Tuesday, January 3, 2023

Capitol Chaos (January 3rd Style)

By Hubie and Bertie

Great news, everyone! John Fetterman was sworn in today as the new Senator from Pennsylvania, and Patty Murray was elected President Pro Tempore — the first woman to hold the job. She's next in line for the Presidency after Vice President Harris and the Speaker of the House... whoever the hell that's going to be.

Yep, it's been a total clown show on the House side today, as everyone expected. That's because Kevin McCarthy never learned The Pelosi Rule: Don't go to the floor unless you have the votes.

We've done Ballot #2, and once again, Hakeem Jeffries has received more support that Kev. Chalk that up to the fact that Democrats are unified and purpose-driven. The Republicans, on the other hand, are demagogues in disarray. Things are getting more, not less, vitriolic. (Note to selves: If, by some quirk of fate, Hakeem becomes Speaker, we will watch C-SPAN absolutely every day. Can't imagine anything more riveting, because Hak takes no prisoners.)

The other great thing about this afternoon? Amid all the commotion, George Santos is sitting by himself, looking depressed. Nobody's talking to him. This, on top of the fact that he tried to go to his Congressional office this morning, saw the press gaggle waiting for him, and promptly turned on his heel and ran. Snowflake! Let's hope he resigns because he's miserable. We cats PURR.

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