Donald Wants Kari To Jump In The Lake

By Zamboni

Personally, we cats find the VP speculation for Benedict Donald to be pretty silly. There's no guarantee that, cognitively, he's even going to be able to make it to the Republican convention, so how is he going to choose? (Maybe Susie Wiles will make the decision for him.)

But the media still hasn't figured out how to cover Trump, so they treat him like a normal candidate looking for a running mate — instead of as the threat to democracy that he is. Which means that a horror story like Kristi Noem's dog execution immediately becomes one of whether she's torpedoed herself from the GOP ticket. (Unlike the poor dog, that's a story that refuses to die.)

Now, Kari Lake, the woman who we always thought had the inside track, has apparently fallen into disfavor. As The Washington Post reports, multiple strikes have developed against her. Donald considers her a loser since she didn't win the Arizona Governor's race in 2022. She secretly taped a call with the head of the state GOP, embarrassing him into stepping down. (Donald doesn't like to be taped.) She dissed supporters of John McCain, which has caused her numbers to sag. She hangs out at Mar-a-Lago too much.

Perhaps most important, Lake is running a stupid campaign in a state that's suddenly on the verge of becoming radioactive for Republicans, thanks to Dobbs and their now-infamous 1864 anti-abortion law. Sounds like Kari is cooked.

Noem's and Lake's problems invariably led to a mini-boomlet for Elise "Elsie" Stefanik on Twitter. After all, she voted against aid to Ukraine, most certainly as a sop to Trump. But we just don't see what she would bring to the ticket. Republicans are not going to carry the state of New York in November. Not even close. And at this point, too many people see Elsie for what she is: an opportunist.

As we said, the whole conversation is pretty dumb. But if we're going to engage in it, it might be time to speculate that Benedict Donald (or, um, Susie) will not choose a woman at all. Keep an eye on super suck-up JD Vance of Ohio. We cats HISS.