A Few Words About Weddings

By Zamboni

On the weekend of Chelsea Clinton's secret (and apparently very tasteful) nuptials, we cats received a verbal "save the date" for another wedding, planned for this fall. The happy couple will travel to Washington, D.C. for their marriage license and their ceremony — because the District is closer to their home than Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Vermont.

Yep, the couple is gay. So of course we immediately teased them that their rush to the altar will, in the view of the Republicans and teabaggers, destroy traditional marriage.

We are still waiting to hear how exactly that works. Our owners have been hitched for more than 23 years, and we've yet to see hordes of homosexuals descending on our home to tear it down brick by brick. And the right wingers never seem to be able to explain it, either — beyond citing the Bible. Which as we all know has nothing to do with civil law.

So we'd like to take this opportunity to remind the teabaggers of our favorite quote from Inherit the Wind: "The Bible is a book. It's a good book. But it's not the only book."

And as long as we're on the subject, we'd like to further commend the Clintons for pulling off Chelsea's wedding so brilliantly. How refreshing to have famous people resist the temptation to lay their lives bare for the world. There's been too much of that lately. We cats are sick of it — and you all know who we're talking about.