Thursday, February 11, 2010

A Guy Who Makes Mark Sanford Look Good

By Sniffles

What is it about the state of South Carolina? It seems to foist more idiocy on the world than any other state in the nation. (Don't fret, Alaska — just by producing Sarah "Hand Job" Palin, you're second.)

After a lull, the Palmetto State has once again lived up to its unofficial slogan, "Yes, We Have Thousands of Ways to Appall You." In these tough economic times, when even working people are having trouble making ends meet, South Carolina Republican gubernatorial candidate Andre Bauer has criticized the federal food stamp program with this charming anecdote: "[My grandmother] told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed.”

We don't know what makes Mr. Bauer an expert on breeding, since as a closeted homosexual he probably doesn't do much of it himself. But his breathtaking callousness and complete lack of empathy for his fellow human beings is not unusual in today's taken-over-by-the-wingnuts Republican Party. (Oh, and by the way, we cats highly recommend that folks not only feed stray animals, but also get them fixed.)

Oh, well. We suppose we should be grateful that Mr. Bauer has explained why there are so many fools in South Carolina. Obviously, they breed them.

(IMAGE: "Duck Amuck," Warner Bros., 1953. For a more accurate description of Andre Bauer, change the "D" to an "F.")

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