Thursday, January 18, 2018

Advice To Amazon

By Sniffles

The reports are in, and there are 20 finalists for Amazon's "second headquarters" outside of Seattle. We cats have looked over the list, and we have a suggestion for Jeff Bezos:

Don't reward a city in a red state to which it'll become difficult to recruit highly qualified millennials and other fabulous people for political reasons.

How does that shake out among the finalists? Well, let us explain by citing a few examples.

Dallas — Really? Do you think that women will want to relocate to a state whose Republican legislature so limits abortion rights that it mandates "rape insurance"?

Austin — Yes, we know that the Lone Star State's capital is a fetching dot of blue in a red sea, but see above. 

Miami — Um, climate forecasters agree that South Florida will be underwater soon, and the GOP-led state legislature, not to mention the current EPA, couldn't care less.

Indianapolis — Leading metropolis in the state of the gay-hating Mike Pence. No, thanks.

Nashville — Abortions banned after 20 weeks last year. This state is not flexibly family-friendly to young workers seeking to make lives and careers there. Pass.

Get our drift, Jeff? Actually, if you don't want to confine yourself to one of the open and welcoming blue states on the list, consider at least these two candidates: Toronto, because it's in a country that's not governed by a sociopath, and Newark, whose airport barred Chris Christie from using the VIP line in security today. We cats PURR.

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