Thursday, March 31, 2016

Freepers: 40 Lashes, Jail Or The Chair For Women Who Get Abortions (And Oh, By The Way, We Think The Pro-Lifers Agree)

By Sniffles

The only thing that bugs us about Donald Trump's "let's punish women for having abortions" statement is that the ensuing media coverage is making right-wing anti-choice extremists like Rafael Cruz, Jr., John Kasich and the Susan B. Anthony List look mainstream.

Because oh, goodness, all they need to do is disagree with Donald Trump, and suddenly they are reasonable on this issue — when for years, they've been working nonstop to deny women their Constitutional right to self-determination and accessible, affordable reproductive healthcare. This drives us crazy.

To confirm our senses, we decided to check on our always-reliable right-wing friends over at Free Republic, to see how they felt about jailing women who terminate pregnancies. As we suspected, they're all for it:

"[Trump] gave EXACTLY the answer that the hardline pro-lifers have always said was the correct one."

"Country of laws, unless you are murdering your helpless fetus. At that point you become the victim?"

"If abortion becomes illegal (that was the question) there shouldn't be legal consequences for a woman who breaks the law? My logical mind is reeling." 

"Why does the woman get off the hook for killing a baby?"

"Didn’t realize the woman was off the hook with pro-lifers, especially if it became illegal."

And the piece de la resistance:

"If abortion becomes illegal, why wouldn't she be charged with murder if she gets an abortion? She is as guilty as the abortionist. Women are free and equal feminists. She must be charged. Let's make abortion illegal and save those babies and throw the feminists in jail. It's a win-win."

Oh, why don't journalists ask Republican candidates and office-holders more about the GOP's crazy base? On the other hand, if they had, perhaps the Republican Party would have cracked up long before this. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

(IMAGE: A suffragette being force-fed in prison. Bet the Freeps would have supported that, too.)

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Good Signage

We don't know who this North Carolina guy in the bad striped shorts is — but we like his sign so much, we want to shake his hand and give him a Daniel Webster cigar. Talk about succinct! We cats PURR.


By Baxter

Now that Donald Trump's top thug Corey Lewandowski has been arrested for battery (and yes, folks, a notice to appear constitutes an arrest), we cats are pondering what other fights will break out between now and July, when the Republican National Convention officially convenes.

And on that topic, New York magazine has a helpful recap of all the heretofore ho-hum processes that a non-contested convention entails, but which a Trump-Cruz-Kasich-everybody-else fight could throw into total mayhem: speaker slots, platform planks, speech content, greeters, credentials, rules, et cetera.

They are all logistical details that organizers quietly decide in the weeks and months prior to the actual event — which, as New York points out, is usually a "highly choreographed infomercial" for the putative nominee. But that's in normal times. In the Trump vs. Establishment world of 2016, every little organizational decision that the Republicans will have to make will become a "struggle for power."

The article is right. But it managed to forget a few areas in which even more havoc could be wreaked. To that end, therefore, we cats respectfully submit:

Volunteers — No matter which party is convening, a host city often provides legions of friendly local folks to help with on-site logistics. Is it possible that people will be so offended by Trump that no one will want to sign up?

Tickets — Who will get to pack the hall with donors, pooh-bahs and other assorted onlookers to wave signs and applaud? (Note: We're not talking delegates, who are credentialed. We're talking wallpaper.) We can't picture the Ryans and Piefaces of the world giving all the skyboxes and balcony tickets away.

No-Shows — What if the GOP's leading lights and up-and-comers fail to show up? For example, will Kelly Ayotte or Ben Sasse be there? Susana Martinez? Charlie Baker? Will Chuck Grassley attend, or will he feel pressed to spend the summer attending barbecues back in Iowa? Who will the party want the talking heads and floor correspondents to interview? The stable may be a lot emptier than they thought.

Diversity — Although always a loser at Republican conventions, diversity and inclusion could take a special hit, thanks to Trump's unique ability to offend nearly every demographic and minority group on the planet. RNC 2016 will be the whitest, oldest, male-est convention ever — and in the middle of Cleveland! An amazing thought. We cats PURR and HISS at the same time.

Monday, March 28, 2016

Contested Delegates, Contested Convention?

By Miss Kubelik

Somebody buy Donald Trump a guide to English grammar! He's fussing about how, despite his win in the Louisiana primary, he's getting "less" delegates than Rafael Cruz, Jr.

Well, okay, we're not really surprised that he's challenged that way. Trump's speech patterns are the weirdest we've heard since the Famous Quitter from Alaska and her word salads burst onto the national scene back in 2008.

But there's another thing Trump apparently isn't good at, which will we think will badly bite him in the butt: He's come late to the delegate selection party. Caught short by the Louisiana situation, he first threatened to sue (his favorite thing) but now seems to be willing to merely contest. He is shocked at the "unfair" allocation process!

We hate to break it to Trump, but what's going on in terms of how delegates are selected is nothing new. They are arcane levels set by state parties or state law. In fact, we saw battles like this back in 1960 and 1980 (with the Democrats) and 1964 and 1976 (with the Republicans). There's even a movie — remember Cliff Robertson picking off delegates in The Best Man? (One of our favorites.)

So here's what we don't understand: Donald Trump, in the words of Donald Trump himself, possesses the world's best brain. He's old enough to remember the elections we just cited. He has his pick of political advisers (not that he needs them, of course, because he's a genius). So how can he claim to be a victim of this tried and true tactic? It is all silly, like the Republican race itself. We cats HISS — but if it all leads to a yuuuuuugge fight in Cleveland, then we PURR.

Lest We Furr-get: These Silly Cat Fights Aren't New

By Zamboni

We cats are thrilled that Donald Trump and Rafael Cruz, Jr. are still deep into their dust-up over who has the prettier wife. Not only does it make Republicans despair, but it's one more wasted week for them (with only 32 weeks to go!).

But it's hilarious that both Trump and Cruz are so upset about these attacks. Cruz even said, "It is inappropriate, it is wrong, it is frankly disgusting to see a candidate attacking the spouse of another."

We guess Rafael wasn't paying attention back in 1992, when the GOP went after Hillary Clinton with abandon. Speaker after speaker at their Houston convention slammed her as a radical feminist who would "liken marriage and the family to slavery." And we guess Rafael was focused elsewhere when, after the Clintons moved into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, the right wingers accused the First Lady of everything from murdering Vince Foster to hanging sex-toy ornaments on the White House Christmas tree.

We hope that Secretary Clinton hears these current Republican squabbles and laughs — not just because they are pathetic and lame, but because she knows first-hand that everything old is new again. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Openly Idiotic

By Sniffles

Recently, we cats were in our local grocery store and saw a fellow shopper openly carrying a gun. Determining that he was not law enforcement, we couldn't wait to get out of there. What if he found a price that was not to his liking? What if somebody accidentally bumped his cart? Bullets could fly.

Of course, we later wrote to the grocery chain in question, asking why guns would be necessary in their store aisles. You can just imagine how inadequate their response was.

So, on the heels of that experience, we are interested to note that Republicans are signing petitions to open-carry at the GOP convention in July. The Quicken Loans Arena has a policy against weapons, and GOP sympathizers are not happy about it. It makes them "sitting ducks, utterly helpless against evil-doers and criminals," one petitioner averred.

Really? We cats think that this petitioner is paranoid about black people and liberals — neither of whom are known as gun-toting constituencies, and one of whom is better known for getting shot while unarmed than for wielding weaponry against an innocent populace. But, anyway.

If the GOP conventioneers insist on open-carrying in Cleveland, then we cats hope that every network refuses to broadcast live from the arena. Just a podium cam and studio commentators should suffice — otherwise, reporters could get killed. (In fact, Megyn Kelly could be the first journalist shot at the RNC.)

Meanwhile, what is there for us Democratic cats to complain about? Delegates with AK-47s cheering on Donald Trump? What a great visual for suburban moms and millennial voters! We cats PURR.

UPDATE: It turns out that the petition was started by an anti-gun activist who claims he was making a point, not a joke. Just goes to show you: You never know if what you're looking at on the Interwebs is real. But we cats want to assure you that we are cats and we really do write this blog!

Trumpism, Cherryism

By Baxter

Tonight on "Hockey Night in Canada," the infamous Don Cherry eulogized Rob Ford — a clown, misogynist, drug addict and buffoon. As if Ford were a serious person who deserved respect and recognition. This drives us cats crazy.

Not just because Don Cherry is pretty much of a caricature himself — but because we are sick and tired of right wingers in the sports world holding up people as paragons of perfection when they are, in reality, sorely, sorely lacking. Several folks come to mind. Probably the first is Ty Cobb, who was not only a dirty player for the Tigers and the Phillies but an unreconstructed racist.

Even so, Cobb, who later came to accept blacks and whites playing together, pales in comparison to the San Diego Padres players of the 1980s — Eric Show and Dave Dravecky — who were open members of the John Birch Society during their careers.

Which is disgusting. Let us not allow the traditions of professional sports, whether hockey or baseball, to obscure the vile beliefs that some of its most stellar athletes — or fans — profess.

Rob Ford, an icon to hockey legend Don Cherry, was a right-wing demagogue whose destructive addictions killed him. Eric Show and Dave Dravecky, as John Birchers, believed that the Holocaust never happened, that blacks were genetically inferior to whites, and that women should stay barefoot and pregnant. Show died of a drug overdose in 1994. Dravecky has yet to repent. Cherry — well, Cherry, like Donald Trump, will never admit he's been wrong.

We cats have no problem with praising people for personal courage, combativeness or competitiveness. But for us, ignorance, bigotry and cowardice trump all. And yes, that's a pun. We cats HISS.

Friday, March 25, 2016


By Miss Kubelik

We all know how devout and holier-than-thou Republicans are, especially their crazy teabag base. They're the ones who are passing ridiculous laws against gays (in North Carolina) and women needing abortions (in Indiana) — because golly gosh, in the GOP's view, if those evil folks would just turn to Jesus, everything would be great. And we're sure that today, they're all flocking to church — since it's Good Friday.

Except for their leading Presidential candidates, who are furiously tweeting against each other's wives, alleging extramarital affairs, and slinging silly names like "henchmen" and "sniveling coward." (We cats had no idea anyone used those terms outside of The Perils of Pauline, but hey.)

What a way to spend the day on which their Lord died for their sins. It strikes even us as unseemly. And it caps off a week that, thanks to Robert Bentley, was already kinda embarrassing for them. So we can just imagine how Rancid Pieface and the Republican elite feel about the state of their so-called party. How in the world are they going to nominate a candidate and unify behind him after all this?

Thanks very much, GOP, but we Democrats are glad to stick with our side — the grownups. In the meantime, if you're feeling a little down about all this, we can only suggest you take Monty Python's best advice: Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life. (And PURR.)

Thursday, March 24, 2016


By Zamboni

We cats don't care how much Paul Ryan works out at the gym, he's still afraid to get in a fight with Donald Trump.

Ryan gave a so-called big speech this week, allegedly decrying the tone of today's politics (ahem, today's Republican politics), but without mentioning Trump by name. Goodness gracious, what a chicken. Even Willard Mitt Romney, is his big speech decrying, et cetera, condemned The Donald specifically.

Ryan's waffling is particularly despicable because, like others, he continues to insist that he'll back whomever the party nominates. "Because I have a special role as chair of the Republican convention, I stay neutral and I support the nominee," he's said.

Neutral? Really? We cats are wondering how far this "neutrality" will go. What if there are riots in Cleveland, as Trump has predicted? What if Corey Lewandowski doesn't just bruise a reporter, but breaks somebody's bone? What if a Trump supporter calls President Obama the n-word, or Chuck Schumer the k-word? At what point will Paul Ryan call these people out for what they are? At any point?

We understand that GOP leaders have had it both ways on the rabidly racist haters who make up the Republican base for so long, that they're not good at this. But it's time they started. In the meantime, we cats HISS.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

The Clown Car Loses A Passenger

By Sniffles

Feeling a little bummed by the news today? If so, here's a bright spot that we can all hang onto: Rob Ford is now the ex-mayor of Toronto in more ways than one.

Why are we cats unmoved by his death? Because Rob Ford was a clown and a disgrace who leaves an unfortunate legacy: He helped pave the way for buffoonery in politics.

We cats are not naive, but to borrow a phrase, we still believe in a place called Hope. In short, despite everything, we think there's a certain nobility to public service. Rob Ford and jackasses like him left a stain on that — and, among voters just coming of age during his term as mayor, he helped foster the impression that elected officials could be fat blowhards, drug addicts and fools. That's really bad. As in, not good.

In the sacred (to him) name of lower taxes, Rob Ford abused the very idea that government could ever do any good for anybody. His behavior breeds cynicism, and we cats hate that. Add the fact that Rob Ford served as a precursor to Donald Trump, and we hate it even more.

So, Rob Ford, please do not rest in peace. We will not miss you, and we hope that any candidate who follows in your footsteps — acting like an idiot and a joke — meets a sudden and awful political death. We cats HISS.

Monday, March 21, 2016

On The Eve Of Whatever Tuesday Tomorrow Is...

By Baxter

As the 2016 primaries and caucuses roll along, it might be time to ask two important questions: Where has Hillary won so far? And where has Bernie won?

It's important because of how much the swing states will matter in the fall. So, class, let's get right to it.

Let's begin by saying the the traditional swing states are: Colorado, Florida, Iowa, Michigan, Minnesota, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, Ohio, Virginia and Wisconsin. Agreed? Please let us know if we forgot one.

Of those 11 states, two have yet to vote: New Mexico and Wisconsin. But of the other nine states that have held primaries or caucuses, Hillary has won five. And she's won three of the five biggest (Florida, Ohio and Virginia). So who do we think is going to be more competitive and have better ground games in those swing states come this November?

Now let's talk about expanding the map: That is, what states Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton could likely wrest away from God-knows-whomever-the-Republicans-will-nominate. Hillary has already won the primaries in Arkansas, Georgia, Missouri, North Carolina and Texas. (Arizona and Indiana haven't voted yet.)

So, okay, the Democrats probably aren't going to carry Texas this year. But based on Clinton's primary-season performance thus far, mark your calendars for some pretty impressive pickups once Bernie finally packs it in and we all unite to prevent Trumpageddon. Personally, we cats are looking forward to it. And we PURR.

Saturday, March 19, 2016

Crossing The Line: If The Republicans Won't Say It, We Will

By Miss Kubelik

We cats are no fans of the Mormon Church or Willard Mitt Romney, but we have to say that Donald Trump's latest attack on Willard's religion is highly vulgar and offensive.

We realize that fewer and fewer things are off limits in politics compared to even a generation ago. But for Trump to go after Romney's Mormonism in Utah seems beyond reprehensible. It's a cheap, tawdry, nonsenical, mean-spirited, personal attack. Is there any way it could cost The Donald the Utah caucuses? How fitting if it did.

If the Republican establishment can look at Trump now and say, "Yeah, I can live with this," then shame on them. What an indictment of the Grand Old Party's total lack of character. We cats HISS.

(IMAGE: The Mormon Temple. "Look! The Emerald City is closer and prettier than ever!")

Friday, March 18, 2016

Angry? Who's Angry?

By Zamboni

It's still eight months till Election Day, but we cats are already tired of politicians and punditheads speaking darkly of the anger that's afoot in our fair land. The Washington Post is so concerned about it that they've posted a curiously mistimed series called "Looking for America." And washed-up candidates like Baby Marco Rubio are saying other silly things, like "America is in the middle of a real political storm, a real tsunami and we should have seen this coming."

Um, no, Baby Marco. Your party is having the so-called storm, thank you very much. And even though Bernie Sanders has made a hit with young voters who are concerned about job opportunities and college tuition, you really need to leave us Democrats out of it — because it's the Republicans who are being riven by the anger, not us.

So it's kinda amazing that we Americans who are pleased with the accomplishments of the Obama Administration — who are glad that the country was rescued from a Bush-created economic catastrophe, that 20 million of our fellow citizens have health insurance now, or that our LGBT friends can marry the people they love — always get roped in when clueless officeholders and TV talking heads try to explain The Trump Thing.

Because, you see, it's pretty simple: The GOP has ridden the tiger of gun-loving, women-hating, gay-loathing, right-wing racism for so long that it's finally caught up with them, and they're about to end up inside.

Fasten your seat belts, America: We don't often get to witness a true partisan realignment like this. But the key word here is "witness": The Republican Party is the one splintering from resentful white rage. We cats prefer sunny ways. And we PURR.

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Yep, It's Time

By Sniffles

We cats have sensed for awhile now that African-American voters — and heck, this past Tuesday, most Democratic voters — have gotten a vibe from the White House that if we all want to protect President Obama's legacy, we need to vote for Hillary.

Well, now, there's apparently confirmation. The President is gently telling donors that the Democratic Party has reached a point at which it should coalesce behind its candidate — particularly given the clown-car show that's going on on the other side. The future of the country's at stake (or at least, America's ability to have an election without people getting beaten up — or maybe killed — at rallies).

We cats are unsurprised. Yes, we understand the roots of Senator Sanders's appeal, and why young people, especially, have been attracted to his message. But we also recall that back in 2008-2009, when the newly elected Barack Obama had to deal with a new, impending Great Depression, he realized that he needed to focus on that and, therefore, choose the closest person to a President possible to represent America to the world.

That person was Hillary Rodham Clinton, who stepped up and let the global community know that — to paraphrase Justin Trudeau — America was back.

The Obama Administration, which has never gotten enough credit for yanking the country back from the economic abyss, owes Secretary Clinton a great debt for that. And it makes perfect sense that she should be the strongest candidate to succeed him in the Oval Office.

So, Senator Sanders should pack it up. It doesn't mean that he won't have influence. Heck, it's amazing how influential he's going to be in Philadelphia this summer, and he's not even a Democrat. It just means that he needs to recognize that he's never going to catch Hillary in the delegate count, and that we all should work together to figure out how we're going to save America from Trumpageddon. That would make us cats PURR.

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Begorra! BHO Smacks Down PDR

By Baxter

It looks like President Obama injected a little seriousness into today's St. Paddy's Day luncheon on Capitol Hill — taking the Republicans to task for not repudiating the language and actions of Donald Trump more strongly.

"It’s worth asking ourselves what each of us may have done to contribute to this vicious atmosphere in our politics," the President told his — no surprise — silent host, House Speaker Paul D. Ryan.

The reason we cats aren't surprised is because Paul Ryan is one of those leading Republicans — Mitch McConnell is another — who has tried to be critical of Trump without mentioning his name. In other words, the GOP establishment is trying to tsk-tsk the name calling, the bathroom humor, the egomania and the rally violence — while still refusing to specifically call out their presumptive nominee for his behavior. Despicable.

"When we leave this lunch, I think we have a choice," Obama said. "We can condone this race to the bottom or accept it as the way things are and sink further, or roundly reject this kind of behavior whether we see it in the other party or, more importantly, when we see it our own party. It starts with us."

Does the President — once again, the only grownup in the room — know that Paul Ryan is a coward? Yeah, we think so. Are we thrilled that he took this opportunity to decry the state of the GOP campaign? Absolutely.

We can't help that think that no matter what the results of today's Democratic primaries, and no matter who gets the nomination in Philadelphia this summer, we Democrats have had a serious debate on the issues and the future of the country. The Republicans, by contrast, have had an embarrassing reality TV show, a Jerry Springer-esque circus, unworthy of the United States of America. And none of them have spoken up about it. They are chickens, and that makes us HISS.

Suddenly, Baby Marco Cares About The Right To Vote

By Miss Kubelik

You can tell that Baby Marco Rubio's on his political deathbed, because all of a sudden he's worried about enfranchisement — a topic that we're not aware has ever troubled him before.

In an email to supporters, Team Baby Marco raised alarms about the vote in Florida today. "We need you to be our eyes and ears on the ground," Team BM urged. "When you go to vote, if you encounter any problems... such as excessively long delays in the check-in process or a precinct running low on ballots... let us know."

Gosh! Who knew that Baby Marco and his minions were so concerned? Did we see them complaining about the long lines that Americans have had to endure in recent elections? Has Baby Marco ever been outraged by the photo ID laws that Republicans have enacted in key states to dampen turnout by minorities, students and the elderly (i.e., Democrats)? Was Baby Marco disturbed back in 2000, when the Supreme Court decreed that thousands of his fellow Floridians' votes go uncounted?

Of course not. Baby Marco is only biting his pillow about problems at the polls because he's probably headed for a crash and burn tonight. But if he has ideas of running for Governor any time soon, maybe he should worry about what happens on the ground a little sooner. We cats HISS.

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Lest We Furr-get: Off To The Big House

By Zamboni

It's so quaint of Donald Trump to think that getting arrested for protesting his rallies would lead to rack and ruin.

"It'll destroy their record," Trump said recently, bragging that he's thinking of pressing charges against those who disrupt his campaign events. "They'll have to explain to Mom and Dad why they have a police record and why they can't get a job."

"Can't get a job"? Please. Does The Donald know how many distinguished Americans have been arrested in their lifetimes? John Lewis, Bernie Sanders, Raul Grijalva, Luis Gutierrez, Jan Schakowsky, Keith Ellison, Charlie Rangel, Maxine Waters and a ton of other office-holders have all been hauled off to the hoosegow for various reasons — and still they vote on the floors of Congress today. Not to mention the arrests of people like Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King, whose courage helped change the destiny of a nation.

And while we're at it, let's not stop at our borders. Emmeline Pankhurst, Mahatma Gandhi and Archbishop Desmond Tutu were all taken to jail because they dared to speak up for the rights of the oppressed.

That's the difference, you see. Demonstrators who've been fingerprinted and booked almost always have ended up in hot water because they were standing up for the least among us. Kind of reminds you of someone, don'tcha think? Yes, you right-wing Christian evangelicals — we're looking at you. We cats HISS.

(PHOTO: Rosa Parks, American hero)

Mitt Romney's Incredible Disappearing Act

By Sniffles

We cats are ready to play a new game: "Where's Willard?"

That's because since his March 3 excoriation of Donald Trump — a speech in which he called the GOP front-runner a "phony" and a "fraud" — Willard Mitt Romney is suddenly nowhere to be found.

Oh, he appeared on late-night TV the other day to do a deadpan reading of a few mean Trump tweets. But since The Donald's rallies have started exploding in violence, the 2012 Republican nominee has gone completely silent.

Then again, that's hardly novel in what passes today for the Party of Lincoln. Only Baby Marco Rubio and John Kasich have expressed any qualms about supporting Trump for the nomination since the events in St. Louis and Chicago took place, and they were pretty mealy-mouthed about it at that (especially Baby Marco). Rafael Cruz, Jr., on the other hand, wavered on the question not at all.

Meanwhile, the so-called Republican establishment, from Rancid Pieface to Speaker Ryan to Majority Leader McConnell, has nothing to say about the fact that their leading candidate's rallies are starting to look like the "Tomorrow Belongs to Me" sequence from the musical "Cabaret."

Aside from its leaders in Congress, who is the titular head of the GOP until the convention in Cleveland? We cats think that would be their most recent nominee. And if what Willard had to say on March 3 was so important — if his party's future was so much at stake —and if Trump's impact on the country was going to be so profound — why isn't Romney leading the Republicans in screams of outrage now?

Two possible answers: Either Willard Mitt Romney thinks the GOP should still try to squeak into power with a fascist demagogue at its helm, or Willard Mitt Romney is not outraged at all. Neither is very attractive, is it? We cats are so glad we're us and not them. That makes us PURR.

UPDATE: It looks like we cats have shamed Willard into stepping back into the spotlight: He's campaigning with John Kasich today — but not endorsing. Republicans are so weird.

Friday, March 11, 2016

The Whole World Is Watching

By Baxter

Are we surprised? The Republicans have been coddling racists for 40+ years, and now it's all come to a head with this awkward (for the GOP) candidacy of Donald Trump.

Donald Trump, who says from the lectern that protesters should be punched — in fact, that he'd like to do it himself.

If something even worse than this doesn't happen in Chicago tonight, just wait until we get to Cleveland in July. We cats are disgusted, and we HISS.

Lest We Furr-get: Reagan's Silence Equaled A Lot Of Death

By Miss Kubelik

It seems that every time a Reagan checks out, America must collectively lose its mind. Thankfully, now that Nancy's gone, we cats can only hope that we're done.

But until today's big funereal confab in Simi Valley, we thought that the mind-losing was confined to the Republican Party and the nation's obeisant news media. This morning, though, we discovered that it also extended to Hillary Rodham Clinton, who praised Ronnie and Mommy for leadership on stem-cell research and — eek! — on HIV/AIDS.

NOT. We all remember how the Reagans not only didn't "start a conversation" on AIDS — they ignored the disease for years while thousands of Americans (their friend Rock Hudson among them) suffered and died.

So Hillary was dead wrong on that. Sadly, thanks to the Reagans, all those folks with AIDS are simply dead.

Clinton took it back, and should have. But she wasn't the only HRC who goofed on the LBGT front today: The Human Rights Campaign endorsed Mark Kirk. We wonder when Chad Griffin & Co. will realize that even when they misspeak, Democrats will always be their better friends. We cats HISS.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Hot Ticket

By Zamboni

We cats will have more to say about the violence that we're seeing at Donald Trump events — and if the moderators of tonight's Republican "debate" on CNN don't ask him about it, they'll be committing journalistic malpractice.

But let's take a break from GOP brutishness to savor this lovely photo from the official White House dinner for the Trudeaus, shall we? A much more pleasant way to spend the evening. And Mike Myers is right: "One of the things that Canada can offer the world is civility." We cats PURR.

Holy Schmoe-ly!

By Sniffles

Something happened to Rick ("Florida's First Martian Governor") Scott today that we cats would love to see happen to Donald Trump (again).

Grinning like a simpleton during a remote interview on the "Morning Schmoes" (that would be the show featuring Mika, daughter of Zbig, and Republican Joe), Scott refused to answer a question and was immediately hustled off the air.

Did Scott agree with GOP front-runner Trump that "Islam hates us"? Or, as Joe himself put it, "“Do you think Muslims in the state of Florida hate America?” Scott tried to weasel his way out of answering by talking about what a great "melting pot" the Sunshine State was — desperately trying not to agree or disagree with the nut who may head the GOP's ticket in the fall.

Goodness gracious. We haven't seen a politician act so space-alien-y since we saw Stephen Harper do this. Or Baby Marco Rubio do this. But anyway.

We sincerely hope that Anderson Cooper watches the tape from the Schmoes this morning — he could take a lesson from Mika and Joe (especially Mika). Because yesterday, when Cooper questioned Trump on the truth of his ridiculous "Islam hates us" statement, Trump said, "You're going to have to figure that out, okay?"

Um, no. Not okay. Trump said it, Trump needs to explain it — not the journalist asking the questions. At which point Anderson Cooper should have stood up and said, "Sorry, Donald, this interview is over."

But of course he didn't. And he won't, because in what passes for television news these days, ratings and money are all that matter. We hate to sound like a GOP clown car passenger complaining about Trump's media coverage, but we do wish that reporters would draw a line in the sand sometimes. At it stands now, it all makes us HISS.

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

The NRSC Hasn't Got A Leg To Stand On

By Baxter

Why are Republicans so thoughtless, or stupid, or both? The National Republican Senatorial Committee has had to delete a tweet today — sorry, folks, it lives on in screen shots — claiming that Tammy Duckworth, an Iraq war vet and a double amputee, doesn't "stand up for veterans."

At this rate, they'll be referring to Daniel Inouye as Sam Ervin's right-hand man at the Senate Watergate hearings and Max Cleland as a Democrat who ran a poor race in 2004.

But never mind all that. When it comes to this little kerfuffle, we cats want just one thing: to hear from disabled Republicans. Will any journalists ask the following people for their official reaction?
  • Greg Abbott, Governor of Texas, in a wheelchair
  • Bob Dole, 1996 GOP nominee, withered arm, World War II injury
  • John McCain, 2008 nominee, Vietnam POW injuries
  • And most especially, Mark Kirk, US Senator — who suffered a debilitating stroke in 2012 and in whose behalf the NRSC sent out the offending tweet
Somehow, we doubt it. Which makes us cats HISS.

(PHOTO: Tammy Duckworth, walking the walk.)

Monday, March 7, 2016

Florida Cat Fight! Donald Vs. Baby Marco

By Miss Kubelik

Today, not only did a major Florida newspaper refuse to endorse anybody in the GOP clown car for President — including its own US Senator, Baby Marco Rubio — but Michael Bloomberg said nerts to running for the White House himself because, he stated, "There is a good chance that my candidacy could lead to the election of Donald Trump... That is not a risk I can take."

What a contrast from the clowns who bashed Trump relentlessly at the last Republican debate and then turned around and said, "But of course we'll support him."

So! Another red-letter day for Rancid Pieface and his gang of incompetents over at the RNC. The Presidential primaries that they had so carefully crafted to prevent a nut from taking over the process is about to give them — drum roll — a nut, taking over the process. Except in this case it's not the fringe-y guy they once feared (Ron Paul), but Trump.

Their only hope is to have Kasich and Baby Marco win their home states and send everybody to Cleveland with an insufficient chunk o' delegates and fight it out. Hm. It looks like Kasich might be able to deliver Ohio, but Rubio in Florida? Not so much.

Then again, polls have narrowed there, and the Sunshine State doesn't vote until next Tuesday. So Baby Marco does have some time to catch up to The Donald... if he can cobble together some sort of organization, if he can use Super PAC money for last-minute voter ID and GOTV, if he doesn't bomb at Thursday night's debate, and if the stop-Trump Super PAC ads do any good. That's a lot of ifs.

But even if all those ifs do come through, what about the early voters? Trump has led in early voting in other states, but one recent poll has Baby Marco flipping that script in Florida. Problem is, the script works against him, too: "His support appears to be collapsing among those yet to vote."

Oy. Sounds like the Baby Marco minions should order in a few cases of Pepto-Bismol. In the meantime, we don't agree that it's time for Rubio to throw in the towel. If he gets embarrassed in his home state on March 15, great. If not, he'll march on to the mayhem that will be the Republican National Convention. We cats win either way. Which makes us PURR.

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Nancy Reagan: Hillary Should Succeed My Ronnie

By Zamboni

Nancy "Mommy" Reagan has checked out, and it's reminded us cats of a recent Interwebs adventure that involved her and another First Lady, Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Back about a year ago, the website Bloomberg Politics fell for a report that Nancy had endorsed Hillary for President. Apparently Mommy, in an interview for a show called "First Ladies in Their Own Words," had said that it was high time for a female POTUS — and that HRC filled the bill.

Bloomberg posted and then swiftly deleted the story, but only after having been caught in a state of supreme suckderdom. Therein lie the perils of cyberspace: Why be a stickler for accuracy when you can have speed?

Anyway, we cats can think of no better way to remember Nancy Reagan than to re-spread that fabulous rumor. After all, just because the story turned out not to be true makes no difference for this election. We cats PURR.

CPACking It In

By Sniffles

We cats have been semi-researching how the teabags and our friends the Freepers are feeling about a Donald Trump-versus-Rafael Cruz, Jr. smackdown. Okay, what that means is that we've beamed into the comments at Free Republic to check them out, but not in any scientific or prolonged manner, because — quite frankly, folks — we can't stand to be in there longer than for about 20 minutes at a time.

Our assumption going in was that, if Rafael were to outmaneuver Trump and roll into Cleveland with more delegates, the Trump-loving Freeps would probably grouse for awhile but ultimately get on board. After all, if you're one of them, what's not to like about Cruz?

Except that, surprisingly, we detect a small undercurrent of dislike. We're not sure where this springs from, unless it's the fact that A) Cruz is a Canadian, B) he's a Senator (yes, he forced a government shutdown, but he's still a Senator), and C) the Famous Quitter from Alaska endorsed Trump and not him. And check out this comment about Rafael's appearance at CPAC:

"Whatever Cruz was wearing it looked a little 'sissy' to me, like something someone from Canada would wear. I’m surprised he doesn’t wear his jeans tucked into his boots."

Whoa, we wondered, what's that about? And then we read some more and realized that the Freepers hate CPAC, too. It's infected with RINOs! It's run by Grover Norquist! CPACkers love Paul Ryan! They gave Willard Mitt Romney a standing O! They let gay guys have a vendor booth one year! Oh, the many sins of CPAC... too numerous to list.

In short, even CPAC is too lefty for the rabid base that's causing so much grief in the Republican Party these days. But what's that bit about "something someone from Canada would wear"? We cats, anticipating this week's State Dinner in honor of Justin Trudeau, HISS.

Saturday, March 5, 2016

Wake Baby Marco When It's Over

By Baxter

We cats are still digesting the "Super Saturday" results, but on the Republican side, our initial reaction is that we couldn't be more pleased. Trump and Cruz each winning two states means the race continues to be roiled up, and the GOP establishment is still apoplectic. Baby Marco Rubio is humiliated, but (in our view) can't drop out before Florida since he's on the ballot there.

And — get this — Michael Reagan has endorsed.... John Kasich. John Kasich? Just goes to show you Kasich is no moderate, but then, we knew that already.

But back to Baby Marco, the poor darling. We cats would have never thought it possible that two of our most despised Republicans from Florida could suffer such electoral disgrace, and within weeks of each other! Icing on the cake: How silly all those GOP endorsers who stampeded to Rubio look now. It all makes us PURR.

Friday, March 4, 2016

Crossing The Floor?

By Miss Kubelik

It looks like we Democrats might already have our Zell Miller of 2016: former Virginia Senator Jim Webb.

You remember Zell Miller: He's the former Democratic Senator from Georgia who went all googoo-eyed over the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived, and who unloaded (and we mean unloaded) on John Kerry at the 2004 Republican convention. The guy, to put it mildly, came off like a nut.

Now Jim Webb is averring that he may vote for Donald Trump. His timing is interesting, since it's the day after the worst Republican debate in history and the day that the world is throwing up over a visual it now cannot unsee — that of Willard Mitt Romney on his knees and, um, servicing The Donald. (Gosh, Ann must be furious.)

Well, no worries — we always did think that Jim Webb was a little strange. Is it possible that he'd rather go to Cleveland this summer than to Philadelphia? If so, we cats say, vaya con Dios, amigo. Democrats speaking at the Republican convention will be far, far outnumbered by Republicans speaking at ours.

And who could blame them? More than one pundit and politico has invoked the specter of Chicago 1968 when imagining what could go down at the RNC this July. We cats don't want anybody to get hurt, but the idea of an all-out Republican war? Well, it makes us PURR.

Thursday, March 3, 2016

First-Name Basis

By Zamboni

The online world got a big laugh out of Chris Christie's pathetic hostage-video introduction of Donald Trump the other day. Gosh, the tweets and comments were funny. How clever folks can be!

But that same night, Christie did something else that got everyone guffawing. He called the man he was introducing "Mr. Trump." Trump responded by calling him "Chris."

And now, Willard Mitt Romney's done the same thing! In his hypocritical speech today denouncing the GOP front-runner, Willard kept doing the "mister" thing:

"Some people...look at history and say a trend like Mr. Trump’s isn’t going to be stopped."

"There are a number of people who claim that Mr. Trump is a con man, a fake."

"Mr. Trump has changed his positions not just over the years, but over the course of the campaign."

"Mr. Trump is directing our anger for less than noble purposes."

Willard, cut it out. If this man is such a demagogue, so below board, so unworthy of support, so boorish, repulsive and despicable, why reward him with an honorific? Call him Donald. After all, you're the 2012 Republican nominee — not a first-week freshman who's scared of the high school principal. We cats roll our eyes and HISS.

(PHOTO: "Is Donald Trump gone yet?")

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Feeling Impotent

By Sniffles

Ever since we cats heard that prior to The Big Endorsement last Friday, Mr. and Mrs. Christie sat down for a friendly visit with Mr. and Mrs. Trump, we've been trying to picture how that oddest of odd couples, Mary Pat and Melania, got along. What on earth did they have to say to each other?

But those aren't the only questions buzzing around in our brains this Day After Super Tuesday. Specifically, we're wondering how the GOP has gotten to the point where this week, pundits and talking heads were openly speculating that The Worst Person Who's Ever Lived could turn out to be the last Republican President, ever.

And then there's this: Isn't this GOP the same GOP that stole, with no regrets, the 2000 Presidential election — denying the popular-vote winner, disenfranchising minorities, staging a phony Brooks Brothers riot in Florida, and getting five states'-rights-supporting Supreme Court justices to shut down the vote by denying that state's rights? And now they can't figure out how to engineer their own nominating process to stop an usurper?

This is 2016. The Republican Party has had 16 years of legislating to restrict the franchise — 16 years of gerrymandering state and federal legislative districts to elect officeholders who will do the party's bidding. They've got many more secretaries of state denying people the vote. They've got Citizens United. They've gutted the Voting Rights Act. They have a bigger, badder and broader infotainment "news" network to do their bidding. And up until two weeks ago, they had a much more conservative Supreme Court to rubber-stamp everything they want.

And they're powerless against Donald Trump?

We cats are amazed. But we're grateful that the GOP has so brilliantly demonstrated how not to run against this guy. It could come in handy this November. Which makes PURR.

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Looking Forward

"Mr. Trump's foul statements and shallow ideas can and should be exposed through detailed, dispassionate analysis and smart debate, approaches that would lift his opponent as they diminish him. Republicans are reaping the whirlwind right now, and Democrats should seize the chance to show Americans an alternative to Mr. Trump's politics of rage, and an image of themselves to be proud of, not shrink from."
The New York Times Editorial Board, March 1, 2016

Lest We Furr-get: Race Car Racists

By Baxter

See that guy sitting down on the right? It's "Big Bill" France, NASCAR founder and storied segregationist. See the guy on the left? It's George Wallace. 'Nuff said, right?

Well, maybe not. Because yesterday, Brian France, current head of NASCAR and grandson of "Big Bill," endorsed Donald Trump. How appropriate — like grandfather, like grandson, throwing his weight behind the bigot.

It's ridiculous that the passengers in the GOP clown car and their inside-the-Beltway enablers have expressed such shock that Trump would ineptly fail to repudiate the support of white supremacists like David Duke, et. al. Because since 1972, when this photo was taken — indeed, even a few years before then — the Republican Party of Richard Nixon and everyone who followed him (with the possible exception of Gerald Ford) pandered to the people-of-color-hating NASCAR vote. Why are they surprised at the bed they now have to lie in? They made it.

We cats are waiting for pundits to start predicting that Trump will be successful in attracting the aggrieved votes of low-income white people and that that will make him competitive in the fall. In our view, two points: We first have to see what the GOP will do about this unholy mess in which they've landed themselves. We also have to believe that the general electorate will refuse to reward a hater and a xenophobe come November. But it'll all come down to the math, won't it? We cats PURR.

Oh, Boy! It's Super Tuesday!

We simply had to move David Duke off the top of the blog. So to keep you amused while we go out and vote, here's a cute red panda!