By Hubie and Bertie
Had you asked us last night, we cats would have predicted a low of 65 percent to a high of 80 percent for Benedict Donald in today's CPAC Presidential straw poll.
So it's a little shocking that he only got 55.
That is, he got 55 percent in the straw poll that included his name. Because they held two polls, one with, one without, and two very unappealing people came in first and second in the latter one. It's a chilling reminder that if this nation is ever foolish enough to elect a Republican President again, that Republican is going to be worse than Trump. Ron DeSantis and Kristi Noem are each responsible for thousands of COVID deaths — which may be to their advantage in a party that seems to value killing your own constituents. (P.S.: Former VP Mike Pence polled at 1 percent — BWWAAAAHAHAHAHA!)
To add insult to Donald's injury, only 68 percent of CPACkers said they wanted him to run again. Did somebody leak these results to Trump before he started out for the Hyatt? Because he was over an hour late, and it's easy to picture him throwing a tantrum and refusing to go. You also have to wonder because his speech was a shade on the, shall we say, "low-energy" side. Like his heart wasn't in it.
So we cats don't understand what all the Trump worship was about these last few days, if CPAC 2021 is ready to move on. Benedict Donald isn't polling much better with "his" crowd than he is with a broader GOP sampling. The only question left is whom he'll blame for today's sorry performance. We cats PURR.
(IMAGE: People thought this CPAC stage design looked like a symbol that a Nazi SS unit used. We see the resemblance, in more ways than one.)
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