By Zamboni
Sheesh! It looks like Ottawa will have to brace itself for another invasion of MAGAts and nutcases. This time, it's going to be "Rolling Thunder," a bunch of guys with small penises riding motorcycles and "protesting" who knows what. (They don't.) But authorities swear it won't be a repeat of the trucker debacle that occurred earlier this year. The invaders, they say, won't be allowed downtown. We'll see.
Meanwhile, back in the US, the ever-projecting Republicans have a lot of sex scandals on their hands. They accuse Democrats of being "groomers," and now we know why. Here are just a few examples.
In Idaho, a jury has just convicted former GOP State Rep Aaron von Ehlinger of raping a 19-year-old intern. Von Ehlinger could be sentenced to life in prison, but if he escapes that, he may have to register as a sex offender forever. It won't surprise you to learn that Idaho Republicans targeted the victim and even revealed her identity online.
In Pennsylvania, the ex-president of Young Americans for Liberty has been charged with drugging and raping a student at the University of Pittsburgh in 2013. Cliff C. Maloney is as repulsive physically as you think, which could explain why he feels the need to spike women's drinks. All you need to know is that this shining light of humanity has worked for Marjorie Taylor Greene, Nancy Mace and Rand Paul.
Finally, on to Nebraska, where Republican gubernatorial candidate Charles Herbster has been accused of sexual assault. That didn't keep Benedict Donald from endorsing him, of course. But if you were looking forward to seeing Trump rally with Herbster in Nebraska today, sorry to disappoint you — the event has been canceled because of a tornado. God works in mysterious ways!
Between these assaults on individual women and the recent GOP assaults on reproductive rights, you might wonder why any woman would vote Republican. We cats wonder too, and we HISS.
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