Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Republicans Favor Gay Marriage, Freepers Foretell Doom

By Sniffles

We cats were tickled pink to read this morning that a passel of prominent Republicans have signed an amicus brief to the Supreme Court in support of same-sex marriage.

The signers include Jon Huntsman (sigh), two Republican members of Congress, former GOP Cabinet members and top advisers, and Meg Whitman — a former Prop 8 supporter who we suspect may be having a tough time attracting high-powered talent to HP.

So of course we had to check in on our favorite right-wing crazies at Free Republic. As you might guess, they're pretty upset. In fact, they see Armageddon approaching. We'll let them explain:

"There is a world of hurt coming on this nation and any nation that glorifies sin. Nations cannot be punished in the next life. They will be punished now by God’s incontrovertible truth."

"We are step-by-step demonstrating we are diverting our paths from that of the God who founded, nourished and protected us in years gone by. And that God is a jealous God who punishes the transgressor as well as rewards his followers."

"The Lord has lifted His protective hand from America, and many deep and difficult tribulations lie on the horizon."

These predictions of Gotterdammerung piqued our interest. After all, we know that other countries have legalized marriage equality. Has God punished them? We took a quick look, and here's what we found.
  • Norway, Sweden, Canada and The Netherlands are among the 10 countries with the world's highest quality of life.
  • Denmark requires a minimum of six weeks of paid vacation a year, while the Swedes get around a month, and South Africans, three weeks.
  • Iceland has the sixth-highest life expectancy on earth. Sweden is #8, Canada is #11, and Spain and Norway are 12th and 13th.
  • New moms in Sweden get 16 months of paid maternity leave with every child. In Denmark, they get a year. In South Africa, four months.
  • Canada's been voted the 12th most beautiful country in the world.
Yep, the Lord sure has it out for these countries all right! The problem is, apparently nobody's told Him.

2 comments:

The Cranky Copywriter said...

Sounds to me that once we have legalized gay marriage god will stop punishing us with a plague of Republicns and start rewarding us with more benefits like he does with all those gay marriage countries.

The Cat's Meow said...

As long as we don't grovel. He hates groveling. And he hates apologizing. "Every time I try to talk to someone, it's 'sorry for this,' and 'forgive me for that,' and 'I am not worthy!'"