Prison Gaetz

By Hubie and Bertie

Reports have come in that Matt Gaetz's former girlfriend testified in his child-sex-trafficking case yesterday. Credible legal beagles were suggesting that we should take this as a signal that prosecutors are close to an indictment. And since the extension agreement for Gaetz pal Joel Greenberg to provide additional evidence runs through March, the timing seems right.

If Gaetz is indeed indicted, will he stay in Congress? Or will he be forced to resign, particularly if Benedict Donald and his traitorous House minions give him the heave-ho?

Frankly, we hope he sticks around. There have been other effective instances of how one stained member can tarnish an entire Congressional caucus.

On the ancient history side, there's Jim Wright. The twangy Texan and Democratic Speaker of the House — he of the impossibly elfin eyebrows — had to quit back in 1989 after an ethics scandal involving a developer from Fort Worth and royalties from a dumb book he wrote that nobody read. Republicans tarred the entire party with the Jim Wright brush. Five years later, the GOP took the House for the first time in decades, and the Gingrich era of horrors began.

More recently, we have the Mark Foley "I send sexy mash notes to Congressional interns" brouhaha of 2006, which, pundits believe, helped Democrats wrest control of the House from the Republicans that November. (It also contributed to Dennis Hastert losing the Speakership, and it might be worth noting that Hastert later went to jail for child molestation. Do we detect a pattern?)

So, let an indicted Matt Gaetz stay, at least through 2022. He certainly continues the Republicans' long and affectionate tradition of rape and sexual abuse of minors. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.