Thursday, April 2, 2015

Asa Fool's Day

By Zamboni

In years past, we cats never wanted to shop at Walmart because they were, well, horrible. Yes, their prices were lower, but their labor practices (among other things) were repulsive. We always felt like we had to do some serious grooming whenever we left there.

So we made a point of going to Target. They cost more, but Target had always positioned itself as a socially conscious company, so we were willing to take a dent in the pocketbook to make a point.

How things do change, and in what strange ways! Today it's Walmart that's looking progressive, and Target that's a bunch of idiots. Our little furry heads are spinning.

That's because in addition to giving its employees a raise, Walmart has just wrestled Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson to the ground on his state's so-called "religious freedom" bill. Smiling creepily throughout, Hutchinson gave a press conference yesterday in which he said, oops, he wasn't going to sign that hate bill after all, and his fellow Republicans in Little Rock had to fix it.

Meanwhile, we haven't shopped at Target since the company gave $150,000 to gay-hating Republican gubernatorial candidate Tom Emmer in 2010. Their CEO at the time, Gregg Steinhafel, is long gone now — but we see no reason to return to Tar-jay any time soon. Especially since the Family Walton has gotten so hip, progressive and cool.

Who'da thunk it?

Next stop: Our good friends at Free Republic, to see if they've started their NCAA-Angie's List-Walmart boycott yet. What are we thinking? Of course they have. We cats PURR.

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