Years Later, God Finally Strikes Oral Roberts Dead

By Sniffles

The world is short at least one charlatan today, as evangelist Oral Roberts has finally checked out — 23 years after he claimed God would kill him if he didn't meet a fundraising goal.

We cats don't mean to sound harsh, especially during the holiday season. But we're not sure there's any group we loathe more than those who peddle religious claptrap to gullible people and bilk them out of their money. Unless it's the ones who try to inject their faith — such as it is, since we don't think Jesus lived in multimillion-dollar compounds or flew on private jets — into public policy.

Oral Roberts was just one of the many religious buffoons who failed to understand that the Constitution was built on the separation of church and state. So as with Jerry Falwell, we cats do not mourn his passing. We merely sigh with relief and hope that the country can continue to move forward to, um, further enlightenment.