As we head into the No Kings 2.0 weekend, it's kind of hard to ignore the simultaneous implosion of two guys named Andrew. Woof, as the dogs say — things are not going well for either of these gents.
Unless something dramatic happens over the next few weeks, Andrew Cuomo is about to get his butt kicked in the New York mayoral race.
This became clearer last night, when his turn on the debate stage cemented his rep as The Former Governor Who Once Got Great Notices But Who Ended Up Fucking Up. Even Republican Curtis Sliwa piled on, refusing to let Cuomo dismiss the sexual harassment problems that made him resign as Governor. "Come on, Andrew, all 13 women were lying?" Sliwa said. "A state trooper, too?" Jesus, what a comedown. Cuomo was on top of the world in 2020, but between being a sex pest, slamming sick people into nursing homes, and using state resources for his COVID memoir, he's no longer the "Andy" Randy Rainbow loved.
Meanwhile, back in Old Blighty... well, let's back up a bit. When we first read the excerpt from Virginia Giuffre's posthumous memoir in The Guardian, our immediate thought was, "This book is going to keep Benedict Donald from pardoning Ghislaine Maxwell." (It's harrowing. Disgusting. Vomit-inducing. Do you want us to go on?) Today, though, in the wake of the memoir it was Andrew Albert Christian Edward Mountbatten-Windsor who fell on his sword, renouncing his title as Duke of York. (And as the Knight Grand Cross of the Royal Victorian Order [GCVO] and as the Royal Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter. But let's not get distracted.)
If you don't speak Royal Family, relinquishing York is a very big deal. Queen Elizabeth gave Andrew the title when he married Sarah Ferguson back in 1986, and it was rightly seen as a great honor from a loving mum, since her father, George VI, had carried it before. But the Jeffrey Epstein scandal has now not only driven Andrew from the family but also forced him to surrender this last precious gift. (Fergie must, too. No Duke of York, no Duchess of York. And frankly, they've both managed to independently disgrace themselves, you know?)
Moral of the story: The Epstein fallout continues. Who else will be ensnared? There will be more, we promise. We cats HISS.
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