Saturday, November 20, 2021

Report Card


By Baxter

Our humans tell us that colonoscopies can be wonderful. Sure, the prep is unpleasant, but once you roll into the surgical center, it's a whole different story. You're the center of attention, the procedure is serious enough for anesthesia and yet safe and routine, and you come out all pink and clean (and, hopefully, negative). Then you can go out for breakfast. The whole time, you have the perfect excuse to tell everyone you're off the grid for the day. Heaven!

Unless of course, you're President of the United States, and you have to pardon some turkeys in the afternoon.

According to Kevin O'Connor, DO, Joe Biden's personal physician, 46 is currently up to all that and more. Not only did Biden get evaluated by a real doctor yesterday, but that doctor issued a summary that was informative, professional and White-House-worthy. What a refreshing change from the bullshit that the previous Administration shoveled out about the obese, unhealthy and wildly paranoid Former Guy.

Did Trump really undergo a colonoscopy without anesthesia so he wouldn't have to transfer his Presidential power to Mike Pence? Personally, we don't believe anything Stephanie Grisham says, because like all Trumpsters, she's a liar. We're just glad those nightmare days are over, and that we have a transparent White House again. Congratulations on your small diverticula and single benign-appearing polyp, Mr. President — and happy birthday! We cats PURR.

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