20 Questions

By Zamboni

Well, okay, not 20. But former Governor and famous quitter Sarah Palin has had to amend a remark she made about President Obama's birth certificate, and we cats are inspired.

Palin said that she really meant that "Voters have every right to ask candidates for information if they so choose."

Thanks for your permission, Governor. Since the sky's the limit, we'd like to ask you the following:

• Is Todd really Trig's father, or is it — as we suspect — actually Levi Johnston? (You see, unlike the rest of the blogosphere, it's the paternity of that child that we cats doubt.)
• What does Todd really do when he's up on the North Slope for three months with a bunch of guys? By that, we mean for sexual release, if you'll excuse the expression?
• Did you know Bristol was having sex?
• When did you have a conversation with her about birth control — if ever?
• Is Bristol using birth control now?
• Are you willing to make public your grades from the seven colleges you attended?
• While we're on the subject, when will your college sex tapes be released?

Finally, it's occurred to us that your statement doesn't just apply to you. You've also made it possible for us to ask your fellow Republicans anything we want. We're sure that Rudy Giuliani and Newt Gingrich with their multiple marriages, and John Ensign and Mark Sanford and their extramarital affairs, are forever grateful to you.