Thursday, April 7, 2022

What If Clarence Got Wings?


By Zamboni

Remember back in 2005, when Smirky Bush — the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived, until Donald Trump came along — nominated John Roberts to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court?

Except he didn't.

Smirky nominated Roberts to be an Associate Justice, replacing Sandra Day O'Connor. But gasp! — then William Rehnquist checked out, so Bush withdrew Roberts's name and renominated him to replace the dead guy. (And then named someone even more terrible — Samuel Alito — to fill the O'Connor vacancy. Ugh.)

We're bringing this up because we had a perverse thought about the confirmation of Ketanji Brown Jackson today. Judge Jackson won't become Justice Jackson until the end of the current SCOTUS term, when Stephen Breyer officially retires. So let's be blunt: There's no better time for Clarence Thomas to die than between now and then.

Now, any time is a good one for Clarence to shuffle off. But if he could manage to do it in the next few months (he was just hospitalized for a week with a mysterious infection, don'tcha know), Judge Jackson could take his place, and Biden could nominate someone else to succeed — you got it, Justice Breyer.

At least, we think that's how it would work. Gosh, the Republicans would be beside themselves, wouldn't they? But when you think about it, how could their behavior get any worse? We cats PURR.

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