Nosferatu Returns

By Sniffles

America is being stalked by Dick Cheney again.

Like a bad, recurring case of feline urological syndrome, the former Vice President has popped up out of retirement in a repulsive attempt to scare people. The Obama Administration's policies, he's averred, will make a terrorist attack on the U.S. more likely. Nuclear or biological. Take your pick.

Now, if "Dick" (and boy, do we know one when we see one) is so concerned about that, wouldn't you think he'd pick up the phone and talk to someone in the White House? We would bet one of our nine lives that as a former Veep he'd have a direct line to either President Obama, Vice President Biden or DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano. Why go public?

Many possibilities spring to mind. He's worried about legacy issues and wants to position himself as firm and unyielding. He's worried about being nabbed abroad for war crimes. He's trying to peddle a book. He's an ass.

Whatever the answer, the latest Gallup poll shows that Americans are a lot less worried than Cheney is. Seventy-four percent approve of limiting interrogation techniques on terrorist suspects.

It's interesting that it's Cheney who rises to haunt us again — not Bush. We cats take it as additional confirmation that it was "Dick," and not the Worst Person Who Ever Lived, who was in charge of that godforsaken White House. Still, we HISS at Politico.com, for giving him the time of day in the first place.

And as for Cheney, we dump our dirty litter boxes on his wife's head.