Wednesday, October 30, 2013

JFK 50: A "My Cats" Feature for 2013

By Zamboni

We cats are bracing ourselves. One of the most depressing things that's ever happened in American history is about to mark its 50th anniversary — and goodness gracious, it'll be tough to get away from. (Unless, of course, you're lucky enough to be Ambassador to Japan.)

We cats were kittens when President Kennedy was assassinated, and as millions and millions of words have been written about him since, we doubt that we could add anything to the discussion.

We've decided instead that the President's own words would speak better than anything we could say.

So between now and November 22, we'll spotlight a Kennedy quote — some famous, some not — so that those of us who remember him (even a little) can recall how bright and thoughtful and funny he was. And so that those of us who don't can find out.
"For one true measure of a nation is its success in fulfilling the promise of a better life for each of its members. Let this be the measure of our nation."
—Special Message to Congress on National Health Needs, 1962

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

A Quickie: More Arguments Against Home Schooling

 "Obama thinks that he's helping things, but he ain't."
—58-year-old Republican white guy in Rome, Georgia 

"I don't think they should have went that far."
—Republican voter in Collinsville, Virginia, on the GOP shutdown

Monday, October 28, 2013

Don't Know Much About History

By Miss Kubelik

It's just over a week to Election Day in Virginia, and Ken "Women Can't Be Trusted With Their Own Fetuses" Cuccinelli is getting slammed in the press for the bad campaign he's run.

Now, we cats know it ain't over till it's over, but we have to agree that the House of Cootch has been singularly inept. That's on top of his poor fundraising, and his extreme right-wing views, and the government shutdown, and his general awful luck (see "McDonnell, Robert").

And the missteps keep happening. Take the latest, which we're not sure any of the young whippersnappers who pass for political journalists these days are going to notice.

Cootchy brought Rand Paul in to campaign for him today. What was one of their stops? The Filipino Cultural Center in Virginia Beach.

We don't get it. The United States has helped liberate the Philippines twice — first in 1898 from Spain, and then from the Japanese during World War II (starring the later-to-be-deservedly-fired Douglas MacArthur, above). It stands to reason, then, that Filipino-Americans might look favorably on the notion of U.S. military intervention abroad. So why would they be receptive to the uber-isolationist, anti-internationalist Rand Paul?

Okay, it may not be the biggest contributor to the overall train wreck that is the Cuccinelli campaign. But it's just another example of the tone-deaf misjudgments that Team Cootch has made. We cats PURR.

P.S. We also hope that Ken's not planning to revisit the Filipino-American community with Ted Cruz any time soon.

Sunday, October 27, 2013


By Sniffles

We cats have just returned from Canada, where the Conservative government is embroiled in a Senate scandal. That's already a little weird because people don't usually free-associate "scandal" with the word "Canada." And it's doubly so because the Canadian Senate doesn't really do much. All the power rests in the House of Commons.

But, politically, the ever-unappealing Prime Minister Stephen Harper has a problem. Since the disgraced Senators are all Tories, Harper is trying to protect himself by tossing them out of the upper chamber altogether. This has split the Conservative caucus deeply. Wow! Canadian Tories are fighting with each other just like Republicans in America are!

South of the 49th parallel, our week and a half away has brought no miracle cures to the fractured GOP. Peter King is still railing against the teabags, Rick Santorum is going after Ted Cruz, the Freeps and their friends want to primary everyone in sight, and Rancid Pieface is still nowhere to be found.

Things are also looking bleak for Virginia gubernatorial candidate Ken "Abortion Stops the Beating Heart of a Future Republican Voter" Cuccinelli and the crazy hater he's got as a running mate for lieutenant governor. So bad that people are starting to speculate that the Republican vying for attorney general, Mark Obenshain, may be the party's last, best hope to avoid a sweep.

"He’s certainly conservative, but he’s been a unifying force in the party," said former Congressman Tom Davis. "He’s not been a polarizing figure."

To which we cats say, really? The "personhood amendment" is not polarizing? Banning birth control pills and forms of IUDs is not polarizing? Running happily on the same ticket with Cuccinelli and the crazy hater for lieutenant governor is not polarizing? Opposing the bipartisan solution to Northern Virginia's intractable transportation problems is not polarizing? Suspecting all women who miscarry of having an illegal abortion is not polarizing?

If not, please do tell us what is polarizing. Because if your definition is as wacky as we think it is, your party has worse problems than we thought. We cats PURR.

Thursday, October 24, 2013


By Baxter

Isn't it interesting that 150 years later, the Republican Party is so enthusiastically re-enacting the Civil War?

No, we don't mean they're donning heavy wool uniforms and camping out in tents in blistering summer heat. They're just fighting with one another — really, really badly.

And they're completely unmindful of the collateral damage, which in Karl Rove's heyday was totally not allowed. Today's GOP, flailing in their hot bath of Obama-hatred insanity, is splashing scalding water on anybody who happens to be nearby — and they couldn't care less. In Virginia, gubernatorial candidate Ken Cuccinelli is one of the splashees.

The Cootch was the first state attorney general to sue to stop the Affordable Care Act, and the Supreme Court told him to take a hike. That's kind of hard for Virginians to forget — especially those who were slammed by the government shutdown that the Republicans just staged over Obamacare.

So, hobbled by his national party, lagging in the polls, short on money and retreating to his base, Cootchy had his last debate with Terry McAuliffe tonight. He needed a game-changer, and he didn't get it. We've gone from the Battle of the Little Big Horn to the Surrender at Appomattox.

As we've said, McAuliffe still has to get his vote out, and we will work hard to help him do that. But let's be plain: To win, the Cootch will have to gain three to four points a day, every day, between now and November 5. And he'd have to hope that the libertarian candidate's vote goes from 20 percent to 2 percent. And then, he'd have to pick off every undecided voter. Is all that really gonna happen? Hm. We cats PURR.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

But Will He Die With His Boots On?

By Zamboni

Who crosses your mind when you hear the words "last stand"? George Armstrong Custer?

Well, The Daily Beast has just assigned that scary noun to Ken "I Never Met a Fetus I Didn't Like More Than a Woman" Cuccinelli. Seems that, in their eyes, the Cootch is hurtling toward a defeat in Virginia's gubernatorial race — and Republicans are scratching their heads about how he got there after so much optimism for his prospects this spring.

Mind you, we cats are the first to say that it ain't over till it's over. The Terry McAuliffe campaign and the Virginia Democratic Party still have to get our vote out, so we count no chickens before they're hatched. But should Cootchy go down in flames as currently predicted, we're sure that the 2013 race will not even remotely resemble a "last stand."

Au contraire: Should he lose November 5, Cootchy's career path will rest on going to Hatemonger Think Tank World, publishing a couple of inflammatory papers (as in, the recent Heritage study on immigration reform and its alleged economic impacts) — and, then, pulling a John Ashcroft and showing up in the Cruz-Palin Administration as Attorney General or, at the least, Solicitor General.

And, given his relative youth, a future Supreme Court nominee.

Remember, we cats are not saying any of this Cruz-Palin nonsense will happen. And if we have anything to do with it, it won't. But these are the Cootch's post-election plans. Bet on it.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Journalism 101

By Miss Kubelik

The Associated Press has fired Bob Lewis, a veteran Virginia political reporter, for a jaw-dropping error he made about Terry McAuliffe a couple of weeks ago. It seems that if, like Lewis, you accuse somebody of lying to investigators just on the basis of the initials "TM" in a federal indictment, you'd better confirm that those initials actually belong to that person and not to somebody else.

This could have been easily accomplished, of course.

Lewis could have called a second and then a third source for confirmation, and then he could have called the McAuliffe campaign for comment. The campaign would have swiftly denied the story and provided solid proof that "TM" was not their candidate. Unfortunately, Lewis apparently did neither of these things. So AP immediately retracted the story, and now Lewis is out of a job.

We cats are generally sympathetic to the press and would have been satisfied with a two-week suspension instead of a sacking. But if there's one lesson that experienced and newbie journalists alike can take from this drama, it's this: You can't just accept right-wing spin.

Nope, you actually have to do some reporting. Just because you're conditioned to think something is true because of the way FOX "News" views the world, you still should be reporting facts — not assumptions. We cats HISS.

Our Surrogates Are Better Than Their Surrogates

By Sniffles

First Hillary, and now Bill: The 42nd President is coming to Virginia for a three-day campaign blitz for Terry McAuliffe.

So who does Ken Cuccinelli bring in? Mr. Yesterday's News in Republican politics, Fat Mike Huckabee. And Fat Mike was only able to draw "a couple hundred people" to Liberty "University" for the big Cootchy confab. Hm.

Which makes us wonder: Where, oh, where is the famous quitter from Alaska? Why isn't she winging her way to Richmond to tout her fellow teabagger for Governor? After all, she campaigned for that loser named Lonegan in New Jersey — and now Senator-elect Cory Booker is officiating same-sex marriages, God love him. What gives?

We think we know the answer. Sarah Palin could safely stump for Steve Lonegan because he was never supposed to win that Senate seat, and she could never be blamed for his loss. But campaigning for Cootchy is more politically dicey. This was a race that the GOP was once confident of winning, because it's an off-year and a Democrat is in the White House. But now — well, not so much.

We cats predict that Virginia won't see the likes of the famous quitter before November 5. But she'll do something less risky — like tweet her support for the Cootch a few days out, when it won't make any difference. After all, that's what unprincipled narcissists do.

P.S. Maybe Cootchy should bring back Ted Cruz? Well — maybe not.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Sorry, Chris Cillizza: The Worst Week In Washington Was Actually Had By...

By Baxter

We cats beg to differ with young Chris Cillizza, who hasn't been around as long as we have and who we think doesn't always know what he's talking about — bless his heart.

So we're starting a new My Cats Are Democrats feature: Sorry, Chris Cillizza. When the mood strikes us (and you know how moody we cats are), we will post who we really think should receive Cillizza's "Worst Week in Washington" award. Like, for example, this week.

Lamely, Cillizza names John Boehner this week's dubious winner. How boringly inside-the-Beltway. And how wrong: We believe that Boehner is well-pleased with how things have worked out for him, shutdown-wise. He won't go down in history as the Speaker who allowed default, and the teabag crazies in his caucus appreciate the fact that he acted like an idiot on their behalf, right down to the end. So his job is safe, which is all he cares about.

Therefore, here are the real winners of the Worst Week in Washington:
  • Larry Klayman — The guy who was too crazy even for the nutcases at Judicial Watch embarrassed himself and the teabag movement with an appalling speech at the Couple-'o-Hundred-Veterans march in Washington on Sunday, thereby introducing Obama Hate to the horrified country at large and setting back his cause about three centuries.
  • The Idiot Who Carried the Confederate Flag in Front of the White House — Once again, a classic case of someone who wouldn't have been noticed except for the whole shutdown thingie. Instead, the eyes of the nation were fixed on how awful these people are.
  • Grammar — Will the teabags ever learn that "We, the People" cannot be used in an objective sense [above]? They cannot wave signs that say "Stand Up For We, the People." But the Preamble to the Constitution doesn't say "Us, the People," does it?
  • The NRSC and NRCC — The lazy media might insist that the shutdown happened one year too early to have an impact on the 2014 elections, but we cats know better. The political world is in the heavy-fundraising-and-candidate-recruitment season right now. We're seeing Democrats step forward in key districts where the GOP is flailing — and while Republican donors are hanging onto their wallets.
  • Rancid Pieface — Where, oh where, has the Republican National Committee Chairman been while his party is imploding? We suspect that Pieface has spent the week pie-eyed. We cats PURR.

"The McConnell Treatment"? It Doesn't Exist.

By Zamboni

How medieval would Lyndon Johnson have gone on a member of his caucus who had strayed the way Ted Cruz has?

We cats think, pretty medieval. LBJ's retaliation for Cruz-like antics would have made "the Johnson treatment" look gentle.

But ah, those were the days, and they don't make 'em like Lyndon any more. Particularly on the Republican side of the aisle. But if Mitch McConnell were a man and not a mouse, he would throw Cruz out of the GOP caucus — leaving him high and dry with no committee assignments, unless he got them from the Democrats (ha, ha, ha).

If he were in true Johnson mode, McConnell would also fire Cruz from his "leadership" role at the National Republican Senatorial Committee — a position that Cruz holds even though he has repeatedly refused to endorse his fellow Texan John Cornyn for re-election.

Heck, if we were McConnell, we'd punish Cruz just for giving a press conference during the leader's key floor speech on the shutdown.

But McConnell doesn't have an LBJ bone in his body. Master of the Senate, he's not. We cats PURR.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

What Ronnie Hath Wrought

By Miss Kubelik

Somewhere in rural Pennsylvania yesterday, we cats saw a bumper sticker that said, "It's Obama's fault."

How handy. Whatever "it" is — the government shutdown, closed war memorials, creeping socialism — blame Barack Obama. In fact, the teabags are even saying, impeach him for "it." (Goodness gracious. The GOP must be so frustrated that 44 doesn't have a thing for interns.)

But back to that bumper sticker. Thinking about the right wing's fear and loathing of our current Commander in Chief, and checking out the various how-did-we-get-here laments of the Beltway's opinion makers, we know better.

It's Reagan's fault. Ronald Reagan was a co-architect and lead builder of America's current House Divided.

Yes, we know that Ronnie wasn't the first Republican President to get himself elected by encouraging Americans to resent and distrust one another. (That "honor" goes to Richard Nixon and his Southern Strategy.) But Reagan honed it to a fine art: Speechifying on "states' rights" near Philadelphia, Mississippi, site of the Freedom Rider murders; visiting the Nazi cemetery at Bitburg; whipping up outrage at mythical "welfare queens" who, he claimed, fraudulently collected assistance checks while driving around in Cadillacs.

It's just a short leap from vile crap like that to a guy waving the Confederate battle flag outside the White House. And if you visit today's fulminating right-wing websites, you can see that Reagan's welfare queen is alive and well. She's enrolling in Obamacare.

So let's be honest. Ronald Reagan was not the wily, genial if somewhat doddering President that Republicans (and journalists with bad memories) worship today. And although the current GOP constantly violates Reagan's 11th commandment and has no clue about how he actually governed, his hateful legacy informs everything they do.

We wish Ronnie had taken a page from his predecessor's book and built Habitat for Humanity homes instead. But we're left with his House Divided. And we all know what the 16th President said happens to houses like that

They Don't Resemble That Remark

By Sniffles

Sigh. Here we go again. In trying to describe John Boehner's relationship with his caucus, a Republican Congresman has reached for that tired old cliche, "herding cats."

We cats resent the implication. Because believe us, while teabags and their Republican enablers may be the majority in the House of Representatives, they are definitely not cats. They are knaves and fools who are bringing our country to the brink of ruin.

Also, "herding cats" implies that under normal circumstances, the herder has some talent in managing the herdees. John Boehner has none. He doesn't lead from behind, or from any direction.

So do us a favor, GOP: Leave us cats out of this. You have a long, long way to go before you're as superior as we are. For which we HISS at you.

Monday, October 14, 2013

Leaving The Land Of The Free (And The Home Of The [GOP] Turkeys)

By Baxter

Americans are notorious for ignoring stuff that goes on in the rest of the world. For example, how many of us know that a cyclone hit India this weekend, and 800,000 people evacuated from its path? And of course, how many realize that today is Thanksgiving Day in Canada?

No matter. This is just a news peg to announce that we cats will be heading up to the True North tomorrow — hoping that the lines at Customs will be clear by the time we cross the border.

As always, we'll post when we can. How could we not? Thanks to John Boehner and the teabaggers who torment him, the United States is teetering on the brink of disaster. So we'll have to keep tabs on that. And by the time we get back, the GOP's ever-sinking approval rating will probably be lower than January temperature in Nunavut. (That's in negative territory, folks.) We cats PURR.

Virginia GOP: Feeling Grave, But No Gravity

By Zamboni

The Virginia Republican Party is so unmoored these days that three weeks before the gubernatorial election, they're wailing to The Washington Post and sniping at one another in print.

"We have nominated a ticket that Virginians don't want to buy," laments former Representative Tom Davis (R-VA). "It’s uncommon but not unheard of for what I consider to be poseurs to attack a campaign before it’s over," Ken Cuccinelli's campaign spokesman Chris LaCivita shot back.

"Poseurs"? Really? We cats never imagined that a six-term Republican Congressman would rank as a "poseur." But, anyway.

What's happening in Virginia is the same classic disconnect that's afflicted the national GOP: The libertarians and tea party crazies control the grass roots — while the establishment-slash-money people think they can bend said crazies to their will. That illusion was crushed in the Old Dominion when the moneybags couldn't keep the teabags from holding a party nominating convention instead of a primary.

So many of Cootchy's present problems trace back to that confab of freaks, zealots and haters that it's hard to know where to start. (But think "E.W. Jackson," and you get the idea.) Meanwhile, we ask again, where is Rancid Pieface in all of this? He's just across the Potomac River from a state that everyone says is going to be crucial in 2014 and 2016 — but he is silent and invisible. Perhaps this is to blame.

Ah, well, not our problem. We just urge Team McAuliffe to keep their feet firmly planted on the ground, and Get That Vote Out. Which will make us cats PURR.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Where Have You Gone, Rancid Pieface?

By Miss Kubelik

The nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

Okay, we cats are not comparing the chairman of the Republican National Committee to Joltin' Joe DiMaggio. But we're wondering where ol' Rancid has been during this whole GOP-manufactured government shutdown thing. The man otherwise known as "Reince Preibus" has been mighty quiet.

Aside from a lonely tweet in support of Ted Cruz's faux filibuster on September 24, we're having trouble finding a lot of shutdown hits on Google about Mr. Pieface. Sure, he went on MSNBC to pick a fight with Thomas Roberts, but we see nothing after October 3-4 — more than a week ago.

So, do we need any more proof that there's a civil war in the Republican Party? Because if there's no civil war, the party chair would be on every talking-head show possible, denying it to the skies. Instead, Rancid is silent, because he can't take sides between the teabags and the establishment/money people.

Poor Mr. Pieface. We cats are sure that the big GOP donors called him after his Cruz tweet and read him the riot act. We also think this might be true. Which makes us cats PURR.

Bad Governance, Great Ad

Friday, October 11, 2013

So She Didn't Win The Nobel...

But here's a nice consolation prize.

Bohener Breaks Incredibly Bad, Part II

By Sniffles

Well, despite the devastating new NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll that shows just how effectively the Republican Party is committing suicide, that side of the aisle just hasn't gotten the message. They're still saying incredibly stupid and absurd things, like how healthcare reform is comparable to slavery.

Goodness gracious. We had no idea that the individual mandate — a Republican idea from the get-go — was the same as keeping an entire race of people in bondage for hundreds of years.

But we cats say, fine: Have at it, Grand Old Party. Because stupid behavior like that has yielded survey results that pollsters call "jaw-dropping" — and which apparently drove Congressional Republicans, hat in hand, to the White House yesterday. And when Boehner and Cantor did not emerge from that meeting with guns blazing, we knew they knew the jig was up. (We also love the fact that the President is refusing to save them from themselves.)

What else do we love? The fact that poll was conducted from October 7-9. Which means that since not much has happened yet to change the trajectory of the story, today's GOP numbers are probably even worse.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

We're Feeling Too Much Happiness

Alice Munro has won the Nobel Prize in Literature. We cats PURR.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Tony Kushner, Please Write The Script That Saves Us From This

By Baxter

Under normal circumstances, we cats would be celebrating the fact that economically, the three most powerful people in the world today are women: Christine Lagarde, Angela Merkel and — subject to her confirmation as head of the Fed — Janet Yellen.

Instead, we're fixated on an economic deadline that has us all quaking in our boots. And for good reason.

Despite the illusions of the teabags in Congress, the world agrees that if the US defaults on its debt, economic chaos will ensue. If Congress fails to raise the debt limit, what will the President do?

We cats majored in political science, so balance-of-power fights between the branches of government generally amuse us. This one, though, doesn't. It's too scary.

Yesterday, President Obama — who in his past life taught Constitutional law at the University of Chicago — said that he didn't think he had the power to raise the debt ceiling under the 14th Amendment. To do so, he said, would introduce too much uncertainty into the markets. How could people have confidence in the full faith and credit of the United States, he asked, if his decision to assert it resulted in a Supreme Court case? It would, he said, be like trying to buy a house but not being sure that your seller actually held title to the property.

We cats find that argument convincing. At the same time, though, powerful voices are arguing that the President would have emergency powers to step in if Congress failed to raise the debt limit — because by failing to do so, Congress would be acting unconstitutionally.

This blows our furry little minds. On the one hand, we cats understand that if a President sees economic calamity — a form of warfare — being visited on the nation, would he not be constitutionally bound to prevent it? In short, would Congressional unwillingness to raise the debt ceiling rise to the level of unarmed rebellion and insurrection? This is the kind of question that no President has had to deal with since the Civil War.

And who would have thought that 150 years later, an African-American President would be grappling with something like this?

We just hope that, whatever his decision, President Obama listens to the spirit of Abraham Lincoln instead of the spirit of James Buchanan. Because the teabaggers — with their intransigence against the government, their hatred of a black commander-in-chief, and their flirtation with secession — remind us too much of the worst, not better, angels of our nature. We cats HISS.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

The Land We Belong To Is Grand(er) Now

By Zamboni

Right-wing Republican Senator James Inhofe of Oklahoma has had emergency quadruple-bypass heart surgery. Our first thought was whether the specter of a first-ever US default gave him a heart attack.

Answer: Nope. First, we haven't seen any evidence that Inhofe is worried about default. Second, it appears he had not a heart attack but a blockage that was found during a routine visit to the doctor.

Which got us cats thinking. Hm! Senator Inhofe was able to visit his doctor! That's because like his 99 Senate colleagues and the 435 members of the House, he has excellent healthcare coverage. Checkups require a little of his time and a minor co-pay. But Americans without health insurance and who can't afford preventive care are forced to neglect their medical problems until they get bad enough to land them in the emergency room.

So, how did Inhofe vote on the Affordable Care Act? Do we need to ask? And do we need to speculate on how much money an uninsured person would have to pay for the quadruple bypass that Inhofe's just had? (Suffice to say it would have bankrupted the person for life.)

Unless, of course, the person had the good fortune to be covered by Obamacare. Which, no thanks to Inhofe and Tom Coburn and their Sooner State Republican friends, even Oklahomans can get.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Note To Pete Sessions: Mangez La Merde

Par Mlle. Kubelik

Of all the foolish antics the Republicans have pulled off recently, this one really makes us cats hack up a hairball.

GOP Congressman Pete Sessions visited the World War II memorial — House Republicans' favorite prop for the evils of the shutdown they themselves caused — and was confronted by a visitor, who asked him why the House didn't just bring a clean CR to a vote.

"Look, we're not French," Sessions said. "We don't surrender."

Does anybody besides us cats see how inappropriate that was? Do Republicans not understand that the World War II memorial salutes not only all the GIs who served in the European theater, but particularly those who landed on the beaches of Normandy on June 6, 1944 to free France from Nazi tyranny?

Does Congressman Sessions know how many Americans died on D-Day to liberate France from Hitler? We cats know: More than 6,000.

Can Congressman Sessions write that many notes of apology to American families in the next few days? Can he apologize to the entire country of France? If not, we suggest that Congressman Sessions refrain from making stupid, offensive, ignorant remarks — or resign from office.

The Trouble With (Going After) Harry

By Sniffles

First, let us cats just say that any day we're talking about Ken Cuccinelli and sodomy here in Virginia is a good day for Terry McAuliffe.

All righty, then. Now that we've gotten that off our furry chests, let's turn our attention to a silly story in POLITICO about how the Republicans are dying to take out Harry Reid in 2016. POLITICO is agog — in the naive, sloppy-reportage way that only they can be — about whether the GOP will succeed in defeating the wily 73-year-old Mormon and former boxer who swears he's running for re-election.

We cats say, please. Did no one at the House of VandeHai think to ask whether the Republican Senatorial Campaign Committee is really willing to pour vast resources into Nevada when they have the following truly competitive races to worry about?
  • Kelly Ayotte — New Hampshire will vote Democratic in the 2016 Presidential, and believe us, she's scared.
  • Pat Toomey — Pennsylvania, same story.
  • Rob Portman — Ohio, ditto.
  • Dan Coats — Indiana will probably go Republican in November, but Coats is 100 years old and could be vulnerable.
  • Chuck Grassley — Iowa will go Democratic, and Grassley is probably 100 years older than Coats.
  • Mark Kirk — Illinois will go blue, of course. And who knows what physical shape Kirk will be in come 2016?
  • Ron Johnson — Wisconsin's stupider Senator is Mr. Teabag in a blue state. Not a good fit.
  • Roy Blunt — Okay, Missouri is probably red.
  • John Boozman — Will Arkansas stay red with a Clinton on the ticket? You be the judge! Our phones are open.
  • Rand Paul — Let's reserve judgment on Rand until we see what happens to Mitch McConnell in 2014. Which at the moment looks kinda dicey.
  • Richard Burr — Thanks to Pat McCrory and the teabags, North Carolina is in total turmoil. But as with Kentucky, let's see what happens with Kay Hagan's re-election first.
  • Marco Rubio — 2016 could be iffy for Baby Marco. His star has fallen with the haters since he moved on immigration. And can the GOP afford to defend him to the hilt, even at the cost of Nevada?
  • Johnny Isakson — Georgia is probably purple only in our dreams. But it's getting there. Check back with us on this if Michelle Nunn wins next year.
  • David Vitter — Louisiana has known no shortage of scandalous Governors, and if Black Book Davie decides he wants to run, his Senate seat could be open. Hm!
  • John McCain — He's retiring, right? Somebody please let us know. Because Arizona might not be far behind New Mexico, red-to-blue-wise.
Okay, that's an eye-glazing list, and we've probably even missed a couple of races. But our point is simply that the Republicans will have precious few resources to shift to Nevada in 2016. Which makes us cats PURR — but at POLITICO's lazy reporting, we HISS.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Squish City

By Baxter

Last night, in a speech to some far-right, anti-everything "family" organization in Richmond, Ted Cruz praised Ken "Always Favor The Fetus Over The Woman" Cuccinelli and called him "fearless."

As he is on everything else, Ted Cruz is wrong.

The Cootch, already trailing in our Governor's race and frantic about losing federal-worker-rich Northern Virginia, made 10 quick minutes of remarks to the "Family" Foundation and ran for the door before Cruz could even follow him to the lectern. And refused to have his picture taken with him. Goodness gracious!

Cruz — who, although he's Canadian, thinks he can run for President in 2016 — is no doubt aware of Virginia's importance to the Republican primary process. So after Cootchy ducked out, Cruz stood up and said nice things about the guy who dissed him.

So, there you have it, teabags: Ken Cuccinelli is the kind of Republican Cruz loves to call out — a "squish." And so, by the way, is Ted Cruz. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: A Squishable version of toast — which, incidentally, Cootchy appears to be for November 5.)

Cuccinelli Tries To Avoid Ted Cruz's Embrace, Gets It Anyway

“Let me say for a second how proud I am of my friend Ken Cuccinelli. Ken is smart. He’s principled. And he’s fearless. And that last characteristic in particular is a rare, rare commodity in elected life."

Saturday, October 5, 2013

A Quckie: Hagel Is Hot (Like Our Weather)

We cats were out canvassing for Terry McAuliffe today, and after all our hard work we're ready to curl up and go to sleep. We just wish we could do it in Chuck Hagel's lap. Meow!

Friday, October 4, 2013

Shutdown, Day 4: Republicans Hate On Cruz

By Zamboni

We cats are highly amused by a story that's leaked out about GOP Senators ripping into Ted Cruz behind closed doors.

As always, we wanna know who did the leaking. A panicked blue-stater like Kelly Ayotte? Or an aide who'd like to start getting paid again? We can't know. But whoever tipped off the media said that Ayotte, "furious" about attacks by the Senate Conservatives Fund, started what one Senator described as an anti-Cruz "lynch mob."

(Hm. Not a very sensitive characterization. We doubt that Cruz actually was terrorized or feared for his life as a literal noose was thrown around his neck. In fact, we're sure he reveled in it.)

Ah. well — since there were no cameras present, we're left to speculate. And, of course, enjoy the hilarity. That's because when Cruz got elected and the hapless Senate GOP was trying to figure out how to control him, they appointed him Vice Chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee. In the words of the famous quitter from Alaska, how's that working out for ya? We cats PURR.

P.S. Vice Chairman Cruz will join Ken "I Only Support Affirmative Action If It's For Fetuses" Cuccinelli at a right-wing gala in Richmond on Saturday. Turn out for the protest!

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Shutdown, Day 3-1/2: "I'm Not Ashamed"

By Miss Kubelik

We cats admit we posted at one point about the World War II vets who stormed their memorial in Washington amid the federal shutdown.

But then, we noticed that teabags like Michele Bachmann were trying to milk to event for all it was worth — despite the fact that it was the Republicans in Congress who were responsible for the shutdown that closed the memorials. So we deleted the post, because we didn't want to contribute to the GOP spin.

Oh, we of little faith. It turns out that a teabag Republican Congressman from Texas had the gall to upbraid a park ranger for the problem he himself created. And not only did she stand up to him, Vice President Biden called the ranger to congratulate her.

We've learned our lesson. Never put it past Republicans to exploit an event they caused in the first place. And never assume that no one will stand strong in the face of GOP hypocrisy.

Shutdown, Day 3: Things Get Even Weirder, So It Must Be Time To Check On The Freeps

By Sniffles

Watching TV today, we cats were reminded — and not pleasantly — of the time we got caught in a horrible traffic jam on US 1 in the Florida Keys because of a fatal accident some miles ahead. When we finally were able to inch past it, we saw a body lying on the side of the road, covered with a tarp.

Today's news was like looking at that lifeless body and knowing that it was America. And that it was John Boehner's and the teabaggers' fault. (Not to mention CNN's Ashleigh Banfield, who was deservedly called out by Senator Barbara Boxer for saying "your President" and thus contributing to the poisoned divide that plagues our political discourse.)

And then a woman tried to ram her way into the White House and ended up shot dead on Capitol Hill. Can things get any stranger?

Actually, yes, they can. The hapless Speaker of the House, in private, has apparently contradicted his public statements and said he'll forestall default by relying on Democratic and non-teabag Republicans to raise the debt limit.

We cats have no idea if Boehner is serious or if this is just another nefarious ruse. But we figured that it was way past time to check on our right-wing nutcase friends over at Free Republic to see how they were taking the news. Here's a sampling. Enjoy!
  • "Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory........again. Kick his butt out!"
  • "The Wall Street boys laid down the law yesterday and it looks like bohner [sic] is falling into step."
  • "Boner is consistent in this. He plays to lose. It’s his only demonstrated strategy so far."
  • "Was he sober when he said it? Heck, does Boehner even remember saying it? This is the kind of representation you get when the public is stupid beyond words."
  • "Either replace Boehner or have Sarah start the new party."
  • "Anybody want to start a betting pool on the Boehner Cave Countdown Clock?"
  • "I got news for you, Johnny Boy. The default is coming, if not today, then tomorrow."
Wow, that last one really is amazing. The Freeps hate Obama so much that they're willing to let the U.S. (and the world) economy fail. And they used to call us unpatriotic! We cats HISS.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Shutdown, Day 2: Collateral Damage

By Baxter

Gosh, the government shutdown is less than 48 hours old, and the media are already noticing that Ken "I Love Fetuses But Hate Actual Children" Cuccinelli is on the hotseat about it.

Was it only yesterday that we cats predicted this? Indeed, yes. The teabags in Congress are so bent on destroying Obamacare that they forgot they might destroy their fellow traveler in the Old Dominion instead.

It apparently never dawned on them that Northern Virginia is home to hundreds of thousands of federal workers who are now furloughed without paychecks. And that the very law they've closed the government over is one that Cootchy sued to overturn before the ink on the President's signature was even dry.

Cootch has always been unfazed about the impact of his objectionable policy positions. But this "Whoops-we-have-lots-of-angry-federal-workers-here" problem has obviously gotten his attention, because he's trying to squirm out of it. Sorry, Ken: You have to sleep in the anti-Obamacare bed that you so lovingly made.

Meanwhile, a few Republican Congressmen from Virginia — Frank Wolf, Scott Rigell, Ron Wittman and Randy Forbes — have figured it out, and have stated their support for a clean CR. But we don't think they're doing it for Cootchy's sake. They probably just want their livid constituents to leave them alone. We cats PURR.

Ya Gotta Belize

By Zamboni

Yesterday, we cats met somebody who was traveling back from a CPAC meeting in St. Louis.

Wait — CPAC just met in St. Louis? Who knew? But yes, they did. And it was just another reminder of the different worlds we blue and red Americans live in.

Here this woman was probably consumed with her CPACkery — rearranging her schedule, taking time from work and family, all so she could sit in a hotel ballroom and listen to yahoos like Rick "Contraception Is Not Okay" Santorum and Rick "My Wife Supports Abortion" Perry tell her stuff she already thinks she believes — and the whole time, we cats were going about our business, blissfully unaware.

Well, no matter. Suffice to say that we did not initiate the conversation, and just as she started winding up with a rant against Barack Obama, we cut her off — warning her that we were big fans of our President and that she would just be wasting her time.

Did she launch into a parting tirade about the Affordable Care Act and how great the teabaggers in Congress were? Surprisingly, no. She just said she'd "had it with socialism" and was moving to Belize. "Great," we said. "Good luck with that."

She stopped talking to us. But if we'd been willing to continue the encounter, we cats would have been curious to know how many of her fellow CPACkers and teabags are contemplating a similar move. It certainly wouldn't do the Republicans, who are already at a demographic disadvantage, any favors. But we're a little worried about the unsuspecting people of Belize.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Shutdown, Day 1: We'd Rather Be Us Than Them

By Miss Kubelik

We cats traveled into D.C. today, and couldn't help but notice the diminished traffic. Parking at the commuter rail station was a breeze, and the neighborhood around Capitol Hill, where the Smithsonian and all kinds of federal buildings are, was pretty ghostly.

Still and all, even with those frustrated federal workers losing pay, we think it wasn't a half-bad day. Here's why.

Despite the Republicans' desperate zeal to shut the government down over the Affordable Care Act, Obamacare websites were overwhelmed today with people trying to sign up. (And in some cases, maybe dying to sign up.) It seems to us cats that with its rush to enroll, the country is voting against the Republicans in droves. And we still want a responsible journalist to ask the GOP why they're against Americans getting access to affordable health coverage.

The Cook Political Report has moved the Virginia Governor's race from "Tossup" to "Leans Democratic." Meanwhile, Ken "Let's Give Drivers Licenses to Fetuses" Cuccinelli is bringing Ted Cruz into the state to campaign for him this weekend. Yep, that'll go over real well with all those furloughed federal employees who live in the Old Dominion.

Transvaginal Bob McDonnell gave a press conference yesterday in which he spanked his fellow Republicans for the shutdown. We cats were struck by how irrelevant Bob has become. Had he not destroyed himself with Giftgate, he could be positioning himself as a solid, reasonable Republican alternative for 2016. Instead, he's toast. Hilarious.

We cats think that among the many unintended consequences of the government shutdown, the 2013 election in Virginia is one that the Republican Party will regret for a very long time. Which makes us PURR.

(IMAGE: I wanna sign up for Obamacare!)