Freepers: Boxed In By Semantics

By Zamboni

We cats are wondering why, especially with an earthquake in Nepal and other problems raging in the world, we're all supposed to be enraptured with tonight's White House Correspondents' Dinner. We checked briefly on the dinner's "red carpet moments" and found that we didn't know who three-quarters of the scantily clad attendees were. Those folks wouldn't know a White House correspondent if they fell over one. Our condolences to President Obama for being obligated to attend Washington's silliest event.

But as long as the world is consumed with fluff and faux-celebrity, let's check on our right-wing friends over at Free Republic to see how they're handling America's newly famous transsexual, Bruce Jenner, and his declaration that he's a conservative Republican. (A far more shocking confession, in our book, than becoming a woman. Going girl, we understand. But why would anyone want to be a Republican?)

Unlike Jenner, who seems to know his own mind when it comes to gender identity, the Freepers are confused. Almost immediately, they descended into a tortured discussion about what Bruce meant when he said "conservative." Clearly they don't want to surrender their cherished adjective to a weird, maybe homo guy. So they're bending over backward to try to take it back.

And as always with our friends the Freeps, it's all very amusing. But we warn Bruce Jenner: Don't plan on making a speech at next year's Republican convention. Not when the GOP's whackjob base says things like this about you:

"This doesn’t exactly fill me with pride (to say the least)."

"From the cover of Wheaties to the cover of Fruit Loops."

"Regarding the man or woman thing, I believe he is nuts."

"A pear saying it is a broccoli is still a fruit."

"Choosing to self-mutilate the body God gave you is not a conservative value."

"Jenner and all like him/her/it are emotionally and mentally disturbed or outright insane. Nothing they claim or say should be taken seriously."

"When I think of Jenner I don’t thing conservative or liberal. I just think 'freak'!”

And here's our fave, bar none: "When is Bruce going to join Jeb on the campaign trail?" We cats PURR.