By Zamboni
Elian Gonzalez has joined the Communist Party.
Before you ask "What's the Communist Party?" let us cats remind you who Elian is. Eight years ago, he was not just the survivor of a Cuban rafter trip gone horribly wrong but also the victim of what outside Miami-Dade County, Florida, is often referred to as a kidnapping. His captors: the most unappealing family on the face of the earth, his Miami relatives.
It took a determined Attorney General and the force of the U.S. government to return Elian to his dad. Now, to the chagrin of the Cuban exile community, Elian has joined the Young Communist League and has pledged his loyalty to Fidel (or actually, to Raul, since he's the one in charge now).
We make no comment on this since we're sure that sometime in our nine lifetimes — perhaps even soon — the Communist Party will either cease to exist entirely in Cuba or will no longer resemble itself from the heady days of Castro and Che. But we always thought it was obscene of the Miami relatives to try to ply the then-six-year-old Elian with toys, video games, bicycles and other gewgaws. Was that their idea of what it meant to be an American — having a lot of stuff?
Better they had read him a copy of the Constitution. But we don't think they'd recognize it if they fell over it.
(Photo: Periodico, Las Tunas, Cuba. Elian is on the right.)
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