rooting for America to fail...

"Rush Limbaugh and his Republican allies [and Glenn Greenwald] may, as Rush Limbaugh said, 'all agree with the Taliban and Iran,' but millions of Americans see the President's winning of the Nobel Peace Prize as an affirmation of our nation's values and it should be celebrated.

"Democrats and Republicans [and Glenn Greenwald] should join President Obama in seeing this award as a call to action against the common economic and security challenges we all share."

Cat Fight! Liberal Losers vs. Us

By Sniffles

Goodness gracious. Such a kerfuffle over at Salon. The boring windbag Glenn Greenwald has 450 (and counting) letters ever since he posted his sour-note condemnation of President Obama's Nobel Peace Prize. (And as you might suspect, his post is endless. Glenn needs an editor — how he does run on.)

We cats fail to see how attacking Obama's Nobel is a winning strategy for anyone, right or left. As a good friend of ours has pointed out, he wouldn't have won the Peace Prize if the American people hadn't had the wisdom to elect him President — so this prize belongs to all of us.

But no — sourpusses like Greenwald know no joy. Like other ideological purists on the left — who are just as nutty as the Freepers are on the right — he insists on having a President who will toe his political line 100 percent of the time. Girl, ain't gonna happen.

We cats HISS at the liberal losers who refuse to stop being angry. We'll take a President we agree with 90 percent of the time over one we agree with 10 percent — any day.

Random Thoughts on Obama's Nobel

By Baxter

Contrary to what the right-wing crazies, the RNC, liberal-loser killjoys and some cable news talking heads are saying, there is no downside to the Nobel Peace Prize. None.

Memo to George W. Bush: The world still hates you.

Fun fact: Three of the last four Democrats elected to the Presidency (Jimmy Carter, President Gore, and now, Barack Obama) have won the Peace Prize.

Some pundits were asking this morning what Bill Clinton is thinking. We cats were wondering that, too. However, as the Nobel Committee has awarded the prize in recognition of Obama's global outreach, we think it could be interpreted as a nod to this Administration's entire foreign policy team — which is headed by our current Secretary of State.

John McCain, for once in his life, is correct. Grow up, Republicans.

P.S. Happy birthday, Bo.

Who Needs the IOC?

By Zamboni

Well, so much for President Obama losing his luster with the international community.

He has just joined Martin Luther King, Jimmy Carter, Elie Wiesel and President Gore in winning the Nobel Peace Prize.

We cats are thrilled. We like any kind of award, honor or designation that has the word "peace" in it — and we love it when the recipient is someone from the United States.

But the best part is that for the second time in a week, Rush Limbaugh and his fellow right-wing nutcases will be forced to root against America on the world stage.

In fact, it's already started. We cats PURR.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Dear GOP: Don't You Ever Tell Us to "Support the Troops" Again

By Sniffles

Well, it's about time. Or should we assume that the House waited until close to the anniversary of Matthew Shepard's murder to pass the hate crimes measure?

Actually, we apparently owe big thanks to Speaker Nancy Pelosi — who urged that the measure be attached a $680 billion defense appropriations bill. See, this is the kind of maneuvering you can do in Congress when you're in charge. We love it, and we wish the full legislation fast approval by both the Senate and President Obama.

We just think it's hilarious that 131 Republicans voted against a bill that not only funds the Defense Department, but makes it a crime to attack gays, disabled people and — that's right — members of the U.S. military.

Speaker Pelosi, we cats PURR at you! You really put those Republicans in their place!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

New York Times: Crushingly Wrong

By Baxter

We cats would find our world pretty wanting without our daily dose of The New York Times. But today we give The Gray Lady a well-deserved HISS for its editorial supporting animal-cruelty videos as free speech.

Ugh. This is also one day that we're mighty glad we don't sit on the SCOTUS — since John "Gee, I Could Have Used an Index Card" Roberts and his fellow Supremes are hearing a case right now about sadistic "crush" videos and others of their disgusting ilk.

We assume that we don't need to explain what a "crush" video is. But we'd just like to know: If snuff movies and child porn are against the law, why shouldn't recorded animal cruelty be as well? It is equally as appalling. (Yes, we know that the nature channels on T.V. show a lot of lionesses bringing down zebras and wildebeests. But we think there's a big difference between pornography and National Geographic.)

Therefore, we urge the Supreme Court to declare animal abuse unprotected speech. As for you sick, sick people who get your jollies from "crush" videos, we wish that Hellboy were available. He loves cats, and if we asked him to, he'd crush you!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Cokie = Lamebrain (The Sequel)

By Zamboni

We cats are not particularly interested in leaping to Roman Polanski's defense. His crime — to which he has confessed — repels us. And although we acknowledge the possibility of judicial misconduct in his case, and his victim says she forgives him, we recognize that the main concern now should not be forgiveness, or vengeance, but justice.

In short, a fugitive should not be surprised when apprehended. But we also believe that Cokie Roberts is a moron. We hate to break it to her, but America is not about taking people out and shooting them. Nazis do that.

Cokie has spent her entire "career" sucking up to Republicans — doing penance for having Hale and Lindy Boggs as parents, we guess. And now it appears she's caught their Over-the-Top-Rhetoric bug as well.

Cokie, we cats don't care if you say it was just a figure of speech — we still HISS at you. And we'll refrain from joking that you should be shot for saying what you did.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Tidbits and Cat Treats, Non-Olympic Edition

By Sniffles

Here are some random thoughts crossing our furry little minds this evening.

We cats never cease to be amazed at the hypocrisy of conservatives. They're all cheering because the U.S. lost its bid to host the 2016 summer Olympic games today. You can bet that if a Republican were in the White House, they'd be rooting for any American city to win — especially against a Brazilian socialist like Lula da Silva.

Actually, we like Lula. (We were just employing sarcasm.) But we've never been a big fan of the IOC. Particularly since they refused to cancel the games after the Israeli team was massacred in 1972. Oh, and that guy Avery Brundage was a Nazi.

Meanwhile, it seems that John Ensign is back in the news again. Same story of illicit Republican sex and smarmy payoffs, but this time with more details. Ugh, what a crook. But we laughed out loud when we heard Mitch McConnell say he wasn't going to discuss it because the article had come out just today. Well, Mr. Minority Leader, what other day would you discuss it?

And speaking of GOP travails, we are loving the Republican cat fights going on right now, whether they're between McCain campaign manager Steve Schmidt and the former Governor of Alaska, What's Her Name, or between David Brooks and the Oxycontin addict. You go, girls!

Finally, we cats think it's silly that Representative Alan Grayson found it necessary to apologize for using the word "holocaust" to describe the 45,000 Americans who die each year for lack of health insurance. First, that sounds like a holocaust to us. But can we be the only ones who realized that it was "holocaust" with a small "h"?

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Happy 85th Birthday, Jimmy!

By Baxter

Former President Jimmy Carter, still going strong at four score and five years, celebrated his birthday today by reopening the Presidential Library and Museum at The Carter Center.

We cats can't wait to see it — because our will says that The Carter Center will get everything after we depart for the Rainbow Bridge. So a trip to Atlanta is definitely somewhere in our future.

We're particularly looking forward to seeing the added exhibits on Mr. Carter's unparalleled post-Presidency. We're so glad that his work to wage peace, fight disease and build hope earned him the accolade Nancy Reagan most desired for her (undeserving) husband — the Nobel Prize. (Yes, folks, we're that catty. Surely you're not surprised.)

So, big kitty PURRS and warm, scratchy kisses to President and Mrs. Carter on this special day.

(PHOTO: Brant Sanderlin, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution)