Boy, were we cats happy that there was a hockey game to distract us last night! Not only that, but the broadcast was in French. Of course, the Canadiens were blanked by the Blue Jackets, but at least we got to practice phrases like mise au jeu and baton eleve.
In short, we didn't have to endure the torture in real time, and instead checked the election results this morning. Better to take all our medicine at once, you see. And we don't have to tell you it's mighty nasty medicine — although not quite as nasty as we thought it would be.
Really? Yeah, honest. To prove it, here are a few bright spots to latch onto while we uncap the Prozac.
Shooting Oneself in the Foot — In our own Congressional district, the incumbent Democratic Congressman leads his teabagger challenger by 821 votes. The Democrat has claimed victory. The teabagger — who had damaged himself with an insensitive comment about how the shot-dead Virginia Tech students should have been "packing heat" — refuses to concede. We cats think that 821 votes is more than enough. Just ask Al Franken, who won his Senate seat by about 500 fewer than that.
No Trophies for You! — Does anybody remember John Cornyn's obnoxious boast last spring? About how the GOP was gunning for President Obama's, Vice President Biden's, and Harry Reid's Senate seats? "I call them the trophy seats," Cornyn squeaked in barely controlled excitement. Well, John, hate to tell you this, but you're one for three. (Note to journalists: Digging up that Cornyn quote is called practicing institutional memory. Get the idea?)
Stuff Can Happen When You Stupidly Invoke the Supreme Being — While we're on the subject of Harry Reid, we can't help recalling how Sharron Angle loved to talk about how God had "plans" for people — especially rape victims. Gee, Sharron, is your election defeat part of God's plan, too? Please explain! (We cats do think, though, that a Republican voter in Reno summed it up best: "I've watched Sharron Angle, and she's nuts.")
Rebuke du Jour — The most delicious thing about Democrat Joe Manchin winning the late Robert Byrd's Senate seat is that John McCain and Sarah Palin both just campaigned in West Virginia for Bob Raese. Well done, Mountain State.
Big Bucks — Yes, we cats hate the Supreme Court's Citizens United decision, and we have no doubt that Karl Rove helped enrich all his Republican consultant friends this election. But here's something worth thinking about: If wealthy jerks like Meg Whitman, Carly Fiorina and Carl Paladino can spend zillions of their own dollars in California and New York and still come up short, how much is it going to cost Republicans who want to be President to even try to compete in those big blue states in 2012?
Hyperbole — Finally, we cats are unsurprised that the punditocracy and the Republican talking heads oversold the GOP's gains in the House. Except for Charlie Cook and Nate Silver, everyone was pretty irresponsible. Not that it wasn't brutal. But once again we find ourselves wishing for reason, and moderation and thought. Wait — haven't we said that before?
UPDATE: It's Thursday night, and we cats have just heard that Democratic Congressman Gerry Connolly of Virginia has widened his lead to 935 votes. (Please forgive us for linking to a news source whose third paragraph is grammatically unintelligible.) Note to teabagger Keith Fimian: Time to hang it up, dude. And maybe your fellow Republican in Illinois could do the same?
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