In February, we cats heeded Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank's call and avoided writing about the famous killer from Alaska for the entire month. It was delightful, if we do say so ourselves. So delightful, in fact, that we didn't even rush back after the sabbatical ended. There were just so many other worthy subjects to comment upon, and besides, she made absolutely no legitimate news.
But that was only half of it. Now that her polls numbers are in the toilet, we cats wondered why we should ever write about her again. After all, how many other failed, out-of-office Governors get the kind of mindless, undeserved coverage Sarah Palin does? To our minds, it would be the equivalent of the media breathlessly chasing down those sorry non-success stories Jon Corzine or Gray Davis. (Of course, Corzine and Davis don't land on any male journalists' "MILF" lists, do they?)
Then, just as we were ready to drag all our Palin files to the trash, we saw multiple stories about the 2012 Republican Presidential race. It's wide open! Gallup reported. For the first time in years, there's no clear front runner.
This is pretty amazing, because students of American political history know that the Republicans are a very hierarchical party. In their Presidential races, they nominate the person whose "turn" it is — like Richard Nixon in 1960 and George H.W. Bush in 1988. Even in 1996, Bob Dole was the next guy in line, because he'd run with Gerald Ford in 1976 and because Bush Senior's Vice President, Dan Quayle, was such a joke.
That got us thinking. If John McCain had not chosen so poorly in 2008, his running mate would logically be blowing away the 2012 field right now. At the very least, it would be a two-person race — probably between her and Mitt Romney. But since Sarah Palin is such a moron, the GOP, Presidentially speaking, is an unholy mess.
We cats guess it would be proper for us to PURR in John McCain's direction for this unexpected gift of Republican disarray that he's foisted on us. But goodness gracious. It's at such a price. Pass the Tums, please.
(IMAGE: DC Comics)
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