Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Hissy Fit

By Baxter

So, it seems as if folks mainly, um, kept their powder dry at today's Senate gun hearing, despite a couple of testy moments between Dick Durbin and the ever-unlikable Wayne LaPierre. (We cats are not taking back a word of our previous post about how repellent lots of Americans, seeing him for the first time, are finding L'il Wayne.)

We also heartily endorse the courageous appearance of Gabrielle Giffords and her husband, Mark Kelly. It's kind of hard for gun nuts to argue with the fact that, as the former Congresswoman haltingly said, "Too many children are dying." (You notice that her short statement was about kids who have been shot, not herself.)

However, we cats must stop, just for a moment, for one quibble. We'll say it now, and then try to refrain from ever saying it again.

We perfectly understand that reasonable, articulate gun owners like Giffords and Kelly will make the arguments that, in the matter of reducing gun violence, will carry the day. But boy, we are sick and tired of hearing things like this: "Gabby and I are pro-gun-ownership...We believe wholly and completely in the Second Amendment of our Constitution — and that it confers upon all Americans the right to own a firearm for protection, collection and recreation."

Bless you, Mark Kelly, but that is precisely where we part ways. We cats despise the Second Amendment, and if we could, we would take an Exacto knife and slice it completely out of the U.S. Constitution. We also would love it if what the gun-happy lamebrains on the right fear most were true: That we are coming for their guns. We hate guns. Nobody should have them except for soldiers and cops. Aside from racism, we can't think of a greater scourge that's visited our nation than our insatiable love affair with guns.

But since we know we're way out in left field on this one — and that to even say these things probably endangers the fragile coalition that's forming to prevent future Newtowns — we'll just shut up and settle for universal background checks.

(IMAGE: 16 of the kids killed at Sandy Hook. Shame on us.)

Monday, January 28, 2013

Crock The Vote

By Zamboni

"There is still shock on the part of some in the Republican party that I won re-election," President Obama has told The New Republic.

No joke, Mr. President. In fact, they're in such shock that they're trying to rig the rules.

You've probably heard about all this, because the so-called liberal media have been covering it like crazy: States that went blue last year, but which are governed by GOP governors and state legislatures, are looking to apportion their Electoral College votes per Congressional district instead of statewide, winner take all.

Which means that if those rules had been in force last year in, say, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Ohio, Virginia and Florida, we would have been listening to President Romney's first inaugural address last Monday. Horrors!

We cats are disgusted. Back in the days when Saint Ronnie Reagan was carrying 49 states, or when the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived was being appointed to the Presidency by the Supreme Court, Republicans loved the Electoral College. Now that their policies are deeply unpopular with the American people — and with the party in the toilet — instead of taking a real hard look at themselves and their positions, they've decided that the path to success lies in disenfranchising the urban, progressive, non-white, non-male, non-old, non-heterosexual voters who have deserted them already.

Therefore, we cats have a proposition.

Dear GOP: Shall we abolish the Electoral College entirely? And just go to a straight popular vote for President?

Sounds good to us. Because we think that you guys would lose that straight-up-and-down vote, every time — for decades and decades to come. We cats PURR.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Glorious, And Very Free

By Miss Kubelik

We cats are thrilled with the results of the 2012 election, although we admit that we would have been more thrilled had Democrats regained control of the House of Representatives. Still, 2012 was good. And we're pleased that American public opinion seems to be turning our way on marriage equality, gun safety and a woman's right to choose.

Despite all this, though, we're still not questioning our interest in, and fondness for, our Neighbors to the North. They seem to accomplish so much more than we Americans do, and with much less angst.

Like what, you ask? Well, let us list them.

Women in combat, for example. Canada crossed that hurdle in 1989, and they're happy to report that the transition to gender equality in the Canadian military has been, um, kinda boring. (If "boring" is the adjective that Canadians often labor under, let us cats remind you that "boring" can be mighty good.)

Canada also has been way out in front of the US on matters like same-sex marriage — approved without incident in 2005 — gun safety, and, of course, universal health care.

Why is it that Canada leaves the United States in the dust on so many issues? We cats guess that when you only have 35 million people, 10 provinces and three territories, you can get a lot of stuff done.

Still and all, Canada required visionary leadership to reach these goals. Canadians today, who serve equally in the military, marry whom they wish, own guns responsibly and receive free healthcare services, owe those rights to folks like Lester Pearson, Tommy Douglas, Pierre Trudeau, Jean Chretien and Paul Martin.

O Canada: It's not our home and native land, but we cats feel a lot of true patriot admiration nevertheless.

Friday, January 25, 2013


By Sniffles

Saxby, we hardly knew ye. A mere 10 years after you smeared a triple-amputee war hero to win a Senate seat, you're turning tail and running.

For the hills, that is — not for Senate in 2014.

Why? Because Saxby needs to duck a tough fight with the right-wing whackjobs who have taken over his party, for whom even Saxby Chambliss is not conservative enough. Which boggles the mind, but that's fodder for a separate post.

What we cats are focused on right now is the fact that Chambliss, of course, is a chickenhawk. He had multiple deferments for Vietnam. But in 2002 that didn't keep him from Swift Boating Max Cleland in one of the most shameful episodes in American political history. Chambliss has gone on since then to saber rattle, preach invasions, and enable the lies, deceptions and failures of Bush-Cheney foreign policy.

And now he's too scared of nuts like Paul Broun, Tom Price, Herman Cain or even Allen West to run. He could learn a thing or two from Democrats like Cleland, John Kerry, Bob Kerrey, Daniel Inouye, George McGovern and Tammy Duckworth about the value of courage under fire.

We cats HISS at Saxby Chambliss, dump our dirty litter boxes on his stupid head, and say, good riddance.

Thursday, January 24, 2013


By Baxter

GOP chair Rancid Pieface is gamely predicting a Republican "renewal," but we cats are wondering how that's going to happen if they have many more weeks like this.

It started out with the inauguration of Barack Obama, who gave a delicious, in-your-face speech (long story short: we liked it) — which apparently knocked the wind out of the GOP's sails for at least 24 hours. Because that's how long it took for them to start whining about it.

Then yesterday, three — three! — far-right heroes in the House and Senate made utter fools of themselves at their respective Benghazi hearings. (This does not include Baby Marco Rubio, whose unexpected impression of Caspar Milquetoast must have let a lot of teabaggers down.) Jeff Duncan is a nobody from South Carolina who will never have to worry about not blending into a crowd. And we all kind of knew Rand Paul was nuts, but his straight-from-Glenn-Beck's-blackboard question about arms to Turkey gave us Hillary fans the best moment of the day. Unless, of course, you count the fact that now America knows who Ron Johnson is, and that's not good. For Johnson.

But as if all that isn't enough, Willard Mitt Romney is coming to town. Yep, with his timing slightly off — the big event at which he would have had a front-row seat was Monday — Romney and his petulant wife will be feted by J.W. Marriott and a bunch of (excuse the expression) fat cats at a Washington reception tomorrow.

Why is this important? Well, we cats are just wondering why the 2012 Republican standard-bearer is coming all the way from California to attend an event that will compete with the big GOP winter meeting in Charlotte this week. Which brings us back full circle to that Republican "renewal" that Pieface keeps talking about — but which, with all these oopsies and idiocies and pratfalls, will never occur.

We cats PURR.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Before 44, There Was 36

Thanks to the Vietnam War, Lyndon Johnson's memory is a beleaguered one. And the final irony for a man who was so determined to stamp his mark on history is that, although his death ruled the headlines when it occurred, it has come to be overshadowed by that other thing that happened 40 years ago today.

We cats have our problems with LBJ, but we'll say this: We're sorry that he died too young to have made peace with his turbulent Presidency. But we think he would have been mighty pleased with that speech yesterday — and with the man who gave it.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Tidbits and Cat Treats: "Gayest Inaugural Ever" Edition

By Zamboni

What's that, you say? Of course we meant "gay" in the sense of joyous, celebratory happiness. Then again, on the other hand why shouldn't we be joyous and celebratory about a fabulous LGBT inaugural?

Here are some catty (and not so catty) observations about the day.

We thought the second inaugural address was great. An inspiring paean to American exceptionalism, and a huge rebuke to obstructionists in the other party. We cats hope they were listening.

We liked Michelle Obama's coat, gloves and boots, but having seen the Royal Family stand out in crowds, we would have advised the First Lady to wear a color that would have helped her be seen.

Whoops, Myrlie Evers-Williams: Barack Obama is our 44th President, not our 45th.

We've never seen "American Idol," and never will. So we weren't too sure who Kelly Clarkson was. She was okay. Beyonce was okay. But James Taylor and the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir were the best.

We're very glad John Roberts has learned the value of index cards.

Former President Jimmy Carter and First Lady Rosalynn Carter both looked great — not bad for 88-year-olds. And it was good to see the Secretary of State so hale and hearty. But although George H.W. Bush, recently released from the hospital, gets a pass for not showing up, The Worst Person Who's Ever Lived has no excuse.

We're assuming that unlike his fellow Mormon, Mike "DUI" Crapo, Harry Reid was toasting the President with sparkling water this afternoon.

Finally, we cats worked our tails off last fall to make this day possible. We sure didn't want to have Willard Mitt Romney take the oath today, see the Koch Brothers sitting on the dais, and hear Debby (or Pat!) Boone sing the national anthem. But over and above that, just knowing that we have a smart and thoughtful person in the Oval Office makes us very happy. And we PURR.

Eat Your Heart Out, Maya Angelou

We cats will have more to say on today's festivities, but while events continue to unfold, we must immediately declare that we were simply bowled over by the Inaugural Poem. What a marvelous expression of e pluribus unum. We PURR in Richard Blanco's direction and rub against his ankles.

"One Today"

One sun rose on us today, kindled over our shores,
peeking over the Smokies, greeting the faces
of the Great Lakes, spreading a simple truth
across the Great Plains, then charging across the Rockies.
One light, waking up rooftops, under each one, a story
told by our silent gestures moving behind windows.

My face, your face, millions of faces in morning’s mirrors,
each one yawning to life, crescendoing into our day:
pencil-yellow school buses, the rhythm of traffic lights,
fruit stands: apples, limes, and oranges arrayed like rainbows
begging our praise. Silver trucks heavy with oil or paper -- bricks or milk, teeming over highways alongside us,
on our way to clean tables, read ledgers, or save lives -- to teach geometry, or ring up groceries as my mother did
for twenty years, so I could write this poem.

All of us as vital as the one light we move through,
the same light on blackboards with lessons for the day:
equations to solve, history to question, or atoms imagined,
the “I have a dream” we keep dreaming,
or the impossible vocabulary of sorrow that won’t explain
the empty desks of twenty children marked absent
today, and forever. Many prayers, but one light
breathing color into stained glass windows,
life into the faces of bronze statues, warmth
onto the steps of our museums and park benches
as mothers watch children slide into the day.

One ground. Our ground, rooting us to every stalk
of corn, every head of wheat sown by sweat
and hands, hands gleaning coal or planting windmills
in deserts and hilltops that keep us warm, hands
digging trenches, routing pipes and cables, hands
as worn as my father’s cutting sugarcane
so my brother and I could have books and shoes.

The dust of farms and deserts, cities and plains
mingled by one wind -- our breath. Breathe. Hear it
through the day’s gorgeous din of honking cabs,
buses launching down avenues, the symphony
of footsteps, guitars, and screeching subways,
the unexpected song bird on your clothes line.

Hear: squeaky playground swings, trains whistling,
or whispers across cafe tables, Hear: the doors we open
for each other all day, saying: hello, shalom,
buon giorno, howdy, namaste, or buenos días
in the language my mother taught me -- in every language
spoken into one wind carrying our lives
without prejudice, as these words break from my lips.

One sky: since the Appalachians and Sierras claimed
their majesty, and the Mississippi and Colorado worked
their way to the sea. Thank the work of our hands:
weaving steel into bridges, finishing one more report
for the boss on time, stitching another wound
or uniform, the first brush stroke on a portrait,
or the last floor on the Freedom Tower
jutting into a sky that yields to our resilience.

One sky, toward which we sometimes lift our eyes
tired from work: some days guessing at the weather
of our lives, some days giving thanks for a love
that loves you back, sometimes praising a mother
who knew how to give, or forgiving a father
who couldn’t give what you wanted.

We head home: through the gloss of rain or weight
of snow, or the plum blush of dusk, but always -- home,
always under one sky, our sky. And always one moon
like a silent drum tapping on every rooftop
and every window, of one country -- all of us --
facing the stars
hope -- a new constellation
waiting for us to map it,
waiting for us to name it -- together

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Tidbits and Cat Treats: Pre-Inaugural Edition

By Miss Kubelik

We cats don't do well in crowds — we're too short — so in preparation for Monday's festivities, we're firing up the TV, fluffing up the couch pillows and chilling down the beer. In the meantime, these items from the news have caught our attention.

We cats always thought President Obama's first-term official portrait was a bit dippy, so we're happy he's posed for new one. But our favorite Inaugural photo is still this.

On the Republicans hamhandedness front, today we salute Mr. Appalachian Trail, who's had to apologize for calling himself "a wounded warrior." Goodness gracious, they just can't stop, can they? For a chickenhawk to describe himself the way Mark Sanford did is not only in stunningly bad taste, it's tone-deaf in the "rape-is-good-if-a-child-is-conceived" vein. But of course, Sanford was the lifetime winner of the Narcissism Prize until Lance Armstrong came along.

Speaking of Lance Armstrong, it now seems that when he went cycling with The Worst Person Who's Ever Lived, he was trying to steal that title, too.

We cats think it's funny that, looking for advice on besting Obama, the GOP is turning to the guy who lost his hometown to the 2012 Democratic ticket by 25 points.

Finally, to all those conspiracy nuts who think the Newtown shooting was a hoax to pass gun control, we cats say this: Sandy Hook, never happened? Doubtless, the parents of those 20 murdered children devoutly wish that were so.

(IMAGE: The best New Yorker cover, ever.)

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Write Your Congresshuman!

By Sniffles

Want to write your member of Congress in support of the President's gun safety proposals? We cats make it easy for you.

To send your elected representative an e-mail, click here.

Unsure what to write? Well, here's the message that one of our owners just sent our hapless GOP House member. Plagiarize away!

"There is no sane, logical, reasonable reason why you should not support every one of the anti-child-killing, anti-gun-violence initiatives announced by President Obama. These reforms are sane, common-sense, Constitutional and necessary. Taking your voting orders from the child-killers at the NRA is un-American, pro-violence, anti-life, pro-crime and simply criminal.

"Stand up for Americans. Stand up to the whackjobs at the NRA. Support the President's reforms. Do you support the children who were slain at Newtown? Or do you support the greed and enrichment of Wayne LaPierre, David Keene and the NRA?

"Do you support America? Or do you support the black-helicopter wingnuts who believe they need an arsenal to wage war on the government that you serve — the government that pays you?

"Where do you stand, Congressman?"

First Impressions

By Baxter

Imagine that you are not a political junkie the way we cats are. Imagine you're, say,  a suburban wife and mom of three kids. Every morning you get those children off to school and then head out for your job as a part-time receptionist in a medical office. At the end of the day, you race to meet your kids at the bus stop and then head home to get homework started and dinner on the table.

Maybe, just maybe, you have time to turn on the network or cable news at that point, but only to play in the background while you tear around with the children, supper and laundry. You probably don't read a newspaper, because there isn't time. You hear about big news stories, and they register — but aside from the major players like the President and maybe the Vice President, you really don't know who the inside-the-Beltway influencers are. You can't put faces to names.

Until now.

Because we cats think that if this describes you, you probably never saw Wayne LaPierre until his foam-flecked tirade post-Sandy Hook.

And you probably had no idea who David Keene was, although these days you see him everywhere.

And you also can't get away from other wildly unpalatable people named Rand Paul, and Steve Stockman, and Marco Rubio, and, oh, yeah, that Rush Limbaugh guy — all of whom are screaming about "tyranny," some of whom are making fun of schoolchildren scared that someone will burst into their classroom and shoot them, and others of whom are making distasteful ads about the President's daughters.

You don't like these people. You don't, because you have kids, and the Sandy Hook massacre horrifies you. You can't imagine how those parents in Connecticut must be feeling. And all those right-wingers screaming about the Second Amendment are guys, who seem so — so angry and unhinged. Like the shooters in Tucson, Aurora and Newtown were. No, you're busy with your own life and everything, but when you give it a minute's thought, you decide: You don't like these people at all.

As Republicans gather in Williamsburg today to mull over the wreckage of their party, they'll no doubt be lectured on how to better speak to Americans like these. But they won't be learning the real lesson, will they? We cats HISS.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Gun Control: Do It For Harry.

By Zamboni

We cats will have more to say about the President's impressive rollout of gun-related legislation today.

But in the meantime, on the subject of infamous shooters we're wondering if the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived (If Indeed He Were a Person) would pass a criminal background check.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

We Love New York — Hollywood, Not So Much

By Miss Kubelik

We cats are so impressed with the Empire State today that gosh, we're wondering if we should move there.

Well, maybe not. (We hate to move.) But we'll try to spend a ton of money in New York the next time we drive through on our way to Canada.

The swift and decisive action on guns by Governor Andrew Cuomo and that allegedly fractured and dysfunctional legislature in Albany has had an unintended effect. It's made us look back at Sunday night's Golden Globes and cringe.

Why? Because there was Hollywood, patting itself on the back for a job well done, and even reveling in a pop-in from Bill Clinton — but never acknowledging its own romance with, and constant glorification of, guns and blood and death.

Should anyone dictate to filmmakers what movies they should make? Of course not. Do we cats like Quentin Tarantino? Yeah, a lot. Is there any evidence that violence in movies leads to mayhem in life? Not really. So, what's our problem?

Just this: After a month of trying not to visualize 20 little kids lying in pools of blood with their faces shot off, we cats wish that with all the talent and resources at its disposal, Hollywood would spend more time exploring a human emotion other than the desire to kill one another.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Note To GOP: Cut 'Em Loose

By Sniffles

We cats have been pondering the state of the Republican Party.

Honest! We're seriously pondering it — and not necessarily with total schadenfreude, although there's still a lot of that. But now that the GOP has jumped the shark on everything — from the debt ceiling to guns to abortion to immigration to voting rights to UN treaties to.... oh, let's stop —  the funny parts are starting to wear off, and we're wondering where we all go from here.

For clues, we beamed into that malevolent little corner of the Internet, Free Republic, to see their reaction to Colin Powell's candid characterization of the Republican Party on yesterday's "Meet the Press." If accusing the GOP of a "dark vein of intolerance" was a cunning Powell plan to drive attention away from the party's war on women (and its strange obsession with rapists' sperm), the Freepers' outrage is proof that they weren't in on the plot.

Mostly, they attack Powell personally, because that's really all they know how to do. But amid all the flying insults, vitriol and name-calling, it didn't take long for somebody to say this:

"I don’t doubt that there are pockets of prejudice within the GOP, but they’re nothing compared to the millions of government-dependent 'victims' that now inhabit the crime-ridden ghettos the [Democratic] party created for their own power."

And then there's this little gem:

"The sad fact is there is no reasoning with almost the entire Black population of this country."

Hm. As the formerly grand old party heads off to its annual retreat this week, we cats would like to give it some advice: Give it up, guys. You can no longer appease the nuts you've been kowtowing to all these years. In the next few months, you'll have to do some actual, responsible governing — and if your crazy base and your teabagger Congressmen take on a walk on you because of it, let them go.

Sure, after they split away you'll lose a ton of elections for awhile. But at least you'll still exist.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Advice From Dr. Gingrey

By Baxter

Is it just us? These days, we cats feel surrounded by rapists.

Jerry Sandusky. Indian guys on buses. Steubenville football players. More Indian guys on buses. Jimmy Savile. And, of course, idiot Republicans who feel the need to opine on this horrific crime.

Yep, make no mistake — not content with the damage it's already inflicted upon itself, the GOP is at it again. This time, it's Phil Gingrey, a lamebrain Georgia Congressman who's adding his unwanted two cents, and you can bet Georgette Mosbacher is even more pissed off.

We cats say, ugh. This continued Republican self-destruction would be amusing, were the subject not so repulsive. And were the GOP not so hell-bent on introducing these awful "personhood" amendments — like Paul Ryan's latest gig — which kinda sorta let all women, but especially rape victims, know where they'd stand in a Republican-run world.

Never happen, you say? We hope you're right. But just remember that in addition to Ryan, three so-called "stars" of today's sorry-ass GOP are well-known for pushing unnecessary invasive procedures on women: "Transvaginal Bob" McDonnell, Ken Cuccinelli and — remember Terri Schiavo? — Jeb Bush.

And if you're a Republican like Mosbacher, who's feeling violated by your party's slide into stupid? We cats say, relax. Enjoy. You know you want it. Drink a glass of wine.

(IMAGE: Tim's Wine Blog)

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Roger That

By Zamboni

One of the Christmas presents we cats received this year was something that the late Senator Robert Byrd carried at all times: a pocket-sized copy of the US Constitution. We would like to lend it to President Obama, so he can lay his hand upon it at this month's swearing in.

Whoops, well, never mind. We know instead that the President will be sworn in on the Lincoln Bible and a Bible that once belonged to Martin Luther King. While we appreciate the symbolism, we wish that religious tomes were not involved in public-office oath taking at all. In fact, on that note it's deja vu for us, all over again.

Why is this on our minds? Because "the Reverend Louie Giglio," who has preached against "the aggressive gay agenda" to his flock in Atlanta, was inexplicably asked to give the inaugural benediction — and he's since withdrawn after his antigay sermons were, um, outed by liberal websites. Guess we've made real progress since Rick Warren appeared in 2009.

While we cats were kinda looking forward to seeing if Giglio would be seated next to the gay Cuban-American inaugural poet, we won't miss his presence at the benediction. And if the President insists on having one delivered, we suggest this guy.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

It's Not Such a Bad, Bad, Bad Idea

By Miss Kubelik

While capers are not our favorite film genre, we cats are already busy trying to think up madcap movie scripts for the trillion-dollar platinum coin.

First, the coin. Yes, we think it would be a neat way to resolve the debt ceiling — and mess with Republicans who are threatening to hold it hostage. And we already know, of course, who should be on it: The Worst Person Who's Ever Lived. After all, he's the jackass who squandered the Clinton surplus and put two wars and a Medicare drug benefit on the nation's credit card. If there were room on the coin for Bush's Republican enablers, we'd add them, too.

(And maybe there will be room. Some are suggesting that the coin be as big as a helipad, so no one could steal it.)

Still, assuming that the coin gets minted and that it's about the size of a drink coaster, it could be ripe pickings for Hollywood wordsmiths. Here are a few possibilities:

A hapless Bureau of Engraving & Printing employee accidentally tosses the platinum coin into the garbage with some inedible fudge his girlfriend's made. Trouble ensues. (And in a touching tribute to his father, Timothy Hutton plays the lead role.)

Five RNC-hired burglars are caught by an intrepid security guard when they attempt to steal the platinum coin. The elderly Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein — played by the equally geriatric Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman — are called out of retirement to report on the shocking story. (G. Gordon Liddy plays himself.)

In the new Bond film, Platinumfinger, Daniel Craig as 007 battles a devious international jewel thief who's gotten bored with stealing gold. (We guess that Anne Hathaway will have to play the daughter of Pussy Galore.)

Finally, a group of fortune-hunters played by semi-has-beens and B-listers is tipped off by a dying tuna factory worker that the platinum coin has been stolen and stashed. For two excruciating hours they try to beat one another to its hiding place — which, fittingly for whose image is on the coin, is "under a big W."

Monday, January 7, 2013

Power Plays (Not)

By Sniffles

This is not a sports blog, but we cats can't help being struck by the farcical NHL lockout — which, mercifully, just ended — and its similarity to the Republicans on Capitol Hill.

The pathetic reign of the bug-eyed hockey commissioner Gary Buttman [sic], under which 2,000 games have been lost to pointless greed and churlishness, is starting to make the 112th Congress — and the GOP's entire Obama derangement syndrome — look good.

Well, no, not really. Both groups are despicable. Consider these "separated at birth" factoids:

Buttman and the NHL owners hate labor as much as Scott Walker and Rick Snyder do — even though, like Republican governors who abuse their public employees, they couldn't do business without the guys who actually play the game.

Buttman caved on the NHL's revenue-split issue because he thought the players would, and they didn't. We cats expect the same result when Republicans finally realize the White House won't negotiate on the debt ceiling.

Nobody wanted a lockout, but Buttman's merry band drove off that cliff anyway. Kind of reminds us of the House of Representatives on New Year's Eve.

Buttman and the owners thought that people would understand their position and sympathize. Um, they didn't. And now it's starting to dawn on some in the GOP that their brand is in the toilet, too.

Just as Wall Street is warning Republicans not to toy with the full faith and credit of the United States, NHL corporate sponsors are similarly disgusted. Kraft Canada canceled Canada's cherished Hockeyville competition way back in November.

Like federal employees who lose paychecks whenever the Republicans shut down the government, thousands of people with hockey-dependent jobs — waiters, bartenders, concession stand workers, parking attendants, custodians and more — have lost a half season of wages with no hope of recoupment. But like, say, the Republicans' 2012 nominee, Buttman and the owners don't really care about the little guy.

Finally, the NHL lockout leaves us with the same question the 112th Congress did: "What, pray tell, what that all about?" We cats HISS.


Saturday, January 5, 2013

Tidbits and Cat Treats: First Weekend In 2013 Edition

By Baxter

Have you noticed? There's so much in the news with the New Year's dawn. Here are a few items that have caught our attention between naps.

Sorry, Orly Taitz, but it's official: America has re-elected Barack Obama. In the meantime, Obama supporters, if you've got a spare 80 minutes to kill, watch Joe Biden swear in new and returning Senators and schmooze with their families. Who says there's no civility in Washington?

Tempted to believe Republican denials of a GOP war on women? Guess again: A Texas judge has ruled that the state can strip Planned Parenthood of its funding. Michigan Governor Rick Snyder has signed off-the-wall abortion legislation. ("Transvaginal Bob" McDonnell has done the same in the dark of night.) And of course, the incompetent House Of Boehner adjourned without passing the Violence Against Women Act. Please tell us cats why any woman should vote Republican, ever.

We cats still wanna know why Republican Senator and Mormon drunk Mike "Crapo" was in Washington days before Christmas, instead of being home in Idaho with his family. And what's this about using shots of vodka to medicate his "stress"? Mikey has a lot of 'splainin' to do.

We're also amazed at Connecticut gun owners' continuing umbrage at the Journal News' gun registry publication. They say they're afraid for their own safety. Why? They have guns.

Finally, while we won't inflict their actual comments on you, trust us when we say that the right-wing maniacs at Free Republic are really upset about this. Lots of 'em appear ready to bolt for a Palin-West third party. Which makes us cats PURR.

Friday, January 4, 2013

John Cornyn's Brain Shuts Down

By Zamboni

News flash: Republican Senator John Cornyn thinks the government should stop doing some stuff.

"It may be necessary to partially shut down the government in order to secure the long-term fiscal well-being of our country," he opined.

Sheesh. Republicans will make any lamebrain argument for strangling the government in the bathtub, won't they? Of course, we don't know why we should pay any attention to Cornyn in the first place, since he's a proven failure at jobs he's been given — but we've decided to have some fun with him anyway.

See, Cornyn didn't provide any specifics on what parts of the government should close up shop. So we cats suggest the following:

All military bases in the Lone Star state.

Patrols along the Texas-Mexico border.

The Agriculture Department office that handles price supports for Texas ranchers and farmers.

The National Weather Service division that monitors Texas tornadoes and hurricanes in the Gulf.

And finally, any department in FEMA that processes emergency payments to Texas disaster victims — especially after 67 House Republicans voted "no" on the Sandy relief bill today. We cats HISS.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Cat Fight! Chris Christie vs. John Boehner (And The Freepers React)

By Miss Kubelik

Things are still going so badly for the Republicans that we cats just had to check in on our pals over at the right-wing la la land known as Free Republic. How were they doing? What was their reaction to Republican Governor Chris Christie's furious indictment of the House GOP?

Simple answer: Their heads exploded. Here are a few of our favorite Freeper fulminations.

"I’m so livid I’m speechless I hate this Christie and Obama so much."

"Christie is a dumb fat commie enabler."

"RINOs are the enemy."

"What a self-serving gas-bag!"

"Krispy Kreme Christie is the reason we have to endure four more years of the dictator... due to his slobbering public lovefest with the Kenyan man/boy post-Sandy."

"New Jersey is the enemy."

"I would say that Christie is the most nakedly self-interested, politician on the scene today, except that would mean using 'naked' and Christie in the same sentence."

Okay, that last comment is mildly amusing. However, we cats would caution Governor Christie to watch his back: Getting around the wild-eyed haters of the Republican base will not be easy in 2016.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

America To 112th Congress: Drop Dead

By Sniffles

Our headline may be a startling way to begin the New Year, but we feel no compunction to be any more civil to Republicans than Republicans are to us. (Yep, for the second time, a Republican official has told a Democratic one to go eff himself. So much for restoring civility to Washington.)

But Harry Reid is not the only American whom Republicans have insulted. Last night the loathsome 112th Congress adjourned without voting on the relief package that millions of Hurricane Sandy victims are depending on. (More proof that the GOP doesn't give a damn about people unless they're in the womb. And if you think Chris Christie and Andrew Cuomo are mad, just check out Peter King.)

What an ignominious end to a revolting Congress. We cats have seen some bad behavior before — a bunch of adulterers impeaching a President for cheating on his wife comes to mind — but this group of teabagging GOP head-butters really takes the cake.

Lest you doubt it, here are some interesting facts: The 112th Congress passed a paltry 219 bills. The 111th passed 383. Even the infamous "do-nothing Republican Congress" passed 906!

Why do we put government in the hands of people who don't believe in it? We cats HISS — and dump our dirty litter boxes on John Boehner's head.