We cats just figured out how the famous quitter from Alaska unquits the Presidential race.
Picture it: It's just after Thanksgiving, and Iowa is a month away. There's a cattle-call event there, or maybe in South Carolina. (But Iowa would be better.) Most of the GOP's 2012 clown college are attending. The famous quitter tips the media that she'll appear as well — maybe to endorse someone. The press shows up in droves. The stage is set.
When it's time for the famous quitter to speak, she starts by saying something nice about every right-winger in the race, from Bachmann to Perry to Santorum to Cain. Each of them, she says, is a great conservative. Each of them, she avers, would make a better commander-in-chief than the current occupant of the Oval Office.
However.
None of them, she suddenly says, has been able to stand up to attacks from the lamestream media. Each of them has been elevated, and then viciously taken down, by the so-called journalists who are, in reality, brainwashed puppets of the current Administration. Only I, she says — I, the famous quitter — have been able to withstand the onslaught of the liberal, Obama-loving press. Therefore, although I know I said I wouldn't run, witnessing the decimation of my fellow conservatives has made me change my mind. I'm in!
After that, the crowd goes wild, the other clowns blink in shock and surprise, and the famous quitter is carried on the triumphant throng's shoulders into the starry Iowa night. One hour later, FOX "News" runs a "post-announcement" interview that the famous quitter pre-recorded with Greta van Susteren earlier that day.
(We cats, of course, are convinced that the famous quitter could win Iowa, even in so short of time. We know because we read those right-wing, Romney-reviling, Palin-praising nutbags over at Free Republic.)
You heard it here first! Time for a nap.
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