Saturday, March 23, 2024

PeePee Embarrasses Himself

By Miss Kubelik

The funeral of the former Conservative Prime Minister of Canada, Brian Mulroney, was held in Montreal today. It was probably the most important memorial since Pierre Trudeau's in the fall of 2000. Distinguished Canadians from across the political spectrum attended, and spoke — including current Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who had received some important support from Mulroney last June.

Each speaker shone in his or her own way. Hockey legend Wayne Gretzky was appropriately humble. And Mulroney's own voice was piped through the sanctuary, singing "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling," his favorite tune. As funerals go, this one was apparently top-notch.

Sadly, current Conservative Party leader Pierre Poilievre didn't get the memo. In a man-on-the-street interview outside the Notre Dame basilica, Poilievre was given the softest of softballs — the opportunity to say some nice things about the deceased — and instead, standing in the falling snow next to his evidently miserable wife, he chose to make a political statement about how awful things are in Canada today. (Which they aren't.) How Trumpy — take an interview that any normal politician could have easily handled with taste and class, and turn it into a disgusting, self-promoting cauchemar.

Dude just doesn't know how to read a room. And although we were not fans of Mulroney, who was a big Ronald Reagan stan, we have to believe that he wouldn't have approved of Poilievre's behavior today, either. Poilievre may have gotten a new haircut, ditched his glasses, and now favors Steve-Jobs-type black turtlenecks — but there's no makeover that can improve his wretched personality. It's hard to believe that Canadians will overlook that in next year's elections. We cats HISS.

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