Pussies in Boots

By Miss Kubelik

We cats well remember the ravings over at Free Republic when their heroine, the famous quitter from Alaska, burst onto the national scene. Liberals and Democrats, they cackled, were afraid of her.

Gee, Freepers, you have that exactly backwards. It's your fellow Republicans who are quaking in their boots. How else to explain John Cornyn's continued schizophrenia on the Alaska Senate race?

Having sat by phlegmatically during what was expected to be a snoozer win by Lisa Murkowski, the National Republican Senatorial Committee — which Cornyn heads — was caught flat-footed when the Palin-endorsed teabagger Joe Miller beat Murkowski in the primary. The NRSC hastily pumped money Miller's way during the general election, but the candidate's thuggish behavior and admission to lying about an ethics charge caused Republicans to start backing away from him in the last days of the campaign.

Now, all of a sudden, Cornyn and his cronies are sending out urgent e-mails to GOP donors to get back on the Miller bandwagon. "We need to get Joe the resources he needs to win the vote count. Because we need Joe to join our fight against Barack Obama."

Goodness gracious, John. You can't have it both ways, as much as you'd like to. Because while you know you can count on a re-elected Senator Murkowski to be a reliable anti-Obama vote, you're also terrified of angering the famous quitter. Tick off Palin, tick off your party's crazy base. It's that simple.

We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: From "Shrek," of course. Yes, we know, Puss was fearless, not a fraidy cat — but we just had to use this.)

With Keith Olbermann Suspended, We Nominate the GOP "Worsts" of 2010

By Sniffles

So, who was the most ridiculous Republican candidate of 2010?

We cats know that this question could take hours to answer, because the Republicans fielded a plethora of pathetic politicos this year.

Some of them — as we knew would happen — got elected. (Rand Paul, Allen West, Rick Scott, Paul LePage — OMG! They're all nuts.) But others appear to have been too crazy even for mad-at-Washington midterm voters, and have bitten the political dust.

It's from among this latter group that we will choose our winners, in terms of:

Money Spent: Meg Whitman excepted, we cats have to award this trophy to none other than Sharron Angle. Teabaggers and GOP fat cats across America shoveled $14 million dollars into the coffers of this mental case in a single financial quarter, trying desperately, desperately, desperately to unseat the uber-hated Harry Reid. "Eighty percent [of this money] came from out of state," Angle inexplicably boasted. All the pundits said the election would be a squeaker. Instead, Reid beat her by a more-than-adequate five points. Congratulations, Sharron!

Joke Factor: Is there any contest? Christine O'Donnell.

Historic Loss: Goodness gracious. We cats know that the results aren't officially in, but with "write-in" leading the Republican Senate nominee 41 percent to 34 percent, we'd say that the journalist-arresting, chronic liar scumbucket Joe Miller is toast. Not only will Lisa Murkowski be the first Senator to win as a write-in candidate since 1954, Alaska is a Republican state. Pretty embarrassing. Way to go, Joe!

P.S.: We cats welcome your nominations. Bring 'em on!

Quote of the Year — And Maybe the Decade

"I almost wish there were another podium here tonight, because I feel like Nancy Pelosi has been in this campaign the whole time. And Nancy ought to take a victory lap with me. And maybe President Obama as well. The disservice and disrespect that has been leveled on them has been so outrageous and so unjustified that it makes me really fear for this country. When you have two people who work every day to make life better for every American and they put up with the nonsense... [I]t's not only unjustified, it's un-American."

—Rep. John Yarmuth (D-KY), in his Election Night victory speech

(IMAGE: Shayne Hull)

But Don't You Dare Call Them Racists!

By Baxter

Republicans get very touchy when people accuse them of bigotry. At the same time, they're quick to hang the racist tag on organizations that empower minorities, such as the National Council of La Raza. It's the old "we'll-distract-you-while-you-catch-us-being-guilty-as-hell" ploy.

The latest case in point is a repellent political hack named Julius Henson (above), whom the Bob Ehrlich for Governor campaign hired to suppress the black vote in Michael Steele's home turf, Prince George's County, Maryland.

Yep, we cats are just coming right out and saying it: voter suppression. How else to characterize the despicable robocalls made to African-American households at 6 PM on Election Day, assuring voters that the Democratic Governor O'Malley was safely re-elected and they could "relax" and stay home?

To add insult to injury, Henson himself is, of course, African American. We cats can only guess that the Ehrlich forces believed this would give them "cover." Additionally, Henson is using the completely unbelievable explanation that the robocalls were meant to inspire blacks who were intending to vote for Ehrlich to get to the polls.

What utter nonsense. The bottom line is this: The Republicans' overall assumption — that's it's okay to systematically disenfranchise voters on the basis of their race — is disgusting, Rovian, un-American and sad.

How ironic that eight years ago, Julius Henson called Bob Ehrlich a Nazi. We'll resist the temptation to play off that epithet, and pick another one instead.

Meg Whitman, move over. There's a new whore in town.

Time to Throw In the Teabag

By Zamboni

Congressman Gerry Connolly (D-VA) has widened his lead over teabagger Keith Fimian again. Final tallies now show Connolly ahead by 968. He led by 487 on Election Night.

Gee. It seems like every time Fimian throws a tantrum and demands that election officials check again, Connolly just keeps getting more votes.

Keith, your signage may be all over the 11th Congressional District, but your ground game was clearly wanting. We cats say, give up now — or risk looking like a Sore Loserman.

Some Positive Thoughts While We Lick Our Wounds

By Miss Kubelik

Boy, were we cats happy that there was a hockey game to distract us last night! Not only that, but the broadcast was in French. Of course, the Canadiens were blanked by the Blue Jackets, but at least we got to practice phrases like mise au jeu and baton eleve.

In short, we didn't have to endure the torture in real time, and instead checked the election results this morning. Better to take all our medicine at once, you see. And we don't have to tell you it's mighty nasty medicine — although not quite as nasty as we thought it would be.

Really? Yeah, honest. To prove it, here are a few bright spots to latch onto while we uncap the Prozac.

Shooting Oneself in the Foot — In our own Congressional district, the incumbent Democratic Congressman leads his teabagger challenger by 821 votes. The Democrat has claimed victory. The teabagger — who had damaged himself with an insensitive comment about how the shot-dead Virginia Tech students should have been "packing heat" — refuses to concede. We cats think that 821 votes is more than enough. Just ask Al Franken, who won his Senate seat by about 500 fewer than that.

No Trophies for You! — Does anybody remember John Cornyn's obnoxious boast last spring? About how the GOP was gunning for President Obama's, Vice President Biden's, and Harry Reid's Senate seats? "I call them the trophy seats," Cornyn squeaked in barely controlled excitement. Well, John, hate to tell you this, but you're one for three. (Note to journalists: Digging up that Cornyn quote is called practicing institutional memory. Get the idea?)

Stuff Can Happen When You Stupidly Invoke the Supreme Being — While we're on the subject of Harry Reid, we can't help recalling how Sharron Angle loved to talk about how God had "plans" for people — especially rape victims. Gee, Sharron, is your election defeat part of God's plan, too? Please explain! (We cats do think, though, that a Republican voter in Reno summed it up best: "I've watched Sharron Angle, and she's nuts.")

Rebuke du Jour — The most delicious thing about Democrat Joe Manchin winning the late Robert Byrd's Senate seat is that John McCain and Sarah Palin both just campaigned in West Virginia for Bob Raese. Well done, Mountain State.

Big Bucks — Yes, we cats hate the Supreme Court's Citizens United decision, and we have no doubt that Karl Rove helped enrich all his Republican consultant friends this election. But here's something worth thinking about: If wealthy jerks like Meg Whitman, Carly Fiorina and Carl Paladino can spend zillions of their own dollars in California and New York and still come up short, how much is it going to cost Republicans who want to be President to even try to compete in those big blue states in 2012?

Hyperbole — Finally, we cats are unsurprised that the punditocracy and the Republican talking heads oversold the GOP's gains in the House. Except for Charlie Cook and Nate Silver, everyone was pretty irresponsible. Not that it wasn't brutal. But once again we find ourselves wishing for reason, and moderation and thought. Wait — haven't we said that before?

UPDATE: It's Thursday night, and we cats have just heard that Democratic Congressman Gerry Connolly of Virginia has widened his lead to 935 votes. (Please forgive us for linking to a news source whose third paragraph is grammatically unintelligible.) Note to teabagger Keith Fimian: Time to hang it up, dude. And maybe your fellow Republican in Illinois could do the same?

Well, At Least THIS Guy Lost.

Rich Iott (second from right) — Republican candidate for Congress, friend of John Boehner, and Nazi wannabe.