Friendly Fire

By Zamboni

Today's big political story — even though it's not finished yet and probably won't be for a couple of weeks — is Lisa Murkowski's potential primary defeat at the hands of a Palin-backed teabagger.

It's not that we cats aren't intrigued. We do wonder whether teabagger Miller's slim lead is due to an anti-choice stampede at the polls, or if Murkowski — whose photographs always make her look like Lucy Van Pelt in full fussbudget mode — didn't take her opponent seriously enough.

But we're more interested in the bigger picture, and we're wondering when everyone else will notice. In short, the message that this year's primaries have sent the Republican establishment is chilling. Look at the list of GOP stalwarts who have crumpled so far:

Bob Bennett — Incredibly conservative Republican Senator from Utah. Killed by his own troops because he wasn't, um, conservative enough.

Kay Bailey Hutchison — Really right-wing Senator gal who decided she'd rather be Governor of Texas. Killed by her own troops because she wasn't as nutty as Rick Perry.

Bob Inglis — Rock-ribbed Southern conservative Congressman, killed by his own troops because he said President Obama probably wasn't a socialist.

Charlie Crist — Supposed moderate and closeted Florida Republican who dared to welcome stimulus money to his beleaguered state. Killed by his own troops and running for Senate as an Independent now.

Bill McCollum — Chosen gubernatorial candidate of the Florida Republican establishment, which wasn't enough to carry him in the primary over Rick Scott, a slimy multimillionaire who made his money cheating Medicare. McCollum was killed by his own troops, who didn't care enough to turn out for him.

Rob Simmons — Alleged Connecticut moderate and Senate candidate, killed by his own troops in favor of Republican wrestling nutbag Linda MacMahon.

Dede Scozzofava — Remember her? She was a New York candidate for Congress, killed by her own troops for being a "radical leftist."

This list is long, and we may be adding Senator Murkowski to it. Who's next? David Vitter? Rick Lazio? We cats lick our chops and wait.

But there's a down side to all this Republican chaos. While we enjoy the fact that inmates control the GOP asylum, how this is good for their party — and, consequently, for the country — is beyond us.

UPDATE: While we now know that David Vitter will not make this list, we cats realize we made a serious omission when we forgot to include Mitch McConnell's handpicked candidate for Jim Bunning's Kentucky Senate seat. Trey Grayson. Killed by his own troops.

(IMAGE: Douglas C. Neidermeyer, killed in Viet Nam by... well, you know.)