We cats think that RNC Chairman Rancid Pieface has something to worry about. Well, wait — if we're talking about 2016, he has a lot of things to worry about. But here's one that might not have occurred to him.
The Republican primary calendar is pretty much set, and so is the convention. Both are, shall we say, on the early side. Gone are the days when the GOP cravenly waited to convene until the anniversary of September 11 (next year they're scheduled to wrap in Cleveland by July 21). And with the forces of Jeb! likely angling behind closed doors to move the Florida primary to the first available winner-take-all date of March 15, we're sure that Pieface & Friends are rubbing their hands in glee — certain that they've avoided a long and bruising primary season.
But here's a downside to that strategy. Powering a frontrunner toward a near-sure finish line by the first day of spring could leave plenty of time for a third-party candidate to get on state ballots for the fall. And if events unfold the way we think they might, 2016 might be the year that the teabags finally do just that.
Why? The gays, of course! We've checked on our little friends over at Free Republic, and they are hopping mad that their religious freedoms are being taken away. Mike Pence and Indiana Republicans have "capitulated to tyranny." Asa Hutchinson does whatever Walmart tells him. Christians are under attack! And America has become a fascist state! Reading comments like that, we cats think that the Freepers and the teabaggers and the Gadsden flaggers might, at long last, make good on their vow to blow up the GOP. Especially if the Supreme Court does what everybody seems to think they will in June.
Who will their candidate be? Depends on how those early primaries and caucuses go, but we cats are betting on Ted Cruz. He's the type.
The Republicans' nutty base has been screaming "third party" for awhile now, so Rancid Pieface has no excuse for not thinking of this. But he should brace himself. You don't coddle people who say things like "It's all fun and games until the lead starts to fly" without reaping some sort of whirlwind. If that's a third party, we cats would PURR.
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