Did you think we cats had forgotten all about "Transvaginal Bob" McDonnell and his greedy fat cheerleader wife, just because all this other serious stuff — like Iraq and Ferguson and immigration and Rick Perry's abuse of power — has been going on?
No! In fact, heck no! Transvaginal Bob and the repulsive Maureen's trial on the 14 felony counts that resulted from the government's, um, "probe" into their shady dealings with a vitamin salesman continues to provide welcome and wonderful relief from weightier issues of the day.
Not that we think that the charges are inconsequential — far from it. We just love, love, love the fact that the defense, which kicked off its cat-and-pony show this morning, has had to rely on vague assertions of "Oh, gee, Bob is such an honest and frugal guy," in between cringeworthy trashings of his loving Christian spouse. It got so bad, actually, that Maureen's attorneys asked today that the McDonnells be tried separately. (The no-nonsense Judge Spencer refused the request.)
We're also soaking up the comings and goings of Bob himself, swarmed outside the courthouse by reporters, whose scrum he navigates with non sequiturs and a Xanax-inspired dopey smile. This guy used to be in charge of the entire Commonwealth? Horrors!
We cats richly savor the fact that a man who — with his execrable attorney general — violated the privacy of countless Virginia women and their doctors, is now being assaulted by the media, the prosecutors, his former staff, his family, and, ultimately, us political rubberneckers. Is there someone who more richly deserves this? Well, yes — maybe the Cootch. Still and all, we cats PURR.
P.S. Unlike the McDonnell-adoring Janet Kelly, we cats would never dream of bothering God with the details of a stock purchase. Some people should never be let near the reins of government.
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