Oh, What A Night

By Miss Kubelik

We cats had to search long and hard to find bad news for Democrats last night. Here are our takes on election results from around the country.

Kentucky — Andy Beshear's victory is such a repudiation of Mitch McConnell. Cameron was his guy (a former Mitch legal counsel). He was the candidate who was going to prove that Mitch wasn't a racist, that Republicans are best for Black people (at least, for those with a lot of ambitions and white wives). And Beshear even flipped Letcher County in Appalachia, a county Benedict Donald won in 2020 by almost 60 points.

Virginia — How delicious that Glenn Youngkin doubled down on an abortion ban right before Election Day. It just reminded Virginia voters of their buyers' remorse from 2021: Back then, they didn't think Glenn would do all the crap on the Republican agenda, and when he did, they said, "OMG, we made a mistake! He's making Transvaginal Bob McDonnell look reasonable!" So now, Youngkin joins Ron DeSantis in the Idiots In Silly Vests Doing Badly Club. What's gonna happen to all that Youngkin swag that the Republican elites were stockpiling for 2024?

(Special shout-out to all the Biden-Harris-endorsed Democratic candidates who won — and not just in NoVa, where all those federal employees live. Seems like an embrace from POTUS and VPOTUS is worth something after all.)

Ohio — Have Republicans in red states figured out that they might need abortions too? Not only did Buckeye State voters enshrine reproductive rights in the state constitution last night, but 18 counties that voted for Benedict Donald in 2020 joined them. "I don't like the idea of old white men telling me what I should be able to do," one Republican woman in Springfield, Ohio, told The Washington Post. "They've never been in that position." You got that right, sister. GOP Governor Mike DeWine and his forced-birth cronies will no doubt attempt to end-run the voters' will. At this point, we kind of hope he tries.

Mississippi — Tate Reeves may have won, but he won ugly. At least nine Hinds County polling places — home to the state capital, Jackson (nearly 83 percent Black) — ran out of ballots with thousands still in line to vote. A circuit judge refused to keep polls open until 9 pm. This is just out-and-out voter suppression, and it's the only way Republicans know they can win.

But even though Brandon Presley lost, he pushed Reeves hard — harder than any Republican has probably experienced in that godforsaken state. He made Medicaid expansion and access to healthcare a real issue. He convinced Black voters to embrace a moderate white Democrat. And most important, he made national Republicans spend money in Mississippi.

New Jersey — Whut? Yes! Although the Garden State wasn't at the top of any talking head's nattering list, Republicans were eviscerated in Trenton last night as well. "They had a pretty friendly map," reports the New Jersey Monitor, "yet the GOP couldn't gain one seat in the legislature. Instead, Democrats gained five in the Assembly and held onto their 25-15 majority in the Senate." The big shocker was a Democratic Assembly win in deep-red Ocean County. The Republicans thought they could ride hatred of gays and trans kids to victory, and they were deeply wrong. We cats PURR.