Un Noel Tres, Tres Joyeux

The celebrations of last night's stunning Grey Cup victory by the Montreal Alouettes might still be going on. Our owners will find out at around noon tomorrow, because they're flying up north for a little taste of winter before the holidays. We cats, meanwhile, are snug like bugs in the five-paw cat hotel. But we'll try to post from time to time. Stay warm, everybody!

The Meaning of Mike

By Sniffles

Mike "I'm Fat Again" Huckabee is probably real busy today, answering questions about his early release of an alleged cop killer. (Goodness, we can just imagine what Karl Rove and all the Republican talking heads would be saying on cable news if a Democrat were involved!)

But police assassinations aside, we cats found Fat Mike's recent interview on FOX "News" Sunday — in which he said he may not run for President in 2012 — very interesting. We think it says several things:

First, Fat Mike evidently thinks President Obama is a shoo-in for re-election and is willing to bide his time, building his media profile, until 2016.

Second, he apparently is convinced that Sarah Palin is sucking all the air out of the right-wing Republican room, and he might have to get out before he suffocates. This elevates the threat to rumored 2012 candidates Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney. With the specter of Huckabee supporters turning to Palin instead, Newtie and the Mittster will have to take her down quicker and harder.

Third, a Huckabee withdrawal, if it happens, could be partly blamed on the media. One of their favored "nice" guys on the Republican side may end up being pushed out by the rabid Palinistas that populate the GOP base. Where have the talking heads been when it comes to confronting the harsh tactics and language of the teabaggers and right wing? Nowhere, that's where.

These are just our initial impressions. As for any further observations, we cats will wait to see how the Maurice Clemmons situation unfolds. Willie Horton, anyone?

Prescription for Disaster

By Baxter

The conservatives in the GOP are gleefully steering the Republican Party into icebergs, and we cats couldn't be more pleased.

Latest case in point: The New York Times has paused to consider the woes of South Carolina Republicans, who not only appear ready to impeach their hapless and silly Governor, but whose Senators — right-wing maniac Jim DeMint and only slightly less-right-wing Lindsey Graham — are trying to take their party in diametrically opposed directions.

We love it, because it's always good for Democrats when Republicans fight with each other. But over and above that, this quote really got our attention:

"Mr. DeMint... has said he would prefer having fewer, but ideologically pure, Republicans in the Senate rather than more Republicans who were ideologically suspect."

We cats fail to understand how, with that attitude, the demented Mr. DeMint thinks his side will ever get back in power again. But hey, Jim, have at it.

And to our liberal friends out there, we cats simply say this: We agree with you on many of your frustrations with our own party. But may we never, ever find ourselves rearranging those famous deck chairs again.

Party Crashers

By Zamboni

Can we lock them up, and throw away the key?

You know of whom we cats speak. But we will not state their names, because to do so would give them what they so desperately want.

We continue to be mystified at people's desire to give up their privacy. We've never succumbed to watching reality TV shows — first, because the "reality" is never real, and second, because we're certain we'd be bored.

Now, we're just mad. It's one thing to defraud law enforcement about an errant balloon in Colorado. It's quite another to embarrass the hardworking members of the U.S. Secret Service and put the safety of the President in question. So we HISS and GROWL at that deservedly nameless husband and wife, and we dump our dirty litter boxes on their stupid heads.

Once, the subject of party crashing made a classically funny Hollywood movie. But of course, the people depicted in "The Philadelphia Story" were true society bluebloods. The couple who wormed their way into the White House the other night are — shall we say — not.

Bobby, They Hardly Knew You

By Sniffles

Gee, if only Republicans would take Ari Fleischer's 2001 admonishment to heart. If they'd just watch what they say and do, they'd have a much smoother ride with their crazy-eyed base.

How do we know? Here's one example — Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal.

Bobby, the nutcases over at Free Republic have turned against you. First, you had the temerity to support the $300 million Senator Landrieu secured in the health care bill for your state's Medicaid program. Governor, the Freepers believe you should have turned that money down. Since you didn't, you've generated comments from them like this:

"Jindal has been incredibly disappointing in terms of potential for national office... [H]is comments on working with Obama on health care show him to be tone deaf. I had very high hopes, but 2009 has been a bad year for Bobby."

"[W]e need strength of character and someone who is willing to say NO to all our enemies foreign and domestic."

"Jindal looked like he might be good, but he's proven, especially with this, that he's a dud."

"Well, looks like ol’ Bobby was a very rapid flash in the pan."

Adding insult to injury, Jindal, all smiles, turned up at the White House for last night's state dinner. The Freepers are sure it's political payback for the health care bill. Of course, the dinner honored the Prime Minister of India — and Jindal is Indian-American — but, never mind.

So Governor Jindal is now wanting in the eyes of the far right. Which means he probably also would fail the GOP's new "purity test." Our only question is, who would pass?

Okay, This Is Really Cool

As felines, we are obviously known for being catty. So perhaps you all will forgive us if we observe that for the first time in eight years, the First Lady isn't wearing something borrowed from her mother-in-law's closet. (Meow!)

Tidbits and Cat Treats — Pre-Turkey Edition

By Baxter

Oh, Lou Dobbs, please, please run for President. We cats don't care whether you're a Republican or an Independent. We just want you to suck all the oxygen out of the room, eat up a lot of money that otherwise might go to the GOP, and drive more Hispanics and minorities into the Democrats' arms. Plus, you'll be one more cartoon figure — move over, Palin, Huck and Gingrich — taking on a real President. (We do, though, find your hypocrisy astounding. A guy as rich as you doing the populist pose. Give us a break.)

Speaking of hypocrisy, consider the Catholic Church. Bishop Thomas Tobin of Rhode Island recently demanded that Representative Patrick Kennedy refrain from taking communion because of the Congressman's support for abortion rights. Sounds like a red herring to us. Tobin is trying to distract us with this faux communion issue — and what better way to grab headlines than to involve a Kennedy? — because his fellow church leaders in Connecticut have been ordered to release documents about priestly sex abuse on December 1. Stay tuned, everyone.

Why do we have the feeling that the so-called "abrupt" resignation of RNC communications director Trevor Francis was actually in the works long before, and that somebody convinced him to stay just until the November elections were over?

David Frum has gotten into more trouble with the nutbag Republican base by suggesting that GOP men like Sarah Palin a lot more than GOP women do. We cats disagree with Mr. Frum on many things, but not on this. We all know that if Palin looked like Barbara Mikulski, none of this would be happening. (Forgive us, Senator! We love you!)

Finally, we cats don't know about you, but we never want to be at an event where it's okay to announce, "We're fixin' to introduce the ladies." Which means we're glad we didn't attend the Republican Governors Association meeting. Ugh. Excuse us, but we feel a hairball coming on.

Senate Turns Back Republican Filibuster, Opens Health Care Debate

"Now, this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."

—Winston Churchill

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

By Zamboni

One of Sarah Palin's many undesirable traits is her constant desire to have things both ways.

Example: If she'd been in elected office 30 years ago, as a right-wing Republican she surely would have campaigned against the Equal Rights Amendment. Yet today she expects us all to join her in outrage over a "sexist" magazine cover. (Sorry, ma'am, but we cats haven't cared about Newsweek since they hired Karl Rove as a contributor.)

Another example: We find it really interesting that Palin — as someone who opposes reproductive rights and believes that all pregnancies should be carried to term — seems to be falling down on the job when it comes to parenting herself.

It's a question we haven't seen posed since the great "book" tour began:

Who's taking care of that baby she had last year?

"We Can Take It!"

By Sniffles

We cats are amazed at the reaction to Attorney General Holder's (correct) decision to try the September 11 conspirators in New York. While we now fully expect the Republicans to oppose everything the Obama Administration does, they still somehow manage to surprise us with their — well, their idiocy.

We say "idiocy" because the railing right-wingers are the very people who always rush to extol all things American (and, in the process, slander those whom they find less than patriotic). But too often, they fail to understand that which they extol.

Do the Republicans not believe that an American court will render justice? Do they fear the first amendment of the Constitution? Do they doubt the mettle of Manhattanites — not to mention all other Americans?

The lack of logic is breathtaking. The Attorney General's decision is as American as apple pie. We should be standing up proudly to the rest of the world, saying, "Look at us! How many countries on the planet could be so grievously wounded and still treat the accused in such a democratic fashion?"

The right wing is very fond of quoting Winston Churchill. Funny how they can't see that a terror trial in New York could be our finest hour.